It took me almost a whole hour to eat the French toast that Carina had prepared but once we had done I helped wash up even with both Maya and Carina telling me not to worry. I was nervous to go shopping, I didn't want to feel like a burden to them or for them to regret buying me stuff. I don't need much but I will make it known that I appreciate everything.

"Ready to go bambina," Carina asked poking her head into the room as I was sat on my bed holding Mitsy. Tears were in my eyes and streamed down my cheeks as I was panicking about going shopping with my foster parents.

"Bambina, are you okay" Carina asked noticing that was trying so hard not to cry. God all I was doing was crying. How much more pathetic can I get. As I tried to stop crying I couldn't catch my breath and I couldn't calm myself down which caused me to panic more.

"Rose, can you tell me what's wrong? Can you talk to me?" Carina asked when I didn't talk.

"Can I take your hands?" Carina asked crouching down in front of me, I nodded, Carina was safe just like Maya, they are safe, unlike some foster parents I've had. Carina traced patterns on my hand drawing my attention away from my panicked state

"I'm sorry" I mumbled as Carina continued to trace patterns on my hands

"You don't have anything to apologise for. Do you think you can tell me what is going on in your mind?" Carina asked and I shrugged, it was stupid, I was stupid, right?

"I don't want you to get angry" I mumbled

"I won't be angry" Carina responded

"I don't want you or Maya to regret fostering me. When you realise how screwed up I really am. I've never opened up to someone like this before. I know I only met you guys less than a day ago but I feel safe here. I feel safe" I mumbled

"Bambina you are not screwed up," Carina said softly. I looked at her, I was now playing with her rings which were on her fingers. I was screwed up, I was fucked up.

"You know you both don't have to buy me things? I have clothes in my bag and I've got these shoes. I don't need anything else" I said looking back down and sighed.

"We want to bambina, we wouldn't be good foster parents if we don't spoil our new foster daughter," Carina said making me giggle, Carina reminded me of my foster mother from the family I liked.

"You remind me of my old foster Moms, they sent me back because she was pregnant," I said climbing from the bed where I dug out my framed photo to show Carina.

"You looked happy" she said and I nodded.

"I was a big sister to those little munchkins. I loved them, and I would have loved the baby too but my foster dad wasn't well" I remembered, I hadn't talked about this before with anyone really.

"You can have the picture out Bambina, if you want to. You don't have to have it hidden. Maya and I won't mind" Carina said and I nodded. I wanted that.

"I think I'm ready to go now" I said to Carina who smiled.

"If any time during our trip to the mall you few overwhelmed take my hand and squeeze it. If you feel comfortable doing that. Maya and I will understand we will take times out." Carina reassured me and I nodded, I debated with myself whether or not to ask if we can go to a shoe store, biting my lip I looked down.

"What you thinking of Bambina?" Carina asked and I looked at her curious to how she could see I was thinking.

"Could I maybe get some new running shoes?" I asked

"You can get whatever you want. Today is about you. Maya would be able to help you pick out some good running shoes." Carina said and I nodded but I didn't want some that were too expensive, I couldn't accept them if they were expensive.

The three of us headed to the car and Maya told me all about her wining gold at the Olympics, how she did it on a sprained ankle, she told me how her dad pushed her hard and she doesn't want to do that to me but I asked her if she'd take me running one day because I liked to run.

"Carina said you'd like to get some new running shoes, I'd be more than happy to help you pick some out" Maya said glancing into the back of the car, a smile formed on my face and I nodded

"But nothing too expensive" I said anxiously, I wished I had brought Misty with me but I didn't want to loose her.

"And I thought we could go to the store after and you can pick out some food that you like. We've realised you don't eat much or your reluctant to eat" Maya decided to bring up which made me worry, I don't want them to be angry with me for not eating but I did like fruit, it's healthy.

"Can i we get fruit?" I asked to the two adults who both said yes.

"When we get home later we would like to talk to you about some things, you need to answer them truthfully though Bambina" carina said and I nodded. I knew what this was about. It's the only thing it could be about my eating and my scars and bruises.

