Living in a house where I get lost,

I'm tripping over my jeans.

The black and white world from years ago,

Is creeping up on me.

Crawling up stairs, chasing butterflies,

Tearing sewn up seams.

I'm just a child, trying on the world

And it's, too big for me.

-"Child," Natalie Holmes

1.

July 13, 2006

James probably wouldn't have heard the bird at the window on a normal night. As it was, however, he'd lay awake all night, Elise's head on his arm – she had slid off his shoulder long ago – occasionally falling into a restless sleep for a few minutes, but never very long. So when the brown owl rapped it's beak on the window at four AM, James was awake to hear it. He rolled out of bed, only being slightly careful not to wake Elise, and went to open it. He already knew what it would say, and still, he couldn't wait to read it.

He pushed the window up and let Dawson's owl, Polly, flutter in along with a gust of wind of the water. It landed atop the dresser and stuck out it's leg. James fished out a treat for it from the tin on the beside table, untied the note from around it's ankle, and it flew off again. James wondered if Dawson had told it to be speedy so he could send out more announcements.

He turned around to find his wand, muttered "Lumos" and sat down on the edge of the bed to read.

Baby's here. (!!!) We've named her Piper Renee and she's perfect. Six pounds, nine ounces. A lot of dark hair. Born at three thirty-seven this morning. Raigan's doing well – would love to see you both. We're in room 917 on the ninth floor if you want to stop by.

-Dawson

James read it over three times, heart pounding. He didn't know what had changed since seven o'clock last night when they'd gotten word that Raigan had gone into labor, but something had definitely slipped in that hadn't been there before. He hadn't given much thought to the baby the way he had to Raigan's growing belly and unpredictable mood swings, but now that she was here – it was a girl, somehow that felt right – he couldn't wait to meet her.

He felt Elise roll onto her back behind him.

"She had the baby," said James. He put the note down and turned to face Elise. "Piper Renee."

"Pretty," said Elise with a sleepy smile. Her eyes fell shut again and she curled up deeper under the covers. "I'm glad they had a girl. Dawson's gonna spoil her rotten."

"Yeah," James grinned. "Yeah, he will." He stood up and started heading for the bathroom to get ready.

"Where are you going?" asked Elise, forcing her eyes open again. She pushed her hair off her forehead.

"We've got to get ready," he said. "We've got to go and see them."

"James, it's like... what time even is it?"

"Four ten," said James.

"Exactly. Come back to bed."

"No," he said. "Elise, we have to go and see her now."

Elise pushed herself up to seated. Her hair slid over to her right. "James she's probably exhausted and she needs to nurse," said Elise, pragmatic as ever. "Let her sleep a while. We'll go at eleven or something."

"Nine," said James.

"Ten," said Elise with a sort of finality he couldn't argue with. "Come're. I'm cold."

James hesitated another minute, but Elise tipped her head to the side in question and he slipped back under the covers. Elise slid her arms around his neck and kissed him. "I never knew you were so broody," she whispered.

"Neither did I," said James.

She smiled a little and started to lay back down. James wrapped her back under his arm and pulled her in close, face in her hair. He did not to expect to fall back asleep, but Elise was probably right about waiting. This wasn't a bad way to do it.

---

James hadn't spent a lot of time at St. Mungo's and he had certainly not spent any time at on the neonatal floor. He felt nervous in a way he hadn't expected. He didn't know the first thing about babies. He didn't know what sort of state Raigan would be in. And worst of all he didn't know what you were expected to say to someone who had just given birth. Were you supposed to say 'good job pushing that tiny human out of your body' or were you were supposed to pretend you didn't know that was what had just happened?

He held Elise's hand as they walked down the hall, but his fingers were fidgety. "It's 917," he told her for probably the sixth time since they'd arrived, not including the multiple mentions of this fact he'd made at home.

Elise just gave his hand a little squeeze and kept walking until they reached the door. It was ajar and he heard Raigan's mum speaking inside, something about going down for a coffee and did anyone else want one.

"Maybe a cup of tea." Raigan's voice this time.

"Course, darling. Dawson?"

"A coffee would be great, thanks."

Next to him, Elise turned to look at him. Her ponytail swung over onto her shoulder. "Go on, then," she said.

"Right," said James, reaching for the handle at the very same moment that Mrs. Woodley pushed through it.

