'Ben!' she called out loudly. As was usual, Ben didn't answer on her first call. It was almost half past two, which meant, Ben had to be home almost forty-five minutes ago. Baseball practice ended at one.

She gathered that he might be upstairs in his room, with his ears blocked by the wretched pair of headphones that were already impairing his hearing while he wasn't plugging them to his ears.

'How many times have I-' Lisa had already started on her customary lecture of how injurious the repeated usage of such devices was to one's health, both explicitly and otherwise, without even bothering to care for his presence in the room, as she shoved the door open.

-'told you not to'- she stopped short when she realised that the only audience she had were the rock band posters Ben had decorated the walls with.

Slight panic seized her, while she hurriedly tried his cellphone.

The call went unanswered.

She debated calling Dean to search for him. Somehow, Dean would worry himself sick, and he had a terrible lot on his plate to be bothered with right then. So, she chose to oppose her persistent instinct of involving Dean into this.

She tried Ben's cell again, hoping against hope that this time, her call would have the privilege of catching her son's attention. The customary ring resumed while her hypersensitive ears began scanning the immediate surroundings to detect the tiniest evidence of Ben's arrival.

CLACK!

Lisa thought she'd heard the sound of the doorknob being turned. She tried to strain herself a tad bit more to reconfirm when-

-CLACK!- 

came the noise for a second time and this time a cacophony of two male voices succeeded the sound of the doorknob.

'Didn't I tell you, Ben?-' she heard from upstairs, -'Always watch the sides. Always.'

'Yeah, yeah I see what you mean.' Ben was saying while the two high-fived.

'Dean?' Lisa called out while she began descending the stairs, evident relief written all over her face.

'Hey mom!' - Ben exclaimed chirpily as he saw her, -'Dean came by to pick me up from baseball practice!' he said happily, while Dean patted him on his back.

Lisa somehow, couldn't help noticing the happiness that reflected itself on their faces. Clearly, Dean had taken him for a slight ice-cream treat, or, maybe the two had been busying themselves with a detailed discussion of "Shark Week" or baseball and had hence lost track of time. So she didn't bother to ask for an explanation.

'So champ'- Dean said, -why don't you freshen up and help mom with the dishes for lunch?'

Ben nodded and left.

'Man, I'm starving!' Dean blurted as he flumped himself on the sofa, while Lisa watched him do so.

' Dean?' she said, while he made himself comfortable.

'Yeah!' came the obvious nonchalant reply while he fidgeted around for the remote.

'Thank you.' he thought he'd heard her say.

That made him assume a gait of seriousness in his demeanour.

'What for?' he asked puzzled, completely forgetting the quest for the remote.

' Ben.' she said.

A slight silence followed. Lisa knew that she didn't really have to thank Dean -of all people- to do what he did for Ben. For Dean was the much-needed paternal likeness that Ben had.

'I think you need not say this, Lisa.' his deep voice answered. 'You make me feel like,-' Dean couldn't really bring himself to complete his sentence.

-'No!'- she broke in. 'Never! I was just-'

-'Being grateful for this.' Dean finished it for her.

Something inside Lisa twitched uncomfortably. 

Of course, she was grateful for what he did for them. But, Dean's melancholic tone of acknowledgement in response to her statement of gratitude wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Dean turned away from her, after Ben came. The rest of the afternoon passed in silence. Silence between the two of them, that is. Dean and Ben engaged themselves with all the sports and 'Shark Week' talk they could think of.

She didn't initiate a conversation with him on purpose. Perhaps, the silence would allow him to settle, and get it out of his system.

Somehow, some formalities were excesses in a relationship, she concurred.

***

Dean busied himself with the Impala he had stowed away in the garage.

His 'Baby'.

One that had borne as many scars as he had.

Very softly, he ran his fingers on a particular place on the door.

Those scratches were perchance, the most beautiful decoration that it had.

Their initials, that they had carved with their own hands when he was ten, and Sam was six.

