CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
[36]
song: left with a gun by skinshape

There was a heavy weight on Cassie's shoulders for many reasons. She couldn't sleep. Not only because John B's couch was too small to act as a bed, but because of the idea that Big John was in danger because of her.

They'd told her that all they knew was that Singh and his guys showed up one night, and took off with him. That he's somewhere in South America.

They told her this, all while John B wrapped his bloody knuckles up with gauze, and JJ used an expired bag of frozen peas as an ice-pack. And while the thought of being here to help her friends was nice, seeing them now, in this state, worried her that she'd made the wrong choice.

They'd discuss it more in the morning. They were all tired, and more importantly, Cassie really didn't want to talk to either of them after the night they'd had.

She was the first up. The frogs outside of The Chateau too loud to bare any further, and it wasn't like she was sleeping anyway. Cassie helped herself to breakfast in the kitchen, opening up the fridge and gagging at the smell.

Plugging her nose, she pulled out the carton of milk, checked the date, and let out a frustrated sigh. "Jesus." She muttered in disgust, as she poured the expired contents down the sink, and tossed the carton.

She squirmed at the sight of old dishes, of piling up trash and muddy floors. She could hear John B snoring in his room, and JJ sleeping peacefully outside on the porch hammock, his baseball cap over his head.

Everything was pissing her off right now. She purposefully slammed the fridge door shut, hard enough for the empty cereal boxes on top of it to topple off.

This immediately woke JJ up, sending him into an immediate panic where he scrambled out of the hammock, got tangled, and ended up on the floor with a thud.

And that thud woke John B. Quickly, she realized she preferred it when they were both asleep.

"It's something about the dude's face." John B had said, going back and forth across his porch on a penny-board. "Like the whole, 'no-hard-feelings, bro'."

Cassie was inside, ignoring her sixth call from Rafe in the past ten hours, and the fourth this morning. She was cleaning up John B's mess for her own sanity. And even though she was upset with him, she knew very well John B didn't have the time to worry if his house was clean or not.

"No hard feelings. It's kinda hard not to have feelings about that." JJ responds, on the couch, outside with John B.

"It's just that look. That Kook look, you know?"

"It was clear provocation." JJ says, pronouncing it wrong.

"Provocation." John B corrects.

"Provocation. You did what you had to do. No choice."

"Thank you, no choice." John B agrees. "Have you talked to Cassie?"

"I can hear you." Cassie says, putting a dish away in the cabinet above her.

"She can hear you." JJ says. "No, we haven't talked about why Rafe Cameron and my sister were holdings hands at Kiara's party." JJ says, speaking unnecessarily loud on purpose.

Cassie, a sponge in one hand, and a bowl in the other, wearing yellow rubber gloves, busts out onto the porch. "We were not holding hands."

JJ ignores her, clearly just as pissed with her as she was with him. He talked to her like she was stupid. "Then what were you doing, Cassie? Please, share with the class."

Cassie takes a deep, frustrated breath, not wanting to verbally assault JJ anymore than she already had. "It's actually none of your business, JJ." She spoke, with a forced calm tone.

"That's the guy who stole from us, you know that right?" John B speaks up, hesitant, knowing he'll only anger her further but wanting to make the point anyways. "Left you for dead?"

Cassie whipped her head toward him, holding the sponge out at him like it was a weapon. "Don't." She said through clenched teeth, too fed up with either of them to hear what they have to say about anything in her life right now.

John B puts his hands up defensively.

She got another phone call. And it started ringing, with that loud, outdated ring-tone that couldn't have come at a worse time. She didn't even have to check who it was before she pulled her phone out, and declined it.

"That him?" JJ shrugs.

Cassie turns back to JJ now. "You notice that giant bruise on your jaw right now?" She shrugs, annoyed. "Do you also notice that every fight you get in the other guy leaves untouched? And nine times out of ten you end up knocked out somewhere and John B has to show up and finish it off for you?"