"Oh!" she said and she wrapped her arms around James. He let go of Elise's hand to reciprocate. "Lovely to see you, dear. What a day. Wait till you see," she smiled. Mrs. Woodley turned to Elise, clasped her hand, positively beaming, and switched places with them so they could enter.

James stepped inside. It was not a large room. Several chairs had been pulled up around the bed, but they cluttered the space so there was little room to walk around. He saw Dawson first, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand on Raigan's knee. Another step into the room revealed Raigan herself, the baby in her arms. She looked exhausted but she was absolutely glowing.

James had never understood why people said that until that moment. When she looked up at him, her eyes were bright.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," said James. The baby moved one impossibly tiny arm and he froze, suddenly terrified. What was he doing here? He did not belong around a kid. He wasn't to be trusted with something that small and fragile.

"Do you want to hold her?" asked Raigan.

James glanced at Elise for answer to this question. She rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, he wants to," which made Dawson laugh. But James had just realized his did not know how to hold a baby. He didn't think he ever had before. No one he knew had ever had one.

With Dawson's help, Raigan straightened up and Elise nudged James forward. Tentatively, he held out his hand and Raigan showed him hold to support her head. James tried not to move too much, because he was terrified to do something wrong. He looked at Piper's face for the first time. Her eyes were shut, but he could tell already she was going to look just like Raigan.

"Oh my god," he said. She didn't weight a thing, but she felt so, so warm on his skin. She wiggled, kicking out one little leg and made a squawky sounds like a warm-up cry. James looked at Raigan in a hurry for help only to find she had one hand over her mouth and her eyes were wet. She let out a teeny sob when they made eye contact. "She's so beautiful, Rai."

Raigan slumped over into Dawson's shoulder and smiled. One tear slipped out and slid down her cheek. Dawson ran his hand up and down Raigan's arm and kissed her on the side of the head.

"You got a better reaction than me," said Dawson with a grin. Raigan laughed. James felt Elise's arm slide around his back as she leaned over to see Piper better. For the first time in his entire life, he thought that maybe, someday, he'd like this to be him. He thought he'd like to see Elise with a little baby girl in her arms and her skin greasy but glowing, and he'd be able to look at them both and say they were his.

2.

February 2007

The corporate Valentine's Day party was set to take place at six o'clock the Thursday evening before Valentine's day. Raigan arrived with Piper shortly beforehand, a fact which no one could miss, because Dawson immediately began carting her all around the department to show her off. James had been closeted up in Elise's office all afternoon doing follow up work on a recent investigation they had just wrapped up.

"Look who's here," said Dawson as he invited himself into the office, Piper in his arms. Her hair was in a little whale spot with a sparkly red bow and she wore a white dress with red hearts all over it, floofed out with an unnecessary amount of tulle. It was sickeningly cute. Raigan entered at his heels.

"Hey, Rai," said James, standing up to kiss her on the cheek.

Elise jumped up at once, holding out her hands for the baby. She would be eight months old tomorrow. "Hi, sweet girl," she cooed, situating Piper on her hip. Piper's pudgy little hands smacked Elise on the cheek as she launched her upper body backwards towards James. Elise tutted. "Oh, she always wants to see you," she said, passing her off again.

"She does love James," Raigan agreed. Dawson laughed and slid his arm around Raigan's waist. She looked very pretty with a dark red dress under her robes. She didn't dress up often.

Meanwhile, Piper had begun to tug on James' collar. He had not dressed up festive. Truthfully, it was because he hadn't really wanted to, but publicly, he maintained that he didn't have any red or pink in his wardrobe. For what it was worth, Elise hadn't worn festive colors either, but she looked pretty as ever in a sweater with bits of silver thread woven in and a neat black skirt.

"I don't know why she likes me said," said James, who was sure his face looked nothing short of terrified. The girls were right though. Piper did love James. She had always been that way. He could always get her to start belly-laughing and she would scarcely let him put her down except to be handed to Dawson, whom she was equally partial too.

"Course you do," said Dawson. "It's cause she's a little flirt. This little squirt is Elise's competition."

"Mm," said James. "I don't think it's much of a fight. Elise doesn't need diapers."

She grinned. "I mean that's one good thing about me."

"Anything new up at Hogwarts, Rai?" asked James.

She shook her head. "Just a lot of colds going around. That time of the year, you know."