Dean softly caressed Sam's initials. They felt like,-

-Sam. His brother Sammy, in flesh and blood.

His green eyes blurred themselves of their vision.

He would NOT cry.

That would belittle his brother's deed.

Sam had gone to hell averting the apocalypse. He had saved the world.

And with him, Adam had gone too, because he had refused to be Michael's vessel.

A sharp pain tore through him, far worse than the ones he had endured when he had been to hell himself. Sam had been fighting with him all along. But Adam-

-Adam had been unduly victimized by a very unfortunate turn of events. Adam, who had not known any of this. He didn't even know what they were. John Winchester hadn't been half the father to Dean and Sam, that he had been to Adam. Not that Dean minded. He knew full well that he didn't have the luxury to be the 'ideal Dad' to them. Sam had run away at the first chance. Harvard was his escape. But then, fate had reinforced itself when John went missing.

Sam had a Hunter's life written for him. He had been a part of it ever since their mother had died, with her blood dropping away on him, when he was a baby. That destiny had cemented itself, when Jessica had died in the same way.

But Adam?

What about him?

Adam had been to road trips with John, and road trips that weren't meant for hunting paranormal monsters and exorcising demons. They were perfect road trips that normal dads had with their normal children.

They had been to baseball matches like-

-He had been this morning with Ben.

His thoughts were now treading into familiar territory as they strayed into what he was and what he wanted to be.

Lisa and Ben were just what he needed to be the man he desperately wanted to be. He wanted to come back to a smiling Lisa spreading her arms out to hug him. He wanted to high-high-five with Ben when he won a baseball match.

But a Hunter's life wasn't meant to be a dad, or a companion.

He wasn't cut out to be any of those.

All he was cut out for was killing monsters. 

THAT was him.

THAT WAS ALL A WINCHESTER WAS MADE FOR.

His thoughts had murked into a grim introspection of what he was. Maybe, that's why Sam had wanted him to find Lisa, before he got trapped in Hell with Adam.

Suddenly, he thought he'd heard someone calling him, that familiar, blissfully normal voice, effortlessly stealing his disturbances away.

***

'Dean?', that voice reconfirmed its presence.

He slightly tilted his head to find Lisa standing there in the garage, a very unlikely sight.

Yet, he felt grateful.

'I got you pie.' she stepped towards him, beaming.

'Ah! Lifesaver!' Dean beamed back, his breathtaking green eyes twinkling slightly.

Lisa detected a bit of his melancholy retaining itself in his demeanour. After all, she was here to patch things up with him. Not that he was visibly angry or anything, but he was certainly disconcerted with the small 'Thanks' she had uttered.

At least, she thought so. Though she did have a second opinion about his sadness being caused by Sam's tragedy. She just took the afternoon's event to be an addition to that. If she couldn't help him out, at least she could make things easier for him by not adding that hint of formality in her behaviour, she inferred.

'Look Dean, I-' she began.

'If you're here for formality round two, you might as well leave,'- Dean spoke simply -'and take the pie along.'

He took a deep breath and turned away, only to notice that Lisa's face had fallen.

Maybe, he had been a bit too harsh. Lisa getting distressed while he was right there, was the last thing he wanted. After all, she was his only source of a much-needed serenity.

'I'm sorry! I just'- he trailed off.

-'I know. Just don't say sorry, Dean.' she gave him a soft reassurance of a smile.

'We really do have a lot of sorry stuff brewing between us.' Dean snorted.

'And that,'- she emphasized, 'needs a bit of sorting out. '

Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

She smiled in reciprocation, and with such a warmth, that Dean had to melt.

Yet, not making it too evident, he slightly faced himself away from her.

'Dean,'- she spoke again, -'Please, I need you to talk to me.'

That is exactly what he needed, to talk. To talk his heart out and watch her listen.

Yet, his Hunter-instinct kept him from unburdening himself. Hunters were supposed to be an eternal mess. Their messes were not to be sorted. They were not entitled the luxury to lighten themselves up to a bit of emotional stability.

