Chapter Thirty-Three

Marienne's trying not to cry.

Dad's got tears in his eyes and he keeps sucking in deep breaths each time he loads another one of our bags into the backseat of our car out front.

I'm trying not to cry as I give Marienne one last big, perfumey hug. But I fail. I leave a blubbery mess on her nice, crisp linen shirt.

And Daniel's only crying by her side because he didn't get the last waffle at breakfast this morning and dad's not made any promises about stopping off at the diner on the PCH we're due to pass on our way back to Walnut Creek.

Walnut Creek. Urgh.

Calling it home feels too painful. Why call it that when it feels anything but?

I know that Sunset Cove is the only place for me. It's where I should've grown up. It's where I should have made all my memories, not just for the summers.

It's where I belong. But now I'm leaving it again.

Trying not to cry seems completely futile when I think about that. So I just let it out. At least Boyd's not here to see me wipe snot onto the hem of my t-shirt sleeve.

"He said he'd be back for ten," Marienne says, swallowing hard. "I know he wouldn't miss the chance to say goodbye, Sydney."

Daniel cries harder. "I want to say goodbye to Boyd. He promised he'd sign my t-shirt." He pinches the fabric of a new, white tee with the red rose insignia on the back. "He promised."

"He'll be back," I say, because I know he will. Boyd's been good at keeping promises lately. Like our skate 'hang' the day after the Skate Jam. He wasn't late, in fact he was up the earliest I'd ever seen him. We skated all day. It felt great.

He also kept his promise and apologised to Tiffany for being a total douchebag. I know so because Taylor told me that the sad songs have finally stopped being played in Casa Grayson at all hours.

When the sound of the back yard gate swinging shut echoes through the hallway, I know I was right not to worry. Because Boyd, though still the same in many, often frustrating ways, has at least made some changes for the better.

Daniel and I race to get to him first, slip-sliding across the wooden decking.

"Woah there!" Boyd puts his hands out as we slide right into each other.

"Boyd! Boyd! Sign my shirt." Daniel gives me a sharp dig in the ribs and I relent stepping back. "Please!"

Boyd's eyes roll hard at me but then he smiles. "Sure buddy." Turning around, Daniel let's Boyd scrawl a signature across the top of the t-shirt.

"This is so awesome," Daniel giggles.

"Now, if you keep it in good condition, you might be able to sell it later on and pay for your college tuition," Boyd says, serious to Daniel but obviously joking. No matter, Daniel is as pleased as punch and jumps in the air.

"You're the best Boyd! My friend Tandy is going to, like, be soooooooooo mega jealous."

"Why wouldn't he? Now, can you give me and your sister a couple minutes to say goodbye?"

Daniel nods like his head might fall off. He doesn't even say goodbye, just runs back into the cottage in full-on glee mode.

"You made his life," I say, laughing because it masks the tears I feel rise up in my throat.

"Sorry I'm late," Boyd switches the subject and turns on the lights in the pool room. The bed is unmade and there are boxers and boxes and skate magazines scattered across the floor, and it stinks of pot. So I guess some things will never change.

I lean against the inside of the door and shrug. "It's fine. I knew you wouldn't miss this."

Boyd nods. He looks...almost teary himself. But he shakes his hair and then his lazy smile returns. "I was on Main Street trying to get this." He digs in his backpack and pulls out a double-page spread, like a newspaper article.

"What is it?" I scan the pages and the pictures. I recognise the bowl and Boyd skating it, but then lower down there's another picture. It's way smaller. You can just about make out my silhouette and board but it's definitely me.

"Yeah that's you Syd. Being a total badass." Boyd holds the page up as I press my nose against the picture, still shocked. "They caught you mid-flip. Look."

"Is this from the paper?" I ask.

He traces the header and the Sunset Cove Chronicle title without telling me I'm being completely dumb. "A friend of the family works there. I got an advance copy before it comes out tomorrow. Wanted you to see it before you-"

I look down at the floor too. The lump in my throat growing. "Before I go, I know. It sucks."

It really sucks. Time is slipping by faster than sand through my fingers. Like a slushie left out in the sun too long. It's dissolving all too soon.