James nodded. It had been a horribly cold winter. He was glad they had been around the office that day and not out anywhere.

Piper, who had apparently not been given enough attention, started babbling all kinds of baby talk to which James said, "Oh really? That's very interesting."

Elise smirked.

Piper reached out to grab his nose, one of her favorite pastimes, and James scrunched up his face in response. She let out one hearty baby laugh so he did it again. Repetition always got her going.

"Makes me sick, how good he is with her," said Elise, her eyes on Raigan.

"I don't know if it's good or lucky," said James. "She scares the life out of me."

Raigan laughed. "She's just a baby."

"Exactly," said James.

3.

August 2008

"James?" asked Raigan, stepping into the living room where James was organizing a seating chart for the upcoming school year. Her voice sounded suspiciously high.

"What can I do for you?" he asked. She took a few more steps inside and sat down in the red chair opposite the couch. She set the baby monitor, a clear glass cube that turned deepening shades of red as the baby's noise level increased, on the side table. She had just finished putting Piper down for her afternoon nap.

"I have a bit of an issue," she said.

"Alright," said James, waiting for more information.

"You know that conference I need to go to?"

He nodded.

"This weekend?"

James had a terrible feeling he knew where this was going. "Sure," he said easily, trying to wish his inclination out of existence. "What about it?"

She took a deep breath and exhaled her words. "My parents can't make it."

"Oh," said James, who now knew, with a feeling of deepest terror setting into his lower belly, exactly what was coming.

"They just lost a friend of theirs and the funeral is on Saturday all the way in Lyon and you know Dawson's parents just left on Tuesday to visit the other grandkids in the states and I just don't know anyone else who knows her. Will you please, please, please stay with her for the weekend?"

She gave him about three seconds to deliberate before she went on. "It'll just be one night and I'll get back as early as I can on Saturday. You can call me back if anything happens at all. And I'll leave all kinds of food ready to go for both of you and her schedule all written out. Please, James. I have to go to this stupid thing or I'll lose my job and-"

"Rai," said James. She stopped talking at once. "Of course. It'll be fine."

Raigan jumped up and threw her arms around him. "Thank you," she whispered. "You have no idea-"

"Don't worry about it," said James, but he didn't really think this was the right thing to say, because he was worrying about it very much. He had never had Piper on his own for more than an hour or two before.

---

Saturday, while not a grand success, was not a total nightmare either. James thought it had gone quite well all things considered. He'd had to change Piper's clothes three times and had nearly run out of viable entertainment options, but they had arrived at bedtime and she was still alive, fed, watered, and bathed so he thought he'd done decently well. He sat down in the rocking chair and read her favorite book – a toddler-proofed version of "The Wizard and the Hopping Pot" with many more colorful pictures and many fewer words than the original – seven and a half times before she lost interest and then he picked her up and put her in bed.

Piper snuggled under the covers, hugged her stuffed cat to her chest, and said, "Mummy always says 'Goodnight, sleep tight, let all the bedbugs bite.'"

James was pretty sure something about her statement hadn't come out quite right, but he just said, "Oh. Of course," and repeated in her words. "Night Pipe," he said. "See you in the morning. It was fun to play with you today." He began to step backwards towards the hallway, not quite sure how to extricate himself from the room.

She kept quiet until he had almost shut the door and then she said, "James? I mean Mr. James?"

Raigan had recently begun trying to change what Piper called him to clear up any confusion about what role he played in her life, but Piper hadn't taken it to it very well. She rarely remembered.

"Yeah Pipe?" he asked, pushing the door back open partway. A sliver of light from the hallway widened on the ground reached all the way to her bed. He hadn't done a very good job styling her hair after her bath.

"Mummy always snuggles and rubs my back," she said.

"Oh. Right." James hesitated. He had not eaten his own dinner yet, busy as he was trying to get Piper ready for bed on time. But he stepped back inside, climbed over the railing on the side of her bed that kept her from falling out, and laid down next to her, head propped up in his elbow. With his free hand, he smoothed his hand over the back of her pajama top, pink and patterned with little wands and broomsticks.

She let this go on for a few minutes before she rolled over and snuggled into his chest. James dropped his head down and circled his arm under her shoulders. Her skin felt hot with sleep, and her still baby-fine hair smelled sweet from the foamy shampoo she used.

