Chapter 7

In the black and white scenery, a young woman grabbed her long billowing skirts and started dancing across the field. In the eyes of anyone, she could've been insane. Through the thin haze of smoke, I watch her in silence as she moved her hands, hips, and feet gracefully.

I dropped my gaze to her bare feet. Only when I squinted my eyes at the poor light had I seen the cuts and bruises. Her feet are wounded, bleeding. But she continued to dance to the nonexistent music. There was passion in every move, resentment in every turn of the head, and melancholy in every flick of the wrist.

The sorrow swelled at my chest watching her dance lonely and with no one to share the passion with. A swift turn of the head and the crystal drops at her ears winked in the darkness when it caught a tiny flicker of light.

I felt a longing. An unknown feeling crept to my chest as she moved gracefully. I discovered I had no voice when I decided to speak to her. That, or I couldn't hear it. Because she turned. She turned to face me fully and I discovered that the woman I've been watching for a while shares the same face with me.

Nilunok ko ang nag-aambang sigaw na tatakas sana sa aking lalamunan nang buksan ko sa wakas ang mga mata. Butil-butil ng pawis ang namumuo sa noo ko at nanunuot sa balat ko habang hinahabol ko ang aking hininga.

I stared blankly at the sheets. My palms are sweaty. Wiping it at the sheets, I blew out a deep breath. Medyo nanginginig pa rin ang mga kamay ko. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes and let a few seconds pass before my legs regained its strength and led me to the kitchen.

Tahimik at malamig. Not a single soul can be seen here. All of them must've retired to bed early and in this ungodly hour, only disturbed folks are awake trying to kill their bothering thoughts.

Maingat ang paglalakad ko papunta sa kusina, takot nab aka makalikha ng ingay at magising ang mga natutulog na mga kasama. I turned left and into the kitchen when I collided into something... or someone.

Years of controlling my temper made me suck on a deep breath instead of screaming when a faceless stranger from the dark grabbed my arms to prevent me from falling. I took a step back, my knees buckling at the bite of his hands to my arms. Only when he stepped into the light that recognition dawned on my face and fear suddenly evaporated.

"Leviticus!"

A wide grin plastered on his face, he used his hand still holding my arm to pull me closer and engulf me into a hug. Bumukas-sarado ang bibig ko, hindi alam kung ano ang dapat na sabihin. In the end, I hugged him back and let out a cry of delight at the sight of a person I've been missing for years as well.

"Kailan ka pa dumating?" tanong ko sa kaniya nang magkahiwalay na kami.

He'd grown taller, just like his brother. He shares the same deep-set raven eyes with Zeus and raw-boned face. Only his crew cut and polite smile separates the two of them. While Zeus is someone a woman would fantasize of, Levi is someone a young girl would admire and would like to be her husband someday. Based on the posture and the mild humor glinting in his eyes, the well-mannered Levi has never changed.

"Kaninang madaling araw." He pressed his pointing finger to his lips and let the air whistled between his teeth. "Ssh. I'm trying to surprise Mom and Dad tomorrow morning. Huwag mong sasabihing nakita mo ako."

I grinned and nodded. Yes, nothing has changed. Nginisihan niya din ako. He stared at my hair but made no comment, so I decided to explain it myself since I could see the question in his eyes.

"I took off my hijab, Levi. I'm no longer a Muslim."

He didn't answer for a moment. Pinanuod ko siyang umatras at bumalik sa kusina. This time, he flicked the lights open and reached for the mugs in the cupboard. Giving me a sideway glance, he stared again.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Why?"

Sa pagkakataong ito, ako naman ang nangapa ng sagot sa dilim. Levi poured coffee into two mugs and handed me the other one. Tinanggap ko ito at tumitig sa kape bago ako nakabuo ng matinong sagot.

"For your brother."

He nodded again. "That's your decision. While I'm not one to make comments concerning religions and politics, I am glad that my brother's waiting game has not been in vain."

Pahapyaw na ngiti lang ang isinagot ko sa kaniya.

"And how about the guy you married before?"

"You mean, Malik?"

