Chapter 7

Nakatitig lang ako sa kaniya nang ilang segundo, hindi alam kung anong sasabihin. His words rang inside of my head and caused me to feel a little dizzy.

"Gusto mong maging Muslim...?"

Tumitig siya pabalik sa akin. Gumalaw nang konti. The shadow dancing on his features moved a bit as he raked his fingers through his messy disarray of raven hair.

"Yeah..." tamad niyang sagot.

"Bakit?" halos malunok ko na ang dila ko. I'm not even sure if he heard it. Sobrang hina ng boses ko.

A ghost of sinister smile touched his lips, as if he discovered something amusing. Idagdag mo pa na naiintimidate ako sa sobrang tangkad niya. Zeus looks like he's about to do something evil and get away with it because he knows how powerful he is.

At least to me.

Ganun ang pakiramdam ko sa kaniya. Sa tuwing nagtatama ang mga mata namin at hinahawakan niya ang titig ko, hindi hinahayaang bumitaw. Zeus Ferrer and his advances. Any girl would melt at his touch, there's no doubt about it.

"Well, let's just say I want to marry pretty Muslim girls..." he chuckled sexily.

Nawala ang kaba sa dibdib ko. My face automatically fell with what he said. I pursed my lips and then stepped back from him.

"It's not a good joke." I said in a lethal tone. It surprised me how my tone immediately reflected on how angry I am right now. My blood automatically boiled.

Nawala ang ngisi sa mukha niya at medyo napalitan ng pagkagulat at pagkalito ang rumehistro sa mga mata nito.

"Bakit—"

"I am offended, Zeus." I said sharply, glaring at him. "If you think you could become a Muslim convert just to marry pretty Muslim girls... then you have an unhealthy mindset."

"Hey, Naia, I'm just joking..." bahagya siyang namutla nang makita kung gaano ako ka-seryoso.

"As I've said, it's not a good joke." I said again. "Uuwi na ako. Have a good evening, Zeus."

"Naia!"

Inignora ko siya at mabilis na naglakad palayo. My lips trembled. Anumang segundo ay maiiyak na ako.

"Shit," I heard him cursed under his breath.

Binilisan ko pa lalo ang paglalakad ko at pinara ang unang tricycle na nakita. Halos patakbo ko pa itong sinalubong para lang hindi ako maabutan ni Zeus.

I'm glad he didn't chase after me, though. Bagsak ang mga balikat nitong nakatingin sa akin at sising-sisi ang mukha. I caught him pulling his hair out of frustration and kicking the lamppost when the tricycle moved.

Iniwas ko ang tingin ko.

How could he say that to me?

He wants to be a Muslim convert to satisfy his carnal desires? That's way too much! I would've been really glad if he'd told me that he fell in love with Islam, and he wants to serve Allah for the rest of his life. I would've liked him more if he openly accepts the Islamic faith to enter his heart.

But no.

Pagak akong natawa. Zeus is no different from other hormonal-driven teenage guys. Why am I even surprised? He's got the looks of a bad boy after all, and he acts like one.

Umuwi ako sa bahay na mabigat ang puso. I really like him, though. But him, mocking my religion, is not something I could easily forgive and forget. It pisses me to no end and it fears me that thoughts of harming his handsome face entered my mind. That joke of him gave birth to my newfound friend, anger.

Allah Almighty, please forgive me for welcoming these negative feelings inside of my heart. I beg you to guide me and clear my head out of anger. I am and will always be your humble servant.

I could feel my shoulders shaking as I prayed hard. Ipinikit ko nang mariin ang mata ko upang kontrolin ang sarili.

Why am I so mad?

I keep on denying it to myself but maybe... maybe because of the fact that I am starting to like him and I want him to embrace the Islam faith with all his heart.

Am I being selfish for thinking this way? It's just a joke. Pero sobra akong nasaktan.