"I won that fight at The Boneyard with Topper—"

"—you can't fight. 'Cause you're an idiot. And you think you're so much tougher than you are—"

"Well, you pulled out a gun." John B muttered at one point.

"—yeah!" Cassie gestured to John B, agreeing. "You pulled out a gun!"

"Dude?" JJ shrugs, now annoyed with John B.

Cassie redirected her attention to John B, not wanting to him to think he was off the hook. "And you," she seethes, "You're an even bigger idiot. What were you thinking?! His grandpa is the biggest lawyer in this town?! You could have killed—"

"You didn't hear what he was saying!" John B tried to defend himself.

"No. You're right. I was too busy listening to the sound of you hitting him over and over." Cassie responds. "While he lay there. Defenseless."

"You're not seriously defending him?" JJ speaks from the couch.

"No!" Cassie shouts. "He's a douche. I know that. But, god— you guys just think you're so tough but you're idiots. And you think hitting each other is gonna solve your problems" She spoke quickly, turning back to John B. "You talk to your girlfriend and figure your shit out." She turned to JJ. "and you—" Cassie stops, realizing JJ's problems stemmed from and Rafe, a subject she certainly didn't want to discuss with him right now. "You're just an idiot."

The porch went still and quiet for a few seconds, as the tensions settled. John B, JJ and Cassie exchanging glances, wondering what was going to happen next. Like they were in a stand-off.

John B hesitated. "...Better?"

Cassie inhaled a deep breath, and exhaled it out with a loud huff. "Better."

"Good." John B says. "'Cause we gotta figure out a plan on how to get to South America like— yesterday."

He starts to walk back inside, leaving Cassie standing there to really ensure she got all her feelings out. JJ stood from the couch, eyeing Cassie as he walked past her. Clearly, and on both ends, things weren't resolved there.

"I was thinking passports, but we don't have those. So we can't fly commercial." John B starts.

"What about that money you took from Portis?" JJ asks.

Cassie follows them inside, taking off her yellow gloves, hanging them up on the hook by the sink, and putting the rest of the clean dishes away.

"I gave that to my dad." John B says, opening the fridge. "Where's my food?"

"Expired. And in the trash." Cassie says.

"All of it?" John B didn't believe her.

She nodded. "Yes. Literally all of it."

"Oh." He says.

"What about a boat?" JJ suggests. "If we got a boat we could get down there. What about your grandpa's boat?" He turns to Cassie.

"My grandpas boat that we sold three years ago?"

"Okay, so what I'm hearing is we have no money, and no boat."

"And no food." John B adds.

"You can go grab the fur-covered mango from the trash outside if you're that hungry." Cassie suggests, and as she glances out the window, she sees a truck pulling into the front yard. She steps closer, thinking it was Pope, but as it got closer, she realizes it's a cop car. "What's Shoupe doing here?" She asks, absentmindedly, only to be yanked down and out of the way of the window.

"Shh!" John B says. "Shoupe. It's Shoupe. He's outside right now."

JJ, who was also yanked to the ground, starts to slowly stand back up to see for himself, but was yanked down again.

The truck stops, and they look at each other, all bent down in the kitchen, waiting for whatever would happen next.

The truck door slams. "Alright, John B." Shoupe yelled from outside.

"Shit!" JJ whispers, and all three of them started to scramble around on the floor for a better hiding spot. "Go, go!"

"Anybody home?" Shoupe yells again. "John B?"

"Under there! Under there!" JJ whispers frantically, pushing John B under a tiny table.

"I can't fit under there!" John B pushes back.

JJ pushes on Cassie next. "You! Go! Go talk to him!"

Cassie, shakes her head frantically. "Me? Why?!"

"Alright, John B. I know you're in there." Shoupe says.

They scramble again at the sound of Shoupe getting closer. "'Cause he likes you. Just tell him he's not home!" JJ says, practically forcing Cassie back onto her feet.

