Chapter 12

Kabadong-kabado ako nang dumating ang araw para sa aming prom night. The past few weeks were spent practicing and a brief orientation on what to do, how to behave, and how to have fun with limitations during the event.

Zeus was with me with the practice. Minsan ay absent siya. I didn't dare to ask but until now, I could still see the schoolgirl who keeps on trotting after him. Mukhang walang ideya si Zoey kung sino ang babaeng iyon kaya hindi ko na rin siya tinanong.

Nang tumama ang malapad niyang balikat sa akin ay inis ko siyang nilingon. Zeus pretended to be listening but the corners of his lips are twisting. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin.

"Late ka na nga kanina tapos ngayon nang-aasar ka pa..."

His brow lifted. Patuloy pa rin sa pagbibigay ng final instructions si Ms. Fern sa harapan. Halos hindi ko na siya marinig dahil sa sobrang ingay ng mga estyudanteng nasa harapan namin at nung kabilang grupo na inookupa ang kalahating espasyo ng gym.

"Hinanap mo ko?" he drawled lazily, brushing his knuckles against the soft skin of my cheeks.

Naiirita kong pinalis ang kamay niya at tinitigan siya nang masama. "Paanong hindi kita hahanapin eh partner kita? Andami-dami mo ng absences, late ka pa!"

He chuckled softly. "I'm sorry. Did that upset you?"

Uminit ang mga pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. Angrily, I turned my gaze away. I just acted like a nagging girlfriend which is wrong in so many ways! Inipit ko ang pang-ibabang labi at hindi na umimik. Pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang bigat ng mga titig ni Zeus sa tagiliran ko.

Nagtapos ang huling practice na iyon na hindi ko siya iniimikan. Diretso kaagad ako kay Zoey. I'm not expecting him to follow me, either. Nung nasa gate kami ay nakita ko na naman siyang kasama iyong babaeng taga-ibang eskwelahan.

I stared at the two of them bitterly. Kung siya nalang kaya ang ayain niya sa prom? Us, dancing together, is just part of the program. After that, he can leave me alone and be with his girl. He should consider doing that! Besides, they look so good together. Marahil ay ang babaeng iyan ang dahilan kung bakit palaging late si Zeus sa practice!

Matamlay akong umuwi sa bahay. Mama-jan didn't seem to notice my weary expression as she dragged me excitedly towards my room.

On my bed is a silk dress with glass beads and a corresponding silk hijab—both in the color of blood. The glass beads on the chest and the cuffs of sleeves shimmers under the mercy of the moonlight.

Biglang nawala ang inis na nararamdaman ko. I ran my fingertip softly against the silk and liked the sensation it made me feel. Napangiti ako. It would feel so soft against my skin when I'm going to wear it tonight.

"Your Baba doesn't want you to know, but he's the one who gave me the money for the dress." Mama-jan giggled like a kid.

Nginitian ko din si Mama-jan at niyakap. I thanked her for making my first prom night special, even if Zeus' crudeness has dented it already. I'm just going to endure him until the dance, before I disappear and let him spend time with his girl throughout the night.

She did my makeup. The coral lipstick and the dark eyeshadows made my eyes pop and sheen against my skin. I wore the silk dress she'd bought for me and it fitted as if it was tailored to suit my needs. The hijab is just as beautiful as my other veils. I couldn't tug the smile off my face as I stared at myself in the mirror.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Mama-jan stared at me proudly when Baba poked his head inside my room. "Oh, Azir, our daughter has grown beautifully."

Nginitian ko si Baba. His emotionless eyes stared at me, then he nodded and grunted as a response before disappearing from my doorway. Mama-jan and I shared a look before we burst into fits of giggles.

"It's almost time. Sa sala mo na hintayin ang sundo mo..."

Mama-jan was just talking about my partner when a car horn sounded in front of our house. My heart pounded in nervousness, knowing it is Zeus outside. Lumunok ako at sinundan si Mama-jan palabas ng aking kwarto. She let me borrow the black purse she got as her wedding gift and never had the chance to use it for there were no grandeur parties she'd attended ever since she settled with my Baba.

Namamawis ang mga kamay kong lumabas ng bahay. Baba is in the porch, sipping his strong black coffee while eyeing the white Monterio in suspicion. Sinulyapan ko siya at nginitian.

"Aalis na po ako..."

He nodded just as Zeus climbed out of his family's car, looking striking in a three-piece suit and waxed hair. He looked different from the schoolboy Zeus I used to know. The trace of languidness and carelessness are all but gone. Already I could see him 10 years from now, a successful musician with a series of women trailing after him. He's nothing like the boy who leaves the first three buttons of his white school uniform open, but a young adult slowly turning into a man with passion and elegance.

