Chapter 15 - Are you Lonesome Tonight?
"I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the world's a stage
And each must play a part
Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweet heart
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change, you acted strange
And why I'll never know
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then they can bring the curtain down." - Elvis Presley - Are you Lonesome Tonight?
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The gigs at The Cavern were everything the boys dreamed of and more. More and more people came to see them every night. More and more girls screaming their names, but there was still only one girl on Paul's mind; his darling Daisy. Her bump was growing more and more every day, just like Paul's admiration for her and the way she coped with the whole pregnancy.
"It's not long now, is it, Paul?" Jim asked, gazing over at Paul as he smoked on his pipe.
"What, the baby?" Paul asked. Jim nodded. "Not long at all!" Paul started to grin.
"I can't wait to meet my first grandchild." Jim sighed softly.
"I can't wait, either! I can't wait for me to meet my little baby, or for you to meet them." Paul crinkled his nose.
"Do you have everything you need, son?" Jim arched a brow.
"I have Daisy and I have you, what more do I need?" Paul smiled softly, ducking slightly as Mike thumped his side.
"What about me?!" He scowled.
"Piss off." Paul squinted his eyes playfully, shoving him back.
"Are you seeing her today?" Jim reached for his cup of tea.
"I am, I'm seeing her this afternoon, actually." Paul grinned.
"Bring her home for tea, if you like." Jim smiled, placing his now empty cup of tea down.
"Thanks, dad, I'll certainly give her the offer!" Paul nodded.
"This is a world record for the amount of time you and Daisy have been together, isn't it?" Mike sniggered, looking at Paul.
"Shut up," Paul rolled his eyes, looking back at Mike, "It's been the happiest nine months of my life, actually."
"Ew, why do you always have to get so soppy?" Mike cringed, rolling his eyes.
"You'll understand when you're older." Paul shrugged, standing up. "I'm going up to get ready."
"'Get ready'?! You're already dressed! What are you going to do, put more clothes on top of what you've already got on?!" Mike watched him with a confused expression.
"I still need to make an effort!" Paul called down the stairs, smiling to himself as he walked into his bedroom. He reached for his leather jacket and pulled it on, zipping it up in hopes that it would keep the winter chill out.
Once he had combed his hair enough to fit in with the quiff he was after, he stepped into his shoes and made his way downstairs.
"So, you'll be back for tea, Paul?" Jim asked from the living room once he heard Paul's footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Yes! I'm going to get going because I need to stop by the shop on my way to Daisy's. I'll see you when I get back!" Paul responded in a jolly tone and opened the door, waving to his brother and father as he passed the living room window from outside.
He wanted to stop by the flower shop, so he got off the bus a couple of stops early. He was greeted by a warm smile as he walked inside, raising his eyebrows.
"Hello there!" The shopkeeper smiled.
"Afternoon." Paul nodded, walking over to the never ending bouquet of flowers and scanning them all until he found the perfect one for Daisy. He carefully lifted it out of its place and carried it to the till, handing it to the man as he reached into his pocket for his wallet.
"Thank you.... Paul, is it?" The shopkeeper raised a brow, punching the price into the till.
"Yes.. Have we met?" Paul blinked hard.
"No, no, I've just heard about you and your band from around the city." The man shrugged politely.
"Oh?" Paul widened his eyes, smiling.
"You've just moved to a spot in the centre, haven't you?" He asked.
"We have! We've been playing in The Cavern, theres much more room for us down there!" Paul chuckled, handing him the money.
"Well, best of luck with the future of it, mate." The man smiled, taking the money and handing Paul the flowers along with the his change.
"Thank you very much! Have a lovely day." Paul grinned, slipping the change back into his pocket before making his way out of the shop and back in the direction of Daisy's house.
That was the first time Paul had been recognised outside of a gig by someone who he had never seen before. It made him feel quite proud of himself, maybe even a little smug, too. People were starting to recognise the band and it's individual members. Mo was right, moving their performance to the centre of town really had boosted their ever-growing fanbase and popularity even more.