James started to feel funny. He didn't know what to call it. Plenty of times he had carried Piper around or let her sit on his lap or climb all over him, but he had never lay in bed with her and held her this way. He'd never taken more than a minute or two in the quiet to just think about what she had begun to mean to him.

He felt differently than he had when he'd walked into the room that night. Not like a babysitter. Not like this was Raigan's kid and he was taking care of her because he loved Raigan, but like this was Raigan's kid and he was taking care of her because he loved them both.

James hadn't ever really thought about it before, because he still considered love to be a romantic emotion most of the time, and sometimes, hard-earned over years and year of mutual trust, one of friendship. He assumed that if he ever had a kid of his own - he didn't like to think this way much, because he was still raw - he'd love it, but to love someone else's child was not a phenomenon he had ever imagined.

But he did love Piper. He really loved her. His stomach flipped around with the notion for a long time, not at all aided by the steady sound of breathing as she fell asleep or the feeling of her tiny, two-year old body, pressed into his side. It was crazy how someone that small who could cause you so much trouble and extra work, could sneak their way into your heart like that. He couldn't imagine life without Piper anymore.

He stayed there with her long after she fell asleep, waiting until she rolled away from him on her own. If she had not, he thought he might have stayed all night.

4.

June 2011

As soon as James, Raigan, and Piper returned from Hogwarts at the end of the school year, James' parents had come up from Killarney for a visit. They had taken an interest in Piper that he hadn't really anticipated. As soon as they realized the extent to which James' was taking place in her life, they'd begun to treat her like a grandchild. Piper adored them. James often wondered how much this had to do with the fact that they always came bearing gifts.

On this most recent visit, they'd arrived with a children's broom. She had a toy broom already - purple with silver swirls all up and down the handle - but it only got about a foot off the ground and Piper had really shot up in the last year. She'd lost interest when her feet began to drag on the ground and had been badgering Raigan for a new broom ever since.

She loved looking at old photos of James in his quidditch days and listening to stories of his greatest plays, all of which he severely exaggerated for her benefit. James sometimes brought her up to the school matches when the weather was nice and she was always mesmerized.

In the week or so since his parents had left, they'd scarcely gotten Piper off her new broom. It still didn't go up too high, but she thought it was great compared to the toy broom she'd been stuck with before. She was wobbly and hadn't yet figured out how to turn or land which had resulted in a lot of crashes and a lot of scraped knees and elbows, but she didn't seem bothered. Finally, a little fed up with having to whip out her wand to mend a cut every five seconds, Raigan went asking around for a children's quidditch camp where Piper could learn a few things about flying.

They found one near Godric's Hollow and Raigan dropped her off every morning for a week, picking her up again at lunch time. Piper chattered about it nonstop all that week and most of all about the scrimmage they were set to have on the last day. James promised her he would come and watch, so Friday morning, he and Raigan packed up a blanket, a few bottles of water, and they all three headed out together.

The camp took place in a large field on the outskirts of the village which had been set up with Muggle Repelling Charms to keep things private. They laid their blanket out alongside other mums and a few dads and Piper ran out on the field, her broom dragging on the ground behind her. Her coach held out a hand for a high five as she approached and she smacked his hand, hard.

"Can you believe she'll be five in two weeks?" asked Raigan, watching as the coach began to lead them through a series of warm-ups.

"Not possible," said James. "She's finished having birthdays."

Raigan smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Thanks for coming. She was really excited you were gonna be here."

"Course," said James. "I wouldn't miss it."

They turned their attention back to the field, watching Piper and a selection of other four to six year olds wobble their way through a flying obstacle course - in and out of cones, through hoops, and around barrels.

"She's gotten a lot better," said James and Raigan nodded her agreement. "I'm impressed."

"She's fearless," said Raigan, watching her whip through the course at a much quicker - albeit sloppier - pace than the rest of the campers. James laughed.

"No doubt," he said.

Before they started their game, the coaches sent them all away for a quick water break. Piper tumbled off her broom, left it laying in the grass, and sprinted full speed at James. She dove into his lap and knocked him straight onto his back. He lifted her up, airplane style, and she squealed, tucking all her limbs in to keep her balance.

James lowered her back down and rolled back up to sitting.

"Did you see me?" asked Piper, her eyes wide. "Wasn't I doing it gooder than some people?"

"Focus on you," said Raigan. "What you're doing is awesome, but let's not put other people down to celebrate our own accomplishments.."

