"Okay, go over all the guys you made out with last night." Jiro commanded that night as he sat on their cheap, third hand couch, watching movies on his laptop, which was propped up on the coffee table they had found in spring cleanup.
"I don't want to." Bakugou sighed.
"Why not? It's important to know who you're meant to be with for the rest of your life."
"I'm not a "rest of your life" kind of guy."
"What if your soul mate is? What if he's freaking out right now because he doesn't know if he'll ever see you again?"
"That's his problem. Not mine."
"So tell me about them as a friend who's curious about your sex life." Jiro sat down on the floor. "Tell me about the latest Bakugou slut adventures."
"There was the usual bunch of guys, you know. My type."
"Heavy eyeliner and leather pants...lots of black...?" Jiro recalled.
"Yeah." Bakugou nodded. "And then there was that one other guy..."
"Other guy?"
"Yeah. Stupid hair...kind of a muscle head...definitely not the type I go for."
"Was he ripped?"
"Probably. He was wearing clothes the whole time."
"You didn't go all the way with this one?"
"Nah. Just sucked him off in the bathroom."
"Geez. You're the biggest hoe I've ever met."
"It's a hobby."
"Do you have plans for tonight?"
"Just writing this paper for class tomorrow."
"You're watching a movie."
"I'm writing it after the movie is done."
"Why don't you finish it up now and come out clubbing with us later."
"I don't club on school nights."
"God, you're such a nerd. You act all tough but you're actually a goodie two shoes."
"I'm not. I made out with six guys yesterday and I drive a motorcycle. I'm badass."
"You're a nerd. We'd have more fun clubbing without you."
"Then go have fun, dumbass. And wear that purple dress with those ripped tights of yours."
"Why?"
"Trust me. My parents are fashion designers."
"Your parents should have left you at the first fire station they saw."
"Firemen aren't my type."
"Not being your type didn't stop you last night. And now you've met your soul mate, so it all turned out good."
"It wasn't the dumbass."
"Then why do you have a dumbbell on your wrist instead of Gerard Way?"
"Uhhh..." Bakugou was speechless, his soul mate COULDN'T be that dumb redhead. Being with him would be so...wrong. They probably had nothing in common. He probably watched sports and spent too much time at the gym. He probably never had anything interesting to talk about. Bakugou couldn't see himself spending his life with ANYBODY, let alone that guy.
"Maybe it's a fluke. Just a trick, you know?"
"Dude. I doubt that. The only way it could be a fluke is if you hadn't kissed anybody."
"Well, I don't believe in that shit anyway, so who cares."
"One of these days, you're going to regret not seeking him out. You know that, right?"
"I don't see how."
"You're a marked man. Nobody in the club is going to want to sleep with you as long as you have that tattoo. Eventually you're going to get lonely and decide to find him. But by then the trail will be cold. And if you do eventually find him...he already would have given up on you."
Bakugou scowled but didn't reply. There was no way what she was saying was true.
He would be fine without a soul mate.
He KNEW he would be.