Shoupe knocks, and Cassie could see him from where she stood the kitchen, one look in this direction and they were busted. "Cassie—" John B starts.

"Shh. Sh. Shut up." She says, swatting down at them as they both hid under the table. She takes a breath, then approaches the door.

"I know you can hear me in—" Shoupe says, but stops when Cassie opens up the door.

"Shoupe?" She says, forcing her way out onto the porch, closing the door behind her. "What are— how are you?"

Shoupe slowly drew his eyes from Cassie, to the front door she stood in front of, then back to her. "Cassidy, Is John B home?"

Cassie was shaking her head before he even asked the question. "No. He left really early this morning to go fishing. I think he's out by the marsh."

Shoupe nodded slowly. "Right. Well, I wasn't really expecting to see you here."

Cassie shrugged innocently, "Yeah, I—" but she stops talking when she sees Shoupe pull his handcuffs off his belt. "What are you—"

"Cassidy Maybank, you are under arrest."

Her jaw dropped, her immediate reaction was that this was some joke, but he gestured for her to turn around, and instinct made her comply. "What?! For what?!" It wasn't until she felt the cold metal around her wrists that she really started to panic.

"You have the right to remain silent." Shoupe continued, and she heard the locking off the cuffs.

Looking through the screen door, she could just barely see JJ looking out from underneath the table. Her eyes wide in panic, 'what is going on?!' she mouths.

"Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided—"

"Shoupe, what's going on?!" She spoke, as he started to guide her away from the door and off the porch.

He took a breath. "—will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?"

She shook her head quickly, as he pushed her towards the truck. "No!"

"Miss Maybank, please." Shoupe sighs, then opens the truck door. Cassie glances at the house, at the window, desperate for an explanation. "With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?"

Shoupe helps Cassie into the backseat, ensuring she doesn't bump her head on the car. "Yes, yes. Shoupe— I think there's been a mistake, I didn't—"

"Cassidy, you have been charged with breaking and entering, and the destruction of property." Shoupe spoke to Cassie in the doorway of the car, like a disappointed father.

She went still.

"Now you tell me if there's been a mistake." Shoupe says.

It was a rhetorical question. He shut the backdoor and came around to the front driver's seat. Cassie's heart was thundering against her chest, the urge to just start screaming was the strongest and most sure emotion she'd felt in weeks.

"Shoupe, seriously?" Cassie spoke from the backseat as Shoupe got back inside, and turned the truck back on.

He shook his head with a sigh. "I'm just doing my job, Cassidy. A report was made on criminal activity. It is my job to ensure these reports are brought to fruition."

She clenched her jaw. "Who made the report?"

Shoupe glanced at her in the mirror as he started driving.

"Shoupe, come on."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Rafe Cameron."

—

Cassie sat on the metal slab they called a chair, watching, for the fourth hour now, as a deputy typed up reports on her computer.

Cassie really could have squeezed herself through the metal bars if she really wanted to. This wasn't even real jail. It was a holding cell until Rafe confirmed he wanted to press charges.

She felt sick. She was so panicked she couldn't breathe for the first hour, clawing at her throat and desperate for someone to just tell her this was a mistake.

Cassie went through all the questions to the poor deputy who sat nearest to her. Am I even old enough to be here? When did he make the report? Did he tell you the full story? Is this going on my personal record? Is this going to cost me money? Do I get to call someone?

She did, she called Rafe. And of course now he didn't pick up.

He made the report that morning. That was all Shoupe told her. If it was an old report from a few days ago, that Cassie would understand. But here she was, sitting in a cell because the person she kissed last night wanted her arrested.

Was it all part of some game? Was he on some sort of power trip? Cassie wouldn't put anything past him now.

"What time is it?" Cassie asked through the iron bars.

The deputy glanced up at her computer screen, then over to Cassie. "It's almost two."

Hour six.

Cassie wasn't sure what she was waiting on. But the longer it took, the worst she felt, the more she thought about anything and everything she'd ever said or felt for him.