"You're doing great," agreed James. "I love how speedy you can go."

Piper could not sit still in his lap. She wiggled around, all elbows and knees in his stomach, and talked nonstop about how excited she was to win ("Play," Raigan corrected) their game.

When their coach called them back, Piper threw her arms around James neck and then scrambled over to hug her mum too.

"Get back out there, girly," said James, giving her a little pat on the back. She tore off again.

And as James watched the kids working their way through a pretty unidentifiable excuse for a quidditch match, he couldn't help thinking to himself - though he would never say so to Raigan - that to any of the other parents, he must look like her dad.

5.

December 2013

On the Saturday evening following the end of the first term, the headmaster threw an annual Christmas party for the faculty and staff. Most of the students left that morning leaving the castle relatively quiet and by that evening, the faculty had wrapped up - or mostly wrapped up - grading any end of term exams or papers before they headed home for their own holiday celebrations with their families.

On this particular year, they had all gathered in the astronomy tower which had been decorated beautifully in long chains of evergreen garland wound with silver tinsel and real fairies, glass bowls filled with silver and gold baubles at the center of each brassy round table, and a tall, thin Christmas tree in front of the large windows. It had snowed that afternoon and though it was dark out now, James could still see it collected on the window sill.

Piper had been out playing in it all afternoon and her nose was still runny from the chilly December air. She sat on James lap now, drawing pictures of snowmen and wrapped presents on her napkin. The tulle of her red, sparkly Christmas dress spilled over the edges of the chair. It was tied off with a gigantic bow around her waist that matched the big red bow attached to one side of her headband. She looked adorable. Raigan loved dressing her up for the holidays, right down to her white tights with bits of gold thread woven in, and the glitter all over her Mary Janes.

"Look at that one's funny face," she giggled, pointing to her most recent addition, a snowman with his mouth in a round 'O' shape and his eyes likes X's.

"Uh oh, he looks like he just looked into the sun by mistake," said James.

"Yeah!" agreed Piper, giving her work a satisfied smile.

"You should give him some sunglasses," James suggested.

"Hm," she said. "I don't know how to draw those."

Raigan returned from the dessert table juggling three small plates. She set them down carefully and took her seat again to his right. "You want a brownie or a cookie, Pipe?"

"Brownie," she said, adding a carrot nose to a baby snowman next to her sun-blinded one.

"What do you say?"

"Please."

Raigan rolled her eyes at this insincere attempt at manners, but slid one of two brownies to Piper anyway. "What about you, James?"

"Whichever you don't want," he said.

She passed him the cookie. "Thanks." He took a bite that was almost half the cookie and that was the moment that Gerald Osset himself decided to sit down at their table and mingle. He wore emerald robes for the occasion and his salt and pepper hair was even neater than usual. James hurried to swallow, nearly choking on crumbs so he could say "Hi, Gerald. How're you?"

"Splendid, splendid," he smiled. "And yourselves?"

"Great," smiled Raigan. "The party is lovely, thank you."

"Of course," he said. "And how's Miss Piper?"

"I drew a snowman who looked at the sun by accident," she answered, showing him her napkin.

Professor Osset chuckled. "Oh dear," he said. "Better get him some sunglasses."

"I already said I don't know how to draw those," she scoffed as though everyone was supposed to have been listening to their conversation.

"Piper," said Raigan, warningly, but Professor Osset always thought Piper was a laugh. As he'd once put it, he "admired her spunk" and said that would make for a creative witch someday. Piper put down the napkin and resumed adding snowflakes above the heads of all her snowpeople.

"Remind me how old you are?" he asked.

Piper stopped drawing at once. This was one of her favorite questions. "Seven," she said. "But I'll be seven and a half next month."

"Just a few more years and you'll be old enough for Hogwarts," he said. Piper nodded proudly.

"I've already started showing magic," she said. "Like this one time at my muggle school, we were playing tag outside and I really didn't want to be caught so I wouldn't have to be it, and I got really close to the tagger and then all the sudden I was across the playground and I didn't even know how I got there!"

"Magic, I presume," answered Professor Osset with a kind smile.

"I know," said Piper. "It was great." She turned her attention back to her snowflakes.

"Well I'd better keep moving," he said, starting to stand. "Really is wonderful to have a young one around here, isn't it? Keeps things relevant."

