Dick hung back as members of the Justice League and the covert ops team gathered around to watch Wally—dressed as the Flash—open his veritable mountain of presents, smirking quietly to himself. His mask hid the mischief in his eyes. His present wasn't in the pile, but Wally didn't know that yet. He'd find out soon enough, and it would eat at him, but he wouldn't ask Dick about it in front of everyone. His curiosity would get the better of him eventually, probably at the tail end of the party, and he would pull his husband aside. Until then, however, Dick's lips were sealed.

He'd probably start laughing if he opened his mouth, because this was going to be great. He couldn't believe his own genius, really. It had taken him months to perfect his gift, but it was finally ready. And just in time.

Wally unwrapped Bruce's gift. A new portable microscope, since Wally sometimes liked to take his work home. And Dick hadn't even needed to whisper in Bruce's ear this time.

"You're learning," he whispered to the hulking shape of black by his side. "Keep this up and your reputation as the legendary terror of the night will fly right out the window." Bruce grunted in response.

Wally got to the end of his presents. He frowned for a second, before his features smoothed out and M'gann distracted him with cake. Now it was only a matter of time.

Barbara brought Dick a slice of cake. "You're looking pleased with yourself."

"Am I? I hadn't noticed."

"Right." Barbara dug a spoon into her cake. "Your present is the only one not accounted for."

"That's by design," Dick replied, licking his spoon.

"Of course it is. You're not panicking. Besides, I've got access to your search history."

"Of course you do." Dick felt his cheeks heat up, but he pretended they hadn't. "I trust in your discretion, Barb."

Barbara snorted. "I'll turn off the cameras in your apartment tonight. Just in case."

"Thanks for not sticking one in our bedroom. Or the bathroom."

"Even I have limits. And I learned the hard way not to put microphones in people's bedrooms years ago."

Dick decided not to indulge his curiosity. "I don't want to know."

Barbara's answering smirk was a little worrying.

***

Later, Dick and Wally returned to their apartment, back in their civvies. Wally hadn't said anything yet, but he'd crack any moment now. Dick locked the door behind them.

"You've been very patient tonight," he said.

Wally raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly would I need to be patient about?"

"Who knows?" Dick replied. "Maybe I just forgot your birthday."

"You don't forget birthdays, babe," Wally said. "Our anniversary? Yes. Birthdays? Never."

"We both forgot our anniversary last time," Dick said.

Wally snorted. "Our first wedding anniversary. What a trainwreck."

"It turned out okay. We're pretty good at improvising."

Wally's eyes grew distant for a moment. "Hmm. We are."

Dick knew exactly where his mind was, and the memory of their anniversary left him a little hot under the collar himself. "All right. Game's over." Dick took his hand and led him to the bedroom, where a box sat on the bed. Dick had wrapped it in yellow paper and secured it with a red ribbon. Wally went ahead to examine it, while Dick leaned against the doorway to watch him, feeling pretty proud of himself for sneaking out of the party to place it there without Wally noticing.

"Should I be worried?" asked Wally. He picked the box up and shook it a little. It made no noise. Dick had padded the inside.

"I thought I'd give you something to spice up our marriage a bit," Dick said.

Wally pulled the ribbon. "I swear to God if this is just a jar of paprika..."

"Oh, you're so funny."

"I try." Wally got his thumbs into a fold and unwrapped the paper. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like that?" Dick said innocently.

"Like you're going to eat me alive." Wally got the wrapping paper off and started on the box itself.

"Well, maybe if you didn't taste so good..."

Wally snorted. He reached into the box and:

"You bought me a vibrator."

"Yes and no," Dick replied, grinning at Wally's incredulous expression. "I modified it."

"Those are the three scariest words in the English language, babe."

"It's safe, I promise," Dick replied. "I ran stress tests."

"Of course you did," Wally muttered.

Dick stepped into the room proper and joined Wally on the bed. "Hey, if you don't like it..."

"No, that's not it." Wally rolled the vibrator around in his hands. "I'm just wonder what you're planning to do to me with this."

Dick plucked it from Wally's fingers and poked him in the thigh. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"And now I'm terrified."

Dick climbed into Wally's lap. "Well, I'll have to do something about that, won't I?" He mashed their lips together, smiling into the kiss at Wally's answering groan.

Wally's fingers dug into Dick's hips. "Gonna tell me your evil plans yet?"

"Maybe. Say please."

"Fine. Please."

"All right." Dick fiddled with the hem of Wally's shirt. "You see, I'm spoiled."

"That's not news."

"Shh." Dick poked his cheek. "I'm very fortunate that my husband has a certain set of superpowers. And that he's willing to use them for... extracurricular activities."

Wally looked down at the vibrator in Dick's hand. "Oh. I see where this is going."

Dick grinned. "I knew you'd catch on. You've gotten very good at the vibrating thing. Very good." Dick and Wally shared a look. Dick could vividly remember the last time Wally had pulled out that particular ability of his. It had only been a few days ago, after all.

Wally nibbled on Dick's neck, his hands wandering south.

"Anyway," Dick gasped. "It's about time I returned the favour. I had to modify the motor to work faster than anything on the market, and had to replace some materials to make it—ah." Wally had slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of Dick's jeans.

"You've convinced me," Wally whispered.

"Then get your clothes off." Dick helped Wally pull his shirt off. Wally finished disrobing at super-speed, while Dick found the lubricant in a nightstand drawer. Wally was already hard, as was Dick, but tonight was about Wally.

Dick climbed back on the bed, grinning from ear-to-ear. This was going to be the best birthday Wally ever had.