Chapter Eighteen

We arrive at the party to find Finn sat outside on a stone wall waiting for us. The beach cottage is further than I'd anticipated, especially without my skateboard. It sits at the very end of the cove close to the looming jagged rocks which are impossible to navigate by foot.

"What time do you call this?"

Taylor lands a high five from him and sighs, "Frankie time."

Frankie shrugs, but doesn't stop long enough to let such a comment sink in. "Whatever, I like to make an effort. Come on guys, let's get this party started."

I reluctantly follow. Finn walks side by side with me and says, "I like this hair thing." His hand hovers before he asks if he can touch the curls falling over my shoulders. 'Sure."

"I like the curls," he grins as we enter round the back of the beach cottage. I feel a little unsteady on my feet not only from Finn's fingers running through my hair but from Marienne's reveal of a secret tryst with his dad back in the day. I don't think now is the right time to ask if he knows so I keep quiet.

"You drunk already Syd?" Taylor asks when we come to the large backyard, the edges softening by the sand creeping up from the beach. There's a fire pit in the middle and tiki torches and soft, jangly acoustic rock playing out all around.

I shake my head of curls. "No, why?"

"You're all...wobbly."

"She's not on her board that's why," Frankie says, her eyes searching the crowd of people gathered by the pit. "Syd might as well have been born with it fixed to her feet."

I smile at her. She's not wrong. "I'm just tired that's all." I lie. Though it's not a full lie - I do feel tired from all the secrets weighing me down.

Taylor takes a seat close to the speakers pumping out music. "How'd you get an invite here?" She asks Frankie who is busy smiling at passing groups and a girl vaping near the table for the punch bowl.

"I volunteered for this club at school with Bea. This is her parent's house," she says, casually. "Cool place right?"

Finn nods. "Cool party." He's got his suede fringe jacket on and his hair is slicked back. He looks like 50's greaser stumbled upon a Wild West Saloon.

I tap my feet to the beat of the music and nod too. It's cool so far. Not the crazed, jumping off the roof, keg-stand kind-of-party that kids at school brag about going to. Not anything like the ones I know Boyd is used to either.

Frankie taps my shoulder. "You want a drink?"

"Are you having one?" I ask, not wanting to come across as to eager. The truth is, I hardly ever party. I actually don't ever. Except for the one I tagged along to with Boyd the summer before we stopped coming to Sunset Cove. It had been wild. And terrible. He left me for the majority of the night and at one point genuinely forgot he'd ever bought me with him.

It's early yet and though I'm pretty sure tonight won't end the same way I want to go easy.

"I'll come with you," Finn says, taking Taylor's order of a rum and coke or fine - 'punch if there's nothing else'.

I feel a little desperate when they go to walk away, leaving me here with her. I rub my shoulders, feeling awkward. Finn catches my wayward gaze. He turns back.

"You want my jacket?" He offers. He thinks I'm cold.

"Oh no it's fine. I'm fine."

"Sure?"

I stop hugging my shoulders. "Sure. I don't think I could pull off such a look anyways. Not without cowboy boots to match."

Finn's megawatt grin makes me feel instantly warm all over. "Next time I'll bring them."

"Oh please do."

Taylor behind me coughs into her hand and Frankie's eyes widen as she stands perfectly still in motion, frozen until Finn stops talking to me and they can get the drinks.

"What?" I ask, feeling their eyes on us. Both tilt their heads and grin.

"Nothing," they say in unison, still grinning madly. But it's not nothing.

This feeling inside everytime I look at Finn or talk to him or share a joke. It's not nothing. It's everything.

***

Finn has gone to get drinks with Frankie. Who I really wish I could be more like. She's chatty and approachable and she doesn't smoke, unlike Taylor who sits beside on the wall near the pool. Each time she takes in a drag she side-eyes me as if to say, I know it's gross but so what?

"My mom used to smoke," I say, finding something, anything to cling onto conversation wise. "She quit after she had Daniel. Said it was the best thing she's ever done."

Taylor shakes her head at me. "Not now. I don't need a lecture, Syd. I understand what I need to do but then, so do you but you still do the opposite right?"

"Me?"

"Yeah you and that Bloom Kid." She waves the cigarette between us. "I bet he has no idea you're here tonight."

I know she knows his name is Boyd but I let it slide as I lean back to dodge the little smoke rings blown my way. "Actually, he knows I'm out tonight."

Taylor waits, then leans back too. "But not who you're here with."

She can see right through me. She knows. "It's complicated." I say, with a shrug.

"Are you two like together?"

"Oh god no. Yuck." Taylor frowns a little at me as I stammer. Am I really so transparent? Is it really so obvious? 'Our families are friends. We're just friends."

Brushing my obvious awkwardness and beetroot red face aside, she stubs out her cigarette into a small pot filled with sand.

"So what are you gonna do when summer's over?" She asks and I don't know which conversation I'd prefer. Being grilled over my feelings towards Boyd or my feelings about the future.

I feel the honesty slip out before I can think of a more neutral answer. "I've no idea."

"But something requiring the inclusion of four wheels, right?"

"That would be the dream, I guess. But it seems impossible."

"Nothing's ever really impossible, just hard."

