"Do you mind coming with me to find her, we can hunt along the way." Darkmoss suggested. She still had no idea awaited for her when she found her apprentice.
"Yeah, I'll come with you." Thistle still forced his voice from cracking up with fear and grief. The same scene kept playing in his head. Lillypaw being knocked off her paws, finding her hind paws ground to stand on, then her haunches falling limply into the water.
"Thistle are you okay? You seem distracted." Darkmoss broke the loop playing in Thistle's head. He quickly shook the rest of the thought out of his head.
"I'm fine, I just had a bad thought."
"You don't think something bad happened to Lillypaw, do you?" Concern filled Darkmoss' voice. Another wave of grief gripped Thistle's throat, leaving him unable to speak for a quick moment without being noticeably sad.
"No, at least I hope not." What if she finds out? Can she smell Birch and Curly on me? I never washed off. The thought of Darkmoss finding out hit him hard. He would have no where to go. Thistle finished off the last few bites of his thrush. Darkmoss had finished her vole shortly afterwards.

Let's get this over with. Fear griped Thistle again.
"Are you ready?" Darkmoss asked.
"Yeah, where should we look first?"
"I say fallen tree, she might have decided to explore over there, or decided that hunting would be good." Oh StarClan help me. She could easily picked up lillypaw's and my scent! I'll just have to lead her away from where we walked.
"Sounds good to me." Thistle tried to make his voice a bit more cheerful, although it didn't completely work. Thistle followed Darkmoss out of camp, fear pricked his paws. Reluctantly, he followed behind Darkmoss. He forced himself next to Darkmoss, and tried to appear happy.

"Is everything okay Thistle?" Darkmoss' question had caught Thistle off guard.
"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm just worried about Lillypaw, that's all." Yet another lie.
"I'm sure she's fine, wait," Thistle's heart skipped a beat, hopping that Darkmoss hadn't picked up his and Lillypaw's scent from that morning. "I smell squirrel." Thistle let out his breath that he was holding. He opened his mouth and smelled for the squirrel. The scent was coming from up ahead, where the creek was. Thistle's heart dropped as Darkmoss darted up a tree chasing the squirrel above where Lillypaw's body should be. Thistle caught up at the base of the tree, following Darkmoss as she darted onto the branch.

"Be careful! I don't want you getting hurt." Thistle called up to her. She didn't answer but she leapt onto the back of the squirrel, killing it swiftly.
"What's that?" Thistle could barely hear Darkmoss as she mumbled through the squirrel's fur.
"What is it?" Thistle replied. He knew exactly what it was.
"No!" Darkmoss' cry broke Thistle's heart. Thistle jumped as the squirrel Darkmoss had dropped landed next to him. "Lillypaw!"  Thistle looked in the creek, he could see the calico pelt of Lillypaw pushed down her small body. What have I done? Thistle looked over at Darkmoss, she was definitely heart-broken. She glanced at Darkmoss, her normally bright green eyes where dull and glossy from grief.

"Lillypaw," her voice was choked with sorrow. She dropped down the small ledge to the creek. She waded over to what was her apprentice. I'm so sorry. Thistle forced himself not to tell Darkmoss everything that happened, which would end badly. Thistle walked closer to the ledge as Darkmoss put her nose into Lillypaw's soaked fur.
"Darkmoss, we should bring her back to camp." Thistle told her after a deep breath. She solemnly looked over at Thistle, her eyes still full of shock. She gave a faint nod then opened her mouth to pick the calico apprentice. She seemed to hesitate at first, slightly drawing her head back and slightly closed her mouth. She gave a sigh as she squinted her eyes and grabbed the apprentice's scruff.

As Darkmoss was carrying her apprentice up the steep creek bank, Thistle was reaching for the squirrel. He had just realized how twisted it's body was from the impact. He paused for a moment, waiting for Darkmoss to catch up.
"Would you like any help?" Thistle mumbled through the squirrel's fur as the two cats headed to camp. Darkmoss just shook her head. "I'm really sorry for what happened, I-I don't know what to say," Thistle spoke before he thought it through. Darkmoss looked over at him, through the sea of grief and shock, there was a bit of warmth showing through. Thistle had originally meant it as an apology for not trying to save Lillypaw, thankfully Darkmoss had thought that it was a sign of empathy. The air felt stale as The two cats padded back to camp. Thistle mourned to spill everything out of what just happened. If I do, who knows what will happen to me. The thought sent chills down his spine.

Lies won't last forever, but now is definitely not the time. Darkmoss had just laid down next to Lillypaw, grooming out her wet fur.
"What happened!" Sapwhisker's cry nearly made Thistle jump. Darkmoss quickly looked over at Lillypaw's mother, horror gleamed in her eyes.
"I found her in the creek, dead" Darkmoss seemed force out her grief stricken words. The calico mother ran over and put her nose into her kits fur. Nearly a few moment later
"Who would've done this!" Thistle looked away from Sapwhisker. I did. By the time Thistle looked back over, Sapwhisker was joined by Shrubbery, her mate.
"What's going on?" Ashstar called out. Thistle looked over at Darkmoss and gave her a small nod, telling her that he'll talk to Ashstar.

"What happened to Lillypaw?" Ashstar asked once Thistle was in front of her.
"No one had seen Lillypaw all day, we just assumed that she went out hunting with another cat or was exploring. We found her dead in the creek, she had drowned." Thistle told her with a sigh, nothing was really a lie this time, but guilt build up in Thistle's belly. I can't tell anyone.
"That's horrible, I was looking forward to seeing how Lillypaw would do with her training." The dark grey leader paused for a moment before continuing, " I need to address this to the clan." Ashstar turned around and jumped onto high rock

"Cats of BirchClan, I have bad news." As if summoned, a hunting patrol entered the clearing. Aquaspear, Sageheart, Dewpelt, Sorrelleaf entered first, followed by their apprentices, Snowpaw and Quailpaw. Thistle felt the urge to run off when the two young apprentices saw their friend dead. They dropped the prey that they where holding by the entrance before running over to Darkmoss. The grieving brown and black she-cat had sat up.

"If you haven't noticed, one of our new apprentices has died. I have been told that she had drown in the creek. I'm sure that StarClan will take her in and continue her training there." Ashstar stopped, as if she didn't know what to say. "We'll sit vigil for her tonight, then we'll bury her in the morning." She leapt off her den and padded over to Lillypaw's body. A few cats made the apprentice look like she was sleeping.

-Author's note-

Yes, i'm not dead, although I basically am. sorry I haven't uploaded regularly. I've kinda lost all motivation for this book. I thought I would've gotten a strong urge to write after summer break but I was apparently wrong. I'm going to proof read everything I already have written and publish that hopefully on my normal weekly schedule. I don't really know if i'll ever finish the book or not. but who knows, maybe i'll write the last handful of chapters really quickly and actually finish the book. anyway, thanks for staying this long I guess? bai!!