Chapter 1

"Your hijab is not to protect you from men. It is to honor you as a woman..." my mother said gently as she pinned my old rose satin hijab. Ngumiti siya sa akin at ihinarap ako sa salamin. "You look beautiful, Parvana."

I stared at my reflection at the mirror. The sun's gentle rays entered my room, filtered with the thin white curtain and casted a soft glow on my face. My bespoken long-sleeve uniform, tailored to suit my needs is just as comfortable as I wanted it to be. I glanced at my dark-blue pleated skirt uniform. I'm sure it's at least three inches longer than the regular skirts of female students.

Nasanay na din akong ganito ang suot. Baba is over-protective when it comes to his only child. He's very traditional, my old man. He wants me to remain as a little girl and protect me from everything that might harm me.

"Do I look like a grown-up, already?" inosente kong tanong kay Mama Normillah.

She smiled at me and gently patted my head. "More than you could ever be, Parvana."

Sinipat ko ulit ng tingin ang suot na uniporme. I'm already 14 years old, a Grade 9 student. My long-sleeve blouse and hijab would probably keep the other students away from me. It's okay, though. Nasanay na din naman ako sa ganitong treatment simula nang dumating kami dito sa Pilipinas.

"Now, remember, you go home after your class. Huwag kang sasama sa kung sinu-sino..." mahinang sita sa akin ni Mama.

I nodded my head and grabbed my bag. Ibinigay ni Mama sa akin ang inihanda niyang lunchbox at sinamahan ako palabas sa aking kwarto.

I found Baba, sitting silently by the porch. A mug of coffee is rested on our mantled round table. Baba is old and very traditional. Maybe because we are Acehnese people, having to root from the old province of Aceh, Indonesia. I spent my childhood there as a little Muslim girl until one day, my parents announced that we are going to flee from the province and move here permanently in Governor Generoso, Davao Oriental.

Mama Normillah was not born as a Muslim girl. She is a Catholic and married my Baba when she was still 18 years old. I don't know much about their love story, because Baba rarely talks about it. All I know is that Mama Normillah converted her religion when she married my Baba and they conceived me, five years after their marriage. My Mama Normillah, being a Filipina woman, allowed me to speak Tagalog without difficulty despite being born and living in Indonesia.

"Baba... I'm going." Tumikhim ako upang agawin ang kaniyang atensiyon.

Baba glanced at me. A growl sounded in his throat before he nodded his head. Ibinalik na naman niya ulit ang kaniyang malayong tingin sa niyugan sa harapan ng aming terazza.

Mama Normillah adjusted her own hijab before gently taking my hands.

"Be a good girl at school, alright?"

"Yes, Mama Normillah."

"Alhamdulillah for having such a good daughter like you." she kissed my cheeks gently.

Nginitian ko si Mama Normillah at Baba bago ako nagtungo sa naghihintay na na tricycle para sa akin. I slid inside and adjusted my uniform bago ko nilingon si Manong Driver.

"Sa Maryknoll High School po, Manong..."

He nodded his head and started the engine. Walang ibang sakay ng tricycle kundi ako lang. We passed by a vast rice fields before the tunnel of trees claimed the sides of the roads.

I fell in love with this provincial town the moment we got here. It's like our town in Aceh, lots of trees and reminders of the nature's beauty. I had a lot of friends way back in Aceh, though I don't know if I could gain some new friends here. If it's Allah's plan to give me a whole new circle of friends, I would gladly accept them in my life.

"Thank you, Manong..." wika ko sa kaniya sabay bayad. Hindi siya umimik at tinanggap lang ang baryang ibinigay ko bago niya paandarin ulit ang kaniyang tricycle.

High school students are already milling around the school ground when I arrived. I guess we still have a few minutes before the flag ceremony. I still have to find my adviser. She is expecting me today.

Bigla nalang dinalaw ng kabog ang dibdib ko. Kitang-kita ko ang pagdapo ng tingin ng ilang mga estyudante sa akin. Ang mapanuring mga mata nila ay tumama sa aking hijab na suot pati na rin sa longsleeves na uniform, gayong hindi naman ganoon ang kanila.

"Muslim ata...?" I heard one of them said.

