15. THE PLEASURE ACCORDING TO SYBIL VAIN

A sea lies underneath my ribs:

it's growing stronger now (...)

And it spreads like particles of light, like particles of light

You'll see me shimmering like crystals in the stars

(My Heart Is A Storm, Aurora)

Sybil stepped in between them. They didn't notice when he came back, so he took the chance to sneak a peek at the scene, but he'd decided to intervene before the situation could deteriorate any further. He stopped Set's hand before it reached Maria and guided it to his own shoulder.

The boy let him. Even if his eyes were looking into a different world, he tilted his head to the side, surprise showing on his face.

Sybil glanced back at Maria and gave her a reassuring smile. Sheltered by the Oracle's body, she was still shivering. Her eyes showed concern for Set, rather than fear for her own sake.

"It's alright," Sybil whispered.

She nodded and stepped back. As she dropped to the floor, her back leaning against the white wall, Sybil's eyes trailed back to Set's. Slowly, he brought his hands to the boy's shoulders.

Taking in somebody's energy meant experiencing all the blockages and sufferings of that person, but there was no other way to soothe the boy and restore his balance. Unsettling, dark energy seeped through Sybil's palms and filled his body. It ran down his joints, mixing with his Chi. It stuck in his chest, making it hard to breathe. It flooded his stomach and clamped onto it like a vice. Lastly, the flow slammed against his spinal cord, causing him a dull pain in the lower back.

Set's feelings and emotions became Sybil's and almost overwhelmed him. Somehow, the Oracle managed to keep his detachment and just look inward. He let them swipe his heart and affect his body, while all of Set's fears and memories pooled in his mind. Sybil watched within until he sank deep into his own consciousness, reaching the bottom of the abyss, the holy darkness where even demons dissolved and only silence remained.

Set's arms fell down by his sides. Once the energy was released, the urge for violence subsided. Yet, the boy's eyes were still lost somewhere and his body was trembling.

With an extremely slow movement, Sybil hugged him. His hands slipped over the boy's bare skin, traveling along his back. The right one rested at the height of Set's heart and the left one at the bottom of his spine. The heat of Set's body seeped through the cotton of Sybil's white robe. The sound of the boy's fast breathing filled the Oracle's ears. Set's heartbeat thundered under Sybil's palms.

The Oracle rested his chin over the boy's shoulder and slowly closed his eyes as his whole being became one with Set's.

Meanwhile, the energy flow kept running down Sybil's legs, a cascade of shiverings, shaking them all along until it reached his feet, and got out of his system where his soles met the cold floor. Little by little, the energy simmered down and Sybil's heart became lighter. The painful contractions in his chest and lower back dissolved, turning into a bubble of warmth. The pleasant sensation expanded from within, filling his body with space and light.

Sybil called that final state of grace – of pure, tantric meditation – the Opening. He could sense his own breath as it moved through his body. He could follow the air all along its circular path – from the moment it entered his nostrils to the moment it reached the farthest and smallest parts of his body. In some points, the air would be stuck facing some obstacle, but the breathing seeped through Sybil's every cell and slowly released each tension.

Sybil kept looking inward until all the energy clusters opened up. At that point, the air circle ran undisturbed, bringing to his mouth a liberating and peaceful moan.

When the same sound came out of Set's mouth, Sybil knew that the job was done. The boy had rebalanced and his mind was finally at peace.

Sybil opened his eyes and slightly pulled back to give him a loving smile. Set stared back at him with the same eager amazement of a child looking at Santa Claus coming down the chimney.

"You are...the closest thing to God I've ever met," he whispered, his eyes brightened with a new light.

"I am neither more nor less than you are. We are all emanations of the divine light, manifesting through the kaleidoscope of existence," Sybil corrected him.

"Whatever we are, nobody has ever done what you did," Set countered.

"If that's your way of telling me that I got into your heart, the feeling is mutual," Sybil replied sincerely.

Set pulled away and took a step back. "Hey man, don't make it into a love confession now," he spat, snapping back to his usual self.

Sybil walked past him and glanced out of the balcony's open doors. "Set, your conditioned mind prevents you from recognizing the truth and limits your possibilities to experience the beauty in all things surrounding you. It's not that way for me, not anymore. I have no reason to deny the obvious," he explained calmly.