Kinabukasan nang pumasok ako ay doon pa ako tinamaan ng matinding guilt nang makita ko si Zeus sa labas ng classroom namin, nakayuko sa sahig at mukhang may hinihintay. Binagalan ko ang paglalakad ko. Two of my female classmates are pushing each other and sighed at the sight of him. Hindi man lang iyon napansin ni Zeus. Abala kasi siya sa pagtitig sa sahig.

I hesitated. Humigpit lang ang hawak ko sa strap ng bag at tinitigan ang matangkad nitong bulto. Nang mag-angat siya ng tingin ay nanigas ako. I could see the pools of sadness in his eyes.

"Naia..."

I took a deep breath and smiled shakily at him. "Good morning, Zeus."

"Naia, I'm so fucking sorry for what I said yesterday..." I could hear the begging in his voice. Mahina ito at napapaos. Ang imahe naming dalawa na nag-uusap umagang-umaga ay inagaw ang atensiyon ng mga kaklase ko. Nagsitinginan sila sa banda namin.

"It's okay. I'm mad but I forgive you," I said softly.

Hindi pa rin naaalis ang lungkot sa mga mata nito. Kinagat ng kaniyang ngipin ang pang-ibaba nitong labi at nang pinakawalan ay namumula at mamasa-masa na ito.

I swallowed and looked away.

"I'm an insensitive simpleton. I shouldn't have said that," his voice growled in a low tone. Mukhang nahihiya pa itong marinig ng iba ang pinag-uusapan namin.

"I understand," tugon ko. "Sige, pasok na ako..."

Tila binagsakan ng langit at lupa si Zeus na tumingin sa akin. For a brief moment, the ruthless and intimidating vibe lingering around him faded. He looked almost... helpless.

"Zeus!"

Iniwas ko na ang tingin ko nang dumating ang iba niyang kaibigan na taga-ibang section at napalibutan na siya ng mga estyudante. Zeus continued staring at me, despite the small crowd that he attracted. Sumikip ang dibdib ko at nakatungong nagtungo sa upuan ko.

"Ano yun?" ani Zoey, nakahalukipkip at naghihintay sa akin.

"Good morning, Zoey..." I said instead.

"Anong nangyari kay Zeus? Bakit mukhang nabasted?" tumawa pa siya.

I shrugged. Nawala ang ngiti sa maamong mukha ni Zoey. Kaagad siyang lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ako sa magkabilang balikat, bahagyang nanlalaki ang mga mata.

"Binasted mo si Zeus? Nanliligaw siya?"

Buong classroom ata ang nakarinig sa lakas ng boses ni Zoey. May ilang napalingon sa amin at gulat na napatingin. Tapos ay nasundan ng bulog-bulungan.

"Zoey! Ssh!" mahinang sita ko sa kaniya. Bigla akong na-conscious sa mga tingin na ipinupukol nila sa akin. Lalo na si Nazrah na parang handa na ata akong sabuyan ng asido sa mukha, pagkatapos ng mainit na sabaw noon.

"Then what was that with Zeus...?"

"He cracked a joke. I didn't like it. Humingi siya ng tawad."

Ilang segundo ding nakatitig sa akin si Zoey bago siya bumitaw at malakas na humalakhak. Nagtataka ko siyang tiningnan.

"Oh my God! That's so gold! Zeus Vincenticus Ferrer, asking for an apology because of a joke? Girl, that would spice up the headlines of this school's gossiping section!"

I groaned. "Zoey..."

Tawa pa rin siya nang tawa. "Mas maniniwala pa sana ako sa iyo eh kung sinabi mong nanligaw si Zeus tapos binasted mo. But him, asking for forgiveness after a joke?"

"It's an offending joke."

"Ladies and gentlemen, the downfall of the Ferrer boy!" inignora niya ako at nagpatuloy sa pagtawa. Napailing nalang ako at binuksan ang libro upang basahin ang coverage para sa quiz namin ngayon.