I smiled kindly at them pero mabilis din nilang iniwas ang tingin nila. My smile faded as I watched them scurried away from me. I blinked and then tilted my head, wondering if I did something wrong.

Sighing to myself, I walked down the stone path that leads to the faculty office instead. Alam ko na ang pangalan ng aking guro pero hindi ko pa siya nakikita sa personal. Si Mama Normillah pa lamang ang nakakausap sa kaniya nang personal. She helped us with my transfer papers when we got here and settled in Governor Generoso. I'm guessing she's a nice, kind lady just like the women in our neighbourhood before.

Habang naglalakad ako ay nahagip ang tingin ko ng isang matangkad na bulto. May kausap siyang babae habang nakasandal sa tabi ng bintana ng kanilang classroom. His eyes twinkled mischievously and smirked. The girl in front of him blushed and stuttered.

Gumapang ang tingin ko sa guitar case kung saan nakasandal ang kaniyang isang kamay. He lazily poked his cheeks with his tongue and then dipped his chin down.

Mas lalong nanigas ang babaeng nasa harapan niya. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa, nagtataka kung bakit hindi pa sila lumilinya para sa flag ceremony?

The guy turned sharply to my direction, dahilan upang mapatuwid din ako ng tayo. Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin at naningkit ang mga mata. Bigla nalang kumabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba kahit na wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa kanila.

Instead of offering them a smile, like what I usually do, umiwas ako ng tingin at tumungo, sabay lakad patungo sa faculty office. The bell rang, and more students piled into the school ground for the flag ceremony.

Nang lingunin ko silang dalawa ay wala na ang lalaki. Yung babae nalang ang naiwan doon, tulala, at maya-maya pa'y pinunasan nito ang luhang lumandas sa kaniyang mga pisngi.

I turned to her, shocked. What happened? Nag-uusap lang naman sila noong lalaking may gitara, ah?

"Oh... you must be Parvana Bukhari, huh?"

Napatalon ako sa gulat nang may biglang magsalita. Nang lingunin ko ang pinanggagalingan ng boses ay nakita ko si Ms. Corazon, ayon sa kaniyang ID, at napagtantong siya pala ang adviser na hinahanap ko.

"Good morning, Ms. Corazon." Magalang kong bati sa kaniya. I stared at her. She's already in her early 40's, if my hunch is right. Pero bakit Miss pa rin siya? Wala ba siyang asawa?

She smiled kindly at me, tapos ay binalingan ang nagsisimula nang flag ceremony.

"Tara, sa office muna tayo..." wika niya sa akin.

Tumango ako at sumunod sa kaniya. I could hear the Philippine National Anthem playing when she closed the door. The cold air from the AC system made me shiver a bit, despite my long-sleeve uniform as I trailed after her.

"Okay na ang mga papeles mo, Parvana. Hindi ko pa nga lang natawagan ang nanay mo kasi naging busy din ako, eh. Pero puwede mo na itong ibalik sa kaniya mamaya pagkauwi mo sa bahay niyo..." aniya sa akin sabay abot ng isang pirasong papel.

I nodded my head and folded the paper before inserting it to the envelope I've been carrying all along.

"Just look for Section. St. Agustine. Yun ang magiging classroom mo para sa taong ito. And..." she pulled another sheet of paper again. "Ito ang magiging upuan mo."

Pinagmasdan ko ang seat plan na ibinigay niya sa akin. Ang tanging bakante nalang ay ang ikatlong upuan sa front row. The rest are occupied so I guess I am the only transferee, huh? Siguro ay magkakakilala na din silang lahat. Sana naman ay hindi ako mahirapan sa pakikipagkaibigan sa kanila...

Mukhang nabasa naman ni Ms. Corazon ang nasa isipan ko dahil marahan niya akong nginitian. "Huwag kang mag-alala, Parvana. Mababait naman ang mga estyudante ko. You'll get along with them really well."

Tumango ako at nagpasalamat. We stayed inside the office for a while, waiting for the flag ceremony to be over and oriented me of what to expect in this high school as well.