"They did a small story about your girls only team. Your friend got a quote in it." Boyd traces his finger along a small line and I read it out loud.

"We just want to skate the bowl without feeling like we don't belong. Because we do. And there's no stopping us now," I say, hearing Frankie's voice echo loud and proud in my head. "Wow. Frankie is gonna freak, that's so cool."

"And they used your picture because you had the raddest skate of the day."

"No way."

Boyd raises a bushy eyebrow at me. "Stop being so modest, Syd."

I stare back at it some more. I did get pretty good air and nail that kickflip. "Can I keep this?"

"Oh sure. I got another copy in here. And mom will get like, a bazillion of them so we can mail them out to your dad, if you want?"

I nod and then I have to stare back at the floor, trying to keep it together. "Thank you."

Boyd steps closer and joins me against the door. "Will I see you next summer? Your dad mentioned something about you wanting to visit some colleges near here, for after you graduate? Is that true?"

"I've been thinking about it a little." Only because I can't bear the thought of going any longer without coming back.

"Well, until then, don't be a stranger," he says, his voice catching. "I mean like, we can still catch up over the phone or penpals.com." I love the sound of his laughter.

"Of course."

Twisting the ends of his board short ties, he nudges my arm. "No one will forget about you, Syd. Especially not now, not after the bowl."

"I hope you're right." I think of Frankie and Taylor, and Finn with promises of not forgetting and keeping in touch and visiting, but I can't be sure. Things change quickly. I just have to hope not too quick.

When my dad calls my name out from the window of the kitchen, I know there's some things I can't avoid. The goodbyes.

"Take care of yourself," I say, nodding at his leg. "Bye, Boyd."

Boyd smiles lazily at me, swallows deep and then goes to close the door. "Catch you on the flipside, Syd."

***

We leave the Bloom cottage just as we found it: Bathed in sunlight and breezy ocean winds wiping through the front yard palms.

"Do you still want me to drop you off at the motel?" My dad asks, waiting for my nod in the rear view mirror. Again, I'm wedged between our bags. The trunk of the car full of Bloom merch and Dad's new pool cleaning gear.

When we reach the outer fence of the motel, I practically jump out. With my board tucked under arm, I tell him I'll be an hour. He agrees to pick me up from this same spot.

"Dan and I will grab some waffles at Buddies while we wait," Dad says before he leaves. I know he knows why I wanted to be dropped off here. I'm pretty sure he could see Frankie and Taylor under the arches of the old reception but he never asked any questions.

I set my board down and skate through the break in the chain-linked fence. I wave at Frankie and Taylor and they nod towards the stairwell.

It's easy to spot him even in the shadows. Finn leans against the railing of the stairwell, and we embrace just like in the movies. He holds me tight and kisses me deeply, as if trying to anchor me in his arms so I'll never go.

I tell him I don't want to go. Over and over until it hurts too much to say the words. Everytime I do, I want to cry. The lump in my throat getting stronger.

"We'll figure it out, Sydney," Finn says, holding my hand as I cling onto the fringe of his suede jacket. "This isn't the end. Especially not for us."

"Or us!" Frankie skates in and grabs her board as she comes to the step. "Don't cry, Syd. Honestly, we'll see you before you've even had chance to miss us. We're still a team!"

"I've already got my dad on lock to let me borrow his car for Thanksgiving," Taylor says, patting my shoulder in sympathy. "Road trip!"

This lifts me. I feel Finn's hand squeeze mine with the same promise and hope and the lump dissolves. This is a moment to make count. To squeeze every second I can out of it, with the people I most want to spend them with.

And just like the first time I came here, when I saw Frankie and Taylor skating over ramps and weaving their bodies and boards through cones, I take my board and join them. My heart feeling full. My eyes dazzled by sunlight and the sounds of warm laughter.

Finn grabs his board and skates along side me. The wind whipping through his fringe jacket and hair. The smile on his lips calling me round and round the parking lot, to chase the minutes and seconds left to exist loud and proud in the only place that's ever felt like home.

One I know always will be, no matter how far away I find myself.