CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
[31]
song: wherever you go by beach house

Her shoes gave her blisters, and the connection was spotty.

She held the flip phone pinned to her ear to try and hear JJ over the wind, as she made her way past the harbor and toward Figure Eight. A long walk to get her car back from Tannnyhill.

"Can you hear me?" Cassie asked, holding the phone to her ear with her shoulder, as she used her free hands to zip up her blue hoodie.

The morning sun was warm, but not warm enough to fight against the autumn breeze that made her nose run, and her hair stand up on her skin.

"Yes, can you hear me?" JJ responds.

"Mhm." She says, then grabs the phone from her ear, and huffs. "Sorry."

"Are you ever gonna get a new phone?" He asks.

"With whose money?" She scoffs in response, waving at a neighbor pulling in his small fishing boat as she walked by. "And, it's been nice, actually. It's kept me off social media. And I—"

Cassie stops herself, realizing she wasn't calling to have normal, sibling conversation. She was calling to make sure she hadn't gotten John B killed.

"What are you doing today?" She asks, trying to be casual.

"Might go surfing in a little when it warms up. I'm out of wax though." He says. "Wanna come?"

Cassie inhales sharply, squinting as she walks past the beach, the sun reflecting off the water. "Can't today. I'm helping my grandma with some chores." She thinks for a second. "You can't go by yourself though. The swell's too big."

"I know, I know." JJ waves it off, this was not his first time surfing, though Cassie was treating it that way. "John B's coming."

Cassie stopped in her tracks, almost toppling over with relief.

"—Pope too, but I I haven't heard from him since last night since he's with Cleo." JJ says. "I think he's into her."

"You've talked to John B?" Cassie says, leaning up and taking a deep breath.

JJ was quiet for a second. "Yes?" He says. "He's right here."

Cassie heard him talk to John B as he pulled the phone away from his mouth. Saying something along the lines of: 'say hi to Cassie', to which John B told him he might not actually be able to surf today.

"Seriously, dude?" JJ says. "I haven't surfed on a real board in a month."

John B responded, but Cassie couldn't hear what he said.

"Okay, scratch that." JJ huffs. "Looks like I'm not going."

She hears John B respond. "You can still go." He says

"No, that's not safe." Cassie answers for him, butting into a conversation she felt wasn't hers anymore.

"Cassie says that's not safe." JJ says to John B. "And I am all for being safe." He pauses for a moment, and quiet downs a little. "Hey, uh— did you ever talk to your grandma about maybe letting me crash?"

Cassie shuts her eyes and lets out a sigh. "No, I'm sorry, I haven't yet— but I'm sure she won't—"

"No, no, you're good." JJ shakes it off quickly. "You're good. I still have like two weeks left to pay the bills, I can try and come up with some money. Thinking of selling my bike."

"JJ, you're bike? It took you years to save up for that, there's gotta be something else." Cassie says worriedly. "Have you talked to Dale from the marina? Maybe he'll give you your old job back, they're always hiring—"

"Yeah, maybe." He cuts her off, and she could tell he didn't really want to talk about it anymore. "I'll call you later."

Cassie frowns. "Okay, love you."

"Love you too." JJ says, then hangs up.

Cassie huffs, shoving the phone back into her pocket. Despite the circumstances she found herself in, this was the first time in a while that she felt things starting to slow down. The world around her was beginning to feel normal again. Life was familiar for the first time in what felt like forever.

The weather reminded her of past years spending fall on the island. Cool, salty breeze that she could feel through the holes of her knit sweater. She wanted to sit on the beach by the fire with her friends again. And though things weren't perfect yet, John B was still hiding things from the group, and his father was now involved with Singh, she felt that things would all be well again soon.

But Cassie was known for her naivety, so she didn't even begin to let herself hold out too much hope.

She acted like she was just on a long walk as she made her way through Tannyhill. Just passing through, as the women in cars more expensive than everything she owned combined stared her down. Sometimes, she felt like she had 'Maybank' painted on her forehead in red, like some sort of warning.

At the front gates, Cassie called Rafe instead of clicking the buzzer. She grew anxious, all sorts of outcomes rushing through her. The chances of him not even being here, let alone in this country, growing higher with each ring. And that almost felt like the easier outcome, the less pain-staking one in comparison to him just not wanting to see or talk to her after last night.

After she'd practically begged him to stay the night with her since she was too scared to sleep on her own. And standing here, in front of his mountain of a house, she felt herself growing smaller and smaller.

