There are only a couple of hours left for the wedding to begin and I don't even know how my lungs manage to work. I'm pacing back and forth through my room and I'm breathing to deeply that I'm afraid I might panic.

I've never felt this way, but the situation is chaotic and I still don't know if the think I regret the most is sending that text to her or if that's my pass to something else but a friendship that is beginning to form.

I walk up to the porch and take a sip of the glass of water in the table. There's not much I can do now. I tragically pressed that damn send button and now it's too late. She either saw it or she didn't and the only thing I can do is to get dressed and drive all the way to the wedding.

So that's what I do. I reach for my closet and find the clothes I bought some days ago for this day. My hands and slightly quivering and I would never admit that I'm this tragically nervous.

I feel the palms of my hands sweating and I juts try to let out some sharp breaths in order for it to go away. But it doesn't.

When the subject is the blonde girl who makes me go insane, the side effects never really do go away.

Mother and the rest of the family had already left the house and I mentally thank God for that. I look at my reflection in the mirror and I pray that the person staring back at me won't do anything to ruin the only shot of happiness I have in this blue planet who circles around a globe of fire.

I get done dressing up and look at my clock. I have one hour and a half more. I decide to go in one hour so I can take this time to calm myself down because no one deserves to see me in this agonizing state.

I try to watch TV, eat something and even play the piano in out living room, but the only song I can manage to play is All I Want by Kodaline so I just stop.

When one hour has passed, I try to think of something that might help me to anticipate my tardiness, but I just remember that it would be extremely stupid to do that. So I get in the car and start driving and through the road, I ask myself if masterpieces like her are really so rare in this earth.

The moment I arrive, I stop the car and just sit still for some minutes. I let out my last pair of deep breaths and leave the car.

I can see that most people are already there and I notice how I'm the only guy who looks like a wreck in the middle of all these people.

I try to find Aiden amongst the crowd, but I don't, so I just sit in that table waiting for something to happen.

But it doesn't. So a half an hour later, people already start to sit down in the chairs for the ceremony to begin yet still, I'm a complete wreck.

I find my seat and wait for it to begin. I spot mom and dad sitting some rows in my front, but I don't bother going up there knowing that mom will scold me for arriving what she could call late.

The priest announces the ceremony will begin and everyone keeps quiet. I can see the little flower girls walking all the way to the aisle, dropping flowers as they walk. A photographer captures all of the moments and I find myself searching throughout the place for her. I see the groom up in the altar smiling like a fool.

Some minutes later, Isabella walks in. She looks beautiful and she looks kind of like her sister. Her dress is long and elegant and from the corner of my eye I see the groom discretely crying.

I can tell that he tries to blink back the tears, but every time he looks at her, more tears fall. The priest starts the ceremony and I feel myself zoning out and looking for her.

I can't seem to find her, so I just focus my attention back at the marriage.

An hour later, the ceremony is done. The people start walking towards the tables set for the dinner and I'm still desperately trying to find her.

I ask her mother if she's seen her anywhere and she tells me she's in the kitchen. I thank her and she tells me how much I've grown up and that Stephanie talked about me sometimes when I was gone.

I smile and make my way to the hotel's kitchen to find her. I don't know if I have the permission to come in, but I do anyways. There are a lot of people cooking and serving and cleaning. I spot her blonde hair next to a stove and I make my way towards her.

I call her and she looks back. I totally lose control of my brain once I see her.

She looks so fucking aesthetic it hurts.

She smiles, says hello and asks me if something is wrong.

It takes me way too long to respond and to finally match up the pieces and realize that no, she hasn't read the text or else she would be acting differently.

I tell her that I just came here to get a glass of water and saw her. I know I'm lying but there's no way I'm admitting to her that I spent the day wondering how the hell would she react when she saw that text. Or how she will react.

She tells me she's been waiting for the chef to prepare the special dessert for Bella, since she is allergic to hazelnuts.

I laugh a little and ask her if she's alright, only for precaution. She nods and says she's really happy for her sister.

