Jonathan Miller

I can't sleep..

"Mom.." My mom didn't came to me. Where is she? Ugh. This are the times where I hate Evan for making me so dependent on him. I groaned and swung my legs by the edge of the bed and stood.

Now what? I'm thirsty. Evan would always place a bottle of water by the bedside table in case I get thirsty but I know it's not there along with Evan..

"Mom?" I was squinting to see the door but I know I can't see it. Ugh. Okay, just walk by the wall. I felt for the wall and walked nest to it. Feeling the wall with my palm. I found door! I went out still feeling for the wall. Where is the freaking stairs. Wait.. I can remember..

****

'15 steps'

'Why are you counting the steps?' Evan...

'Because I can't see anything anymore, I need to move about in the house.'

'Tsk!'

'What's wrong with you Evan?' I can't see his facial expressions anymore...

'You don't need to do that! I'm here am I.. I won't ever leave you. I'll guide your steps. I'll be your eyes, Nate. I'll always be here next to you.'

***

Next to me huh.. It's my fault that you're not here next to me. I never notice that staying with me, is hurting you this much.

I felt for the rails of the stairs. Last time I went down from here, I fell but Evan was there to catch me. I took a deep breath and step down on the first step.

"25 steps."  I muttered. I remembered I counted the steps of the stairs too. Second step.. My legs were shaking. Shit, if I fell from here.. No, Nathan you can do it.

"Third.. Fourth step.. Fif-- shit!" I blinked and I saw the horror in my mom's face.

"Oh my God!!! Nathan!!! Nathan!!!"

"M-mom.."

"No! Don't move! Don't move baby!" He was holding a phone by her ears and she was sobbing as she tell someone from the other line our address.

"Mom.."
"Oh my God. Oh my God. No.. No!! He's bleeding! He's bleeding so much! Please God, no!! No.."

Mom press something on my forehead.

"Mom, I'm fine. M-mom.."

"Baby.. Bab.." Her words died down from my ears..

"He'll be fine Ms. Miller. Just a light concussion but since he fainted we need to observe him for a day or two."

"Thanks doctor." Ah, I can hear them..

"Nate!" Evan.. You came back for me..

"Why are you here?" My mom spite out.

"Ms. Miller, I.."

"No, Evan! Nathan told me everything. Even with what happened with you two. You should've not left him. Now look at him. He's on the hospital bed with a head injury because he fell down from the stairs! Evan, how could you leave him? I don't know what is the status of your relationship with my son but please.. Come heaven or hell, don't you dare, leave my son alone. You thought him the life depending on you alone. Now take responsibility for it." Mom..

"Mom.. I'm fine."

"Nathan! My baby.." Mom showered me with kisses and hugged me so tight, I couldn't breathe.

"Mom, too tight."

"Oh, sorry dear. I'll call your doctor and-"

"Mom, can you leave Evan and I for awhile?"

"Nathan," she sighed my name. "You can talk later."

"Please mom?" I begged and I know with her kissing my cheek and then forehead, she was about to grant my request.

"I'll be back."

"Thank you."

When mom left. I felt Evan moved closer to my bed. I turn my head and wince at the sudden movement.

"Nate  careful." He quickly said.

"What happened?" He was silent for awhile but I know he'll speak up so I waited until he was ready.

"You fell down stairs. You bang your head pretty hard. Atleast that what's your mom told us. You also have a bruised ankle. Few days and it'll be okay to walk on it, says the Doctor."

"Mmm." I lift my hand and reach for him but his silhouette backs away.

"Evan.. Come here please."

"No, Nate. Because of me you..." I knew it.

"Evan, this is not your fault. I was really careless."

"No, this won't happen if I had just stayed with you! If I hadn't force you we shouldn't have that stupid argument. If I had not confesed this would all not be happening and you won't get hurt. It is my fault. It's all my fault" Ugh.

"Don't be stupid! Come here, Evan!" I notice he jumped a bit which made me chuckled.

"Please Evan?" I sighed, relieved tht he finally oblidge and approach me.

"I'm sorry." We said and unison making me chuckle again.

"Me first Evan. I'm sorry I was too dense to notice your feelings. I'm sorry I am too blind.." I paused when he muttered "you technically are" rolling my eyes, I hit him on his arm.