"Good to talk to you," said James, anxious to get back to his cookie.

When the headmaster had gone, James reached for his champagne glass. "God, he makes me nervous," he muttered.

"I don't know why," said Raigan through a yawn. "He's always so friendly."

"Sure," said James. "And my boss."

"What time is it, do you know?" asked Raigan, yawning again.

James shook back the sleeve of his robes to check his watch. "Quarter past ten," he said.

"No wonder," said Raigan. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "We'd better get you to bed soon, sweetheart."

"No Mum, it's a party, we're supposed to stay up late. And look the music people just came back."

She pointed at the small jazz band who had been on a short break for refreshments, but had just taken up their instruments again. They started off with a rendition of the ever-popular "Nothing So Magic Like Christmas."

"Yes well, we've got to get up early and get everything packed up tomorrow morning so we can head home. We've barely started," said Raigan. "Five more minutes alright?"

"Half an hour?" pleaded Piper. "I want to dance." There was not really a dance floor, nor was anyone else dancing, but James knew she was recalling when all the Hogwarts faculty had been invited to attend the ball when Durmstrang had held the Triwizard Tournament the previous year and he had spent most of the evening dancing with her. Raigan had been caught up most of the evening with a member of the Czechoslovakian Ministry of Magic who was assisting with the tournament and was quite taken with Raigan. He barely spoke a word of English but spent most of the evening trying to convince that all she really wanted to do in the world was kiss him, a fact she adamantly denied. James still occasionally teased her about it, asking whether or not she'd heard from Andel lately.

His evening had much better than hers. He'd had the cutest date around. Piper had been a huge hit with the students.

Chewing on her lip, Raigan looked at James to check if Piper's plan for a repeat event was alright and he mouthed, "Up to you. Don't care."

"Fifteen minutes," Raigan compromised.

"Twenty," said Piper.

"Don't push it."

Piper slid off James lap, her dress all discombobulated. He reached out to fix it before he stood and took her by the hand. They headed for a fairly open bit of space in front of the musicians and Piper said, "Spin me."

James could already feel his arm muscles atrophying - this was, he sure, the first of probably three hundred times he would lift and spin her in the next quarter of an hour. She giggled madly and, as expectedly, demanded an immediate repeat.

James spun her a dozen more times before the dizziness started to catch up to him, so when he slowed again, he didn't put her down, but situated her on his hip. She was almost too big to be carried this way, especially as she seemed to be growing taller by the day - though no less gangly - but he wasn't ready to let go of that yet. James figured he'd carry her as long as she would let him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, tight, and he swayed side to side with her. "You look very nice tonight, Pipe. Red looks good on you."

She smiled. Sometimes James couldn't believe how much she was starting to look like Raigan, from the shape of her brown eyes to the exact shade of her hair to the curve of her nose. The older she got, the more he noticed it.

She started to slip and he hoisted her back up. Piper tipped her head onto his shoulder and he smoothed his hand over her back. "Getting sleepy?" he asked.

"A little," she admitted.

"Me too," lied James. "It's pretty late."

He thought he would probably stay awhile after she and Raigan went downstairs, but he knew better than to say so.

"We have fifteen minutes though," said Piper.

"Well," he laughed. "Probably just three or four now."

"Oh," she said. "Right."

They fell quiet and he felt her grip on him loosen.

James continued to circle around with her for another minute or so until he caught Raigan's eye. She smiled at him, head tipped to one side, and he carried Piper back over the table. Raigan had been joined by Professors Munslow and Poke who both went quiet as he made his way over. Piper, despite her insistence on staying up late, had nearly fallen asleep already.

Carefully, James lowered himself back into his chair. "Bout time for bed, Pipe," he said quietly, brushing her hair out of her face. "Why don't you go down with Mum."

"Okay," she said. Her arms slipped away from his neck and she started to sit up.

"Pipe," he said. She looked at him, her eyes heavy. It amazed him how fast a kid could crash. "Thanks for dancing with me."

She smiled a little and nodded. He leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. "Love you, girly. Get some good rest, okay?"

"Love you too," she said. He circled his hand over her back one last time and she slid away to go with Raigan. James stood to say goodnight to her too. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"Come over whenever you finish grading those last couple papers tomorrow alright? We'll probably be back by mid-afternoon."

"I will," said James. He let her go and watched the two of them go as Matilda Skiffins joined the table.

6.

