eight. foolish ones

foolish ones, stop checking the mails for confessions of love

Ever since Katherine was eight, she had spent every summer in Cousins with her cousins and the Fishers. It was always her, Belly, Jeremiah, Conrad, Laurel and Susannah– her family. Uncle Johnathan and Mr. Fisher would pull up to the house every once in a while but it was never same with them around. The summer was somehow only theirs– the mothers and the children.

 It was during those cherished months that Katherine felt a sense of belonging, a connection that couldn't be replicated anywhere else.

The beach house became their haven, a place where laughter echoed through the halls, sand stuck to their feet, and the salty breeze carried the scent of endless possibilities. They would spend lazy days by the shore, building sandcastles, playing games, and sharing secrets under the warm sun. Evenings were filled with laughter and conversations around the dinner table, where they would recount their adventures of the day and create memories that would last a lifetime.

But as Katherine grew older, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy towards Belly. August was Belly's month, the pinnacle of the summer when everything seemed to align perfectly. It was during that time that Belly would celebrate her birthday surrounded by the people she loved most, enveloped in the embrace of their shared history. Katherine couldn't help but long for that same kind of spotlight, for her own special summer moment.

As the years passed, Katherine realized that it wasn't the external celebrations that made the beach house summers so special. It wasn't about the grand gestures or elaborate parties. It was the small moments of connection, the shared laughter, and the feeling of being truly seen and loved by those closest to her.

And so, Katherine let go of her jealousy and embraced the true essence of the beach house summers. She found solace in the simple joys, in the late-night conversations with Belly, the brotherly teasing from Jeremiah, and the enigmatic presence of Conrad. She cherished the unspoken bond they shared, one that transcended birthdays and special occasions.

Conrad however, knew that Katherine would feel bad about spending a birthday away from the Fishers and that's why, every year without fail, he would give the girl a 'pre-birthday gift'. 

He would carefully select something that resonated with her, something she didn't even know she wanted. It could be a delicate bracelet that shimmered in the sunlight, a cozy sweatshirt that wrapped her in warmth, or a captivating book that would transport her to distant worlds. Conrad's choices were always thoughtful and tailored to Katherine's unique tastes.

When the time came for Belly to receive her birthday gifts from their family, the adults would instinctively turn to Conrad. They understood the bond that existed between Conrad and Katherine, a deep connection that went beyond simple friendship. 

The kitchen was filled with the buzz of excitement as everyone gathered for Belly's birthday celebration. Laughter and cheer filled the air, except for Conrad, who seemed to wear his usual stoic expression. Katherine couldn't help but notice the contrast, the vibrant energy of the room contrasting with Conrad's distant demeanor.

As Belly entered the room, Katherine's smile brightened, and she enveloped her cousin in a warm hug. "Happy Birthday, Belly-button," she greeted with genuine enthusiasm.

"Good morning, everyone," Belly returned the greetings, her voice carrying a hint of anticipation. The room erupted with joyful embraces and well wishes as Susannah and Laurel joined in the celebration.

"They are making us pancakes, already," Laurel grinned, pointing as Steven, Katherine and Jeremiah who had recently been arguing with each other, trying their best to cook for the girl. Conrad sat at the table, seemingly detached, munching on his cereal.

"Actually, I'm not really, uh, hungry." Belly admitted. Apologetic eyes met disappointed gazes, and Katherine could sense the slight tension in the room.

"Oh," Her mother said, disappointment quite evident in her voice.

Susannah then spoke, trying to diffuse the tension that was rising, "Shall we open gifts?"

"Oh!" Jeremiah grinned, biting into an apple, "You're gonna love mine."

"Mine too." Katherine smiled.

"She better love yours," Steven rolled his eyes at his cousin, "You made me roam around the mall for hours for it."

As the conversation swirled around her, Katherine's gaze remained fixed on Belly, watching her intently. Belly was watching Conrad with a strange expression on her face. Katherine recognized that expression. She had seen it way too many times on her own face. It was as if Belly's gaze held a hidden message, a plea for something more. 

It was the look of yearning. Waiting for someone to love you back.

Katherine sat comfortably next to Belly as she watched her cousin open gifts. She first opened one from her mom, which revealed a first edition collection of poems. The familiar words echoed through the room as they recited together, 

"For whatever we lose,

 like a you or a me... 

it's always ourselves, 

we find in the sea."