'It is fine if you don't want to talk.' she spoke. Dean caught the hint of dismay therein, indecisive if he was imagining thus.

'Lisa, I just-' he shrugged once more, '-I don't even know what to talk of.'

'Anything that might be on your mind.' she said. 'That one thanks isn't certainly that big to make you cuddle the Impala.'

Dean's lips stretched on to a very melancholic, yet relieved smile. 

How perceptive she is, he thought.

Maybe he could talk. True, his thoughts wouldn't stop perturbing him anytime soon. True, they would never leave him, now that they were as significant in his being as the very air he breathed, yet, at least, he could allow himself a breath of fresh air, every one in a while, given their rarity in his life.

'There is too much of a mess,'- he began, -'too much, Lisa.'

'Can I help you sort them out?' knowing she couldn't.

'No. You can't. No one can.' came the evident consequence of the answer.

'I am a walking mess of messes, Lisa, which one do you think you can sort out? Sammy,'- he stopped, Lisa took a deep, sharp breath.

'It wasn't your fault.'

'I should have been there, with him.'- he spoke, his voice rising. -'And I've been in there once! The kind of crap that happen to you down there, the ways in which they rip you apart, every single second, it's -' he broke off abruptly.

There was an awkward silence between them. A tear crept into Lisa's eyes.

'All I'm saying is, it hurts!' Dean spoke again. 'It hurts worse than death. And I don't know what shape he'll be in once he's out of there.'

'He's your brother, Dean.' she said. 'He is a fighter, like you are.'

She was looking straight into his eyes while she'd said this. She moved closer to him, trying to feel their emerald depths. They had witnessed so much for a single lifetime. So very much. When she'd met him before Ben's birth, all she'd had known about him ended with that weekend. And then, when she'd met him again, when Ben had been taken away by a changeling, only then, had she known what he was.

And realised what she'd felt for him, when he'd saved Ben and the other children.

That was him. Dean Winchester. Strong and brave. A warrior to the core.

Her dark eyes scanned his cheeks that had been hardened.

Did they not clamour for a little softness?

Her palms mapped them, how parched were they , longing for a little touch of tenderness. 

That touch might not heal the scars that had been brought upon them, but couldn't they at least be soothed.

'You're magnificent. ' she whispered before merging her lips with his. 

He responded, as his strong, muscular arms, ensconced her in themselves. She felt his heart beating steadily against hers.

How relieving is that, she thought.

They kissed deeply for quite sometime, as he felt her warmth seeping into him, straightening a lot of creases he had. They would reappear in due course, but they deserved being straightened, even if that was momentary.

They drew apart after he pressed two small kisses on her lips, like a signature.

'I'm broken, Lisa. ' he said softly, his arms still around her. 'I'm broken beyond repair. And I'll be broken again. It is not for me to be whole. '

'Broken, but beautiful. ' she said. 'You're everything I've ever wanted. You're everything I've ever needed to live. You're what Ben would want for a father. You're everything to me. To-'

'I love you, Lisa Braeden.'

'Me too, Dean Winchester.'

They laughed , relieved.

'And this is why,'- Dean began, pulling her even closer, -'those 'Thank You's need to stop.'

Lisa laughed once more.

'Point taken, Judge Winchester. '

She knew, that this wasn't something that would last forever, as he took the first bit of his pie. He wouldn't remain with her after a time, because the life that he had, -he really had- was beyond this. His life of a Hunter was far greater, far more dangerous, far higher. That was what he was, what he wanted to be.

Dean would leave, but at least, he could have one memory to be fond of.

Didn't he deserve that? Was that too much of a luxury for a Hunter?

***

Note:

1. The image above is not mine. It has been made by

capturingdeanwinchester.tumblr.com 

2. This is my first ever "Supernatural" fanfiction. I hope I don't suck! :) THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR READING!!!!! <33333333