Ms. Corazon said a lot of good things about the school and the students. Sa sinabi niya'y mas lalo akong na-excite na makilala ang magiging kaklase, bagama't hindi pa rin nawawala ang kaunting kaba sa aking dibdib.

When the ceremony ended, lumabas na din kaming dalawa ni Ms. Corazon. Sobrang ingay ng mga estyudanteng papasok sa kanilang mga classroom. Some of them are even throwing papers at each other, dahilan kung bakit sinaway sila ni Ms. Corazon.

"Alam mo na kung saan ang classroom mo, hindi ba?" aniya sa akin. "Mauna ka na doon at susunod na ako. May kailangan lang akong tapusin dito."

Tumango ako at pinanuod siyang lapitan ang isa pang teacher upang makipag-usap. Nilingon ko ulit ang hawak na papel at nakisabay sa anod ng mga estyudante patungo sa kani-kanilang classroom.

It took me a while to find our classroom. Nasa pinakadulo pa iyon ng building sa third floor. By then, I was panting when I got there.

Sumilip ako sa loob at nakitang may pinagkaka-abalahan silang lahat. A guy sat on the chair's desk. Ipinatong nito ang kaniyang gitara sa hita. Pinapalibutan na siya ngayon ng mga magiging kaklase ko. Some of them are secretly recording videos of him.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kanila, nag-aalinlangan kung papasok ba o hindi. Nakatayo lang ako sa amba ng pintuan habang inaatake ng matinding kaba. Wala pa namang nakakapansin sa akin dahil ang lahat ng atensiyon nila ay nakabuhos sa lalaking may gitara.

I was about to enter the classroom when he started strumming the guitar. Some of my girl classmates sighed. Isang babae ang lumapit sa kaniya at ngingiti-ngiting tumabi. She swayed her head to the rhythm of the music as the guy continued to strum. Nakatalikod siya sa akin kung kaya't hindi ko makita ang mukha niya.

"Take you like a drug... I taste you on my tongue..."

The crowd went silent as his raspy baritone voice filled the entire classroom. Sinasabayan niya pa iyon ng marahang paghead-bang habang patuloy ang pagkalikot ng kaniyang kamay sa gitara.

Nanatili ang mga paa ko sa sementadong sahig habang pinapakinggan siyang kumanta. He had easily captivated the attention of everyone and now they are looking up at him, worshipping his sexy voice.

"It's crazy what you do for friends..."

Nilingon niya ang babaeng tumabi sa kaniya, allowing me to have a glimpse of his side view face. Kinabahan ulit ako nang matantong siya pala yung lalaking nakasandal sa pader ng classroom kanina! Humigpit ang hawak ko sa strap ng aking bag at hindi na mapakali.

Is he my classmate? Why is he my classmate!

"Go ahead and cry little girl, nobody does it like you do... I know how much it matters to you... I know that you've got daddy issues..."

Sinabayan siya ng babae sa pagkanta at dumapo pa ang kamay nito sa malapad nitong balikat. Ibinalik na ng lalaki ang kaniyang tuon sa gitara at nagpatuloy sa pagkanta, naghi-head bang nang konti.

"Shit na malagkit talaga!" tili ng isa sa mga kaklase kong babae at itinaas na rin ang kaniyang cellphone para video-han ang kumakanta ngayong lalaki.

I blinked and dragged my gaze back to him again. He is sitting on the third seat on the first row. Third seat! That's my seat... inikot niya lang ang upuan kasabay na din ng iba pang lumapit para makinig sa kaniya.

"And if you were my little girl... I'd do whatever I could do, I'd run away and hide with you. I love that you've got daddy issues, and I do too..."

Their blended voices are so pleasing to the ears. It's like they were made to sing together and create such beautiful harmony. Hindi na ako makagalaw. I know how these girls feel like now. The song is unfamiliar but his voice captivated me and the lyrics coming from his mouth sounded so... sensual. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko habang pinapakinggan siyang kumakanta.

Soon, the entire classroom is singing with them. He encouraged them with his slight head-banging as he continued to strum the guitar. Tumayo ang babaeng katabi niya at nakikanta na din sa lahat. They are enjoying such as precious moment right now and having fun! To top it all, they have good voices that it made me think if it's rehearsed or it's just for fun...