October 2015

James strolled into the hospital wing after his final class on Wednesday afternoon to find Raigan busy with a student who'd sprouted antlers as the result of an illicit corridor duel. Halfway down the ward, Piper was sprawled out on her stomach on the floor beside her mum's desk working on a set of long division equations. She had laid a blanket out on the tile which he imagined was only marginally more comfortable than the floor on its own. "Hey Pipe," he said, crouching down next to her to get a better look at her work. "What're you up to?"

"Homework," she said, barely glancing up at him.

"Good girl," said James, standing up again as Raigan approached her desk.

"Hi," she said. "How was your day?" She looked absolutely exhausted. There had been a minor dragon pox outbreak - no one quite knew how it had gotten started, but it had been nasty to treat - and then Piper had picked up a cold at school and though things were dying down again and everyone was back to health, she'd been running herself ragged trying to keep up with it all and it seemed to have caught up to her.

"Pretty standard," said James. "Just wrapped up shield charms with my fourth years. How was yours?"

She glanced at the antlered boy behind them, a fifth year named Richie. "Well," she said, voice low, "that happened if that's any indication."

James smiled, trying to hold back a laugh that probably would have been rude in present company.

"Come're a second," said Raigan, heading for her office door. James followed her inside and she shut the door behind them. She picked up a butterfly patterned folder from on top of Piper's lilac backpack and shuffled through the paper's that had come home that day until she found a small spiral bound book with a laminated construction paper cover titled "My Family" by Piper Swenson.

She handed it to him and said, "It made me cry, so get ready."

James opened to the first page where, under the pre-typed heading, "My Mum," Piper had written a very sweet couple of paragraphs about her relationship with her mum and all the things she was grateful for. James could understand why Raigan had cried already, but turning to the next page, he really got it.

Under "My Dad," Piper had written a list of all the things she knew about Dawson and all the ways she had been told she was like him. James slipped his arm around Raigan's waist as he looked it over, and though she put her own hand on his back, she said, "Keep going. You're not at the part I wanted you to see yet."

James adjusted his grip on the book so he could turn the page with one hand. He smiled. The next pages was titled "My Sisters and Brothers," but Piper had crossed it out and written "James."

James stomach turned over at the first sentence: I know James because he is my mum's best friend and he has always been around, but now he is my best friend too. I'm happy he is a part of my family because he always plays with me and makes me laugh. In the summer, James takes me out for ice cream every Sunday and he lets me get whatever flavor I want. We also play -

(there was a very large scribble here, blacking out a word that James could only assume was Quidditch)

-sports together and he helps me practice so when I get older maybe I can be on the school team.

My funniest story about James and I was when we went to a candy store and my lollipop got stuck in my hair!! James tried to get it out but it just got more stuck and so he -

(there was another vigorous scribble here that he assumed was a description of the unsticking charm he had used)

-had to bring me home to my mum with the lollipop still in my hair so she could cut it out. He bought me a new one since I could not even eat the first with all that hair on it!! That was a super funny day and James said he would put my hair in timeout for trying to steal my lollipop. He said, "That is Piper's! Not yours, silly hair!" Like I said, James always makes me laugh.

My favorite thing about James is that he is a good listener and he always pays attention even though you are a kid when most other grown-ups get distracted and do not really listen. He always cares about what I want to tell him and that is why he is my friend. I like when he tells me things too, like stories about his students because he is a teacher.

I love James and he is one of my family members even though he is not actually in my family.

Raigan's eyes were wet when James looked at her again. "Doesn't that just make you want to cry?" she asked. James nodded. He loved everything about it, right down to her oddly precise way of writing with no contractions whatsoever.

"She's getting to be a real sweetheart," he said.

"I know," said Raigan, wiping under eyes. "She's really growing up." She took a deep breath to pull herself together and said, "Don't mention it to her, alright? I don't want her to get embarrassed about it."

James pulled Raigan into a tight hug and said. "Got it." He couldn't help thinking that Raigan had been so touched by this particular page, because Piper had not only written about James and herself, but about Dawson. Seeing him listed under "dad" must have been a comfort to her.

Back out in the main ward, James sat himself on the floor with Piper under the pretext of checking her math problems. "Can't believe you're doing big kid stuff like this already, Miss Year Five."

She smiled. "I like math," she said.

"Maybe you'll get into arithmancy," he said, reaching out to fix a piece of hair that had come out of her braid.