Inasar-asar ako ni Zoey at tumigil lamang ito nang pumasok na ang adviser namin. She had a grim look on her face. Nagtaka ako na wala itong dalang kahit ano mang gamit. Instead of requesting us to stand up for the opening prayer, her eyes fell on me.

"Ms. Bukhari, I want you to come with me to the guidance office..."

Kumalabog sa kaba ang dibdib ko dahil sa seryosong boses ni Ms. Corazon. Nag-aalangan akong tumango at mabagal na tumayo. I turned to Zoey, who wears an equally shock expression on her face.

"Study page 60 to 67. We'll have a short quiz pagbalik ko..." ani Ms. Corazon. I trailed after her silently as we headed out of the classroom.

I shut my eyes tight. If she's calling me to the guidance office right now, it only means one thing...

Hindi humuhupa sa kaba ang dibdib ko hanggang sa makapasok na nga kami sa guidance office. Wala siyang imik na itinuro ang sofa doon. Bumungad sa amin ang guidance counselor naming nakaupo sa kaniyang desk. She adjusted the gold-rimmed eyeglasses on the bridge of her nose before she nodded at me.

"Ms. Bukhari?"

"Yes po, Ma'am..."

"I'll leave you to her." Ms. Corazon said coldly before she went out of the office.

"May hinihintay pa akong isa ding pinatawag na estyudante. We'll talk when he arrives—"

Naputol ang sasabihin niya nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan. I turned to the door and froze when I saw Zeus stepped inside the classroom.

Hindi ko mapigilang hindi siya purihin. Earlier, when he was just leaning against the wall of our classroom, he looks like he's posing for a photoshoot. Maybe because he looks really clean in his uniform despite the rough bad boy face that he has. Zeus is a beautiful, walking irony.

"Pinatawag mo po daw ako, Ma'am?"

Kinilabutan ako nang marinig ang boses niya. Dahil maliit ang guidance counselor ay dumagundong ito, kahit pa mahina ang pagkakasabi niya. Nanunuot ito sa mga kalamnan ko. I instantly forgot about the rude joke he made to me last night.

"Please take a seat, Mr. Ferrer..." our guidance counselor calmly said.

Naupo si Zeus sa tapat ko, nangungusap ang mga mata. Nakatitig siya sa akin na para bang wala ang guidance counselor namin sa harap at nakatingin sa amin. She cleared her throat, pero inignora siya ni Zeus. He keeps on staring at me and it made me uncomfortable.

What's going on in his mind? I began to count my impurities as he continued to stare. Masyado na akong naiintimidate sa kaniya. At this rate, my heart is going to burst. Kanina pa ito kumakarera sa dibdib ko sa tuwing nababasbasan ako ng ganitong titig ni Zeus.

"Mr. Ferrer and Ms. Bukhari..."

I turned to our guidance counselor. She wore a disapproving look on her face. "I've received a report that during our school festival, both of your booths are selling alcohol to the students."

Napaawang ang bibig ko sa sobrang gulat. Panandaling nawala ang kaba na dulot ng paninitig ni Zeus at napalitan naman ng panibagong kaba dala ng sinabi ng aming guidance counselor.

"Is this true?"

Walang sumagot sa aming dalawa ni Zeus. Nanatili lang kaming tahimik.

"It's a major offense, Ms. Bukhari and Mr. Ferrer. This is a catholic school and we will not tolerate any of this licentious behavior. Lalo na ikaw, Ms. Bukhari... Muslim ka pa naman..."

Napayuko ako sa sobrang hiya. I saw Zeus' fists clenched on his lap. His knuckles turned white. Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay nakita kong umiigting na ang panga nitong nakatitig sa aming guidance counselor.

"You could be suspended... or worst, expelled..."

"Ma'am!" I cried fearfully.