For Sybil Vain, the Opening transcended sex and made it non-essential. It was the disappearing of all personal physical boundaries and the contemplation of Unity, Love, and Grace. In other words, the Opening led to the silence of the mind and to the ultimate realization of the divine.

In fact, that was the ideal state of bliss and connection that every human being tried to reach through the sexual act.

After years of meditative practice, it became easy for Sybil to experience it, whether by tasting some food, taking a shower or relaxing on a comfortable bed, even by cuddling the cat or sensing the contact between the soles of his feet and the ground. However, during an interaction with another human being, more intricate patterns came into play. Conditioning, emotions, and judgments made it much more rare to happen.

It was amazing how easily he managed to open himself up to Set and in such a natural way.

Sybil would've loved to take his time and observe the countless shades of his attraction towards the boy. However, given Set's reaction, it was clear that it wasn't the right time to force the matter, so he backed off and turned to Maria.

She was still sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, her gaze directed at him. With her curls and big eyes, she looked like a doll in that light-blue dress. She had worn pastel colors since the day Sybil pointed out that he couldn't stand black in the morning, and offered to sponsor her new working-wardrobe.

"This color suits you very well, Mimi," he complimented as he walked back to her.

He stretched out his hand to help her up. As she complied, he let go of her and gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

She turned beet-red. Her eyes were one shade darker and wet, her lower lip trembling. Her face reminded Sybil of those women from South American soap operas when they are found by their husband with another man.

"I believe Set likes your pretty dress too," he teased, a mischievous smile curving his lips. "But, as much as I appreciate some good erotica, I'd like you to provide him with underwear. Just for your sake, sweetheart," he added, moving his hand to lightly pat her head.

That said, he fished a hundred dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to her. She grabbed it stiffly and, keeping her eyes glued to the ground, she nodded.

"Now, if you please, could you serve us breakfast on the terrace?" he asked softly.

Maria nodded again and took her chance of running to hide in the kitchen. Chuckling at his own humor, Sybil walked over to the PC. For a change of atmosphere, he switched on the wireless speaker and started a song he found highly appropriate and extended his chuckle. Swirling back on his feet, he then met Set's gaze. The boy was still frozen in the middle of the living room. Clearly, his mind was back at full speed, brooding over what had happened.

"We have an appointment at 8:30 with the Waldorf Astoria's Spa," Sybil informed him and glanced at the big retro clock hanging on the wall. "Walking, it should take about fifteen minutes, hence we only have half an hour to have breakfast and get ready. Do you think you can pull it off?" he asked as his gaze lingered over the boy's naked body, knowing that a bit of teasing would provoke a response.

Set jumped like a spring. He grabbed the clothes from the ground and shoved them on as fast as he could. Then, with huge strides, he walked off to the terrace.

As calm as ever, Sybil followed and sat beside him at the outdoor table. The bright morning air was crisp and clean. The sky was clear, the vivid green of the plants surrounding them being in pleasant contrast with the grey buildings in sight. Glass and metal reflected the light in shimmering sparkles. The Oracle took a deep breath and enjoyed the view and the soft music.

"Why do you want me to tag along?" the boy asked.

"Why not?" Sybil said, not batting an eyelash.

In fact, he wanted to fix Set up. His haggard, malnourished condition didn't match what the Oracle had foreseen in his dreams, so Sybil felt compelled to take action. Since his presence changed the natural flow of things, he was almost forced to do it. Before somebody else could. Furthermore, he needed some decent headshots of the boy to get him a fake I.D. immediately available in case of need.

"I can't let anybody touch me," Set stated, his voice falling and almost breaking.

"After seeing how you react when dealing with others, I understand your reservations, but you don't need to worry as long as you are with me," Sybil replied gently, his voice soothing like the sound of running water in a mountain's stream. "I booked for a couple's treatment – manicure, pedicure, massage, and hairdresser. Also, I've got you an appointment with a dentist in the afternoon, as I believe you need that, too." He took a deep breath and turned his head to look at the boy. "All I ask is to get some photos of you at the end of the day, and I'm willing to hold your hand all along if it's necessary to get you through it."

Set shifted on the chair, his eyes darkened. Not to impose on him, the Oracle brought his attention back to the sky.

"Are you some sort of pervert?" the boy asked sharply.

With his eyes still up at the sky, Sybil snorted, trying to suppress a chuckle. "Do I look like one?" he teased.

"You do."

Sybil glanced back at him. "Why don't you tell me exactly what's your problem instead? So that we can try and find a way to solve it," he asked in a lower tone.