The guy with the guitar ended the song with the fading strums. Tumigil na din ang kaniyang paghi-head bang at nang matapos ang kanta ay palakpakan kaagad ng lahat ang kaniyang natamo!

"Whoo! Z and Z!" they ranted.

Natawa ang iba nang may isang matabang classmate niya ang ginaya ang pagkanta nila. However, his voice is out-of-tune and the exaggerated expression on his face made them burst in laughing.

Sa unang pagkakataon ay may nakapansin na din sa akin. A girl with a short hair and pink headband stared at me. Bahagya pa itong nagtaas ng kilay sa akin.

"Anong kailangan mo?" she said cattily.

"Uh..." tumuwid ako nang tayo. Dahil sa sinabi niya'y napalingon na din ang iilan sa akin. Sinuyod ng tingin ko ang paligid at napagtantong ako lang pala ang Muslim dito.

I smiled genuinely at her, and to those who watched me as well.

"Good morning... I am Parvana Naia Bukhari...." Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang magtawanan ulit silang lahat sa ginawa ng matabang lalaki. Nawala din kaagad ang atensiyon nila sa akin.

Inipit ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko at tumungo nang konti, bahagyang nahiya sa kanila.

Walang imik akong pumasok sa classroom. When I stepped inside, yung matabang lalaki naman ang nakakita sa akin. He squinted his eyes at me and soon, everyone is watching me walk towards my seat. I have never been this nervous before.

Mas lalo pa akong kinabahan nang marating ko na ang pakay. Now that he's in front of me, I could smell his expensive perfume. Maybe it's one of the reasons why girls flocked to wherever he is. He smells so good na para bang gusto mo nalang siyang iuwi sa bahay niyo.

"Uhm..." tumikhim ako.

Marahas siyang lumingon sa akin. Napaatras ako nang konti nang mamataan ang bahagyang iritasyon sa magaganda nitong mga mata. I swallowed.

He is very rough and manly, even at young age. In fact, he seems like a Kuya to all of us. Siya ang pinakamatangkad at malaki din ang katawan. But despite the roughness of his very being, the white uniform and dark blue slacks suited him perfectly.

Marahan niyang kinamot ang kaniyang panga, naghihintay sa sasabihin ko. Ang isang kamay niya'y naroon pa rin sa hawak na gitara, hindi ito binibitawan.

The girl who sang with him earlier curiously stared at me, then gave me a friendly smile. A friendly smile! This is the first genuine smile I have ever received since stepping inside this school.

Ngumiti din ako pabalik pero nawala din ito nang titigan ulit ako ng lalaking may hawak na gitara.

"You're sitting on my assigned seat." Sa maliit na boses ko'y sinabi.

"Oh?" nag-angat siya ng kilay sa akin. Hindi naman mainit pero medyo mamula-mula ang kaniyang balat sa leeg na umaakyat patungo sa pisngi nito. Or maybe he had naturally rosy skin.

I smiled at him to soothe the awkwardness away.

"Puwede na ba akong umupo?"

He stared at me more, making me uncomfortable beyond imagination. Palagay ko'y kung anu-ano nang ginagawa niya sa akin sa utak ko. Dumikit pa lalo ang kaniyang titig sa akin at sa hijab na suot ko.

Ngumisi siya at pinasadahan ng kaniyang dila ang pang-ibabang labi nito.

"Pwedeng ako mismo ang upuan mo..." he winked.

Naghiyawan ang mga nakarinig sa kaniya samantalang ako nama'y na-eskandalo. Awang ang bibig ay hindi ako makapagsalita sa sinabi niya. I know exactly what he meant!

Sinapak siya ng babaeng katabi niya kanina. "Ang bastos mo, Zeus!"

His sexy chuckle growled in his throat. Tapos ay binalingan niya ako.

"Ano? Ayaw mo?" untag niya sa akin.

Nanghihina akong umiling. Hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko! Hiyang-hiya na ako sa mga titig na ibinibigay sa akin ng mga estyudante.

Aliw na aliw niya akong tinitigan. Wala naman akong ginawa kundi hintayin siya na umalis sa upuan ko. Finally, he pulled himself up and placed his guitar inside the case.