"This is a serious matter—"

"She doesn't know anything about this." Zeus cut her off. "It was me who smuggled all the drinks inside the campus and sold it to the sophomores and freshman."

Gulat kaming napatingin kay Zeus.

"She doesn't know that the drinks that their booth is serving are alcohol mix. I'll claim the responsibility and will gladly accept any punishment, Ma'am. After all, I am her senior." He said and spat the last word as if it had a bitter taste on his mouth.

"Ms. Bukhari, is this true?"

Hindi ko kayang magsinungaling sa kaniya kaya hindi kaagad ako nakasagot. I knew about the liquors. I just didn't have the power to stop it. I failed as their president when I lost the courage to confront Nazrah to stop serving the alcohol in our booth.

"It's true, Ma'am. Wala po siyang kasalanan dito..." giit ni Zeus.

"She's still the president of their class and somehow, she needs to take responsibility of what happened."

"Ma'am..." gumapang ang takot sa dibdib ko nang may ma-realize. "Mai-expel po ba si Zeus?"

Tinitigan ng aming guidance counselor si Zeus nang ilang segundo bago ito bumuntong-hininga.

"He's graduating and he's a varsity player. It would be a shame to kick him out of the school. But he will be suspended for two weeks."

I gasped. "Ma'am—"

"I'll gladly accept it, Ma'am." Mabilis na sinabi ni Zeus. I stared at him, my eyes welling with unshed tears.

"And the two of you will have to commit 10 hours of community service as punishment. Starting tomorrow." She said with finality. "I'll have to call both of your parents and inform them of what happened."

Bumagsak ang balikat ko at biglang humapdi ang dibdib. I choked on my own saliva as I stared at the floor. Mama Normillah and Baba-jan will know...

"I am extremely disappointed at you, guys." She said and shook her head.

Nagtagal pa kami sa guidance office nang halos isang oras. Pinangaralan kami ng counselor tungkol sa nangyari at nangako naman kaming hindi na ito mauulit pa. I dare not say a word as I keep on stealing glances from Zeus.

Why would he do that? For me?

"Zeus..." mahina kong tawag nang makalabas na kami sa office. He turned to me. Hindi ko mabasa ang ekspresiyon sa mukha nito.

"Why did you do it?" I asked softly.

"Because you don't deserve it."

"But Zeus—"

"Am I forgiven?"

I pursed my lips and averted my gaze. He chuckled, surprising me.

"Just kidding. I know you're still mad. It's the least I could do..."

Hindi na ako nakasagot pa. Nagpaalam na siya sa aking babalik sa kaniyang classroom habang naiwan naman akong nakatunganga sa harap ng office, nangangapa pa rin sa nangyari.

Halos wala ako sa sarili nang bumalik sa classroom namin. Hindi ko sinagot si Zoey nung nagtanong siya kung ano ang nangyari at pinag-usapan namin sa office. Nirespeto niya naman iyon at tinigilan na ako sa pangungulit hanggang sa sumapit ang lunchbreak namin.

I remained silent all throughout the day. Nagsasalita lang ako kapag kinakausap. Hindi ko alam kung natunugan ba ng mga classmates ko ang nangyari. I just accepted the punishment because I am their president and I am held liable for all their actions.

Nang sumapit ang hapon ay nagmamadali akong umuwi. Sabay lang kaming naglakad ni Zoey patungo sa gate at kaagad din naman akong sumakay ng tricycle. When I got home, I planned to talk to Mama Normillah and to explain what happened.

Taking a deep breath, I headed inside the house. Pagkabukas ko ng pintuan at pagkatapak sa loob ay isang malakas na sampal ang sumalubong sa akin.

Halos mabingi ako sa sobrang lakas ng impact. Tumama ang ulo ko sa dulo ng pintuan nang mapaatras ako at matumba. Waves of pain hit my head and I suddenly felt like throwing up. Nanuot hanggang bungo ko ang sakit ng sampal ng ama ko sa akin.

