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This Is Starting Over

I figured with returning to town, Alyssa would take me back to her place so I could sit and give April the details I'd promised. The thought went out the window when she slowed Gage's BMW outside my house, my mother sitting in an old whicker chair on the front porch wiping at her cheeks. Even from behind tinted windows and far away, I could see tears staining her cheeks.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Alyssa, knowing that the fact we were here and my mother waiting was because they'd spoke about it behind my back. "I don't want to be here, Alyssa. Louis—"

"That's why we're here." She slowly turned the key in the ignition. "Don't worry. I'm going to stay as long as you need me too. We're here for you, Marley."

I wanted to sit and protest, but my eyes got the flashing of police lights in my peripheral and when I spun around in my seat to look, two patrol cars had pulled up. My heart started to race, but Alyssa, like her son, reached out and comforted in her own way. "Marley, honey, you're going to be okay. I just. . . we need you to come inside with us, okay?"

My mother and Alyssa were on either side of me walking into the house, as if they were acting as protective guards, high alert and ready to defend me against Louis. My eyes immediately raked the living room for my brother, but my mother must have caught it because she shook her head and whispered, "He's with your grandparents."

That took a little weight off my shoulders, but watching Rodger shove Louis down the stairs brought it back full force and I nearly suffocated under the pressure. The minute his eyes found me, they ignited with the usual hatred and fury, but his too, was snuffed out upon seeing the police officers on the porch.

"What the fuck?" Louis turned to look at his father. "What's going on?"

I was wanting to know the same thing.

"Sit down, Louis." Rodger demanded, ushering his son to the couch before going to greet the men in front of the door. I was watching his father, but I could feel my stepbrother's eyes burning holes through me. As if he thought I were behind all of this.

"Natalie Lowe and Shawn Beckham came forward with proof that you were not only the person in the video, but that you had it recorded and uploaded." Rodger answered before either officer could. "We're not here to listen to you sit and deny the accusations, Louis, we are here to get your sisters side of the story."

"That's bullshit!" Louis snapped, throwing his arms up. One of the officers touched the top of the gun on his belt, eying Louis with a warning look. "They're lying, Dad. Just like this stupid bitch is. How can you believe them over me? I'm your fucking son!"

Rodger winced, as if the words physically hurt him, before clearing his throat and edging closer to his son on the couch. Alyssa and Mom stayed on either side of me, one of the officers standing beside the old recliner and the other with a device in his hand that appeared to be a tape recorder.

"Before you speak, we must inform you that this is being recorded and can be used in federal court if needed."

I tried to nod, but I was sure it looked more like I had a crick in my neck I couldn't quite get out.

Mom rubbed my arm soothingly while Alyssa squeezed my shoulder in encouragement. Avoiding Louis' cold, dead stare, I started to speak.

"The party wasn't the first time he touched me." I whispered. "He did it on a countless number of occasions, and would twist the words around so I felt as though I would be the one facing repercussions for his actions."

"Can you elaborate on that?" the shorter, fatter officer said from the recliner.

I dropped my gaze to my trembling hands. "It was just touching for a while. He's slip his hands under my shirt, kiss me, rub my. . . he'd touch my lower body without consent. Anytime I'd try to fight him off he'd choke me and threaten to tell our parents that I was the one who'd come on to him."

A quiet whimper escaped my mother and she turned her head in the opposite direction to try and keep her composure.

"I was a happy teenager." I wanted it to be said loud and clear. "I had friends, I was popular. But that party, I had one drink, which I know, I was underage and shouldn't have, but I did. After about twenty minutes the room started spinning and I felt nauseous and dizzy. My best friend, Natalie, she told me I was probably just a lightweight and needed to sleep it off, so she found Louis and told him I needed to be taken upstairs to one of the bedrooms."

I still couldn't force my head up, but felt every pair of eyes on me, so I continued.

"Little did I know he was the reason for what I was feeling. He must have. . . he slipped something into my drink so when he started. . . when he started to undress me that I couldn't fight him, not really."

This time the strangled sound was a breath from Rodger and I looked up. He was staring at Louis as if he were a stranger, a monstrous stranger wearing his sons face.

