I have to use a special ed computer at school this year. Last year I was diagnosed with dyspraxia (it's a one in eight thing idk why I need a computer for it but hey the school board said I needed one so-), So now I'm using one for 3rd year. I know it's important I use it, since 3rd year is an exam year with tons of writing, but that won't stop me from being anxious about it ;D

I'm just so scared on what other people will think of me if I just whip out a brand spanking new computer to take notes in class. I know it won't end well. It never has. 

Knowing that, and probably the shock of giving into self harm last night was probably what put me on the verge of an anxiety attack during English class today.

I usually have an exercise to calm me down, lest I do go into an attack, but I have to be alone and out of the situation in order for me to calm down. Seeing as I couldn't do that, I just started to panic my breathing became uneven. I usually know when I'm about to have an attack when my vision gets blurry or I get really light headed, and that luckily didn't happen.

It still upset me though, and still drained a lot of energy. So now I'm here, eating cheese and crying.