"Hello?" He answers.

She inhales sharply, almost forgetting the possibility of him actually answering. "Hey, it's Cassie—"

"Oh," he says. "Is that you at the gate?"

She turns and looks up, seeing the door on the second floor balcony open, Rafe stepping out. Her breath hitches, and she nods. "Yeah, I'm— I need my car."

She sees him nod, and pull his phone from his ear.

Did he feel just as nervous as she did? Did he regret last night, telling her all of that? Staying? Or was it nothing to him?

She didn't know which way she wanted him to feel.

She hears the gate click, and it starts to slowly creak open.

"I'll be down in a sec." Rafe says, and Cassie nods and hangs up.

She wondered if he was lonely in this house by himself, as she walked up the long driveway toward the front, where the palm leaves on the porch were starting to wither in their pots.

"Did you walk here?" Rafe asks, as he swings open the front door and walks out onto the porch. He wore a white shirt, with the old Ralph Lauren logo embroidered on the pocket. His skin was tan, moving with such ease.

Cassie wasn't sure why seeing him felt so strange now. Nothing had really happened last night, yet she bore the guilt like something had.

She scratched the back of her neck, and nodded. "Yeah."

He shrugs. "Why didn't you call me? I would've picked you up."

A good question that she could give so many different answers to. 'Because I didn't want to bother you.' 'Because you snuck out this morning without saying anything.' 'Because we're not friends.' 'Because whatever you think is happening, isn't.'

"I don't mind." She says, waving it off and walking towards the car.

Rafe steps off the porch quickly, not wanting that to be it. Not wanting her to just show up, and leave so soon. "Hold on, you left this." He says.

Cassie looks up, about to get in the car, when Rafe heads back inside, leaving the front door open. She took that as an invitation to follow, though she wasn't sure why she did.

"Have you—" Cassie starts, slowly walking towards the kitchen where she heard him rummaging around. "I thought you would've left by now. To Guadeloupe."

As Cassie appears in the doorway, Rafe turns to face her, he almost looked offended she'd think he'd do that. Just up and leave like that. And it almost made her feel sad.

He shook his head, walking over to her in the doorway with the CD she'd left in his car in his hand. She takes it from him, and lets out a small laugh. "Thanks."

He looks at her— no— he observes her, in a way that made her uneasy, made her fear that she'd gotten herself into an awkward conversation she couldn't so easily get out of.

"Singh called me." Rafe says.

Cassie's silence worked well enough as a response.

"Said we're off the hook." He continued.

She nodded. "Yeah, me too. This morning."

He nodded slightly, eyes still on her as if he was trying to read into it further. "And it's because of you, you know?" He says. "You saved our lives."

Cassie shook her head quickly, waving it off. "No I didn't, they—"

"You did." Rafe reiterated, nodding toward her to ensure he was really hearing him. "And I know you feel guilty about it, Cassie. About—" he stops, eyeing her as her gaze falls to the ground. "They would've gotten to him one way or another."

Cassie nodded, though his words brought her no comfort. There was little anything, especially Rafe, could say that would make her feel any less in the wrong. But it was over now, what's done is done, and there was no use dwelling on it. Or at least that's what she was continuously telling herself.

After a moment, after Rafe realized it was no use trying to force his own views on the world onto her, he changed the topic. "And I'm not going." He says. "To Guadeloupe."

Cassie narrows her eyebrows. "You're not?"

Rafe shakes his head as he steps away, grabbing his phone off the counter. "Talked to my dad this morning. Wants me to stay here for a while longer and finish things off with the company. Sell the house."

Cassie stepped further into the kitchen as Rafe goes through his phone. "Are you—" she couldn't believe it. "Are you going to? Where's Sarah gonna go?"

He looks up from his phone like she'd just spat an insult at him. "That's not my problem." He says.

Cassie shakes her head, not wanting him to think this way. "You're not serious, Rafe." She almost scoffs. "This is your home. This is—" and she stops, knowing it wasn't her place.

Rafe taps the edge of his phone as he thinks for a moment. "He's donating the cross, too." He adds, like it was the final blow.

Cassie was quiet for a few seconds, letting it process. And Rafe found amusement in watching her gears turn, just as his did when his father told him. "You're joking." She says.

He shrugs, he'd gone through these stages of denial already.

"All that shit that happened because of the cross and he's just— donating it?! Getting rid of it?!" She was taken aback.