He held the flowers in his right hand and a cigarette in the other as he took a leisurely stroll down Daisy's street, exhaling the smoke with a soft sigh. The majority of nights, he would spend at Daisy's house, however, last night the band were on until late at The Cavern and he didn't want to tire Daisy out making her stay up late until he got back, especially with her being so far on with the pregnancy. He pushed the gate open, taking a few more drags from the cigarette before tossing it to the ground and stamping it out with the tip of his boot. A smile crept upon his lips before starting to whistle as he walked up the path, knocking on the door and keeping a firm grip on the flowers in his free hand.
"Paul!" Daisy's mother smiled widely as she opened the door, leaning forward to peck his cheek as she gestured for him to come in and through to the kitchen.
"Hello!" Paul crinkled his nose, pecking her cheek back, "I have reason to believe the most beautiful woman in the word lives here, is she around?" He arched a brow. "I brought her some flowers!"
"McCartney, are you trying to seduce my wife again?" Daisy's father teased, playfully squinting his eyes as he walked into the kitchen.
"Damn, caught again!" Paul teased back, jokingly snapping his finger and thumb together.
"It's going to take a lot more than flowers, let me tell you that." Daisy's father winked, nudging her mother gently.
"Oh, stop it, you two!" Daisy's mother waved her hands, laughing as she shook her head. "He means Daisy! She had gone up to rest the last time I saw her, she's most likely asleep now."
"I bet! She must be absolutely shattered." Paul widened his eyes, "Is there anything I can do? Run her a bath, maybe? For when she wakes up?" He smiled softly.
"Oh, Paul.. You're such a sweetheart! She would absolutely love that." Daisy's mother placed her hand over her heart, narrowing her eyebrows, "Let me find you a vase for those beautiful flowers. I'll keep them for her down here so she'll see them when she comes down!"
"Thank you!" Paul grinned and handed her the flowers, crinkling his nose. "I'll go up and see my sleeping beauty."
"Alright!" Her mother nodded, watching him as he kicked his shoes off. Paul quietly made his way upstairs and toward Daisy's room, sighing softly once he saw her peacefully sleeping face. He pursed his lips and walked into the bathroom, putting the plug into the bath before starting to run the hot water mixed with a dash of cold to ensure it was the right temperature. Once he was satisfied with it, he dried his hands off and walked back down the stairs.
"Do you have any candles?" He asked, making Daisy's mother jump from the sudden, unexpected voice having not heard Paul come back downstairs.
"Paul!" She chuckled, blinking hard before turning to him.
"Sorry!" He laughed with her, amused at her reaction. "Do you have any candles?" He repeated himself once he had stopped laughing.
"I'm watching you, McCartney." Daisy's father teased from the kitchen table, scowling playfully at him.
"What?!" Paul laughed out his words.
"Trying to impress my wife!" He tried not to laugh.
"No! I'm trying to impress Daisy!" Paul crinkled his nose, taking the candles off her mother, "Thank you!"
"I'm only messing!" Her father chuckled, turning his attention back to the newspaper.
"Ignore him." Her mother playfully rolled her eyes before raising her eyebrows, "Will they be alright?"
"Perfect." Paul nodded politely and walked back up the stairs and into the bathroom, carefully spreading the candles out evenly throughout the bathroom before taking his matches out of his pocket and lighting them. Once the bath was full enough, he turned the taps off and checked the temperature one last time before standing up properly and looking around, proud of his little surprise. He walked quietly back toward Daisy's room and carefully pushed the door open before walking over to her and crouching down, gently brushing her hair out of her face.
"H-Hm?" She squeaked sleepily, still with her eyes closed.
"It's only me, darling.." Paul spook soothingly, lightly brushing the back of his index finger across her cheek.
"Paulie..." She mumbled, reaching out clumsily for his hand. Paul crinkled his nose and allowed her to take his hand, smiling to himself as she guided it toward her stomach. Their fingertips brushed back and forth over the now large bump, making Paul sigh happily to himself.
"How are you both doing, hm?" Paul arched a brow, keeping his palm flat and still against her stomach.
"We're doing fine, thank you. How are you?" Daisy looked up at him with sleepy eyes, smiling.
"I'm great, thank you.." Paul grinned, leaning down to brush their lips together, "I'm /so/ excited."
"It's so soon.." Daisy gasped playfully, rubbing her fingertips back and forth over Paul's knuckles.
"I've run you a bath!" Paul spoke in a jolly tone, brushing her hair behind her ear, "You deserve to have a nice, relaxing soak."
