THREE MONTHS HAVE passed and Freddie wasn't getting any better. He would wake up and lean over to the side so he could cough up blood as it would land onto the hospital room floor. He barely slept, all I could do was sit there and hold onto his hand for dear life.

I was afraid of losing him, and unfortunately, I knew that one day I would have to let him go.

Let him go, and set him free. . .

"I don't think he's going to live much longer," the nurse said sympathetically as she put in another IV in Freddie's wrist. I could only nod, not exactly agreeing with her statement, but I had to face reality and take it as it was.

I looked at my friend's lain body, and all I could do was cry. Tears fell from my face as I clenched my fists in frustration; wondering why God let it happen.

I will never leave you nor forsake you.
- Hebrews 13:5

I mentally scoffed at the remembrance of that verse; finding the whole concept of it to be a myth. I used to believe in miracles, but that all washed down the drain once my father left.

When I was a little girl, I would pray day in and day out about my father; asking God to bring him back into my life, but He never did. I hated religion, prayer and everyone who believed since then.

I now look at Freddie who is still in the hospital bed, straining to keep his eyes closed. I could see his hands clench onto the bed railing; groaning in agony. It pained me to see him suffer.

I sighed, then looked down at my hands as tears continued to shimmer down my face. Clasping my hands together, I let out what I needed to say to the man upstairs. I hadn't prayed in years, but if this is the only thing to give any ounce of hope, I had to at least try.

Father thou art in Heaven,
How thy be thy name,
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done as Earth as it is in Heaven,
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us for our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us out of temptation, and deliver us from evil,
Thy now is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever.

Amen.

"Jesus," I began, "I haven't been exactly faithful towards you and I know I have sinned, so I come to you and ask if you could forgive me for my sins. I am burdened, and I need you now more than ever," I cried, furrowing my eyebrows as I let my tears go. "I need you Jesus, please, Lord Jesus, give me a sign that Freddie will be alright."

I sighed, "But, if it's in your will to let him come home, Father, by all means I can't stop you. In Jesus' name," --I bit my lip, looking at Freddie's pale face--- "Amen."

Now all there's left to do is wait. . .

...