Tumango si Levi at sumimsim sa sariling kape.

"He has a daughter now, a ball of sunshine named Tamara. Though, his wife died giving birth of her... I can see that he's happy and contented."

"That's good to know." One of the corners of his lips lifted up in a discreet smirk.

Napanguso ako. "Ikaw? Kumusta ka?"

"Oh, you know. Just taking things easy. Next year I'll be taking my specialization. Ilang taon pa rin ang ikakayod ko bago pa ako matawag na doktor."

I grinned at him. "I'm glad to see you in good health, Leviticus."

He scrunched his nose when I called him his real name, and I laughed but never bothered to correct it. Inubos ko na ang laman ng kape ko at hinugasan ang mug. With the amount of caffeine in my body right now, I know it is next to impossible to fall asleep again. And it's almost dawn. Siguro ay maghihintay nalang akong mag-umaga.

"Anyway, I should go back to my room."

He nodded. I waved one last time at him before I stepped back into the darkness and find my way back to my room.

Nang mag-umaga na ay nanghahapdi ang sulok ng mga mata ko. I keep on yawning while we were having breakfast. Levi surely delighted his parents at his early arrival. Tita Belle shed tears of joy at the sight of her son and having the two of them in the house even just for a while.

The house was filled with laughter, and even though Zeus initially planned to stay here for just two days, it got extended. I could hear Addy scolding him from the other line when he informed his manager that he wouldn't be able to make it tomorrow. Sa susunod na araw pa kaming dalawa uuwi.

I got a private call from Chairman Fresco as well. Kinakamusta niya ako. I told him I'm doing well and I'm enjoying my vacation. One of the kids, Rita, talked to me as well. She's keeping me tabs of what's happening in the village. Napapangiti ako sa tuwing nababanggit niya ang mga magagandang nangyayari. Even if it's just small things.

Rita is a girl of high dreams. When I first found her, she was desperately sucking on the meat of dead clams washed by the shore because of extreme hunger. Our relationship is rocky at first, because she is guarded. But once I've made it clear that I am a friend and I ought to help her, she became one of my favorite students. She keeps on asking things about the big city, telling me how it looks like, how it feels like to be in a place swarmed with crowd and how different her life is compared to them.

Much as I am teaching her to the extent of my knowledge, she is teaching me, too, in her own ways. And she's one of the many reasons why I'm still grateful for the life I had.

Kanina ko pa pansing balisa si Zeus at halos hindi mapakali. Every glance at him, every turn, he would avert and lower his gaze. Gusto ko sana siyang kausapin at itanong kung anong problema pero hindi ko naman magawa dahil maraming nakaaligid sa kaniya nang makarating kami sa Davao para sa flight namin patungong Maynila.

Some of the reporters are there, too. The moment I stepped out of the van, they were furiously snapping pictures of the two of us. The flashes blinded me for a bit. They were throwing questions at us, asking if we were dating. Zeus answered none of them and entertained his fans for a bit before we were escorted to the plane waiting for us. Addy assured us that she'll be the one to take care of the reporters.

Kinuha ni Zeus ang maliit kong traveling bag mula sa mga kamay ko nang hindi nagsasalita, dahilan upang mapatingin ako sa kaniya. I blinked, and then followed him inside. His shoulders are tensed and if not for the two bags that he's carrying right now, I might as well see his fists clenching and unclenching.

Hindi ako umimik hanggang sa makasakay na kami at makaupo nang maayos. Someone talked to him and we were escorted to a more private area of the plane. Some of the people who recognized him inside asked for an autograph, while some were discreetly taking pictures of him.

Nang makaupo na kami ay saka ko pa hinigit ang lakas ng loob na tanungin siya kung anong problema. I'm sure something's bothering him, but for some reason, I don't know what or why.

"May problema ba tayo, Zeus?"

Tumigil ang kamay niyang inaayos ang nagkagulong ear pods at tumitig siya rito. After a few seconds of silence, he turned to me.

"Problema?"