"He said it's for the family's good karma." Rafe continues. He was speaking, but his mind was elsewhere, deep in thought.

"Good karma? Good karma would be giving it to the family it was stolen from— the family it belongs to." Cassie says.

He looks at her, eyes narrowing just slightly. "Pope?"

"Who else?" She shrugs frustratedly. He turns back to his phone, letting out a quiet laugh that came out as more of a hum. And she watched him, confused. "Am I wrong?"

"They're shipping it into Wilmington by train tonight." Rafe says, ignoring her. "It's done."

Cassie clenches her jaw, watching as he pulls out a notepad and pen from one of the kitchen drawers, and writes down something he was reading from his phone.

"And I have to be the one to pick it up and take it to the museum in Charlotte, so." He says as he writes, unamused.

Cassie eyes the notepad as he glances from his phone and back to it. Plain curiosity leading her to a risky thought. One that felt less and less out of reach the more she thought it through. In blue ink, read 'Raleigh to Wilmington, car 750X.'

"It's all bullshit." He leans up, and drops the pen.

Cassie thinks for a moment. "You're picking it up tonight?"
He nods, and she started to nod with him. "Yeah, that sucks. I'm sorry." She says, as she takes a step away and points out the door. "I gotta get the car back to my place. My grandma's waiting on me."

Rafe nods, scratching the back of his neck as he gestures toward the door, insinuating she can let herself out.

She takes a breath, and taps the CD in her hands, before she walks out to the hallway. She was reaching for the front door when she turned back around to speak, Rafe not far behind to lock it after she leaves.

"Rafe, I don't think you should sell the house. Or— any of that stuff." She starts. "Your dad can't come back here, I get that. But that doesn't mean— that doesn't mean that your life here is over, you know?"

Rafe blinked a few times, almost taken aback by the sudden tonal shift. He was quiet, but he nodded, and Cassie took it as her moment to leave.

And when Cassie left, when she'd pulled her car out of the driveway and out of Rafe's sight, she called Sarah and left a message.

"Can you meet? I need to talk to you."

—

Sarah waited at the table as Cassie juggled an iced coffee, a matcha latte and two bagels in her hands. She walked from the pick-up counter to where Sarah sat on the outside deck.

Seagulls swarmed overhead, as the nearby ships bobbed in the water, knocking into the wooden docks surrounding them. Cassie held the door open for someone as they made their way inside the coffee shop, before finally rejoining Sarah.

"Thank you." Sarah said chirpily, accepting the iced coffee from Cassie, scooting it toward her. "I seriously craved this every morning on the island."

Cassie took the wrapping off her straw. "Oh my god don't even remind me." She scoffs, then takes a sip. "I just craved anything that wasn't fish or charred coconut." She almost gagged thinking about it.

Sarah gestured to Cassie's mouth. "What happened to your lip?" She asks.

Cassie forgot the gaping cut and quickly forming bruise was even there. She instinctively went to cover it up. "Oh, I uh— I ran into a door." She shook it off, playing embarrassed.

She couldn't tell if Sarah believed her or not, but it didn't seem like she wanted to pry.

Sarah looks around at the harbor as the table umbrella above them shielded the sun from their eyes. "What'd you wanna talk about?" She asks, turning back to face Cassie.

Cassie took a breath, hoping Sarah had forgotten that's why they met up. It was beginning to feel a lot harder now that she was sitting in front of her. "I um—" she starts. "I'm telling you this because I can trust you not to get mad, or— and because I know you won't tell anyone, but—"

Sarah look worried. "What?"

Cassie wished Sarah wouldn't look so afraid. It made it that much harder to get out. "Your brother is still here. He's been staying at Tannyhill since he brought me home from Barbados."

Sarah was still for a few seconds, then she leaned back in her seat, her eyes falling to the ground.

Cassie continued. "And I've—"

Sarah sits back up. "You've seen him?"

Cassie wasn't sure if Sarah was accusing her of something, or if she was just looking for confirmation, but she nodded. "Yes." She says.

Sarah nods slowly. She opens her mouth to respond, but stops herself as a different question pops in her head. She hesitates, but asks anyways. "And have you..." She begins. "Have you talked to him?"

Cassie was anxiously tapping her foot underneath the table. "I have, but—"

Sarah looked like she could've collapsed. "Cassie." She says, disappointed.