The guy smirked at me. Inusog niya ang upuan at ibinalik ito sa dating ayos.

"Upo ka na..." his lips twitched.

Hindi pa rin ako gumalaw, natatakot nang bahagya sa kaniya. I dropped my gaze to the chair and then back to him, clueless on what to do next.

"Mr. Ferrer!"

Napaigtad ako sa lakas ng boses ni Ms. Corazon. Pumasok siya sa classroom namin na medyo busangot ang mukha.

"Ano na namang ginagawa mo, dito?"

He grinned and picked up his guitar case. "Paalis na po ako Ma'am. Good morning!" prente nitong sagot.

Nagtawanan ang iba sa sinabi niya. Ms. Corazon eyed the classroom with a frown.

"Bakit ang gulo ng mga upuan dito? Arrange the chairs!"

Bahagya pa akong nataranta nang ilagay ko ang aking bag sa upuan. The rest of my classmates groaned and arranged their chairs properly.

My heart thumped inside of my chest. The guy with an intimidating aura glanced at me again. I have to crane my neck to properly look at him. Matangkad siya. I guess he's towering six flat. Kaya pala hindi siya nababagay sa classroom na ito dahil hindi niya naman talaga ito classroom.

What grade is he, then? Grade 10? 12?

"Magsisimula na ang klase ko, Mr. Ferrer. Tapos na ang concert mo. Makakaalis ka na..."

"Si Ma'am naman, highblood masyado. Kaya hindi ka nagkaka-asawa eh..."

"Mr. Ferrer!"

Naghalakhakan ang mga kaklase ko sa sinabi niya. Napanguso ako. He's crass! I would never have the audacity to say that to my teacher...

Umikot siya sa inuupuan ko. Ang akala ko'y aalis na siya pero bigla nalang itong huminto sa harapan ko.

Muntik na akong mapatalon sa gulat nang yumuko siya at itinukod ang kaniyang isang kamay sa sandalan ng aking upuan. He's pinning me to the chair!

Titig na titig siya sa akin. My heart pounded wildly inside of my chest. Now all of my classmates are staring at us. Some of them gasped.

"Anong pangalan mo?" tanong nito sa boses niyang may gaspang sa dulo ng bawat salita.

"N-Naia..." utal-utal kong sagot sa kaniya.

"Naia...?" he smirked.

"Parvana Naia...." Pagkaklaro ko.

"Oh. Parvana Naia Ferrer..." he said in a husky voice.

Nabingi ako sa hiyawan ng mga kaklase ko. May iilang tinulak-tulak pa ang upuan ko dahilan upang masubsob ako sa dibdib niya! The first three buttons of his uniform are open, revealing the white undershirt inside.

Mabilis na kumalat ang init sa pisngi ko at hindi naman magkamayaw ang mga kaklase ko.

I inhaled a large dose of his scent, making me dizzy for a while. It's just so strong and I couldn't handle it... just like how I couldn't handle him right now and the bold advances that he's making to me despite meeting for the first time!

"Class! Keep quiet!" sigaw ni Ms. Corazon pero walang pumansin sa kaniya.

I planted my hands on his chest, my first time coming in contact with a man's chest before gently pushing him away. Nanginginig ang mga labi ko nang mag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. He's still staring at me as if he knew all of my darkest secrets. May gustong ipahiwatig ang mga mata niya sa akin.

"Parvana Naia Bukhari ang pangalan ko. Hindi Ferrer ang apelyido ko." pagkaklaro ko sa kaniya.

"Ohhh...." My classmates continued being noisy again, at inasar-asar na ngayon ang lalaking pangalan ay Zeus.

"Oh, don't worry about that, baby girl. Gagawin nating Ferrer ang apelyido mo..." he winked at me before a cruel sexy smirk claimed his lips.

Isinukbit nito ang kaniyang guitar case at prenteng naglakad palabas ng classroom na tila ba pagmamay-ari niya ito. 

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Disclaimer: I am not a Muslim. So please correct me if I'm wrong regarding the Muslim culture as all information incorporated are products of my research.

Thank you and enjoy reading! :)