so uh I say to myself "hm. my friends sing this all the time, why don't i listen to the actual video of it and see how much i like it..."

*eight hours later*

"THIS IS GOSPEL FOR THE VAGABONDS,
NE'ER-DO-WELL'S, INSUFFERABLE BASTARDS
CONFESSING THEIR APOSTASIES
LED AWAY BY IMPERFECT IMPOSTORS

DON'T TRY TO SLEEP THROUGH THE END OF THE WORLD
BURY ME ALIVE
'CAUSE I WON'T GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT

*SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH*

iF yOU lOvE Me lET mE gOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOO                                                                        iF yOU lOvE Me lET mE gOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooo
'CAUSE THESE wOrDs ARE KniVeS THAT ofTeN LEAVE SCAAARRRSSS                                                    THE FEAR OF FALLING APART
AND TrUtH bE tOlD i NeveR waS yOuRs

THE FEAR, THE FEAR OF FALLING APART"

so yeah that's my mood, listening to P!ATD. no im not just listening to that song. im listening to songs like i write sins not tragedies (love that, tie between that and nine in the afternoon as a favourite), death of a bachelor, crazy=genius, and others.

damn guys, i never thought id love this is gospel after hearing "if you love me let me goooooooooooooooooooooo" for 8 hours on a bus ride last year... 

this is what happens when i try new things. i either a) end up loving something i said id hate, b) hate it or c) not even be motivated to do it in the first place. just like capitalization rn. im done with that for today. 

wel p i gotta get in the shower now. ugh. oh, and oscar, if youre reading this, i wont be on skype "until after the holidays" because i got grounded... i plan on telling everyone on the skype squad 2.0 tomorrow, but yeah. 

wait

i have to go that long without talking to isaac?!

damn.

everyone, prepare for a depressed asf me coming up... 

im already having a shitty week and its tuesday.

its only fucking tuesday.

im not sure what changed, and i know this is gonna end like every other good thing, but meeting isaac was such a blessing.

tbh, i probably wouldve ended it before now if a) i wasnt afraid of what would be said about me at my school, b) i wasnt leaving behind 2 depressed and suicidal friends, c) i didnt have my wattpad fam supporting me when nobody else was, d) every one of my online friends didnt make me feel so special and loved every day, and e) i hadnt met the best boyfriend ever

yeah.

oh yeah, i have to do a lot of spanish in the next 2 days. ive got like 3 lessons and a DBA for module 3, all of module 4, and a DBA for module for to be done before midnight on thursday. damn

ive been cussing a lot in this 

fuck it, im so pissed at my teachers but also happy because i got a 98% on my biology midterm and an 85% on my algebra exam

shit, i wonder what i got on my literature exam

eh, ill find out soon, hopefully

FUCKFUCKFUCK

ive got my history exam tomorrow and i havent studied at all

im fucked™

this is legit 495 words

i just wanted to announce that i kinda like P!ATD and it turned into a motherfucking rant

fuck

wait

ugh i have to deal with the biggest asshole for the rest of the week

and ive got a church dinner tomorrow night,

my grandparents are coming in for christmas,

my class is going to the skate station on thursday,

my class is having a christmas party tomorrow,

and my brother is having like 5 friends over friday and i have no skype/electronics priveledges...

damn, i gotta be on my best behavior and get up before 7am tomorrow and thrusday if i have any chance at having a chance to do chores to maybe earn back skype for at least 30 minutes

ugh, im screwed

and im getting off track again

i need a shower

actually, im gonna try and get this to 666 words

im almost there at 631, but

hmm, what to rant about

maybe how my anxiety almost got the best of me

OOH! i know

ive been replaced at my usual lunch table

ive been replaced my emily m

im happy but sad together 

got 666 words