So when i was down it was because i blamed myself for things out of my control.

Ive friends leaving and that hurts a lot .I would blame myself for not spending enough time or that i wasnt there for them and was being selfish.

Truth is i have a life ,i just wasnt balancing my life and friends.i do know now and i feel better.Ive also know i cant control someone leaving my life i can only make memories w them and be happy i had them in my life at one point.

Another thing is that i didnt have the self loved for myself.Thats what ruined it all for me.only i can make me happy,sad or angry.The same applies to you.

Dont depend on people for happiness or a full fill life .I am feeling like im trapped.Nothing is happening-nothing good.I have recently realized i cant expect good things to come easily.its not like someomes gonna feed you it,you have to make a good change.only thing that comes naturaly are the bad things we dont want.which we have to be strong and whatever we go through it depends on us.

I dont know my future but ik i want something more in life.I want something to change and nothing will unless i try and do that change.I don't wanna wait until im 18 when i go to college or move out the house i want it now and i am gonna make it happen.Thats a promise ill make myself.

If you feel lost or have any feelings about sadness tell me about your problems and ill help.Ill try for you because no one was there for me when i needed it;i had to figure it all out myself.

Until my next update,to whoever reads this i hope i inspired or helped one person,bc thats a change i can say i did.