10/1

       It's been a few months since I have talked to Minx or anyone. School ended, and by that, I mean a new semester, and we are now two months into a new year.  A new year meant new choices to make, new friends, a brand new start. 

A brand new start.

Wow, that sounded really nice, didn't it? So far, the two months I've spent in this new semester haven't been so bad. Minx has been so much more energetic than the last time we encountered. She's what you would call a "ball full of energy." Besides Minx, someone else had been doing so much better as well.

Chilled. God, he was just even better than ever before. Not only mentally, but physically as well. His looks went up by 100% and I'm craving him more than ever. Having to spend months with no contact to anyone was hell. I can't really complain though, Chilled had tried helping me in that period of time. He would come over to my house and knock, say a few words and leave. He was checking up on me and I loved the kind gesture. But I never returned it. I was such a stuck up idiot. I should have just walked my sorry ass up and opened that door and threw my arms around him. I would have felt so much better than I did when I was just ignoring the whole world.

But now that I'm back, I guess you could say I'm better than ever? I haven't wrote in my journal for a long time, yes I know. But that doesn't mean I lost all hope. No, not at all. I'd like to say that I've gained so much more hope for Chilled and I now. My anxieties are still here, but they won't stop me this time. I will get Chilled. There will be no excuses. No hiding behind a barrier of lies.

None of that bullshit that I used before. This year is new, fresh, and I will use that to my advantage to be a better person. 

Say goodbye to the old Steven, and hello to the newer Steven. Let's hope this year is filled with more hope than despair. 

Let's hope.

That's all I can wish for.