Why is goodbye so hard to say? There's nothing good in goodbye. 

It could be for a minute, a day, a month, a year, forever. 

The hardest goodbyes are to the people you love the most. When you say goodbye to them, if you love them then it will tear your heart to pieces.

My friends live a half hour away from me. They live in the same neighborhood. They can see each other whenever. But for me, I can't. I just sit in my room alone and cry.

They mean everything to me. I am so happy to see them, but I dread the goodbye. There is never a right time to say goodbye. But I know I am lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

I've  never really been good at goodbyes. So when Bri left for high school, I wrote her a note. I knew that if I tried to tell her in person, I'd just cry. It's easier to write it out. Because then, I can cry while writing it, and it makes it easier to write my true feelings. I hope she still has it.

Everyone who has lost a best friend, I understand you. Whether it is a fight, you went your separate ways, or you or your best friend moved, I understand. 

IF anyone needs to talk, message me. I'll help you to the best of my abilities. 

But please, never take your time with the ones you love for granted, because one day, it'll be too late. You'll be laughing with them and enjoying your life one day, and the next they'll be gone.

It has been hell for me to go through so many things without them. And I truly hope they know they're loved. Because they are. By me.

They deserve so much more than they've gotten. And I'm still happy for them, even though one has a boyfriend (*screeches*) and another has wonderful friends and I'm here struggling to keep my grades up. 

Here I am, moved back down to normal math, and they're having fun. But do I hate them for it?

Of course not. Even if my parents died, my brother turned to drugs, and everything bad you could possibly imagine happened to my family, so long as they had a nice life, I'd still carry one with my head held high.

Goodbyes may be hard, but they're a part of life. And we need to accept that. But what I like to keep in mind is that every ending has a new beginning. We may say goodbye, but I know that at some point, well say hello again.  

I want to thank them for all the memories and inside jokes. I tell those to myself when I feel like killing myself. And it keeps me going, even if for just one hour. 

And everyone, my best friends especially, my wish for you is that life becomes all you want it to. Your dreams stay big and your worries stay small. You never have to carry more than you can hold. And while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too. 

I love you Bri. And I'd do anything to make you happy, even if it meant saying goodbye. So if you don't like me anymore, of you just can't stand me, tell me that it would make you happy if I didn't speak to you and I'll go. It doesn't mean I want to, and it doesn't mean it'll be easy, but if it makes you happy, I'd do it. 

You'll always be my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye. Why? Because you're my friend, because I love you, because you hold that one special place in my heart that only those I truly trust and love can hold. You mean the world to me, and if I was offered the thing I wanted the most, it would be time with you. 

And I thank you for your part in my life. So many memories, so many jokes. It's hard now, writing this without tearing up. When you came and visited me at school a few days ago, I felt like crying and just hugging you and not letting go. I missed you, even though we saw each other not long ago. 

Goodbyes are hard to say when you truly love someone. And Bri, you will always be my hardest goodbye...