Susannah presented Belly with a pearl necklace that exuded elegance and grace. The expensive-looking piece shimmered under the light, a symbol of her mother's love and appreciation.

Jeremiah's gift added to Belly's existing charm bracelet, a small token of good luck and protection. Katherine smiled as she saw the joy on Belly's face, knowing how much she cherished these sentimental gestures.

Steven handed over a Princeton sweatshirt, teasing that he didn't want her wearing his when she inevitably "borrowed" it. It was a playful yet practical gift, reflecting their sibling banter and shared sense of humor.

Now it was Katherine's turn. She eagerly handed Belly a small, wrapped box. "This one's from me," she said with a mischievous grin. "Open it!"

Belly's eyes sparkled with anticipation as she carefully unwrapped the gift. She gasped when she saw the contents—a beautiful, new dress in her favorite color.

"No way!" Belly exclaimed, her voice filled with delight.

"Yes way," Katherine replied, beaming with satisfaction. "I saw it and immediately thought of you. I hope you love it as much as I do."

Belly held the dress up against her, her smile widening. "It's perfect! Thank you, Katherine. I can't wait to wear it."

Katherine felt a surge of joy as she saw how happy her cousin was with the gift. It was a small gesture, but she knew that sometimes it's the little things that can make someone's day.

"Conrad, uh, do you want to give Belly your present?" Susannah asked the boy.

"Yeah, um," Conrad replied, his voice slightly hesitant as he handed a wrapped book to Belly. "You told me you liked this series last summer, so I got you the new one. I think it's called, uh, 'Always and Forever, Lara Jenny?'"

Belly's eyes widened in surprise. "You're kidding. Always and Forever, Lara Jean? Oh God, thank you, Conrad."

Conrad simply nodded, his gaze fixed on the ground.

Susannah turned to her son, her expression curious. "Did you get something for Katherine this year?"

Conrad's response was immediate. "Sorry, I forgot."

Katherine tried to brush it off, feigning nonchalance. "Uh, that's cool, um... I wasn't really expecting anything. It's not my birthday, after all," she said, attempting to hide the slight disappointment that flickered in her eyes.

"Oh, so I've got to go," Conrad muttered, his tone somewhat abrupt. "I promised Cleveland that I'd show him some knots today, so... Happy birthday, Belly. Sorry, Kath." With those words, he left the room, leaving everyone perplexed.

Katherine couldn't help but feel a pang of confusion. This wasn't the same Conrad she had grown up knowing. Even after everything that had happened between them, they were still friends... right?

Jeremiah interjected, trying to lighten the mood. "Hey, why don't we take my car and practice driving before we have to pick up Taylor from the bus station?"

Belly nodded, eager for a distraction. "Sure, that sounds fun. You coming, Kath?"

Katherine shook her head, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "No, you guys go ahead and enjoy. I'm just gonna chill here."

Belly and Jeremiah left the room, as did Laurel and Susannah, and Katherine found herself sinking into the couch, lost in her thoughts. 

The memories of their failed relationship lingered, each one a reminder of the pain she had endured. She had loved him deeply, but their love had been fragile, and it shattered like delicate glass.

Steven joined her on the couch, sensing her contemplative mood. He sat down next to her, his presence offering a comforting solace. Without needing to say a word, he knew that she was wrestling with her emotions, the remnants of a love that had turned bitter.

"You okay, Kath?" Steven asked gently, his eyes filled with concern.

Katherine sighed, her gaze fixed on the distant horizon. "I don't know, Steven. Sometimes it feels like I'm still trying to piece myself together after everything that happened with Conrad."

Steven nodded, understanding the depth of her pain. "Yeah, I get it. He really messed things up, didn't he?"

A bitter smile crossed Katherine's lips. "Yeah, he did. But you know what hurts the most? It's not just the way he hurt me, but the fact that we were best friends before all of that. We had something real, and now it feels like we're strangers."

Steven placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Kath. I know how much he meant to you. It's hard when someone you trusted so deeply lets you down."

She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "It's just... I thought we were meant to be. We had all these plans, dreams of a future together. And then it all fell apart. It's like the foundation of our– our everything, was built on a lie."

"But–" Steven hesitated saying his next words, "But maybe it's for the best, Kath, I mean, you being together could have messed up everything. It would have affected more than just the two of you."

"You're probably right." Katherine shut her eyes, trying her best not to cry, "Maybe it's for the best/"