Napailing ako sa isipan. Nasobrahan na ata ako sa pagbabasa. He smiled at me as he strode towards our porch.

"Good evening po, Ma'am... Sir..."

"Ikaw ang partner ni Naia?" medyo gulat na tanong ni Mama-jan.

"Yes, Ma'am..."

Mama-jan stared at him in admiration. Bahagya akong ngumuso at siniko ang ina upang lubayan na niya ng tingin si Zeus. Baba, on the other hand, stares at him as if he's one of the lab rats that needs thorough inspection. I'm sure the stares of my parents are making him feel very awkward right now.

"A-Aalis na po kami..." ani ko. I was about to touch his arm but remembered that my parents are around. I wrapped my fingers around the small purse to force myself not to touch him or just be near him. Ngayon pa lang masama ang tingin ni Baba sa kaniya ay alam kong kung anu-ano na ang pumapasok sa isipan niya.

"Be here before 11 pm." Baba strictly reminded as we headed out.

"Have fun, sweetie..." Mama-jan said and waved at me, then she turned to her husband with a wide grin on her face. Baba-jan just frowned at her.

Pinagbuksan ako ng pintuan ni Zeus. I murmured a thanks and then climbed inside. Hindi pa rin humuhupa ang kaba ko. When he entered the vehicle, his scent leaked all over the enclosed space. I started to relax on my seat.

May kinuha si Zeus mula sa backseat. When he leaned back, a flower crown is in his hands. He stared at me before placing it atop my veiled head.

"I don't know what to give to you..." he shrugged. "Mom insisted on it."

Napangiti ako. I touched the roses on top of my head as my heart fluttered happily. "Thank you. It's very nice."

Zeus' lustful eyes lingered over me for a second before he turned his gaze on the road and pulled out. Nakatingin pa rin ngayon sina Mama-jan at Baba na nasa portico. When we drove past our only neighbor, I saw a young girl playing by the gate. Napangiti ako nang makita siyang namimitas din ng mga bulaklak kahit gabing-gabi na.

The drive to our school is short and silent. Zeus keeps on glancing at me every now and then, while I link and unlinked my fingers on my lap. Nang dumating na kami sa wakas sa eskwelahan ay nagpakawala ako ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga.

"Nervous?" He asked while unfastening his seatbelt.

I bit my lower lips and nodded shyly. "Kind of." I leaned against the car window and smiled weakly at him. Seryoso siyang nakatitig sa akin ngayon. "I bet I'm the only Muslimah in this event."

"And what does it make you feel?"

"Different." I murmured.

Umiling si Zeus. "No. If anything, it should make you feel special..."

I blinked at him but he was already out of the car. Kinalas ko kaagad ang seatbelt ko nang makitang umiikot na siya upang pagbuksan ako ng pintuan. He offered his hand to me. I stared and hesitated for a few seconds before I took it and murmured thanks on my way out.

His hands feel rough and warm. Truly a musician's hands. I wonder how many sleepless nights he'd pull to dedicate on his passion? I'd like to see his long, expert fingers making love with the strings of his guitar again. I'm already his fan but I know, years from now, the number of people admiring him and his music will grow.

"Parvana!"

I turned and before I could open my mouth, Zoey was already hugging me. I took a step back and laughed. Sa pagitan ng palitan namin ng mga tawa ni Zoey ay nakita kong nakatitig nang seryoso sa akin si Zeus. Hindi pa rin niya binibitawan ang kamay ko kahit pa nadadala na siya sa sobrang likot ni Zoey.

"Ang ganda-ganda mo!" she exclaimed with her eyes twinkling in delight.

I smiled cheekily at her. "Ikaw rin... ang ganda pa ng suot mo..."

She gave me a twirl and then laughed. "Mommy insisted on it. It's my first prom kaya dapat special!" she said and then turned to Zeus, before her gaze dropped to our linked hands.

Ipinagkrus ni Zoey ang mga braso sa dibdib. "Baka naman gusto mong bitawan, Zeus? Hindi ko naman aagawin si Parvana sa iyo..."

Heat crawled to my neck, then it rested to my cheeks. Binalingan ko si Zeus. Arogante lang siyang nakatingin kay Zoey.

"Naninigurado lang..."

Tawa lang ang isinagot ni Zoey sa kaniya. Zeus tugged me a bit. Napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya.

"Let's go..."