"Oo. Kanina ka pa tahimik," puna ko sa maliit na boses. Him being this distant to me makes me feel a little unwanted. Para bang gusto niya nalang akong mawala sa paningin niya. I can't do as he wishes, though. We're riding the same plane and until we arrive at Manila, he'll be seeing my face.

He sighed and then raked a frustrated hand through his hair. "So you've noticed."

I nibbled my lower lips. I couldn't read his eyes. Ten years of being apart and there are still parts of him that I've yet to discover. There are still attitudes of Zeus that surprises me. It's like abandoning your favorite doll when you were a little and inspecting it again now that you're a grown adult, wondering what made you liked the doll so much, what makes it so precious to you.

"Okay, listen..." he let out a shaky breath. I remained silent, readying myself for him to send me away. I know we will part sooner or later, but I never expected it this early. He may try to decorate his words but I know what he's about to tell me. That we need to go on our separate worlds and our reconciliation is just a touch of our sweet memories before, not a continuation of what we had.

"I talked to Chairman Fresco last night. He confirmed that you're going back to Zamboanga in a few days."

"That's right."

"How long will you be staying there?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm a volunteer, Zeus. I need to be there for the kids."

"We'll be going to Canada next week for the tour." He said in a murmur.

I blinked and then stared at him. Rare are the times when I see him this down, this sad. The dull loneliness in his eyes is hard to ignore.

"And?"

"I want you to come with me, Naia." He said in almost a whisper, like a whine of a little boy who demands a new toy for his birthday but knows that it's not going to happen. When he reached for my hands, my fingers tensed. Inipit ko ang pang-ibabang labi gamit ang ngipin kasabay ng pagsabog sa dibdib ko sa simpleng hawak na iyon.

"You know I can't." I too, said in a small voice. "I have a responsibility for the kids, Zeus. I just can't leave them alone."

"Nothing I could say that will convince you?"

Bigo kong iniling ang ulo ko. He took a deep breath and nodded, blew out a sigh. Ako na mismo ang humila sa kamay ko pabalik.

"Then stay at my house in your remaining days."

I turned to him, shocked. He looks very serious and wouldn't take no for an answer. The glint of determination in his eyes quickly replaced the swaying loneliness blazing just a while ago.

"In your house?"

"Yes." He reached for my hair and then buried his fingers through the thick, dark locks. "I want you to stay in my house, keep you in my sight for as long as I can. Once I'm done in my tour, I'll visit you in Zamboanga."

My mind roared to just say yes and take the risk. I know it's a big risk we're going to take. We've been apart for a long time that neither the two of us wants to see the other person go again but our differing careers are to demand, not our wants. I bit my lower lips. Andaming pagkakataon na ang sinayang ko na makasama siya. And I am still in the middle of getting to know the new Zeus that I've met after a long time.

He stared at me, his gaze intense, pleading, romancing... I averted my gaze, determined to make the proper decision because if he's going to stare at me like that, I would be lured. He has the kind of stare that would make the woman want to strip her clothes off and join him in his paradise.

Uminit ang pisngi ko sa naiisip. Ano ba naman ang pinag-iisip mo, Naia! Nakakahiya ka talaga.

Nang lumubo ang pisngi ko sa pagpipigil ng ngiti ay umusog palapit si Zeus. He caught my chin between his fingers and immediately searched for my eyes.

"Should I take that as a yes?"

My eyes widened. Inilapit niya nang husto ang mukha niya sa akin. His damp lips are already brushing mine, making me tremble. I sucked in a deep breath, planted both hands on his chest to pull away to no avail. Even the flight attendant who approached us hesitated when she saw our compromising position.

"W-would you like some drinks? Ma'am? S-Sir?"

"We're busy as of the moment." Zeus said without blinking, without glancing back at the poor lady. His brisk tone made my straightened my spine. "Balik ka nalang mamaya. Aamuhin ko muna 'to."

"S-sige po..."

Pareho kaming namula sa hiya ng flight attendant. She stiffly walked away. ibinalik din ni Zeus ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Marahan niyang hinawakan ang baba ko at tinitigan ulit.

"Sasama ka sa akin?" halos pabulong na niyang tanong.