"I. . . he undressed me, and I wasn't. . . I didn't know he had someone recording it or he was, or however it was done. But I. . . I'm sorry." I broke off suddenly, a knot rising in my throat and my stomach churning. My mom wrapped her arms around me and pressed my face into her chest. Slowly, I went on. "I was coherent enough to kick at him. I tried screaming and my friend, she heard me and tried to come up, but Louis. . . he has these spells where he blacks out and hurts people. So one of our friends carried my friend away, not wanting her to get involved and hurt."

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but a pointed look from Rodger shut him up before he could start.

"Well, I. . . I got him in the jaw with the heel of my stiletto and he started bleeding. The next time I kicked him, it got the bridge of his nose, right by his left eye." I raised my left hand and touched my fingertips to the area. "He didn't like that and he. . . he snapped. He stripped me of my undergarments and while he pinned down my legs with his own, he started to strangle me."

I could feel the tension radiating off Louis from across the room and was ready to turn and run out the door. I wanted Gage. I wanted April. Hell, I even wanted Dr. Chao right now. The last thing I wanted was to be reliving this nightmare with him a few feet away, ready to pounce at any second.

"Strangle you?" the short officer questioned, not even bothering to look toward Louis for confirmation. "As in he put you in a chokehold?"

I hadn't realized just how bad I was shaking until I brought my hands up and showed him. "He held his hands here, pressing them into my windpipe and cutting off my oxygen. I started to fade in and out after that, and he. . . he dropped his hands, but when he did that, he started to rape me. I. . . I wanted to scream for help, to cry again, but I couldn't even get a full breath out. So I just laid there, helplessly, while he did what he did. And when he finally. . . when he finished he moved aside and I could feel that I was bleeding down there. It hurt for weeks afterward, just as I couldn't get a full breathe in for months."

My mother reached out and touched her hand to my cheek, guilt starting to shift into horror. "Oh, Marley, baby."

"It's bullshit!" Louis snarled, looking to his dad for support. "I didn't do shit to her. She was probably just wasted and doesn't remember who actually did rape her."

"Shawn handed over the original video this afternoon, Louis." Rodger said. "Told me that he wanted justice to be served and that Marley didn't deserve any of this."

Though he tried to mask his own shock and worry with anger, I still saw it flicker in his eyes, lips pulling back in disgust for his fake friend.

"I didn't do anything." He repeated.

The taller of the two officers, the one holding the tape recorder, looked to my stepbrother and said, "I would save that for the judge and let them determine whether or not you did. Louis Mathers you have the right to remain silent, anything can and will be used you in—"

"You're fucking kidding!" Louis grasped his father's arm in desperation. "Dad, you're not going to let them arrest me, are you?"

Rodger only shook Louis off and avoided eye contact as he moved aside so the officer could grasp my brother.

"—court of law. Put your hands behind your back, I really do not want to have to do this the hard way, kid."

Louis stared blankly at his father, and for a fraction of a second hurt stared back at his father, before he whirled on me and glared. It was so strong, so fueled with hatred, that I shook my head, knowing without any doubt he had nothing left to lose.

"You stupid bitch!"

Throwing himself forward, I immediately retracted my legs on to the loveseat and cowered with my head in my hands, terrified that Alyssa and my mother would flee last second and drop their guard. Only Louis didn't even come within reach. When I glanced back up, the taller officer had him pinned to the ground, shouting at him to calm himself. Rodger was standing over them, pinching the bridge of his nose with a pained expression.

Before I could get another word out, the officers had led a screaming, angry Louis out to their patrol car. No doubt disturbing the entire neighborhood with the profanities he was shouting. Rodger stepped outside for a few minutes to speak with the police, before he stepped back into the living room. All three adults looked at me with a mixture of sympathy and guilt; sympathy for knowing and guilt for not trying harder to understand. After a moment, I stood shakily, my eyes on Rodger as he shook his head slowly to himself. I couldn't even begin to understand the internal confliction he felt inside of him right now. Though he'd stepped up and done the right thing, he had also just sentenced his son to most of, if not all, of his life in prison.

"I'm so sorry." he breathed, realizing my eyes were on him. After a moment of contemplation, he hugged me. "I'm so sorry, Marley."

I rested my head against his chest, tears finally breaking free now that the monster had been forced out. "Me too."

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