―

―

The Glee Club, minus Rachel, stood in the choir room, gathered around the piano.

"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked.

"She's not here yet." Finn told him.

"Perfect," Kurt smiled, "Glee club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution: swirlies, patriotic wedgies..."

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes asked.

"It's when they hoist you up the flag pole by your undies." Finn answered.

"Strangely, it did make me feel more American." Artie nodded.

"Yeah, but getting you down wasn't fun." Hunter said.

"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti-glee-club terror. I've done a little library research," Kurt informed the club, showing them pages from the Thunderclap, "Peter Gellar. Glee Club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler moustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."

"Patches?" Quinn asked.

Kurt nodded, "Patches."

Looking at Quinn, Hunter muttered, "Good thing we bought him a sandwich last week."

"He barks at my mom." Brittany said.

"Exhibit B: Tawny Peterson," Kurt showed them, "Glee Club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that, in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."

"Agreed." Hunter nodded, as Mr. Schuester entered the choir room.

"Oh, hey, guys," He smiled, "Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?"

Artie nodded, "It's really unsettling."

"And totally unfair. Hey, can I borrow one of these?" Their teacher asked, taking a yearbook from Kurt, "You know what? This year's Thunderclap is going to have a glee club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it." He promised the club, before leaving the room determined.

The Glee kids shared uneasy looks, as Hunter sighed, "Well, there goes that plan."

―

Mr. Schuester addressed the Glee Club, as he entered the choir room, "Hey, guys! Great news! Glee club gets a photo in the thunderclap," He smiled, only to be answered with fake enthusiasm, "Yep. It's going to show everyone at the school that glee club is on its way up. When we win regionals, those claps are going to be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs. But, I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in back. Which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote! Exciting, huh? All right!"

Turning to Mercedes, Hunter said, "I think we've found a way to dodge that one."

―

The next day, the club was gathered in the choir room.

"Well, we're all here. I guess we should vote." Mercedes shrugged.

Rachel then stood up, "With your permission, I have prepared a few words."

"I nominate Rachel." Mercedes quickly said, shutting her up.

"Second." Kurt nodded.

"All right, let's vote up in this piece. I gotta go hit the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone for the football picture." Puck said, as everyone put their votes in the hat.

"That's gross." Hunter told him, as Mr. Schuester counted up the votes.

"Looks like everybody voted for Rachel," Mr. Schue sighed, "Including Rachel. But, we need two captains, guys."

"Why two?" Quinn asked, "We're fine with having Rachel represent us in the Thunderclap by herself."

Kurt nodded rapidly, "We'd actually prefer it."

―

Hunter was sat with Katie in the library, helping her with her Algebra homework, as Rachel waltzed over to them with a wide smile.

"Hello, Hunter," Rachel greeted him, "And Katie."

Katie nodded at the older girl, "Hey, Rachel."

"So," Rachel started, turning to Hunter with a grin, "I was thinking and realised that you have the ability to be a great leader, and-"

"Sorry, Rach," Hunter cut her off, "I genuinely would be in the yearbook picture with you, but my parents are taking me out of school on Thursday for a family day."

Rachel frowned, "Oh."

"I really am sorry." Hunter told her.

"That's okay." Rachel muttered.

"But I'm sure that if you ask Finn, he'd say yes." The boy added, trying to cheer her up.

"Right," Rachel nodded, plastering a smile on her face, "Thanks, Hunter. Bye." She said, before walking away, making Hunter groan and faceplant into his notes.

"Hey, don't feel bad." Katie the sophomore, making him glance up at her.

"That's a bit hard, considering I do." Hunter frowned.

"Look, everyone else has made up lies to blow her off, but you genuinely can't make it," Katie shrugged, "There's nothing more you can do."

"Yeah," Hunter sighed, "Thanks."

"Anytime."

―

Hunter sat in the park with his parents, the three of them sitting on a picnic blanket, Jonathan tucking gleefully into a sandwich, Elizabeth sketching and Hunter constantly checking his phone.

To Miss Piggy: has he shown up yet?

"Hunter," Elizabeth softly called the boy's name, making him look up, "Are you sure you're alright."

"Hm?" Hunter hummed, looking between his parents and his phone, before nodding, "Yeah, yeah. Just a lot on my mind. Sorry."

His phone then buzzed.