"Paul..." Daisy bit her lip with a grin, shaking her head, "You know my parents won't exactly approve of us both taking a bath together while they're in the house, right?"
"Oh, come on! It's just for you!" Paul chuckled out his words, playfully tapping the tip of his finger against her nose.
"Oh!" Daisy covered her mouth, giggling. "Thank you."
"You're welcome, I'm not the one carrying another human!" Paul widened his eyes, smiling as she leaned forward to kiss his lips again.
"Thank you, Paul... I'll go and get in it!" She smiled sweetly as she climbed out of bed after Paul kissed her back. Paul leaned back on his elbows and watched her closely, his eyes trailing down to the bump in her stomach and back up to her face.
"You're so beautiful, baby..." He shook his head, letting out a soft sigh. "I can't believe how beautiful my little family is going to be."
"Shh..." Daisy playfully covered her face, laughing shyly.
"Enjoy yourself in there, Daisy, I hope I got the temperature right!" He teased, winking at her.
"I wont be long." She spoke as she walked toward the bedroom door.
"You can take as long as you'd like, darling." Paul smiled softly, keeping his sparkling eyes on her, "Call me if you need anything."
"I will, thank you." Daisy blew him a kiss from the doorway before disappearing toward the bathroom, keeping a robe wrapped around her.
Paul laid back on the bed and folded his arms behind his head, unable to wipe the grin off his face as he gazed up at the ceiling.
"Knock, knock." A voice sounded from the other side of the door before making their way in.
"Hello." Paul greeted her with a warm grin, immediately looking up toward the door.
"You haven't fallen asleep, hm?!" She joked, pulling the towel around her body a little tighter.
"Don't be daft, I was too excited to see you again." He stuck his tongue out at her.
"Of course." She rolled her eyes playfully with a grin, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Did you enjoy yourself in there?" He raised his eyebrows, turning to face her.
"I did, thank you. It was lovely and relaxing." She nodded, drying off her legs while keeping the majority of the towel wrapped around her.
"Anything to make you happy." He spoke happily, "Can I get you anything? A cup of tea? Hot chocolate?"
"Ooh, this is a very different Paul... Usually you can't wait to get this towel off me." She bit her lip, gazing over at him.
"Well, I've grown up... I had to grow up, I had no choice." He shrugged, "I'm going to be a dad, you feeling comfortable is more important. Plus, I've always thought of you a lot more than just someone to tear clothes off." He smiled politely.
"We had a choice... And here we are." She widened her eyes, resting both of her hands over her bump.
"Yeah, well.. I mean... Regardless of what happened that night, I can't wait to see what we made because of it. It's going to make everything so worth while." Paul responded.
"What, so anything up to this point hasn't been worth while?" She asked, squinting her eyes.
"Daisy, thats not what I said..." Paul scowled.
"We used to be all over each other... All the time. Whats happened?" She blinked hard, looking away from him, "You don't find me attractive anymore because I'm pregnant, do you?"
"Daisy!" Paul exclaimed, immediately shaking his head, "I think you look absolutely beautiful, no matter what. I don't mean to upset you by not being all over you all the time, but I didn't think you'd exactly want that with being so heavily pregnant! I do know how to lay off and control myself, you know."
"Or find someone else to give it to.." She mumbled, looking down at her feet.
"What?!" Paul scowled, shaking his head quickly.
"Well, it makes sense, right? You haven't been getting any from me the last few weeks, so..." She blinked hard.
"So?" Paul studied her face.
"So.. You must be getting it for someone else. Otherwise you'd be all worked up when you come to see me." She shrugged.
"Daisy..." Paul sighed deeply as he covered his face with his hands, "I hope you realise how ridiculous this sounds. I wouldn't dare lay a finger on another woman. You are the only woman that I think of... Ever." He spoke into his hands before lifting his head up, looking directly at her, "Daisy, I absolutely adore you. It kills me when you say things like that."
"I just know that the more known you get, the more women will want you." She chewed her bottom lip.
"But what does that matter when all I want is you?" Paul raised his eyebrows, moving closer to her. Daisy stayed completely silent, breathing slowly. "Come on, Daisy.. Listen to me. I love you." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, swallowing hard as he leaned in to brush his lips against her cheek. She still said nothing. Paul's fingertips moved lightly back and forth over her shoulder that was poking through the towel. He sighed deeply, gazing at her, "This is going to be so great, baby.. Me, you and our baby. Let's not throw it all away, hm?"