I nodded and the three of us headed inside. Nagkalat na ang mga estyudante sa labas, ang iba ay hindi pa tapos magmake-up at nanatili sa bakanteng mga classrooms. Ang iba naman ay abala sa pagkuha ng mga litrato kasama ang mga kaibigan at ang iba'y nakikipagtulakan pa sa mga crush nila.

"Bukhari!"

I turned and saw Koge, grinning widely at me. Siya yung maingay naming kaklase na palaging pinapatawa ang mga kaklase ko, may klase man o vacant lang namin. Hila-hila niya si Michael sa likuran. Both of them are wearing suits, but not as striking as it is when Zeus graced the fabric.

"Gusto daw magpapicture ni Michael sa iyo! Yiee!" anito na sobrang laki ang ngisi sa mukha.

Naramdaman ko ang biglang paghigpit ng hawak ni Zeus sa mga kamay ko.

"Hindi pwede." Maangas na sagot sa kanila ni Zeus.

I turned to him and frowned. "Bakit hindi—"

"Sige na, Bukhari! Crush na crush ka netong kaibigan ko eh!" pamimilit pa ni Koge.

Zeus' lips pursed and a lethal look crossed his face. He took a step forward, trying to intimidate the two which worked effectively when the playful smile from Koge's face faded. Michael's face darkened for a moment, then he tugged his friend's arms.

"Tara na, Koge." He hissed and glared at Zeus.

"Sige, Bukhari, mamaya nalang..." ani Koge sabay kaway sa akin.

Nang makalayo na silang dalawa ay hinarap ko si Zeus. He's still hissing under his breath and glaring at the two as they headed inside the gym.

"Bakit mo naman ginawa yun?"

"Do you like sharing with other people?"

Kumunot ang noo ko, hindi mawari kung ano ang koneksiyon ng sagot niya sa naging tanong ko.

I slowly nodded my head. "Allah's teachings always incorporate living a generous life. So... yes."

"Well, I don't." he said in pursed lips. The last rays of sun exploded in the sky. We're nearing twilight now. The first promise of the cool, night air breezed through us. I continued staring at him and watched in fascination as his eyes darkened with temper, desire, and possession.

I took a step back and tried to tug my hand free from him but he wouldn't budge.

"I don't like sharing, Naia..." he said in a quiet, dangerous voice that made my heart pound. "Especially when it comes to you..."

Years of reading romance books had taught me that when it comes to men, response from a woman will come naturally. With or without an experience, a woman ought to know how to act around a man. But now I've found myself helplessly looking for a self-help guidebook that would let me know how to response to Zeus and act around him. I'm completely clueless and all I could think about is how he'd made my heart flutter with every little thing he does and how guilt gnaws on my chest every time I'm feeling happy with him.

Despite the number of romance books I've read before, none of them had prepared me of what Zeus can offer.

Pinipilit ko pa ring pakalmahin ang sarili ko hanggang sa makapasok na kami sa gym. Napangiti ako nang makita kung paano nila pinaganda ang loob. The cemented floor is carpeted, the tables are covered with silky cloth, and there are musicians setting up the stage.

I dropped my gaze to our linked hands. Zeus' gold cufflink winked in the dim light. I could feel the restrained strength of his fingers, and the way he'd caressed his thumb over mine in a careless manner. I'm quite afraid he'd feel how bad I am trembling right now.

Look at you kids with your vintage music

Comin' through satellites while cruisin'

You're part of the past, but now you're the future

Signals crossing can get confusing

Zeus led me to the dancefloor, just like the rest of the partners. The first dance is about to start and I'm sweating like crazy. The lights went dim and the angelic voice of Lana del Rey from the recorded audio sounding through the gym's speakers made my heart thundered inside of my chest.

It's enough just to make you feel crazy, crazy, crazy

Sometimes, it's enough just to make you feel crazy

I placed my hands on Zeus' shoulder and stared up at him. Tipid ko siyang nginitian. He just keeps on staring at me in a serious manner as we swayed slowly on the dancefloor. I praised myself for being able to keep up, despite the slight trembling of my hands and the buckling of my legs.

As we danced to the rhythm of the song, I keep on staring at him, wondering if am I too young to feel this intensely towards him? Siguro ay lilipas lang din naman? I'm not a clairvoyant. I don't know what will happen in the future, but this I know for sure... right now, I am just so crazy for Zeus Vincenticus Ferrer... even if I know that it's a mistake. My feelings for him is a big, glaring mistake.

You get ready; you get all dressed up

To go nowhere in particular

Back to work or the coffee shop

Doesn't matter 'cause it's not enough

To be young and in love

To be young and in love

I let the warmth from his body radiate through me. I let my feelings soar to the sky at that night. This young love of mine, I'm sure I'll never forget it. It sounds so melancholic and we both know it.

