chapter thirteen. what once was ours

trying to find a piece of me you didn't take up

Katherine would never admit to anyone but after her parents died, she never thought she could be happy again. Perhaps such a feeling was expected but nevertheless, it didn't stay for long.

She glanced at the beach house, the laughter of her cousins and her aunt mingling with the salty breeze. But her attention was drawn to Susannah, who sat on a beach towel, her hair tousled by the wind, a radiant smile on her lips. To Katherine, Susannah had always been a beacon of warmth and kindness, a mother to everyone she met, a person who made Katherine feel cherished.

"Come on, Katherine!" Susannah called, her voice carrying a playful lilt. "Join me for a swim!"

Katherine hesitated for a moment, her young heart fluttering with a mix of excitement and uncertainty. She had always been a shy child, someone who preferred observing from the sidelines rather than jumping headfirst into new experiences. But something about Susannah's encouraging smile and the carefree atmosphere of the beach tempted her.

With a determined nod, Katherine let go of her hesitations and ran towards the water. The sand gave way to cool, wet grains under her feet as she waded into the shallows. She looked back at Susannah, who was now standing waist-deep in the water, waiting for her.

"Come on, sweetie, it's not that cold!" Susannah's laughter was infectious, and Katherine couldn't help but giggle in response.

Taking a deep breath, Katherine braved the waves, feeling the water envelop her in its embrace. It was a moment of vulnerability, but also of liberation. As she reached Susannah, the older woman's arms encircled her, creating a cocoon of safety.

"See, that wasn't so bad, was it?" Susannah's voice was a comforting whisper against her ear.

Katherine shook her head, her cheeks flushed with a mixture of exhilaration and happiness. She looked up at Susannah, her young eyes finding a friend, a confidante, and a source of unconditional love.

"I like it here," Katherine admitted softly, her fingers curling into the fabric of Susannah's swimsuit.

Susannah's smile grew tender, her eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that Katherine could sense even at her young age. "I'm glad , sweetheart. This place will always be your home too, you know."

And in that moment, with the sun painting the sky in hues of gold and the sea whispering secrets to the shore, Katherine knew that she had found a place where she belonged. It was a memory etched into her heart, a reminder of the bond she shared with Susannah, a woman who had always made her feel valued, cherished, and loved.

Because that was the first time she had almost forgotten about her grief and was a little kid again.

The morning sun cast a warm embrace over the beach house, its rays gently caressing the world awake. Katherine sat in the backyard, her gaze fixed on the tranquil sea, lost in the rhythm of the waves. Today, it was her turn – her turn to be on the canvas, the vessel of Susannah's creativity.

Last night had been a revelation, a stark reminder of life's fragility. Conrad's words had hung heavy in the air, revealing Susannah's battle with cancer. Katherine had felt a mix of shock, sadness, and a fierce determination to keep up the appearance of normalcy, to not let Susannah see the weight of the truth in her eyes.

As Susannah prepared her paint palette and brushes, Katherine took a deep breath, forcing a smile to her lips as the older woman approached her with a warm embrace.

"Ready for this, my love?" Susannah's voice held a hint of playfulness, a reminder of their shared moments of laughter.

Katherine nodded, trying to mask the turmoil in her heart. "Absolutely. I'm excited to see what masterpiece you'll create this time."

With each delicate brushstroke, Susannah painted a canvas of colors and emotions. Katherine let the cool strokes of paint embrace her skin, a familiar sensation that whispered of shared secrets and unspoken understandings. The world outside faded as they wove their own cocoon of connection.

"You've grown, Katherine," Susannah observed softly, her brushstrokes a lullaby of memories.

Katherine looked into Susannah's eyes, a mixture of gratitude and unspoken words. "And yet, there's so much more to discover."

The conversation shifted, the words flowing as naturally as the paint on the canvas. Katherine found herself opening up about her recent struggles, about her somewhat of a breakup with Sebastian. Susannah listened with the patience of a second mother, offering words of wisdom and comfort.

"I knew something was bothering you," Susannah said gently, her eyes searching Katherine's.

Katherine's heart skipped a beat, but she managed to keep her composure. "I guess I'm not as good at hiding things as I thought."

Susannah's hand paused for a moment before resuming its delicate work. "You know, my dear, sometimes the heart reveals what the mind tries to keep hidden. It's okay to let people in."

As Susannah continued her work, Katherine's thoughts wandered. The cruel irony of life struck her – Susannah, a woman so full of light and kindness, burdened by illness. Her admiration for Susannah surged, a surge of love and gratitude that caught her off guard.

"You're more than just... Susannah to me," Katherine murmured, her voice breaking through the silence. "After my mom died, I never thought I would ever feel loved that way again but you and Aunt Laurel have been everything I could have asked for."

Susannah's eyes brimmed with unshed tears, her smile carrying a lifetime of love. "And you, my dear, are like the daughter I've always wanted."

They resumed their dance of art and conversation, the bond between them deepening with every stroke. The sun climbed higher, casting a golden glow over their sanctuary by the sea. A single glance, a shared moment, spoke of the depth of their connection.

