So do you know how many panic attacks I had today? A lot. Why? I've got high school next year. That means going to a new place way bigger than my school with less than 300 students, that means no friends, my anxiety hitting twice as hard, and UG. Too much more. I'm panicking now just typing this. No friends, going into a place where everybody will ignore me, more homework, harder classes, different lunch periods than friends who are going to the same HS as me which means nobody to talk to at lunch, sitting alone, people finding out about my depression and bullying me, being made fun of for watching Aphmau, and so much more. 

I do not want to go to high school... and the worst part is that my best friends live so far away, and I hardly ever get to see them. They helped me get through the last school year without killing myself. Without them, I've tried to try to commit suicide four times already. Every time someone stopped me. UGHHHHH. Someone, please give me advice on how to handle all the shit coming my way next year...