Cassie shook her head quickly. "It's not like that— listen—" she says. "Things got bad after the plane crash, and he was there, and it was just— it was hard on me. On us."

Sarah's eyebrows stitched together in concern. "What? What are you talking about?—"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter anymore." Cassie says. She probably could've left that part out to avoid straying thoughts. "But that's why I've seen him, I needed..." she started to trail off, not sure what she was trying to say.

Sarah waited for a few moments, then spoke again. "Someone to talk to?"

Cassie felt bad, but it was the truth. She nodded.

Sarah frowned. "Cas, you can talk to us. You can talk to me."Her voice was quieter now.

Cassie inhaled sharply. "I know, I know." But it wasn't the truth. "But listen, Sarah. I went by Tannyhill this morning, and he told me—"

"Are you guys... a thing again?" She interrupts.

"Sarah." Cassie says sternly.

"Sorry." She responds.

Cassie took another breath. "Your dad wants to donate the cross to a museum in Charlotte. Trying to right his wrongs, or something."

Sarah's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."

Cassie shook her head, and as she started to respond, she noticed Sarah's eye had caught glance of something behind Cassie. "Hi, guys." Sarah says, and Cassie leans away, turning around to see two girls approaching their table.

Cassie only recognized one of them, Hannah. But both were unmistakably Kooks. To the blind eye, you wouldn't be able to tell. All the girls on the island had the same casual attire. Swimsuits under sweatshirts, knit sweaters, big denim shorts and sneakers.

The difference was those sweatshirts had no frayed stitching, and they sported logos by brands Cassie couldn't pronounce. Those denim shorts, though they looked distressed, they were bought that way, and didn't actually have holes from wear. The sneakers were spotless and brand new, the sweaters had no small knots from broken fibers. And you'd never see these girls in the same outfit twice, which is why everything they had looked like it'd just come out of the box.

Cassie couldn't help but notice the pity glances towards her as the girls walked up to Sarah. Hannah, pretty, with golden blonde-brown hair like Sarah's, bent down and embraced Sarah in a hug.

"Sarah, I was freaking out." Hannah says. "I seriously haven't slept since you went missing, and then I saw it on the news you were back and I literally almost broke down into tears."

"Is it true you were on a deserted island?" The other girl spoke up.

Sarah glances at Cassie and then back to the girls, nodding. "Mhm."

"Oh my god." The girl says, in disbelief. "But you were there with your boyfriend, right? That had to have been so fun."

Sarah spared Cassie another knowing glance, then she nodded again. "So fun." She said after a small sigh. "Great food, comfortable beds. Got a good tan."

The sarcasm went over the girl's heads. "No parents." Hannah adds. Cassie shot the girl a look, and Hannah's eyes widened as she shook her head quickly. "Oh my god, no— I didn't mean it like that."

Sarah waved it off. "It's fine."

Hannah inhaled sharply, and the other girl had turned her body toward Sarah to unintentionally, or intentionally, physically cutting Cassie off from the conversation.

"Well," Hannah starts again. "There's that party at Kelce's parent's house tonight, I'm sure everyone would love to see you. You should come."

Sarah wasn't amused by the girl's attempts to leave out Cassie. She sends them a forced smile, then gestures to her. "You guys know Cassie, right?" She says.

The girls turn and look at her, smiling and nodding. "Yeah, how are you?" They ask.

Cassie matches their sad attempts at coming off as kind. "I'm good." She says.

"You should come too." Hannah adds, glancing at Sarah, and the back to Cassie. "You know Kelce, right?"

Cassie then immediately recognized the other girl standing there. One of the girls that was there the day JJ and Kelce got in a fight at The Island Club, and lost Cassie her job.

Cassie nodded, and forced another smile.

"Good to see you guys." Sarah butts in, putting an end to this interaction.

Sarah waits until the girls went inside before she let her head fall into her arms crossed over the table, a loud groan falling from her lips.

Cassie laughed, taking another sip from her matcha as Sarah slowly and reluctantly sat back up. "She was always such a bitch to me in school, too." Sarah says, dumbfounded. "She convinced half the volleyball team I was the reason they all got crabs."

Cassie's eyes widened slightly and she tried to stifle her laugh. "Shut up."

Sarah nodded eagerly. "It was disgusting. And so not my fault?"

Cassie laughed. "I'm shocked, they seemed so nice just then."

"Right?" Sarah says, turning around to watch the two girls ordering inside.