"What about your job?" She asked bluntly.
"My job? My job is being in the band, Daisy." Paul blinked hard.
"Is that it? Do you think we can raise a child on the hope that you might get a couple of gigs every now and then?" She spoke quietly.
"We've been getting gigs almost every night! With the way things have been going, we'll be getting a record deal before you know it." He widened his eyes.
"And what about me, hm?" She squinted her eyes, "I'm ready to have this child any moment and I'm still studying like crazy so that I can get a job working in astronomy. A secure job that will be a guaranteed monthly income. Are you guaranteed to have a monthly income from the band?"
"W-Well... I'd like to think so, yes. We want to do it as much as possible and get our music to as many people as possible. Haven't you seen the crowds we're attracting now?! Theres barely enough room to fit them all into the venue!" He looked at her, rubbing her shoulder gently.
"And you'll be going back and forth to wherever you can get gigs." Daisy completely ignored what he had just said, "So, you can't get a job that guarantees you a wage because all you've ever done is put your time and effort into a band, and you might not even be here half the time to see your family because you'll be going god know where to do god knows what somewhere else to earn the money for the upkeep of your own family." She lowered her eyes to the floor again. Paul stayed quiet this time, unsure of what to say and confused at why she'd suddenly gotten so bitter. He remained in a silent stare before Daisy said the one thing she knew would get him to bite, "Do you think this is what your mother would've wanted?"
"Don't you /dare/ bring my mother into this!" He exclaimed, feeling the anger rising in his body. He was certainly never a violent person, especially not to or in front of Daisy, but he hated hearing those few words. "I'm sure she would've loved to have seen her son achieving his dreams and raising a beautiful family.. What my mother would've wanted has nothing to do with what you're accusing me of!"
"And don't you /dare/ speak to me like that!" She raised her voice, shaking his hand off her shoulder before standing up.
"Daisy, I don't know if you're being like this because of how the hormones are flying around your body, but this certainly isn't fair on me and-..." He tried to speak.
"Not fair on you? Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were the one that's had to carry your child for the last nine months!" She rolled her eyes.
"I know I'm not, but I'd like to have a bit of a say in how you're treating the father of your child, seen as I kind of had a part in making said child!" Paul also stood up, breathing heavily.
"Yes, you had a part in making it, but you haven't had to deal with the sleepless nights, the back pains, the extreme tiredness I've had to go through!" She shook her head.
"I have been here for you every single time you have needed me! Whenever you couldn't sleep at night, I'd do absolutely anything that would help you, anything you wanted. I've been at your beck and call for the whole of the last nine months and now that we're almost there with the baby, this is how you treat me?!" Paul let out a deep breath, reaching out for her, "I'm sorry that I haven't been the one thats had to go through all the physical and mental pain, but I'd like to think I have done anything I can to help you along the way. Come on, please..."
"It's times like this when I wonder whether I should just bring the baby up on my own." She spoke quietly, refusing to look at him.
"What? Baby, no! Please..." He narrowed his eyebrows, moving closer to her. "This is /our/ baby! You can't bring this child up without their father!"
"I can bring my child up however I'd like." Daisy shook her head.
"That child is half mine, too! I won't allow you not let me see our baby!" Paul felt his hands shaking, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"You don't own me or have a say in what I do, Paul." Daisy let out a shaky breath.
"I know I don't, but surely I have some custody of our child, don't I?!" Paul scowled.
"Daisy, is everything alright?" Her father called from the bottom of the stairs.
"Have you heard how he's speaking to me, dad?!" Daisy called back, walking to her bedroom door.
"What?!" Paul exclaimed, following her. "Daisy, you're imagining it all! Theres no 'other woman'! I'm going to do absolutely everything I can for this child, I don't know why you're being like this!"
"Leave." Daisy bit her trembling lip, pointing toward the stairs. "I'm sure someone will let you know when the baby is here."
"Don't you dare speak to my daughter like that!" Daisy's father raised his voice.
"No! Daisy, no! Please!" Paul pleaded, narrowing his eyebrows before gasping as soon as he felt her father's hand grabbing the collar of his leather jacket. Paul grasped onto the bannister to stop himself from stumbling down the stairs, looking around with widened eyes. Her father dragged him down the stairs and through the kitchen, toward the door, "What is happening?!"
