What the hell just happened?

He thought he was finally going to do the things he dreamed about with Nova. When he was younger, he thought of being with her, but it was never about sex. He wanted more than sex from her. Things got messy when she asked what she asked that day. He would have stayed happy being her friend and never acting on those feelings.

Things were different now. He had a glimpse of what it felt like to be with her. Nova was gorgeous, and innocent, but had some sex energy about her that he liked. Maybe something she developed over the years because she sure as hell was not a sex kitten like she was today.

He rubbed his lips remembering her kisses, the way she touched him, how quickly she ripped off his shirt. She was skilled in the sex game for sure now. Someone had gotten to her and taught her all the things he could have.

Many women in his lifetime, still, none held a candle to his November.

Those kisses, her soft moans when he touched her, echoed in his brain as he made his way back home. He should be with her now, in bed, tasting her, making her scream, pleasuring every inch of her body.

What now?

He made it to his place, tossed his ring of keys on the hallway table, and made his way to sit on his white couch and listen to the quietness around him. That's how he liked things. Better to think and motivate him in his craft. Singing and acting. The calm. To get into character or to get into a mood for a nice song.

But the quietness was not working for him today. All his thoughts back to the way November's kisses felt, her hands all over his bare chest. The way her small body felt next to his. The way he wanted to do those things and more over and over to her.

He walked over to his white baby grand piano and sat. He rarely ever played the thing; he grew up playing piano for so many years he kind of hated it. His finger gently touched over the keys, unmotivated.

Nova used to love hearing him play.

It was not cool to be a scrawny half-white kid playing the piano when he was in high school. Where they were from, you had to be tough and about that street life. Roosevelt High School in South St. Louis, while very diverse in student body, but not so diverse attitudes. He and Nova lived in north St Louis and caught the Metro bus every day to get to school. Walnut Park neighborhood, where you were lucky to make it out alive.

Unlike his baby sister. When they first were a happy family, he, his sister, mother, and father seemed to have it all. The American dream they seemed to be. Both of his parents worked decent jobs and owned a nice house on one of the state streets, Wyoming. Money was never their issue as a family. He and his sister had everything they wanted, both spoiled. He loved both his parents and did not prefer one over the other.

Then when he was in middle school, the glass shattered. His parents announced they were getting a divorce and it happened so fast he had no time to process it. But even as a kid, he should have seen it coming. His father was never the committed type of guy and had other women while married.

His father married his mother, a white woman, thinking she would tolerate it, but she kicked him out of the house after many excuses. Once his father found a new place, he wanted to live with him instead of his mother, and his mother allowed that. So he grew up with his father and his womanizing ways to look up to. Their home was a bachelor's pad and he loved it.

His sister, Davina, stayed with their mother and probably had a better, intuitive upbringing because of it. He knew that now, but back then, of course, he wanted the freedom to do whatever. Davina always the over-achiever, an honor roll kid who would rather stay inside than run the streets.

Davina was still living in St. Louis, finishing up law school right now. If he wanted to figure out what Nova was doing since he had been gone, that was a good place to start.

"Sissy," he greeted her after she accepted his Facetime call. He could tell she was in her apartment probably studying away for the bar exam. Her sandy blonde, thick mass of curls up in a messy bun, glasses on, a t-shirt on that looked like her pajama top. His sister was pretty when she wanted to be, but right now she looked like a scrub.

"Don't call me that! I am a grown woman."

"Barely," he said with a chuckle, striking another key on the piano. Hearing music sometimes soothed him and right now he was a bundle of nerves.

"You're only a year and a half older than me, stupid ass."

"Miss you." He knew he would have to sweet talk to his little sister. Back when they were younger, Davina followed him around all the time. He found it annoying then, but he was always protective of her when they were older.

"Is that why you never step foot in St. Louis?"

The reason for that meant nothing anymore.

"Guess who I ran into here in Atlanta of all places? November Washington."

"Ooooo! The girl that got away."

"Shut up!" He let out a heavy sigh, stood, and walked away from the piano. Still looking at the phone and at his sister, he lied right to her face. "We were just friends."

"Friends that obviously needed to be more. I can tell by the way you are sounding, you and Nova picked things up where you left off."

He never told Davina about that night with Nova, alone in her room, her trying to get him to deflower her. He had not told a soul. The few friends he had in high school other than Nova, all drifted apart except for updates on Facebook or Instagram. Unlike Davina who probably kept in touch physically with everyone from her class and the other classes she was cool with, and Davina was cool with everyone.

"I have no clue what you are talking about. But I do know she is working at our old high school, teaching there."

"Yeah, so."

He gave his sister a stare and added a blink of his eyes. "You knew about that?"

"Of course I knew, duh. Boy pay attention. I mentor some students there while I was in Outreach in law school and-"

"I didn't ask your whole life story! How could you have known where Nova's been and not tell me? I thought she was still in New York. You knew I would want to know." He could not believe his sister held out on him. He could have fixed things with Nova years ago.

Davina pulled the phone back, giving him the stare, which meant she was pissed off, but he did not care. "First off, who the fuck you think you're talking to, brother? I ain't the one."

His sister, while exceptionally smart and slightly bougie, knew how to get real hood when she needed to. She could code-switch several times in a conversation and give you a lawyer voice, street kid, Black-African-Princess, and hood rat at the bat of an eye. And don't even try to argue with her. She was keen on going for the kill.

"Sorry I raised my voice sissy, my bad. Sorry."

He went into his kitchen and grabbed a cold beer, cracked it open, and chugged it down while his sister railed into him.

"And why the fuck would I tell you about her when she is out here living her best life without you? Your egotistical ass, thinks your looks and your dick get you anything you want, while you run wild with all the ladies in Hollywood and beyond and probably have five or six STDs, ain't nobody got time for that."

He had no words for his sister. Whatever else he said she would just use it to go in on him again. He finished the beer, crushed the can, and tossed it in the recycling bin. He had to pour on the charm again with his sister.

"I said sorry."

"Why the hell are you even worried about what Nova is doing anyway? Do you think she needs you in her life after all these years? Fuck! Leave the girl alone."

He could not do that. He would not do that.

"You have other messes here you need to worry about."

When his sister said that, he knew exactly what she was talking about, but he was not here for that, not today.

"I miss Nova. Seeing her, I...I don't know. It dredged up all those feelings for her. I was calling to see if you could suggest to me what to do."

"It's not going to be the answer you want to hear."

He had to go back home to St. Louis.