I SAT IN class, taking notes and ignoring every snide comment that was made about me. Since Freddie and I broke up, I had tried to occupy myself with education.
Though at night, when I try and fall asleep, I can't seem to get him out of my head. He became a part of me.

When I walked into my Spanish class, I went over to my desk, seeing Freddie sitting at the desk adjacent to mine. Though I hadn't intended to look, I took a quick glance at him and instantly, my heart fell.

Aside from the dark circles under his eyes, Freddie had gotten pale alongside his visable cheekbones. His jaw was stern, but his hands trembled as well as his breath. He wore the same leather jacket he had worn the first day we encountered, but not once did he meet my gaze.
I hated hurting him, but in a logical sense, he hurt me.

I tried to get a glimpse of him more, but I caught his cold, stern eyes glaring right at me. He looked like a crazed man.

Quickly turning away, I remained my glance at the board; ferociously taking notes.

And all I could feel were cold chills running down my spine.

..

I walked towards my car, the cold English weather welcoming me with its cool breeze. Just as I was about to start the ignition, I heard a knock on my window.

I rolled it down and slowly looked up; meeting a disheveled Freddie Highmore.

"What do you want, Freddie?"
Freddie exhaled a breath he had been holding, the cool mist escaping his lips.

He met my gaze, his jaw stiffened. Then, he held my chin underneath his fingertips and, without hesitation, pressed his lips softly against mine.

He pulled away.

"I'm sorry."

I furrowed my eyebrows, biting my bottom lip.
"What, do you think everytime you mess up that you can just kiss me and everything will be alright?" I clenched my fists underneath the steering wheel.

"You took my innocence, Freddie. You took the only part of me I had to control, and you lured me into your sick, twisted hold."

Freddie walked around the car and yanked the passenger's side door open.
He slammed it shut, then turned sharply to meet my gaze.

"No, I don't think that every time I kiss you everything will be okay!" he clenched his fists. "Don't you understand? I'm a fucking wreck without you."

He took a deep breath as he looked out the window.

He looked back at me, but I didn't meet his gaze.
"I have been a bloody wreck, Amelia. Do you think I like hurting you? Do you think I liked fucking you? I didn't. I didn't because you make me into someone I can't control. You make me into something good."

He dug his fingertips under my chin, making me look into his dark-brown eyes.
"I want you to teach me to be better---I want to be a better man."

He leaned closer, his lips inches away from mine.

"And I am only asking you this because I want to be a better man for you."

His lips captured my bottom lip as he sucked on it. The tip of his tongue running along my lips as he continued to suck on my mouth.
I let it happen, but I had to put a stop to it before it got out of hand.

I pulled away, then stared at him.

"I need you to help me get some stuff from my dad's apartment," I mumbled. "but as of right now we're just friends."

Freddie bit his lip and nodded with a breath escaping from his nostrils.

"I don't care what we are. All I want is to be with you."

I started the car, and we drove to my dad's place in silence.

..

The drive to my dad's apartment was about forty-five minutes. When I was younger, my mother told me he had left to England---Manchester to be exact---and since then I wanted to have some sort of bond with the man that helped bring me into this world.

Freddie kept his eyes to the window; not saying a single word.

We parked in front of my dad's driveway, a nervous feeling forming as my heartbeat accelerated.

Walking up to my dad's door, I began to knock; a tight knot forming at the pit of my stomach.

"Fucking shit!" I heard my dad curse. According to the sound of objects crashing to the floor, he was intoxicated; something I had predicted.

"You okay?" Freddie mumbled in my ear. I shook, my mind and body numb.

Before me stood my father. His eyes reddened due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

"Amelia?" he slurred. I let out a shaky breath, giving my father a smile.
He only kept his chin stern.

"What does your mother want now?" he asked, then he turned to Freddie.
"Who the fuck is he?"

I looked over at my friend and sighed.
"He's my friend, Dad."

Without hesitation, Freddie extended his hand out to my dad. My dad, of course, shook it carelessly. He then sighed and let us in.

All I could do was silently pray things would not blow out of proportion.

...