And it was hour eight when another deputy came by her cell, and started to unlock it.

Cassie shot up from the metal slab she lay on at the sound of the keys jingling. "You're free to go." He said, swinging the door open.

She was confused. "What? That's it?"

The deputy nods. "The prosecutor has decided not to press charges. So you're free to go."

She waited for further explanation, looking at the guy with her eyebrows, hesitant to move. But he just opened the door further. "You can grab your belongings up at the front, and she'll have you sign a few things."

Cassie nodded slowly, then slipped out past him.

She was mortified. Never in her life had she thought she'd ever end up in a jail. Especially not after seeing what it did to her father. And walking through the station, she was embarrassed. She knew half of these people by name, and if not them specifically, their families. And she wondered if they all thought 'yeah, this was bound to happen sometime' as the deputy escorted her through the office.

"Thank you." Cassie said quietly, as she handed the receptionist back her signed waiver. Wondering why she felt inclined to thank the people that just held her in a jail cell for eight hours.

She only wore the big brown hoodie that John B had lent her, and the small black shorts she had on under her dress. The temperature had dropped significantly from earlier, and though many would not consider it cold in the slightest, Cassie shivered as she stepped outside.

It was Rafe's car in the parking lot that she saw first, the same car she saw him driving yesterday. She didn't even want to spare him a glance in that direction. Cassie was so angry she couldn't stand to see his face. It would be days before she'd let herself speak to him again.

She turned, walking down the ramp from the Sheriff's Office as quickly as she could, as not to give him the chance to say anything.

But she heard the door swing open. "Cassie!" He called for her. "Cassie, hey—"

She kept walking, getting on to the sidewalk.

"Cassie, listen—"

But she heard this faint chuckle in his voice. He was laughing. He couldn't even say two words without laughing at her.

And that not only sent her into a state of shock, but it also was what lead her to spin back around and yell. "What is wrong with you?!"

He was shaking his head. "Listen, I didn't know where you were—"

"We were making out in a kitchen not twelve hours ago, and you call Shoupe on me?!"

"I tried to—"

"God! I'm such an idiot it is actually insane to me!"

Rafe had walked over to her in the midst of her yelling, and in the process, he grabbed onto her arms to keep her from flailing them any further. "Will you stop?" He spoke, stern enough to get her to close her mouth for a second.

She yanked her arms away. "What the hell are you doing?" Cassie scoffs, now confused more than anything.

"I didn't know where you were. You weren't answering your phone." He got out, in as calm as a tone he could muster, despite the fact that her yelling had almost driven him off the edge.

Cassie took a few breaths, that same confused look plastered on her face. And just as Rafe thought she was starting to understand, she started yelling again. "So you got me arrested!?"

His shoulders fell, and with that, Cassie had turned back around and continued her charge in the other direction.

"Hey—" Rafe says, coming around to get in her path. "You didn't give me much of a choice." He says, annoyed with her reluctance to understand.

"What do you mean?! I was with my brother, I was—"

"You were putting yourself directly back into Singh's trap."

Cassie remembered Singh's threat over the phone. Every word. Every vowel. Like it had been on a constant loop in her head since he'd said it. 'Let me kindly remind you of what I am capable of if you do decide to interfere in my plans any further.'

"Rafe, it's my fault they got John B's dad." Cassie says, desperate for him to really hear what she meant by that. "I can't just sit there while—"

"Yes, you can."

"No. I can't." Cassie looked at him with disgust. "I was in there all day, terrified. Not just because I didn't know what was going on, or how I was gonna get out of this, but because I—" Cassie shrugged, and shook her head. "I kept wondering how I just keep falling for your tricks—"

Rafe interrupted her quickly. Not wanting that idea in her head any longer. "It wasn't a trick. It wasn't a trick. I panicked. Okay? I called you— I called you all morning and heard nothing, I was out of options."

Cassie pulled her gaze away, taking a second to process it all. This was the last reason she could've imagined.