My mouth makes a small hmmm sound as I think about this and worry that to disagree might put me further into her bad books. Thankfully, before I can dig myself any deeper Finn and Frankie come back.

"This is good," Finn says as he hands over a red solo cup to Taylor. He mouths the word 'bonding' quite clearly, but Taylor only sighs out hard.

Frankie passes me a drink with an orange wedge onto the lip of the cup. "Fruit punch." She informs me and then she's dancing backwards, her finger beckoning us to join as the music picks up and a salsa infused song stomps all over the jangly surf rock from earlier.

"I'm not much of a dancer," I say over the music. Finn starts to tap his foot and then the other, like they've a mind of their own.

"You wanna join?" He asks. I shake my head. He stands and shimmies over to Frankie. When he spins, the fringe on his jacket slaps against his back. And Finn is a good dancer. He's a little haphazard but it's fun to watch.

"Come on guys," Frankie calls out, downing her drink. She shoots Taylor a look like an army marshall might to a sulky recruit. Taylor, being that sulky recruit eventually gives in with a heavy groan. She drags her feet up and says, "If I am then so are you Syd."

I take her hand and soon we're all dancing in a weird semi-circle. Finn and Frankie throwing shapes and moves I could only dream to make and pull off. Taylor clutches her cup and sways. Her head bobbing.

"You skate and dance good too," Finn says when he slides past, pointing out his hip in time to the music. "What can't you do Syd?"

I smile at him and the way he's old-timey dancing and how Frankie is dancing like she knows everyone is watching and doesn't care one bit. She's enjoying herself too much to worry.

And soon I do too.

***

As we approach the motel, I feel as if my legs might fall off. I'm tired and danced out but happy. But also very, very tired and achy. Frankie has to hook her arm under mine to keep me from lagging behind on our walk home from the party.

"It's cool of her to let you stay at mine," Frankie says as we come to the parking lot to drop Finn off. She means Marienne. Who I called to ask if I could crash the night over at Frankie's. She said it was fine but still, Frankie took over the call in her sober tone and they chatted for a good ten minutes.

So now I'm staying the night at Frankie's for an impromptu sleepover of sorts, with Taylor reluctantly agreeing to as well.

"Marienne's pretty cool like that," I say. Finn nods and digs for his keys in his pockets.

I turn back but Frankie hasn't followed. Neither has Taylor. They idle on the other side of the chain linked fence. "Bye Finn!" They call out in unison. And I then realize I'm the only one walking Finn towards the motel steps.

"So..." I say, feeling the magnetic pull of the ocean waves and the moonlight and Finn's warm smile when he stops on the bottom step but not the confidence to make good 'goodbye' small talk.

"So tonight was fun," he says, finishing off for me. When he lifts his gaze up, his eyes catching the light and it's enough to get me mumbling. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Yeah. Cool. It was. I should probably get going now then."

"It is pretty late."

I twist my hands together feeling all kinds of awkward. "It is and I'm staying at Frankies and I don't want to keep them waiting and now your home safe it's fine to go."

Finn cocks his head aside like he's having trouble keeping up with me and all my jumbled words. "Such chivalry is much appreciated."

"Okay, well then. Great." I think about just parting with a wave but I can't move. My head is telling me to escape but my chest is heavy, as if filled with sand. I stay rooted to the spot.

"See you soon, maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Finn looks up at the stairs up to his Motel room home, then back at me. He's hesitating and I don't understand why. It's late. We're all tired. He yawned most of the walk back.

But then it all quickly falls into place. Finn leans in, his hair falling forwards as he brushes my cheek with a light kiss. I stand so still, letting it sink in. But when he pulls away, I stupidly repay such a momentous gesture with a brisk, "thanks!"

What an idiot.

"Get back safely, Sydney," he says stepping up. "Sleep well." I think he's embarrassed too because he takes the stairs two at a time and in a few short seconds he's gone.

When I reach the parking lot and the fence, I wonder if Frankie and Taylor caught all of that. And of course they did.

"If that wasn't simultaneously the cutest but most awkward thing ever, then I don't even want to know what is," Frankie says, pulling me in to lightly pinch my cheek where Finn's lips had pressed themselves into my skin and into my heart. Behind her Taylor pretends to make puking noises.

"So tell me everything," Frankie links my arm with hers and drags me along the sandy boardwalk. "What did he say before he kissed you?"

"We're not doing this," I groan. "And he only kissed me on the cheek, like as in 'goodbye'. Not like a real kiss."

"We're definitely not doing this," Taylor groans too.

Frankie frowns at us both. "Definitely not doing what?"

"Spend the rest of the evening talking about boys and kissing. Even if this boy is marginally more bearable than the rest. Even if he makes Syd go all starry eyed."

I pretend I haven't heard anything she's just said. I carry on walking, Frankie tugging on my arm like we've been best friends forever. I actually kind of like it.

"Do you like him?" She asks me directly.

"Do you like him?" I parrot back, playing it off.

Frankie rolls her eyes and picks up the pace. "She so totally does," she says to Taylor, in a sing-song voice, and I know there's not point correcting her. There isn't anything to correct. Because I totally do.