From Miss Piggy: No :(

From Miss Piggy: Looks like I'll be doing this picture by myself

A frown etched it's way onto Hunter's face, making Jonathan and Elizabeth share a look.

"Is this about that picture thing with Rachel?" His father wondered.

"Yeah," Hunter nodded, still looking at his phone, "Finn bailed on her."

Sharing a smile with her husband, Elizabeth said, "Hunter, go."

"W-What?" Hunter asked, "No. I'm spending time with you guys today."

"Hunt, the school is a two minute walk away," Jonathan told him, "The picture will take five minutes. Go and take it with Rachel and then by the time you come back here we'll have a brownie ready and waiting."

Glancing over at his mother, Hunter still felt conflicted.

The woman smiled softly at him, "Go." She said.

Hunter nodded, standing up, shoving his phone into his pocket, "I'll be right back. Don't eat my brownie!"

―

"I'm ready." Rachel nodded at Dennis - the photographer - about to take her photo, when the door opened and panting Hunter stood at the door.

"Sorry I'm late," He said, resting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath, "I ran from the park." He added, moving towards Rachel, only to be tackled in a hug by the girl.

Looking up at him, she whispered, "Thank you."

Hunter smiled, patting her back, "Come on, granny tights. We've got a picture to take."

"What happened to toddler tights?"

"What kind of toddler wears crotched tights?"

―

Quinn smiled at Hunter, as he finished styling her hair for the mattress commercial.

"Why thank you, Mr, Co-Captain."

"Oh, shut up," Hunter chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, his free hand fiddling with the hem of the pyjama shirt that he was wearing, "Hey, do you think this shade of blue compliments my skin tone?"

Quinn laughed at the boy, as the Mattress Land owner, Mr. Cusperberg, walked over to them, Dennis in tow.

"Okay, guys, we're very excited to have you here. We here at mattress land believe that mattresses aren't just for sleeping and fornicating anymore. We believe that buying an affordable mattress should be fun." The older man smiled.

"All right, let's go over the script. I think it's pretty brilliant. I wrote it myself," Dennis smiled, "Action!"

"'Ah, me.'" Finn acted. Badly.

"'What's wrong?'" Mercedes exclaimed.

"'We just lost our jobs at the factory.'" Hunter frowned, acting quite well.

"'And we can't get a good night's sleep.'" Puck added.

"'Chipper up! Come on down to mattress land. We've got near-wholesale prices to fit your style and pocketbook!'" Rachel then stopped over enthusiastically reading the script, stopping the bad acting from continuing, "I-I'm sorry. Mr. Cusperberg, this script is brilliant, but we're a glee club, and we should perform."

"Perform the lines as I wrote them." Dennis told her.

Mr. Cusperberg held his hand out towards Dennis, "Wait a minute, Dennis. What did you have in mind?"

[ jump, performed by the new directions ]

"Come on down to mattress land!" Mr. Cusperberg prompted them from behind the camera.

"Come on down to mattress land!" The Glee Club repeated, wide grins on their faces.

―

The Glee Club frowned, as Mr. Schuester stood in front of them after the revelation of their rule break.

"But, we don't want to go to sectionals without you." Artie voiced their thoughts.

"It's without me or not at all," Mr. Schue shrugged with a sigh, "Look, I was the one who slept on the mattress, which means I accepted them, not you. Which means I'm disqualified from competition, not you guys."

"He's taking the bullet for us. Solid." Puck nodded.

"We have worked too hard for you guys not to get your shot." Mr. Schue told them.

"We can't do this without you, Mr. Schue," Finn frowned, "Hell, we probably can't do it with you."

"That's not true," Mr. Schue replied with a shake of his head, "You guys are good. You're really good. You did "Jump" for that commercial without me, right? Look, the best teachers don't give you the answers. They just point the way and let you make your own choices. Your own mistakes. That way you get all the glory. And you deserve it. Look, if... If you can't win without me there, then I haven't done my job."

"We're really sorry, Mr. Schue." Rachel voiced their thoughts.

"I know," Their teacher nodded with a small smile, "I want you guys to go get gussied up and take that glee club photo with pride. I want to see a smile on every one of your faces."

Turning to Hunter, Mercedes asked, "Can you do my hair for the picture?"

"And mine?" Quinn added.

"Ooh, me too." Rachel nodded.

Standing up, Hunter said, "Line up ladies, the choir room is now Hunter's Hair Salon."