Sleeping and trying not to think about Jayden have been the only things happening in my life for the past night and day. I tried so hard to get my relationship with Jayden to where it was, but I've ruined it. I don't know if my heart can take being rejected by Jayden. I know it's a selfish reason for not telling him about everything yet, but I just want to wait until my heart hardens a little more. It's so freshly injured from the whole Manus thing. I don't know how much more hurt it can take.

Small knocks come from my bedroom door followed by my mom's sweet voice, "Hunny, can I come in?"

I don't bother answering her. I don't have the energy for it. I guess it didn't matter anyway because the next thing she does is open my door.

She must have unlocked it from the outside because I swear I locked it before I got into bed. I hear her gentle steps make their way over to my bed and she sits down next to me. Gently, she places her hand on my side.

"Soph, please talk to me, I know you're awake." She says.

I continue to stare out my balcony window. I just don't think I can talk. Even if I could, I wouldn't know what to say. Is this what Georgia felt when she stopped talking completely?

"I wanted to tell you that we got Manus. We have him locked up in a cell along with his Beta and a few of his higher ups." I shiver in fear at the name.

I picture how many chains it must take to keep Manus concealed. He is a very big guy so it must be a lot. But wait, if we have him chained up in a cell that must mean that Alpha Renalds helped save me... Why would he do that? He doesn't like me.

"Did Alpha Renalds help?" I ask quietly.

Mom begins to stroke my hair as she says, "Yes, he was a big help. Especially in finding Manus. Although I have to say, the hardest part was convincing him to attack another pack."

She sighs and pauses for a moment.

"That mate of yours though, he was the main reason for his father's change in spirit. That boy really loves you Soph. He didn't give up on finding you once. I'm surprised he is even functioning properly, he hasn't slept in weeks." She says.

My head immediately flashes to Jayden. He never gave up? He didn't go to Ashley? He did all that for me and I betrayed him. Honestly I can't believe myself. I didn't even bother to look at his physical appearance... he must have been exhausted. I don't deserve him as my mate. He is too good of a guy for me.

"Speaking of Jayden, why is he still here but not in here with you? Are you okay?" She asks me.

Am I okay? Would anyone be okay after going through everything I did? And what about Georgia? She is just gone? Did I imagine her to keep myself from going insane? I'm so confused.

But I had no idea Jayden was still here. I figured he would just go back to the pack house. Won't his father get mad if he doesn't go home? I can't have other people getting mad at Jayden because he is worried about a mate that doesn't deserve him.

"Where is he?" I ask.

"He is waiting outside. He said he doesn't want to intrude on us. I told him he was welcome to come in but he insisted."

Mom stops stroking my hair and stands up from the bed.

"I know you are hurting Soph, but he is too. Don't leave him alone. I will be in bed with Will if you need us. We will talk in the morning."

She kisses my head. Then she is gone, leaving me alone to think.

She is right, he is hurting. He will be hurting more once he finds out the truth though. So what's worse? Having him hurt now without my comfort, or telling him and have him push me away?

I suppose, that's selfish of me. He has the right to know. I can't do this anymore, especially since, according to mom, he hasn't been selfish once since I was taken. I need to tell him so he can move on and live his life with Ashley.

I slowly slide out of bed. I keep my blanket wrapped around me tightly as I slink out of my room and down the stairs. She said he was outside. I'm assuming out back, it has a better view of the moon.

I walk through the kitchen and hesitate to open the back door. I take in a shaky breath. Here goes nothing.

I open up the back door and look around for Jayden. I finally see him. He is lying down on a concrete bench that we have near the garden. He is looking up at the night sky. He seems lost.

I slowly approach the bench and wrap my blanket around me tighter. I'm not looking forward to this conversation and this blanket is the only sense of security that I have.

"Hi." I say quietly as I approach him.

He notices my presence now and turns to look at me. He sits up immediately and watches me as I get closer to him.

"Hi." he says cautiously.

I can tell he is being careful, not sure what he should or shouldn't say to me. He is unsure of my stability and I can't blame him, I'm not even sure how stable I am at the moment.

"I think we should talk." I add quietly.

I look into his eyes and I see fear in them. Maybe starting off with those words isn't the best. But after I tell him, he will understand.

"Okay." He says. "Do you want to sit?" He asks.

"No. This shouldn't take too long." I add.

I look up at the moon. Maybe I should start off by telling him everything I won't be able to once he leaves me.

"First off, thank you. My mom told me that you were a big part in convincing your dad to come get me. I don't know if you realize how happy I was when I saw you there." I sigh and look down, squeezing my blanket even more, "but there is something I should tell you. I know you are going to be mad, and hate me. I fully expect you to not even want to look at me after I tell you..."

I feel my eyes starting to water. I can't believe I'm doing this. I take a deep breath.

"While I was being held... Manus thought I was my mom. At first it was all innocent, he missed his love and I was there to fill the void. My mom told me to never disobey him... He was easily angered and I was scared."

The tears start to fall as I recall all the days with Manus, his gross kisses and dirty touches.

"I didn't want any of it to happen. At first I fought back but he was too strong... After a while, I just couldn't fight him off of me anymore."

Suddenly I feel a tight embrace and the next thing I know, I'm lying my head on Jayden's chest and balling my eyes out. This must be hard for him, holding someone in his arms that repulses him. I just need a few minutes of this. A few minutes to feel his comfort around me. A few minutes to let it all out.

After a while, my eyes begin to dry up. They have spilled enough tears to last me years of grieving. I sniffle for a moment, reaching up to wipe my puffy face.

"I'm sorry." I say and try to pull out of his arms.

He feels my struggle and lets go of me. I feel my heart begin to break, this is it. He won't want to talk to me from now on.

"Wait Soph." I hear Jayden say. His voice seems strained.

I look up at him, my eyes still fogged from my tears. He hesitates for a moment, but reaches up to my face with his hands. He wipes away my leftover tears with his thumbs and gazes into my eyes.

My heart jumps. To my surprise, what I see in his eyes isn't hate but love.

"Sophia, I am so sorry."

I just look at him shocked. He moves his hands to my back and pulls me in for another hug.

"I had no idea. I should have found you sooner, I should have known where you were. It's all my fault this happened."

I blink a few times before I whisper, "You're not mad at me...?"

"Mad at you? Sophia how could I be mad at you, you didn't want to be put in that position. You did what you had to do. I can't believe I didn't find you sooner."

"Jayden you can't blame yourself. I'm surprised my mom even told you I was missing." I say.

"You think I wouldn't notice that you were gone for over a month? Sofia I came looking for you the day I got back from the ball. You weren't home and when I couldn't mind link you I knew something was wrong. I talked to your mom and she hadn't seen you either. Once I talked to Lexi and she had no idea where you were, I knew something happened.

"We searched and we searched but you were no where. Finally when your mom got your phone call we had a lead. It took us forever, but we finally found Manus. He was staying in New Hampshire. Once I convince my dad to strike, we went after you. I just wish I got to you sooner..."

I feel his arms stiffen in anger and I know he is mad at himself. I had no idea he was going to react like this. Now I don't know how to react.

I nuzzle my head into his chest and let my blanket fall to the floor. I reach up and hug Jayden. I feel him try to steady his breathing.

"I'm just glad you came for me at all. I thought you would hate me." I say as he finally gains full control of his wolf.

"Sophia, I could never hate you."