"Aarim!" Mama Normillah cried.

I felt really dizzy as I stared up at the red, angry face of my Baba-jan.

"You're drinking alcohol, Parvana?" anito sa malalim at mapanganib na boses.

"Baba-jan..." tears welled up in my eyes.

"How dare you! I did not raise you to become an immoral woman!"

"Aarim, please..." Mama Normillah cried.

"Stay out of this, Normillah! I am going to teach your daughter a lesson!" Baba-jan said angrily and hit me again.

Napahagulhol ako. Ang tanging nagawa ko nalang ay itakip ang dalawang palad sa mukha upang kahit papaano'y mabawasan ang impact ng mga sampal ni Baba sa akin. But my fragile body compared to him is nothing. I got thrown around like a rag doll while Mama Normillah cried her heart out. She can't do anything. And I can't do anything, either. Baba-jan is the head of the household. He disciplines his child this way.

Ipinikit ko nalang ang mga mata ko at pilit na inignora ang sakit sa bawat paglapat ng malaki at mabigat niyang kamay sa akin. My breath became rugged. Halos hindi na ako makahinga nang maayos. I called for Allah so many times inside of my head as my father yelled and hit at me.

"Parvana..."

Namamaga ang mata ko sa kakaiyak. Pati na rin ang pisngi ko. Mahapdi ang labi kong tumama kanina sa semento at alam kong nagkasugat iyon. I dare not to look myself in the mirror. Alam kong sira ang mukha ko dahil sa nangyari.

I've never seen Baba-jan this angry before...

I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to Mama Normillah. A pained look crossed her face as she stared at me. Kaagad niya akong niyakap.

"I'm sorry, Parvana..."

I nodded my head as tears slipped from my eyes. Niyakap ko din si Mama Normillah pero aga ding kumalas nang maramdaman ang matinding panghahapdi sa aking mga labi.

"I'll treat your wounds..." Mama Normillah wiped a tear from her eyes and immediately went out of my room. When she came back, may dala-dala na siyang bimpo at maligamgam na tubig.

Mama Normillah gently wiped and cleaned my wounds. Napapaigtad ako sa tuwing tumatama ito sa mukha ko. I bit my lower lips as tears blurred my vision again.

"I'll let you wear my Niqab tomorrow, Parvana. You can't go to school like this..."

"Mama-jan, I didn't drink any alcohol..." pagsusumbong ko sa kaniya, naiiyak ulit.

"Hush, Parvana. I know..." she kissed my forehead lightly. "Take this medicine to prevent the inflammation. I'll just get my niqab."

Tumulo ulit ang mga luha ko nang mapag-isa na ako sa aking kwarto. I spent my night crying and praying to Allah, with a battered face. I really do not understand Baba-jan. The way he thinks violence is the only way to discipline me and how he had shut his ears from my pleads of mercy and explanations of what really happened.

Nagising ako kinabukasan na masakit ang katawan at sobrang nanghahapdi ang mukha. Mas namaga pa ata ito kesa kahapon. With a heavy sigh, I silently took a shower, put on my uniform, and wear the face veil my Mama Normillah had lend me.

It covers my entire face except for my eyes. They wouldn't be able to see my bruises. And I guess I'll not be wearing my hijab until I recover from my wounds.

Wala kaming imikan ni Baba nang umalis na ako sa bahay at nagtungo sa eskwelahan. Some of the students stared at me like I'm some kind of alien as I walked down the corridor. Nakatungo lang ako at pinipigilan ulit ang pagtulo ng mga luha.

"Naia...?"

I froze when I heard Zeus' voice. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon sa kaniya. Bahagya pang nakakunot ang noo nitong nakatingin sa akin, trying to determine if I am really Parvana. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin ay mabilis dinng nawala ang pagkalito sa mukha niya.

"Naia!" he exclaimed in recognition.

I just stared at him silently before I turned and walked away quickly.