Kailangan kong lagyan ng distansiya ang pagitan naming dalawa or else I'd end up being tempted by him. Nanginginig na ngayon ang mga balikat niya sa tawang pinipigilan nang makita kung gaano ako naghihirap ngayon.

I pouted and looked away. "You're unfair."

"How am I unfair, baby?" he asked softly, tucking strands of my hair behind my ear.

Mas humaba pa ang nguso ko. "Don't use your charm on me, Vincenticus."

Mas lalo pa siyang humagalpak ng tawa. "Did you just call me by my second name?"

Sinilip ko siya ng tingin at inirapan. "Bawal?"

"No." he started nibbling my lower jaw with light kisses and tilted my head, skimming his fingers down my throat. "I actually like it. Say it again?"

Hindi ako umimik. He planted one last kiss on my throat before pulling away. "Sungit."

Isa na namang irap ang inabot niya sa akin. Inayos niya ang upo at kinuha ang inabandonang ear pods kanina.

"Whether I drag you to my house or not, you're going with me."

Hindi na ako umimik. I pressed my eyes close and accepted the fact that I've given this man the carte blanche of my life from now on. I am his to rule, but that doesn't mean I'll forget my responsibility to the foundation. Babalik at babailk din ako sa kanila. But for now, I'll cherish these precious moments with Zeus.

When we landed, a cluster of reporters are already waiting for us. Zeus put on his dark-shaded glasses and automatically wrapped a hand around my waist. I was about to protest but it was drowned with the endless questions from the reporters and the shutters of the camera. Makailang beses akong napapikit dahil sa sobrang pagkabigla at pag-iwas sa iilang camera na nakatutok sa mukha ko.

Zeus pulled me closer to him, ignored the reporters, and followed the security team that are struggling to lead him to the waiting limo outside. I spotted Nigel from a distance, standing tall and unbothered under the heat of the sun. He opened the door for us and swiftly blocked his bulky body against an aggressive reporter who chased us all the way to the limo.

Doon pa lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag nang makaupo na ako. Zeus pressed something and the smoked privacy screen between us and Nigel rolled up. He opened a bottle of champagne and poured himself a glass as the vehicle moved.

"I've already informed some of my men to move your things to my house. It should be there this afternoon."

I squinted my eyes at him and jabbed an accusing finger at his chest. "You. You planned this ahead of time, didn't you?"

He shrugged, but a half-smirk is already tugging lazily at his lips indicating that my accusation is correct. I huffed.

"We're not sleeping in the same room, Ferrer." Paglilinaw ko sa kaniya.

"I know. You'll be sleeping to the room next to me. Monica should be able to handle it by now."

I nibbled my lower lips, looking out the window. Even though I converted, I cannot easily strip my beliefs and tradition out of me. Humugot ako ng isang malalim na hininga. It's too hard to leave something you've grown up to.

"There are lots of things we need to talk about, Naia." Zeus watched me over the rim of his crystal glass, before taking another sip. "Why you took off your hijab, why you got that scar... also, your life in Aceh remains unknown to me until now."

I blinked and turned to him. Tilting my head, I studied him. "You want to know?"

"Of course. I don't want to have any more secrets between the two of us." He reached for my hands and brushed his lips across my knuckles. "But I'm willing to wait until you're ready to tell me about it."

I pouted again and then pulled my hands away, folding it neatly on my lap. "Maybe I can tell you a bit about my life in Aceh."

"Oh, yeah? We've got the whole ride, darling."

I leaned against the tinted window and swallowed. This is the first time, for many years, that I'm going to speak of my heritage again. The birthland I've tried so hard to erase as if it didn't happen. As if I didn't happen.

"You do know that I've got a Bedouin blood, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm a mixed blood. Mama Normillah is a Filipina woman."

He didn't answer, but continued listening.

"My father is the sheikh's brother. So we have a rank and a title in our community."

"That makes you a princess, then."

"A minor princess," I corrected. "And a shameful one. Baba is bound to marry a daughter of the ally when he eloped with my mother. She's a domestic helper back then and she fell in love with my Baba. Even though she converted, Baba's family cannot accept them."

"Why not?"

