Sounds like the name of an epic book

But no

It's just a story

I was literally fading into sleep after a half-hour of trying, and then my sister just starts SCREAMING at the top of her f*cking lungs.

Of course, I woke up immediately, and was *holds up thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart* this close to doing this:

Walking downstairs, gouging her eyes out with my middle fingers, ripping her lungs out and sewing them back in with a rusty needle and low-quality thread, then yelling at her for a long time

You can't judge me I was sleep-deprived and irritated already.