She turns back to him, part of her wanting to scream some more, the other half finding it somewhat endearing. She got out a single, breathy laugh, before pushing on him, as hard as she could. "You're an asshole."

Rafe barely moved, only pulling his shoulder out of the way of her shove, before he gently latched onto her forearms again and got out a smile. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He repeated. "Seriously, I am."

She shook her head. "I thought I was going to prison. Like, I'm only two months away from being charged as an adult. I don't know how that works—"

"I'm sorry." Rafe says, and although he shouldn't, he found her being so angry amusing. He tugged on her arms and pulled her close to him, leaning down to kiss her.

For just a split second, she kissed him back. Then, like the rest of the world had disappeared, she realized they were just out in the open. On the street, kissing.

Cassie pulled away quickly, then took a step back.

Rafe hadn't come to the same realization, or more likely, he didn't care. He stares at her for a second, then drops his head with a 'huh' kind of scoff.

Cassie glances around nervously, swallowing harshly and hoping that no one saw. "You can't do that." She says, readjusting herself.

Rafe knew he was about to get a lecture he didn't want to hear. "Why not?"

Cassie shrugs. "Because we're in the middle of town. People could see—"

"I don't care."

This was impossible for Cassie to navigate. She nodded, showing Rafe that she understood that, she understood that that wasn't fair to him. Especially when it was her who kissed him last night. Rafe had every right to be confused.

"But what if... I mean— word gets around. What if it got back to Kie, or JJ—"

"What do you think's gonna happen?" Rafe asks.

It was a question Cassie hadn't thought of. Though she'd come to terms with the fact that she did have feelings for Rafe, and wanted to pursue them, she hadn't thought too logically about how this would affect her friends.

"You punched my brother." She said accusingly. Like it was something that just popped into her head. Like she'd completely forgotten that it was Rafe who gave JJ the massive bruise on his jaw.

Rafe let out a loud scoff, realizing another lecture was coming his way. Another back and forth. "He swung at me first."

"And then you kept egging him on." Cassie says. "Will you drive me home?"

Rafe nodded, and in the midst of his defense, he turned to walk with her back to the car. "I could've done a lot worse. But I didn't. For you. Alright?" He followed after her.

This was one of Rafe's least concerning statements. "That's— okay." She starts, but now was not the time for moral arguments on right and wrong.

They got in the car, and Rafe started driving.

"It's gonna take a lot of work for my friends to even come close to understanding how I—" Cassie struggled to word it. "What this is. And it's not gonna be enjoyable. I understand that. But do you understand that if this is something you want to... continue, that you're gonna have to put some effort into righting some wrongs?"

Rafe turned left into the street to her neighborhood. "This is a lot more complex than you think it is though, Cassie. My sister's involved. My dad. I can't just flip a switch and now everything is fine."

"I don't expect that from you, I'm just—"

"I have my problems with them just as much as they have their problems with me. This isn't— it's not a one way thing."

"I understand that—" Cassie said, though it wasn't entirely the truth. Cassie wasn't going to act like Rafe was acting out in response to her friend's actions. This was all a result of his own messed-up way of life. "I understand that. But it would just make me feel a lot better if I knew that you were willing to try."

He wasn't looking at her, he was eyeing each house in her neighborhood to ensure she was brought to the right one. "Try what?"

Her shoulders fell annoyedly. "Try and be better."

Rafe pulled the car into the driveway, put it in park, and then turned to face Cassie. "I'll try." He says. But it wasn't genuine. He was trying to play it sweet. Turn it into something light-hearted so they could move on, but Cassie saw through it.

She wasn't amused, turning to open the car door and get out.

"Hey," Rafe whines, gently grabbing onto her upper arms to turn her back to face him. She looks at him with a frown, and he smiles softly, admiring her. "I mean it." He says after a moment of studying her face.

Cassie still wasn't so sure.