"No, I want to be good at Defense Against the Darks Arts like you," she said, writing in the last answer on her worksheet - seven remainder three.

"Or you could be good at both," James suggested.

She considered this, looking skeptical and then said, "Okay."

James laughed and leaned over to kiss her on the top of her head. God, he loved her.

---

Feeling so small, but I need to grow,

I'm gonna pull up my sleeves and stand on my toes.

I've never been wise enough or tough enough

For this daunting place we call home.

I'm just a child so...

-"Child," Natalie Holmes

---

7.

August 31, 2017

On the night before Piper was due to start at Hogwarts, James was busy finishing up his last minute packing in the guest bedroom at Raigan's house. It was a bigger process than it seemed since he things were spread across here, his apartment, and his room at the school and he could never remember what was where.

He'd just decided he had things pretty well under control when he heard a knock on the door. He frowned and crossed the room to open it. Piper stood outside, wearing a pair of purple pajama shorts and a tie dyed t-shirt from her primary school.

"Hey Pipe," he said. "I thought you were in bed."

"I was," she said.

"What's up then? You need something?"

Piper glanced down the hallway towards her mum's door, safely closed, and then took a few steps into the room and sat down criss cross applesauce on the edge of the bed. James dropped the lesson planner he'd been holding into his trunk and sat down next to her. "What's going on, girly? You okay?"

"I was just thinking what if I'm not in Ravenclaw like you and Mum?"

"Piper," said James, surprised. "No one's expecting you to be in Ravenclaw. We don't care what house you're in."

"Yeah, but what if I'm not? What if I get Slytherin or something?"

"So what?" asked James. "Slytherin's not a bad house. There isn't a bad house."

Piper did not look convinced.

"Look," he said. "Your mum and I talk about Ravenclaw a lot because it's what happens to you when you got to Hogwarts. From the very moment that you get sorted, you decided your house must be the best house and no one can convince you otherwise. You'll see. Obviously I'd be thrilled if you were in Ravenclaw, because I loved it, but Piper, I don't know a single student - and I've seen a lot of students in the last ten years - but I don't know of a single one that didn't love Hogwarts and love their house. You'll be put where you're supposed to be and whatever that is, you're going to have a great experience and make great friends and your mum and I will be so proud of you, Ravenclaw or not. It doesn't matter to me a bit."

Piper still looked skeptical so James pulled her into a hug and said. "For the record, if you're worried about it, I really doubt you'll be in Slytherin."

She forced a small laugh and he smoothed his hand up and down her back. "Don't worry about it, Piper. Whatever the sorting hat says will be perfect you," he said. "You've just gotta trust that it knows what it's doing."

"Okay," she said.

"Get back to bed, alright? You've got a big day."

Piper hesitated before she let go. "G'night," she said.

"Night," James smiled. He squeezed her shoulder and she stood up to go. Before she got to the door he said, "Pipe," and she turned around. "Promise me you're not gonna be too cool to talk to me anymore now that you're a student."

She laughed, a real one this time. "Promise," she said.

"Good," he said. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

---

When Professor Munslow called Piper's name at the Sorting the following evening, Raigan grabbed James hand under the table. "I'm so nervous," she whispered, eyes on Piper, pushing her way through the people lined up in front to get to the stool.

Piper made eye contact with him on her way up, her face white as the ghosts gathered all around the Great Hall. He gave her an encouraging nod, squeezed Raigan's hand, and said, "She'll be fine. It doesn't matter what house she's in."

"I know," whispered Raigan. "I just want her to be happy."

With the hat hanging low over her eyes, James watched the back of Piper's head, her slightly slouchy posture - she'd already acquired tall-girl-syndrome - and her feet, crossed at the ankles and tapping rapidly on the floor.

She sat there for maybe fifteen seconds before the hat roared, "GRYFFINDOR!" The entire Gryffindor table was on its feet before Piper had even gotten the hat off her head, and even across the rest of the room, the applause was tumultuous. Piper turned back to James and her mum one more time looking a little embarrassed, but when James grinned and gave her a thumbs up, she relaxed and went to join her table with her usual spunk restored.

Next to him, Raigan looked close to bursting into tears, but she held it together, and said. "I knew it. Just like her dad. I always told Dawson he would've been a Gryffindor if he'd gone to Hogwarts."