Look at you kids, you know you're the coolest

The world is yours and you can't refuse it

Seen so much, you could get the blues

But that don't mean that you should abuse it

Though it's enough just to make you go crazy, crazy, crazy

I know, it's enough just to make you go crazy, crazy, crazy

Weird thing is, no matter how I tremble and sweat when I'm around him, as he held me close in his arms and hummed with the song, I started to relax. Nawawala nang paunti-unti ang kaba ko at nagiging komportabe ako sa yakap at sa hawak niya.

"Do you speak Arab?"

I rose a brow at him. Wala akong ideya kung bakit itinatanong niya ito bigla sa akin.

"Not really..." I shook my head. "My Baba is a fluent speaker, though..."

"Hmm... so you know a little? Phrases and endearments?"

Bahagya akong ngumuso at um-oo.

"What do you commonly call your loved ones?"

"From me to you or from you to me?" I tilted my head a bit and studied his hard-looking face.

He smirked. "Baby, from me to you..."

Mas lalo pang pumula ang pisngi ko. "Habibti."

"Habibti... can I call you that?"

I averted my gaze and nodded shyly. A smile of satisfaction touched his lips. He gently cupped my chin so that I'll look back at him with burning cheeks.

"If you're my habibti, does that mean that I'm your habibi?"

My heart leapt to my throat. By now my hands are trembling so bad that he rose his eyebrows and gazed at it. When he brushed his lips against my knuckles, all I could afford at that time was a weak nod of agreement.

But you get ready, you get all dressed up

To go nowhere in particular

Back to work or the coffee shop

It don't matter because it's enough

To be young and in love

To be young and in love

Don't worry, baby

Don't worry, baby

The song ended with an applause as we left the center of the gym. Out from the corner of my eyes, I saw Zeus contemplating if he should wrap his arms around my waist, but ended up holding my hands instead.

Napangiti ako nang palihim.

"What do you want? I'll get something for you..." he said when we reached our designated table.

"Kahit ano nalang..."

"I'll be back." He said and disappeared in the crowd.

I smiled and watched him go, before I leaned back on my seat. Medyo masakit ang mga paa ko sa kakasayaw, pero sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyari kanina ay hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti.

Someone suddenly grabbed the flower crown from my head. Napatingala ako at nakita ang nakangising mukha ni Nazrah.

"So feeling mo ang ganda mo na nito?" she sneered, and lifted the crown in the air with her manicured fingers.

I calmly stand up and tried to get the flower crown back but she held it higher. Madali ko naman itong maabot pero ayokong masira ito kapag pinag-agawan naming dalawa. I pulled back and studied her.

"Anong gusto mo, Nazrah?"

She cocked an eyebrow at me, then she stared at me in disgust.

"Attending a prom with a hijab? Really? Hindi ko alam kung pasikat ka lang talaga o ano..."

"I'm not doing anything to you. I'd appreciate it if you leave me alone..." I said in a controlled voice. Ayoko talagang magalit sa kaniya pero hindi naman siguro pwede na gaganituhin niya lang ang trato sa akin kung kailan niya gusto. "Also, give me back my flower crown. It's a gift."

Isang matabang na ngisi ang gumuhit sa mga labi niya. She dropped the crown to the floor. Lumuhod ako para sana kunin ito pero mabilis niya itong tinapakan. The lovely roses got crushed under the sharp stab of her heels. Umawang ang bibig ko sa gulat. Mas lalo pa niya diniinan ang pagkakatapak. Then she spun on her heels and walked away as if she did nothing.

Pinulot ko ang nawasak na rosas. I'm disappointed at myself. I could've prevented this from happening but I'm too weak to fight her. And I really don't want to fight her in the first place. I'm too young to provide room for hatred for Nazrah's sour attitude. She really doesn't like me, and I can't do anything to change her opinion of me.

"Habibti...."

I tensed and turned. Zeus watched me with amusement in his eyes. May dala siyang dalawang plato na kaagad niyang inilapag sa lamesa. When his gaze dropped to the flower crown, a flash of concern crossed his sharp features.

"What happened?"

I licked my lower lips and placed the battered flowers on the table, scooping the petals on the floor and gathering whatever I can.

"Naia... stop it. Ibibili nalang kita ng bago," ani Zeus at marahang hinigit ang braso ko.

I turned to him again and sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He placed his hand on top of my head, and then stroked the silky fabric of my hijab. "Get something to eat."