He leaned in and kissed her again, and she felt his hand on her cheek, his pinky finger tucking under her jaw and tilting her head closer.

When they pulled away, Cassie couldn't help the flush she felt coming over her skin. The feeling was still so surreal.

"I want this to work." He said, his tone shifting just slightly. Like he knew this was something he needed to be serious about.

Cassie held onto his wrist where his hand still held her face, where his thumb rubbed her cheekbone, and nodded. "I do too."

There was peace in this quiet moment with him. Peace that she'd forgotten he brought to her life, at a certain cost she'd grown uncomfortably numb to. But she liked it. She liked him. Being with him. Being kissed by him. Being wanted by him.

Cassie glances up at the driveway, looking for that same beat-up maroon car that was usually parked in this spot. Rafe noticed as she thought something over. "What?" He asked.

Cassie hesitated, then spoke. "Do you want to come inside?"

When Rafe's immediate response wasn't yes, her heart sank. He inhaled sharply, then looked at the time on his dashboard, like he'd just remembered he had other plans. "I don't— I gotta deal with some shit."

Cassie would have rather he just told her no, because now she was concerned. "Deal with what?"

Rafe heard the subtle accusation in her voice. He'd been dealing with his dad all day, the reason it'd taken him so long to get back to the Sheriff's Office to get Cassie. He never intended for her to get held there for so long. He was just looking for a way for someone to physically drag her away from something that would get her into even more trouble. But he got sidetracked. Dealing with a man he used to sacrifice everything for. A man who now threatened him, threatened everything he worked so hard for.

He was going to go back to the fishing shack his father had been hiding in. To tell him this was his last chance to get off this island before Rafe took on different measures. But being here, with Cassie, the thought of going back to deal with that sounded like the last thing he wanted to do.

"I can hang for a little bit."

He liked the way she lit up when he said that. "Good." Cassie replied, with a pleased smile, before getting out of the car.

Rafe followed her to the front porch, she had grabbed onto his hand at some point and led him to the door. "Grandma?" She spoke loudly throughout the house. There was no response. "I think she has book club today."

He watched her steadily as she moved about her home, he wasn't sure how he should act in this environment, not yet understanding where they stood. He looked to her for some sort of guidance, and watched as she moved freely to the kitchen, checked the calendar on the fridge, and back to him.

He wondered if this was how she felt at all the times she'd been at Tannyhill. Out of place, waiting for someone to tell her where she was allowed to go or not go. Like she could only follow him around to ensure she didn't anything unwanted.

"She won't be home until seven." Cassie spoke, joining him back at the door and looking up into his eyes.

Rafe met her gaze, processing her words, the sudden confidence in her movements. Just barely did the corners of his lips twitch up into a smile, before Cassie grabbed his hand again and lead him upstairs.

"I reorganized my room the other day." Cassie commented. She was eager to get up there with him, but not wanting to show it. "And finally cleaned out my closet."

They got to the top of the stairs, and Cassie brought him down the hall to her room.

She continued. "I think I'm gonna paint my walls a different color, too."

Rafe walked in behind her, and as she turned around to face him, he shut the door.

"Maybe like a..." Cassie gave up on her fake conversation that she'd brought up to fill the silence, wrapping her arms loosely over Rafe's shoulders, and smiling into a kiss.

Rafe had started leading her to her bed before their lips even connected, his arms snaking around her back and holding her into to him as they stumbled over.

Cassie let out a breathy laugh as the back of her knees hit her mattress, and she unwillingly sat down. Rafe bent down towards her now, softly holding both sides of her head with his hands and breathing her in with his kiss.

He couldn't believe there was ever a time in his life when she wasn't his.

There was something so gentle in her touch, even when she tugged at the hem of his shirt, her movements were so cautious, so delicate.

He kisses her again, then pulls away, and lifts his shirt over his head before leaning back down into her.

Cassie felt her breath hitch. His body engulfed hers as she lay back, the feeling of his skin so close to hers. From there on out, everything was reflex. Every move she made was from this underlying desire for him that she'd held off on for far too long.