"You're my family, Susannah. More than I ever thought possible," Katherine whispered, her voice raw with emotion.

Susannah's hand paused, a tear slipping down her cheek. "And you, my dear, are the daughter of my heart."

The brushstrokes seemed to hold time in their embrace, creating a masterpiece that was not just paint on canvas, but love and understanding woven into every stroke. As the sun reached its zenith, bathing the world in its warmth, Katherine felt a fierce surge of love for the woman before her.

In that moment, she realized that life's unfairness had no bounds – to challenge someone as kind and giving as Susannah seemed a cruel twist of fate. But it also taught her the beauty of resilience, the strength that could be drawn from love.

"I wish I can have you forever, Susannah," Katherine murmured, her voice carrying a weight of emotions. The words had slipped out, she hadn't meant to say it. But Susannah didn't catch on.

The woman smiled through her tears, a promise of unwavering support. "We're in this together, Kathy. No matter what comes our way, always remember, I am there for you."

And so, the dance between paint and canvas continued, and the young girl wondered if people are really with you even after they are gone.

In the ballroom, Katherine stood alongside Paige, observing as the couples practiced their dance moves. Belly, noticeably without a partner, attempted the steps solo, a sign that she hadn't yet asked Cameron to the debutante ball.

The entrance of Ms. Covington prompted Paige to introduce her. "Please welcome our debutante waltz instructor, Ms. Covington. All the way from Ms. Covington's School of Ballroom Dance in Newton," Paige announced, earning applause from the attendees.

"Thank you, Paige. As you all know, the waltz is the most highly anticipated part of the ball. So, please join your partners now... come on," Ms. Covington directed, taking charge of the dance practice.

Katherine approached Belly, offering herself as a partner. "Need a dance partner, milady?" she inquired with a playful bow.

"Why thank you, good sir," Belly responded with a giggle as they assumed their positions.

"You do need to ask Cam Cameron to the deb, you know," Katherine reminded her as they began to dance.

"Yeah, I know, I'll do it. Paige is gonna have a seizure if I wait too long to ask him," Belly quipped, a knowing smile gracing her lips. "And you should ask Sebastian! I don't know why you haven't already, I saw you two getting all lovey-dovey at Nicole's party."

"Oh," Katherine blinked. "Sebastian called it quits between us. Didn't really see it lasting."

"Oh my God, Kathy, I am so sorry." Belly shook her head, "I was so into my head yesterday and I didn't even ask. I am so sorry."

"Bells, it's okay. As long as you don't get drunk again and get me in trouble with Aunt Laurel," Katherine grinned.

"Okay, okay. Promise, Kathy." The younger Conklin girl smiled. "But find a partner, Paige will have our heads!"

"So will Susannah," Katherine added, sharing a laugh with her friend. "Okay, you take a step back..." Katherine instructed Belly, guiding her through the dance steps.

"Where did you learn this?" Belly inquired curiously.

"Well, uh, Conrad and I did this last year, remember?" Katherine explained, a hint of nostalgia in her smile as she recalled dancing the waltz with Conrad in the living room. Things had been so good then... and now, everything had changed.

Belly grinned, clearly enjoying the dance practice. "Let's pick up the pace," Ms. Covington suggested, and they followed her lead. However, a misstep led to Belly accidentally stepping on Katherine's foot, prompting a muffled groan from Katherine.

"Shit—Sorry," Belly apologized.

"It's fine, Let's continue," Katherine assured her with a smile, pushing through the momentary discomfort. Just then, Jeremiah approached them, his charm evident as he asked for a dance.

"Yeah—Of course, actually," Katherine laughed lightly, allowing Jeremiah to take her place.

Jeremiah exchanged positions with Katherine, and she observed as he and Belly danced, their moves more playful than precise. The atmosphere was relaxed, and Katherine found herself smiling at their antics. Something had changed between Belly and Jeremiah too... and only a fool would be oblivious to it. Katherine was sure Steven had no clue.

"Hey, Alexa, play 'So Pretty,'" Jeremiah called out, and Katherine activated the device, causing the song 'So Pretty' by Reyanna Maria to fill the room, instantly changing the mood.

Jeremiah began dancing, his movements capturing the attention of everyone present. The room erupted in cheers as the carefree dancing continued. Ms. Covington, momentarily baffled, struggled to comprehend the sudden change in atmosphere.

Among the dancing crowd, Paige entered the room, her presence commanding attention. "What is going on here? Alexa, stop," Paige demanded, and the music came to a halt, the dancers freezing in place.

"Jeremiah Fisher, why aren't you at the pool?" Paige questioned, her stern tone aimed at him.

"We had a 'code brown,'" Jeremiah responded with an innocent grin, causing some chuckles to ripple through the room.

"Yeah, we lost the keys to the chemical closet," he added, his expression maintaining an air of innocence.

Paige opened her planner and handed him the keys. "There you go," she said, her authority softened by a hint of amusement.