"Guys!"

Pareho kaming napalingon ni Zeus. With my mouth hanging open in surprise, Zoey laughed and snapped a photo of us using her phone. Nakatukod ang isang kamay ni Zeus sa sandalan ng upuan ko at bahagyang nakahilig sa akin nang kunan niya kami ng litrato. My cheeks burned in embarrassment.

Lumipat si Zoey at ang kaniyang partner sa lamesa namin. Soon, the night was filled with laughter and teasing, very different from what I expected it to be. I expected him to leave and be with his girl after the dance but he didn't. He stayed with us. The band even performed. Zeus serenaded us with his half-whiskey half-raspy voice. The girls sighed in admiration and the boys used the magical moment to confess to their crushes. Napapangiti ako lalo na't ang sarap sa tainga pakinggan ang boses ni Zeus.

"May after-party pagkatapos nito, Parvana... sama ka, ah? Kakanta ulit sina Zeus..." untag naman ni Zoey sa akin nang matapos nang mag-perform ang banda nila.

I gave her a rueful smile. "I'm sorry but I don't think my Baba would approve of me partying late at night. At isa pa... nangako ako na uuwi bago mag-alas onse ng gabi."

Ngumuso siya. "Ano ba yan! Daig mo pa si Cinderella. Buti pa siya't nakaabot ng alas dose."

Natawa ako sa sinabi ng kaibigan. "Ayos lang talaga, Zoey..."

"Hmm... sige. Ihahatid ka ni Zeus pauwi?"

"Ihahatid."

Napalingon ako sa bagong boses na bigla nalang nagsalita sa likuran ko. Zeus is raking his fingers through his damp hair and pulled a chair to sit on. Bahagya siyang nagtaas ng kilay sa akin nang titigan ko siya. Iniwas ko naman ang tingin ko.

He gave my cheeks an intimate pat. Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan.

"Don't worry, habibti, I'm gonna get you home in one piece tonight..."

Imbes na si Zeus ang sana'y sisipain ni Zoey sa ilalim ng upuan ay ako ang natamaan niya. Napaigik tuloy ako. Zoey continued glaring at Zeus.

The night ended with Nazrah being hailed as the prom queen and Zeus as the prom king. The usual ballyhoo filled the gym with the announcement, as some more couples danced for the last song. Nakamasid lang ako sa kanilang dalawa pero hindi nagustuhan ang kapit ng kamay ni Nazrah sa braso ni Zeus. A woebegone feeling settled on my chest, but I quickly shrugged it away.

Tahimik ako nang bumalik siya sa lamesa namin. He placed the plastic-made tiara on the table and gathered his things.

"C'mon... I'll take you home.." aniya.

Tumango ako at sinundan siya palabas pagkatapos kong makapagpaalam kay Zoey at sa iilan kong naging kaibigan sa eskwelahan. While we were walking and headed towards the parking lot, I held the battered flower crown in my hands gently. Nagulat ako nang maramdamang may ipinatong si Zeus sa ulo ko. I looked up and saw the crown he received as the prom king.

I turned to him, puzzled. A roguish smirk is all I receive.

"It suits you better..."

My heart warmed at his words. I smiled at him.

"Nazrah was really pretty back there with you at the stage..."

"Uh-huh."

Bahagya akong ngumuso. "Ang ganda din ng buhok niya..."

He shrugged. "Her hair is okay..." pinagbuksan niya ako ng pintuan at pinapasok. My heart pounded wildly inside of my chest. When he entered the car, I stared at him.

"W-Would you like to see my hair, too?" kinakabahan kong tanong sa kaniya.

Rumehistro ang gulat sa mukha niya. Before cowardness could stop me, I removed the crown from my hijab and then went to unfasten the pin. Zeus' eyes darkened again, but before I could pull the pin from the folds of my silky hijab, he captured my hands.

"Don't." he said in a low voice. I stared at him, insecurity gnawing at me. Bahagyang nanginginig ang mga kamay ko.

"B-But..."

"Don't do it, Naia." He sighed and pressed the heel of his hands against his eyes as if he's in deep pain. "God, my habibti is such a stubborn girl..."

"Zeus...?" pumiyok ang boses ko.

When he opened his eyes, I could see the raw emotions twirling inside. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko.

"Always remember this, Naia... no man deserves an angel like you. No man is worth taking your hijab off... not even me, okay?" he said, staring long and hard at me as his baritone voice filled the car.

With my insecurities dissipating, I stared at him as tears filled my eyes. Dahan-dahan akong tumango at isinubsob ang mukha nang tumulo ang mga luha sa mata.