Rafe had brought his kisses down to her neck. To know he was on the same page she was, to feel his suddenly intense breathing against her body made her crave him more.

He pulled on her hoodie, moving it out of the way to bring his kisses down lower and trail them across her collarbone. As he kissed her, Cassie struggled her way out of her sweatshirt despite the awkward position. She got it up to her neck before Rafe quickly leaned back to help lift it off of her the rest of the way.

When he lowered himself back into her, the feeling of his body arching into hers made her stomach drop in the best way. Everything had become so messy, and fast-paced, and sloppy. Like they were making up for lost time, trying to take advantage of this moment.

Cassie leaned up against him, syncing herself to the rhythm he had set, moving against him in the ways she knew felt right.

Rafe leaned up, panting, then pulling one of Cassie's pillows down so it sat comfortably under her head. He moved her body with such ease, lifting her up and gently putting her back down like it took nothing. "Better?" He asked, breathless, and eager to lean back in.

At just the mere glimpse of a nod, Rafe connected their lips again, before beginning to bring his kisses down to her stomach. Carefully dotting each one in different spots, feeling her body shudder at the touch.

She curled her head back against the pillow, her hands running through his hair. The feeling of his fingers just barely grazing the top of her shorts, his hands holding her hips.

"Is this okay?" He asked.

Cassie leaned her head up and nodded, just the second it took for him to ask was too long without his touch on her body.

She felt her stomach caving in and out with deep breaths as Rafe started to unbutton her shorts. Her head falling back down against the pillow when she felt him touch her again.

Cassie had been too nervous the first time they did anything that she didn't allow herself to enjoy it. Too nervous she'd do something wrong, or look like she didn't know what she was doing. Because she didn't, and Rafe did. And it was like he found a certain pride in being the one to lead her through it all.

Rafe kept his touches in her as he brought his lips back up to hers, pulling away and leaning his head on hers when she reacted.

Last time she remembered her skin flushed with every noise he unwillingly coerced out of her, spending half of the time trying to keep herself quiet out of embarrassment.

But she didn't do that this time. She learned that Rafe liked hearing her sounds, her shaky exhales and sharp inhales, he liked hearing what he did to her.

Cassie tugged on the back of his neck, feeling her nails dig into his skin for support. But she wanted more. Kissing him, then tucking her chin down to pull away, she spoke. "Do you have a condom?" She asked.

Rafe had already gone back to kissing her before he got an answer out, letting that be his time to think. He pulled away after a moment. "Fuck." He said, in a breathy voice. "No."

Cassie squeezed her eyes shut with a whiney-groan, that eventually turned into a laugh as she pulled him back onto her.

Rafe fell back onto the mattress, and Cassie turned onto her elbows to look at him. He lay down on the pillow beside her with a sigh, then lifted his head up, planted a quick peck on her lips, then lay back down.

Cassie admired him for a long time. The sweet, faint smile on his lips. The way he fidgeted with her blonde hair, how he tucked it behind her ear as she propped her head up on her hand.

She let out a quiet laugh through her nose, trying to get used to this deeply foreign feeling of just plain joy.

"Oh, shit." Cassie hissed through her teeth. Just as the feeling started to finally settle in.

Rafe leaned up confusedly as Cassie pulled herself off the bed and fished for her sweatshirt on the floor. "I need to call my brother." She says as she lifts it back on over her head. "He still thinks I'm in jail." The sentence was odd to get out without context.

Rafe watches her intently. "What are you gonna do?" He asked, and Cassie couldn't tell what his question meant. If Rafe was just simply asking for her plans for the rest of the day. Or if he was asking whether any of his warnings against getting involved with Singh again had stuck.

Cassie didn't answer, just held her phone to her ear and listened to it ring a few times. When she heard it pick up, she looked at Rafe and put a quieting finger to her mouth before beginning to pace.