"Thanks, Paige," Jeremiah replied with a nod of gratitude, his mischievous smirk aimed at Belly before he sauntered out of the room.

The unexpected dancing interlude had thus come to an end. Katherine looked up from where she was next to Belly, seeing Conrad waving... at Nicole? And the she realized it was to her and a blush crept up her face. Memories of last night once again entered her mind and she remembered the 'almost' kiss.

Katherine smiled and when she turned back to Belly, the girl was staring at Conrad, as if the rest of the world had blurred around her. Another thought rushed up her mind, what were the chances of her breaking Belly's heart completely if she and Conrad gave it another go?

When Katherine came home that evening, it would be a lie if she said she wasn't shocked at the state of the house. At first, she guessed that Jeremiah and Steven had gotten drunk again but turns out it was actually Susannah and Laurel, who had been unmistakably high.

In the kitchen, she discovered Jeremiah and Conrad diligently working to restore order amidst the chaos. Conrad's eyes lifted from his task when he saw her, prompting him to pause. "Hey."

"Hey," Katherine replied, meeting his gaze.

Jeremiah's expression shifted from confusion to comprehension as he took in the scene. The truth about Conrad and Katherine's feelings seemed to be revealing itself, the once-guarded emotions now more visible. While he might have been oblivious to the events of the previous summer, the dynamics were becoming apparent and suddenly he felt it was a bad idea asking Nicole to take Conrad out, something he had done so his brother would not pursue Belly.

Conrad's phone buzzed, and with a lighthearted smile, Katherine inquired, "Who's blowing up your phone, Aquaman?"

Conrad shook his head slightly before responding, "Nicole. She wants me to go to Yarmouth Music Fest next weekend."

Jeremiah's reaction was a subdued swallow. "Planning to go?"

Gazing at Katherine, Conrad replied, "Yeah, I might. Sounds interesting."

"Cool," Jeremiah acknowledged with a nod.

Amidst the conflicting emotions swirling within Katherine, the memory of the almost-kiss the day before clashed with the news of Conrad's impending "date" with Nicole. The confusion was palpable, prompting her to seek clarity. "Con, can we talk?" she asked.

The boy nodded his head, yes.

Her gaze searched his face, trying to decipher his thoughts. "What happened yesterday? You were about to kiss me, and now you're suddenly planning to go on a date with Nicole?"

Conrad let out a sigh, his fingers rubbing his temples as if grappling with an inner struggle. "Katherine, what happened yesterday... it was a mistake. I was drunk, and I shouldn't have let things get that far."

Anger bubbled up inside Katherine, her frustration taking the reins. "You're playing with my emotions again, Conrad. One moment you're pulling me close, and the next you're pushing me away. I deserve better than this."

His eyes flickered with a mixture of regret and determination. "You don't understand, Katherine. This is a bad idea. You're better off without me."

Anger turned into a fiery resolve within her, and she leaned in, her voice edged with frustration. "Don't decide what's best for me, Conrad. I can make my own choices, I am not a child."

He shook his head, his voice holding a pained edge. "You don't get it. You shouldn't have any hope for me. I can't be what you want me to be, no matter how much I wish I could."

"Why can't you? If you think I deserve better then why can't you be better for me?" Katherine's voice wavered with a hint of desperation. "You were pushing me away because you were hiding something. Now you aren't. There shouldn't be so much distance between us anymore."

Conrad's gaze softened, and his voice held a mixture of vulnerability and regret. "I'm not ready, Katherine. I wish I was, but I am not. I am a mess and I will fuck it up again. I can't be with you, not like this. I'll keep fucking it up and you will keep forgiving me till all the love you have for me turns into hate."

Tears welled up in Katherine's eyes, her heart aching with a bitter mix of disappointment and understanding. "So, that's it? You're just going to walk away?"

Conrad's eyes locked onto hers, his voice a mixture of pain and resolution. "I have to, Kath. It's the only way you can be happy. I am fucked up and I don't wanna hurt you."

"In the end, it all hurts just the same, Conrad. I love you and I would have loved you through everything. But if there is nothing happening between us again, if you are giving up on me, then I am actually done with you." She reached for the necklace he had given her, the pendant cool against her skin as she held it between her fingers. "Take this back. Give it to a girl who can actually change you, because no matter how hard I tried, I failed."

That night, many different things happened in the Beach House. Jeremiah and Belly kissed for the first time, the girl letting go of her past infatuation for Conrad. Steven didn't know he was about to lose all the money had worked so hard for and Laurel found herself falling a bit in love again. Susannah was a wild girl again for one night, the worries of the present momentarily forgotten and as for Conrad and Katherine... well, as heartbroken as they might be, their story–both the magical parts and the tragedy– was not over yet.

A/N

with the amount of people quoting "you're losing me" in the comments, I wonder if I should have named the book that LMFAO anyways, THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY COMMENTS BABES! keep them coming, I love reading them!! Check out the new cover!!! I am kinda proud of it <3 Remember to vote and take care of yourself lovelies!!!