"Too blind, General. Whatever. I said I'm sorry okay! Fine. Fine.. I'm sorry too that I seduced you somehow in having se--" I paused to when he held my hand. "in having sex with me. I did wanted it Evan. I'm sorry it had to all turn out this way because I was being indenial. Though I am still confused with how I feel for you."
I heard him sigh as he sat next to me.

"Nate.. I understand so stop saying sorry. I should be," he paused. "I gave in. I thought I could keep it control but I snapped. I hurt you. I won't--"

"Evan, I'll try it. Please let me. Let me confirm what I feel for you. I always fool around and you let me. This time I am serious. Will you.. Will you let me too?"

"Nate, this is a path you can't go back too. Are you sure, because if I had you, I'll never let go." He held both my hands and squeeze making me smile.

"Yes. Very." I nodded and was engulped with a warm, tight embrace.

"So, just making sure. I'm not gonna leave you two alone in that house." I groan out loud.

"Mooom!!" My mom was eaves dropping on us the whole time! And fuck, I think evan knew it. I whined but evan just chuckled, kissing my neck making me pout at him.

"It's all right." Evan said.

"Damn right." I countered. Sarcastically.

*****

Jacob Hudson

What a bright sunny day! I inhaled deeply and let out a groan. Sunny huh? I stood and went by the window.

"It's raining." I pouted. The sunny day was in my dream. When I was young, when Evan and I was still young. The times when I really didn't want to reminisce.

"Well, even with the rain I can still have fun." I grin and run off to the shower. After my morning routine, I wore my V-neck blue cotton shirt and jeans. I grab my jacket then my backpack. I then reach my phone and type in Evan's name.

"Dude! Let's drink! My treat!" I said ethusiastically over the phone.

(I'm with Nate.) He said over the phone and hung up. Tsk! I look for some of my friends name in my phonebook and saw Althea's name. She's my ex. One of my exe's. Well she is married now and his husband know I am full pledge gay. Which I am not. I am bi. Which he suspects but Thea always says otherwise. Eitherway Thea and mine's relationship are just friends. We never did felt romantic feelings with each other even before when we are still together. The sad thing is, almost all my relationships are like that.

"Althea Michelle Peters-Hadrick! Let's drink! My treat." I grin over the phone when I heard her sigh.

(Your brother hung up on you?) I laughed and she sighed again.

(The usual, I'll be there at 9) and then hung up. I grin at my phone and skip out of my apartment.

****

The sound of loud music and booming speakers hurts my chest. It hurts. Where am I? Why am I dancing again?

"Jake!!" Thea caught my arms when I almost fell.

"You're drunk! Let's go back to our table!" She screamed loudly but I still couldn't hear clearly, so she just drag me away from the dance floor, shobbing people away as we go.

"Jacob!" She groaned when I lied on the u-shape sofa. Luckily, I booked a VIP lpunge for us so it's not that loud here.

"Jake, You're drunk. Give me your phone I'll call Evan." I toss on the sofa and groaned. It hurts. My chest hurts.

"Jake!" She groan again and search my pockets but when she got my phone..

"Jake?" I grab her wrist.

"Thea.." I sat up and hugged her. Burrying my face on her chest. She then sighed, returning my hug.

"Shh.. It'll be fine honey.. It'll all be alright. Someday for sure." She stroke my hair and finally called Evan when I calm down a bit though I was still hugging her like a child would.. to his mother.

"Evan. You need to pick us up. I can't carry your brother like this." She says against my phone.

(The usual place?)

"Yes, hurry. He's not okay"

(I'm on my way. Don't leave him thea.)

"Drink some water, Jake." I remember shaking my head. No!

"No.." I was screaming in my head but when it came out.. I sounded calm..

"No.." Unhurt.

"Jacob. Can you look at me, hun. Evan is on his way. You're alright. Right?" I eyed her. Her blue eyes looked dark with the dim lights. I grasp my head when pain shot through it.

"Drink some water." I grab the glass she is holding and took large gulps of semi lookwarm water.

"I'm fine.." I said..

"Jake. Here hold my hand until Evan gets here." I nodded and I drop my head against her shoulder. She held my hand first but I was the one who tightened it.

"Thea.." My voice still came out calm.. but my hand.. My hand gripping hers is shaking.

"Shh.. I know, hun.. I know.." She stroke my hair with her free hand.

"Evan.. Faster "