"First of all, you better never speak to my daughter in that tone ever again," He shoved Paul through the door once he opened it, keeping a tight grip on his jacket as he pulled him directly in front of him speaking in a stern tone, "Second... I don't know what just happened up there, but if you even think of allowing Daisy to raise this child all by herself and not have a part in it yourself, you've got another thing coming. You are going to give every penny you earn to this child, understood?" He raised his eyebrows.
"I-... Yes." Paul nodded quickly, adrenaline pumping around his body in confusion.
"Now clear off. I don't want to see you near her until you come and see the baby." He glared at Paul, pushing him toward their garden path and letting go of his jacket. Paul desperately fought to keep his balance before gripping onto the fence and opening the gate, walking out onto the pavement and shaking his head repeatedly, rubbing his hands over his face.
What on earth had just happened? Paul had just been thrown out of his girlfriend's house and now he wasn't even sure if he would be able to raise his own child. Every time things were just about to get right between the two of them, they would fall apart again. This time was even worse, the things she said to him, the things she accused of him... Threatening him with not being able to see the baby. His hands shook madly as he fumbled with a match, cigarette between his trembling lips. He couldn't hold it still long enough to light his cigarette, blowing it out before throwing the entire packet to the ground in anger. He couldn't process any of what happened, his heart was racing. Were they over? Again? For good? Would he be able to hold his own little new born baby? Maybe he said something wrong, he thought, maybe he shouldn't have risen to what she said about his mother. Tears were rolling down his face; tears of sadness, tears of anger, tears upon tears as he tried to wipe them away with the back of his hands.
All the way home, he was constantly trying to think of ways he could blame himself, ways he could even attempt at making it better again. He wanted to speak to her parents, apologise to them for upsetting Daisy, but he knew that if he set foot anywhere near them until they told him to, he would only get shoved away again. He didn't know why she acted like that with him. It broke his heart to think that she would even think of him with another woman, let alone accuse him of it.
He unlocked the front door of his house and weakly pushed it open, kicking his shoes off as he sniffled quietly.
"You're home, son!" Jim called in a jolly tone from the front room, "Is Daisy with you, hm? Is she coming for tea?" He asked.
"No..." Paul's voice trembled. He couldn't face his father and brother looking like this so he remained behind the slightly cracked open door.
"Oh, that's a shame." Jim responded, "Still, I must feed my two sons, I suppose!" He chuckled.
"I... I'm not hungry. I need to go and work on some things for the band upstairs." He lied, swallowing hard, trying not to let himself break down there and then from everything going around in his head. "I'll be down in a bit." He took an uneasy breath, starting to walk up the stairs.
"Paul, I hope you're alright." Jim spoke in a slightly concerned voice.
"I- I am..." He lied again, "Don't wait for me, I'll be down shortly."
He barely even had the energy to lift his feet up the stairs. He almost walked into his bedroom door to open it and tossed his jacket off to the floor. He was a mess, he felt like there was no way of making it better this time. He needed something to just make him think about something else, anything else. He could only feel himself falling deeper and deeper into a terrible state, almost feeling physically sick from what had just happened. He turned to the only thing that could help him in the slightest when he was feeling this low; music. He reached for his collection of records and selected one at random, not even having the energy to choose one of his favourites. He set it on his record player before climbing onto his bed and bringing his knees up to his chest, hugging his arms around them. He leant back against the headboard of his bed and rested his forehead against his knees, feeling his tears start to fall down his cheeks again. Elvis was the record that had been chosen, the first song being 'Are You Lonesome Tonight?'. Paul sobbed softly into his jeans covering his knees and, not for the first time, he could relate to the lyrics projecting out of his record player:
"I wonder if you're lonesome tonight,
You know someone said that the world's a stage,
And each must play a part,
Fate had me playing in love with you as my sweet heart,
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance,
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue,
Then came act two, you seemed to change, you acted strange,
And why I'll never know,
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me,
And I had no cause to doubt you,
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies,
Than go on living without you,
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there,
With emptiness all around,
And if you won't come back to me,
Then they can bring the curtain down."
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Well, well, well... Didn't that take a turn? What do you think?
Thank you for reading!
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