We arrived at the mall after a fifteen-minute drive and I felt myself panicking at the number of cars, which meant there would be loads of people inside. I remembered what Carina said in my room, that if I need to squeeze her hand they will get me somewhere to take a break. As I climbed out of the car I felt physically sick but I took a dee breath and continued to join my foster parents.

"How about we go to the shoe store first and go from there" Carina asked and I nodded. Immediately I grabbed Carina's hand without even thinking. I saw a small smile form on her face as she let me hold her hand. Maybe they could be my forever home, I've always wanted a forever home.

"You're safe with us" Maya said softly as she reassured me that I was safe. I nodded still holding Carina's hand. The three of us made our way into the mall and just as I expected it was busy but I kept reminding myself that I was safe with Carina and Maya. The shoe store was near the entrance which was what I was relieved about.

"You can look around if you want" both Carina and Maya informed me and I nodded, the store was empty and I was drawn to these Pink Nike shoes which were expensive so I had to stop myself from asking Maya if they were good shoes. Putting the shoes down I looked around

"Do you like them, Rose?" Maya's voice brought me back to reality as I looked over to the two adults.

"Yes, but they are too expensive. I'll find some cheaper ones" I told her.

"You can get them. How about we see what size you are and see if you like them from there?" Maya asked, I did like them but they were too expensive, I couldn't accept them, could I?

"But they are too much money" I exclaimed

"You don't have to worry about how much they cost. Okay Bambina, it doesn't matter about price" Carina said but I couldn't help but worry about the price. Maya asked for help measuring my shoe size and then I tried on the shoes, they were so comfortable but I still felt guilty especially when Carina went up to buy them while Maya and I waited outside the store.

Going to the different stores was overwhelming but it was fun, shopping with my foster parents. We were heading to the food court and I stopped outside build a bear, I had always wanted to get a build a bear teddy but I didn't want to ask, it was bright inside.

"Do you want to get a stuffed animal?" Maya asked realising I had stopped.

"Can I?" I asked excitedly. Maya motioned for me to enter with a smile on her face.

"I can't believe she's ours. I don't care how long for but I hope she feels safe here. That maybe one day we can adopt Rose" I overheard Maya say to Carina as I walked into the store. They really wanted me. Nobody has ever wanted me before. I found a pink teddy and the perfect outfit before Carina and Maya took me to stuff the teddy. It was soft and cuddly and we had to name the teddy which I didn't know what to call it.

"I don't know what to call her," I said with the teddy in my arms.

"What about Lily or Juliette?" Maya suggested, I grinned at the name Juliette, I liked the name and decided that Juliette was the name of my new stuffed animal, my new teddy bear.

After we finished shopping and had lunch we headed home. I had definitely been spoiled and got bad for all the money they had spent on me but I appreciated it all. I was relieved I didn't have to choose anything for my room just yet because I really wasn't sure how I wanted my room decorated, I did know I wanted a little reading book and my bed by a wall but that's all I knew.

"Bambina we want to ask you some questions. And it's important you answer them truthfully. You aren't in any trouble." Carina said after we put my new things into my room and I nodded holding my new stuffed animal. I sat on the sofa and both Carina and Maya sat down too.

"How did you get the bruises and scars on your arms" they began and I looked down, it was time to tell the truth.

"My last foster parent are the bruises and the cuts and scars are me.. Nobody seemed bothered about what I told them about what was happening so I tried I did anything to actually feel something. I'm sorry, I understand if you don't want me now" I said anxiously

"We want you Rose, you are wanted" Maya said softly

"Why do you want a fucked up teenager when you could have a baby who's not been fucked up by the fucking system," I asked, nobody wanted a teenager from the foster care system so why was I any different.

"We want you Bambina and we want to help you" Carina said and I nodded slowly unsure what to say. I could tell they were being honest with me. They wanted me and I couldn't wait to see what life has to throw my way while
I am living with Carina and Maya