A man interrupts us by walking up to us and start to decorate a dish with chocolate sauce. He asks her if the dessert looks good and she answers it's exactly how she pictures.

Everything happens so fast when he kisses her lips and I can't seem to have a reaction. Nothing comes out of it. Literally. Nothing.

Something slams into my chest and knocks the wind out of my lungs before I'm even able to blink. My heart is hammering inside my chest and I can't stop looking at both of them.

She pulls away for a moment and looks at me. I can't exactly tell if she's bothered or not, because my mouth is fucking sewn shut to say anything.

And there's nothing.

Only breath slightly speeding.

Only staring nonstop at both of them.

Only ears ringing so fucking loud I can't even think.

God, make that ringing go away.

Moment pass and she looks worried.

My body starts listening to my commands slowly ad I just gulp down all of the despair that's starting to grow inside and manage to open my eyes wide.

"Y-You two are together?" I finally manage to ask her.

She faces the floor for an instant and goes back to look at me.

"Yeah, we have been for a couple of months," She tells me. I look up to the man and recognize him.

He has light brown hair and green eyes. It's Caleb from Nana's house. What the hell is he doing here with her?

"Hey, you're Tyler, Milan's cousin, right?" He smiles and taps my back.

Even with the state of shock I'm in, I am able to nod.

"Great to see you, man. Stephanie was telling me about how you were going to be here," He tells me and I force a smile.

I give the excuse I need to go because I can't bear to stay here one more second. I turn away and start walking. I can hear her tanking him, grabbing the plate and walking after me.

I try to fasten my step, but she eventually catches up. I don't want her to think I was bothered even though I'm so indescribably pissed at her.

"Tyler, is something wrong?" She asks me.

I stop walking but I don't have the courage to turn back and face her. So she does.

"Look at your phone," I tell her. She looks at me in questioning and I just repeat it.

She unlocks her phone and the first thing she sees in the notifications is the unread text from me. She clicks on it and sees what it's written.

She stares at her phone in pure disbelief and gapes when she faces up to look at me.

Her eyes are somewhat glossy, but I look away instantly. She tries to say something, but the words won't leave her mouth.

After some instants, she finally asks: "D-Do you really m-mean this?" She asks.

"You always knew that was true. You always did." I answer her.

She faces the floor and shakes her head in negativity. "I-I didn't. I didn't." She says. "I thought you had gotten over that." She says more to herself than to me.

"Dammit, Stephanie. Can't you see it? I will fucking never get over you." I raise my tone.

She closes her eyes for some seconds and opens them back up.

"It seemed like you had throughout all these years," She interjects.

I state at her in awe. "I thought I was getting somewhere throughout this last week. I thought I had a small damn chance." I whisper.

She looks back at me and bites her lower lip. "I thought you knew. Caleb said he met you and I thought he told you."

I run my hand through my hair. This can't be happening.

"We keep not working out every time," I breath out. "There are thousands of other people living in this town. Living in the same time, in the same place. Maybe some draft messages was all we were meant to be." I tell her.

I know she feels like crying because I know her. But she just hugs me and I hug her back.

This hug is the closest thing I have to a home and now this home isn't mine. It never was to begin with.

"There will be a part of me who will always love you," She whispers.

I feel a small tear stroking through my cheek but I quickly wipe it.

"But I really like Caleb. And I'm with him." She tells me and I sigh.

I don't give her the chance to say anything else. I know what she's gonna say, but I prefer not to hear it.

I kiss her in the forehead, whisper I love her and walk away. She doesn't call me nor walks after me.

And I wonder if a guy like me who is simply made of clay can truly have a girl composed of stardust.

Apparently not.

-
Dedicated to thesaltysticks for the special comment which turned out to be a book excerpt. Thank you💜

So guys, I'm so sorry for the late chapters. I know this chapter sucked, but I hope you guys like it at least a little bit. 💜

Love,

Jas, xx.

Final updates ahead. 💜