"Because the firstborn is a female," I fiddled with my fingers. "We were banned from the House of Bukhari. We lived in the city and tried to live as normal citizens of Aceh as well."

He reached for my hair again, stroking the locks and placing it at my back. I let him play with my hair as I continued to talk, warmed by the comfort that only his fingers can bring.

"After years of being banned, the sheikh visited our house and talked to my Baba. He offered his position, his title back to him in exchange for my life. Baba would have to kill me and Mama-jan would have to bear another child again. This time, it must be a boy."

His brows furrowed in confusion, but the glare of anger in his eyes are palpable. Before he could protest, I held up my palm and continued.

"Baba refused. The sheikh got angrier at him. And so we were banned. We've nowhere to go. We decided to go back to Mama-jan's homeland, but her family disowned her when they heard that she married a Muslim man. Baba, with what was left in his money, bought a land in Governor Generoso."

"That's when you transferred to our school, right?"

I nodded slowly. Pinilit ko na itong kalimutan. Baba-jan never talked of his family from the moment he stepped into this country until the day he died in prison. I've doubts that the sheikh had learned of what happened to his brother. Ni minsan ay hindi nila kami tinulungan.

"Yes. My title in Aceh is also one of the reasons why Datu Kiram agreed of me to be Malik's bride back then. A commoner cannot marry someone from the royal family that easy."

Matagal na tumitig sa akin si Zeus. He slowly pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's not exactly a sob story, Zeus, but I still get sad every time I think about it. My own country denied my existence for being a girl. Women of Aceh are..." I choked back a sob and shook my head. "I'm just sad. Tradition is tradition, but it is not always right. Do you know that they're not allowed to study there? Women are seen as weak individuals who cannot control their sexual desires and I hated that mindset. We were veiled to avoid tempting a man and to honor ourselves as women. We were excluded in the harem, away from the prying eyes of men that are not from our family. We can't talk to any man unless he's our husband, member of the family, or member of our husband's family."

"I didn't know..."

"This is the very reason why Baba is very strict, very religious... he had a rank back then, but he gave it up for me. A female." Nanginig ang mga labi ko. Sa tuwing naaalala ko kung ilang beses kong sinuway si Baba ay naninikip ang dibdib ko at kumakalat ang hapdi dulot ng pagsisisi. "I could've been nicer to him, Zeus. He saved my life a couple of times. He prioritized me over anything else."

Tumulo na ang mga luha mula sa mata ko. I swiped the tears away and tried to continue speaking in a straight, clear voice.

"I despised him so much when he arranged my marriage for Malik, never knowing that everything he does, it's for me. He may have struck me, ignored me, and neglected me most of the time... but he was always there, loving me silently, protecting me unconditionally. I feel like I've been a bad daughter to him, Zeus."

He let out a curse under his breath when I continued crying. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa akin. He kissed the crown of my head and murmured.

"When your father sees what you're doing right now, helping the poor and educating unprivileged people... I'm sure he'd be proud of you, Naia. You were too young to understand what he was doing, okay? I admit, at some point, I got mad at your father too, for taking you away from me. For years, I've been studying Islam, I've been trying to understand your culture, why you did this... why you did that. It made me understand you more as a person, as a child of Allah. It made me cherish you more as a woman. That's why I got so mad when you took off your hijab."

My lips trembled. Hinigpitan ko pa ang kapit ko kay Zeus habang nanunuot ang sakit sa akin. I've been blaming myself for the tragic death of my father for years. He loved me so, so much. More than I could ever know. He only wants the best for me and I've been nothing but an ungrateful daughter to him.

"Don't cry, baby... ssh... I promised you, and I promise your father, wherever he is, that I'm going to treat you like a princess that you are. If anyone deserves to be treated like a royalty, it's you, baby. You've been through a lot." He planted a kiss on my forehead.

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at nanginginig na humigit ng isang malalim na hininga.

"Let me love you, Naia. Let me love you the way your father did. Or even harder than that. So please... please don't run away again. Mababaliw na yata ako kapag nawala ka pa ulit sa akin." napapaos niyang bulong sa akin.