"It's Cassie." She heard JJ yell, away from the phone. He turned back, his voice louder now. "What the hell happened?!"

She was embarrassed at how easily she'd forgotten about the task at hand. How easily her own desires drew her away for even just a few moments.

"It was—" She glances at Rafe. "I don't know. There was a mix-up at the station. I don't—"

"Ah, shit. So you're telling me you're not actually continuing the family business of felonies?"

Rafe stood from the bed, putting his shirt back on.

"That's not funny." Cassie frowned. She watched Rafe, cautious now about what she said to JJ. "Are you guys... like— what's the plan, are you—"

Rafe turned to face her quickly, shaking his head in discouragement, but Cassie quickly waved him off before he got a word out.

"We're uh—" JJ started. "We're dealing with it. We're like an hour past The Cut."

"What are you doing that far out?"

She could hear JJ try and find a work-around on the other line. "Uhh," he says. "You know? We're working on it. Ran into a few hiccups here and there, but, that's not matters. What matters is that we may have a way to South America if all goes accordingly."

Cassie wondered if Rafe could hear JJ as he spoke. "Okay. Please don't do anything stupid."

JJ scoffs. "I would never."

Cassie takes a breath, Rafe was looking at her, waiting for something that would give him an answer. "I'll—"

"Meet later at The Chateau and we can gameplan." JJ says.

She nods. "Okay, yeah. Sounds good."

Rafe watched as she shoved her phone in her back pocket and continued on like nothing was wrong. She went to her bed and fixed her pillows, moving her blankets back up to where they should be.

"What'd he say?" Rafe asked, nodding towards her.

Cassie shrugged it off. "Nothing. I don't know. We're meeting later to figure it out, I guess."

Rafe didn't seem pleased with this. "His dad would have been caught eventually whether you said anything or not. You don't—"

Cassie walked over to him. "Rafe." She frowned, looking up at him disappointedly. "This is my life. My friends. Please trust that I'm smart enough to make my own decisions—"

"You're all I have."

The words made Cassie stop everything else she was going to say. The vulnerability in his voice, the fear, the desperation.

Her heart ached. There was something so pained in his eyes, like he was practically begging her to understand what he meant by that.

Rafe had no one. His family wanted nothing to do with him. Rose's love was all performance, something she only gave him when Ward was watching. Wheezie flinched every time he walked into a room, speaking to him with careful words as not to set him off. Sarah couldn't even look at him, nothing left there that was worth mending.

He'd finally opened to his eyes to his father's tricks, his manipulations. For so long had Ward gotten Rafe to do his dirty work. In the name of family. But this wasn't a family. It stopped being a family the day his mother passed. And now, Ward was dead to him.

a/n
ok let's chat bc i never leave author's notes on here ! can we talk about how cassie's love language is most definitely words of affirmation (painfully insecure!) and rafe's is physical touch (touch starved!) but this is open for debate.

i've never read any other rafe cameron fics before so i have no idea how other authors handle the whole south america thing bc in the show rafe doesn't go with them so ........ but u don't have to worry about that with me y'all i live to serve ! u will see !

how do ppl usually go about that part in fanfics you've read ??? bc when cassie jumped off the coastal venture and left rafe i got so many comments  like .. 'this happens in every fic🙄' but like what was she gonna do in GUADELOUPE be serious

but im having sm fun writing this fr :'). i am a little scared about how little of season 3 there is left to write about tho omg ?? i've never written a fic based off a show that's still ongoing so like .. i do not know how to leave this off until season 4 comes out .. haha.... help

ALSO u can read this fic on ao3 too! not to compare and contrast my wattpad readers vs my ao3 readers but they're kinda eating u guys up in the comments over there. literally like multiple page analysis' of every chapter..... it's time to step up ur game!

ANYWAYS lol fr thank u for reading and voting and continually showing up for new updates and commenting and such. literally makes my day and keeps me motivated :') love yall

- jane