As the joking died down, the realization that now was not the time for silly high school gossip kicked back in. There were bigger things at stake than rumors and parties. At least for Cassie and Sarah, the rest of Kildare carried on as usual. And while it was fun— even just for a few seconds— to look back at a time where their biggest worry was school, it just wasn't their life anymore.

Sarah let out a huff, and turned back around to face Cassie. "Anyways." She says. "He's donating the cross?"

"Yes." Cassie says. "Rafe wasn't happy about it, either. But listen, it's being shipped in by train from Raleigh tonight."

Sarah was thinking. "So?"

"So what if we got it from the train..."

"Train robbery?" Sarah almost laughs. "That's our approach?"

"We jumped off a boat, lived on a deserted island, survived a plane crash, I feel like train robbery is pretty mild in comparison." Cassie responds.

"There's like a one in a hundred chance we find the car that has the cross." Sarah shrugs. Cassie gives her a look, and Sarah's eyes widened. "He told you?!"

"It's in 750X, I saw him write it down."

Sarah was smiling, in disbelief. "Cassidy Maybank!" She says loudly, in a fake-scolding tone.

Cassie went to shush her, looking around embarrassedly. "Oh my god, quiet, we're literally planning to rob a train right now."

Sarah quieted down, but the look didn't leave her face. "Have you told JJ?"

And then the tone shifted again. Cassie shook her head quickly. "And you can't tell him either. Not about me, at least. About Rafe."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want them knowing that I'm—" Cassie couldn't word it. "That I've talked to Rafe, or— I just don't want anyone getting any ideas. But I had to tell you this. This has to happen."

Sarah was serious, nodding along with her. "Okay. Okay, I'll just say I went by Tannyhill, and I heard him talking on the phone." Sarah says, she thinks for a moment. "Wait, tonight?"

Cassie nodded. "Yes, it's coming in and he's picking it up tonight. So we'll all have to find a way around him."

Sarah started shaking her head. "No, no that won't work. He'll be there the second that train comes in."

"So we have to stop the train before it gets to Wilmington." Cassie says. "My uncle used to throw chains on train tracks when he was drunk for no reason. 'Cause it'll stop an entire train line. I don't know why, but—"

"That is so illegal." Sarah shakes her head.

"Yeah, all of this is." Cassie laughs. "But we have to get that cross. For Pope. We need everyone on it, we'll need a truck, and the boys to lift it, and look-outs, and..." she trailed off.

Sarah wasn't as enthusiastic as Cassie was, not as convinced with this plan just yet. "I don't like that he's the one picking it up. If he hears the train stopped he'll be right on our toes."

She was talking about Rafe. Cassie tapped her finger on the table as she thought it over. "Maybe I can convince him to pick it up tomorrow instead? I don't know? There's probably—"

Sarah perked up at this, nodding eagerly. "Wait, yes. You have to distract him."

Cassie was taken aback. "No, that's not what I meant—"

"You're the only person who'll be able to stop him from going tonight. You just have to keep him busy for a few hours while we get the cross."

Cassie didn't even want to begin with the argument that he'd chosen the cross over her once before, but Sarah was raising a good point. "And tell everyone what?" She says.

Sarah didn't hear her, already on to her next point. "Kelce's party."

Cassie wasn't sure what she was suggesting.

Sarah continued. "Go to Kelce's party with him, and—"

"That could get messy..."

"That's the easiest way to do it— he used to party with Kelce all the time. Just... get him drunk and hopefully he'll pass out, or something." Sarah shrugs.

Cassie didn't like the idea of using Rafe's willingness to drink more than necessary against him. It felt wrong. It felt like something he would do. And already she felt like going behind his back like this was sailing too close to his own morals. Like he was rubbing off on her.

"There's no way showing up to a Kook party with your brother isn't going to end in disaster." Cassie pleads.

"Do you have a better idea?" Sarah seemed like she was genuinely asking. Like she was just as desperate for a better solution than the one she'd proposed.

But both of them fell silent, knowing that this truly was their only option. And Cassie couldn't find any means to continue arguing. It was the least she could do given half of the reason Ward even had the cross still was because of her. If this is what it took to even barely make up for what she'd done, she'd do it.

a/n 🎁🎄
this is probably my last update until the holidays are over! i'll be with my family celebrating christmas and nye so i won't have time to write </3 hope everyone has a fun and safe next couple weeks :) thank u for reading 🩷
- jane