In that precise moment, Maria reached the terrace, carrying a tray with the breakfast. While Sybil turned his head to her, Set looked away immediately and put on a long face. With shaky hands, the girl arranged the table. She placed a small plate with three whole-wheat, honey croissants in the center, a six-people Italian coffee-maker along with a pot of fresh almond milk right beside it and the coconut flower sugar Sybil was into lately. Lastly, she laid a white porcelain cup in front of each of them. Sybil took notice of her shaking, understood that the previous conversation was better off being postponed, and gently placed his hand on her back, making her jump in surprise.

"Mimi, darling, would you mind?" he asked softly, lifting a lock of his white hair in the other hand.

She knew very well what his gesture meant, a shy smile curved her lips and she promptly walked back in. Set shoved a croissant in his mouth and Sybil took just a sip of his black coffee before she was back. Small fingers trembling, she gathered all the long, ivory strands on the Oracle's back and started combing them with a caring and gentle touch. Sybil's mouth let out his unique satisfied moan and, by the time she finished arranging them in a loose braid, the tension had vanished.

Sybil was aware of his influence on her and he knew how to play his charm, so he didn't really hesitate to use it. He tilted his head back to send her a flying kiss, followed by a dazzling smile.

Maria flinched and then brought her arms mid-air as if she wanted to wrap them around his neck but, as soon as she met his eyes again, she pulled back. She blushed hard and ran away.

She was straightforward and honest – to the point of annoyance sometimes – and she held a grudge toward the world for snatching her mother away in a terrible way, but a few words or a kind gesture from Sybil could completely turn around her mood. Although he'd never revealed much about himself, she held a blind faith in him. Many times, she'd told him that she couldn't understand him and that their differences of views and behaviors made her insecure, but she would've done anything he asked her to.

Sybil had grown fond of her over time. He had fun teasing her by asking things that crossed the line of a professional relationship, but he never stepped into the intimacy she obviously wished for. He managed to be seductive in a harmless, playful way because he didn't want her to get too involved with him.

When the Oracle finished drinking his coffee, he gracefully placed the cup back on its plate and gazed at his guest. Even though they were alone, Set's eyes moved back and forth from the table to the door as if he was ready to follow in the girl's steps and jump to the closest escape route.

"Take it easy about Maria. These things happen. Nobody is going to be mad at you," Sybil noted amusedly.

"These things happen?" the boy repeated in disbelief.

"Well, not that it ever happened in this house, but a sexy housemaid and a naked stranger would make the perfect pairing in a romance novel, or at least in erotica," he explained, strengthening the concept with a graceful movement of his pale hand.

"But this is not a book and, especially, not a porno," Set corrected him with an icy glare.

Sybil tilted his head to the side, studying the boy's eyes. Set expected to be treated like the big, bad wolf. Maybe he believed he deserved punishment because he was used to it. The Oracle smiled.

"But, what if this is just a book?" he asked with a mischievous smile.

"You sure have some screws loose," Set said while running his hands over his face.

"Maybe, or maybe I'm the only character of this story who knows the truth." Sybil gracefully shrugged it off. He played with the gold ring on his ring finger, turning it around a couple of times. Then he bent over the table, staring intently into the boy's eyes. "Set, do you think there is a fixed set of invisible rules? Do you believe in the concept of right and wrong?"

"I believe in what I see," his guest replied dryly.

"Even Newton when he discovered gravity believed in what he saw, yet there is an infinite number of invisible things and, among those, countless are the things not subjected to gravity." A soft smile hung on the Oracle's lips.

Set slapped his hands on the table and bent over too, glaring back at him. "And what does this have to do with me almost raping your housekeeper?" he replied.

Sybil took a deep breath as he was about to step into a boring lecture, bound to explain something that was utterly obvious to him. "It's not possible to set the parameters required to make a judgment concerning people's actions – thus including yours – since their actual existence, in itself, can't be claimed." For a moment, his gaze trailed back to the ring. He spread his fingers and lazily swung his hand just to enjoy the glimmers of the gold hit by the morning light. "In addition, each and every phenomenon is part of the cosmic dance, which doesn't have wishful thinking whatsoever and it's not bound to show consistency."

"What the fuck." The boy stroked his temples as he narrowed his eyes. "If you keep on with this kind of talk you'll give me a fucking headache," he cried out, snatching back the Oracle's attention. "What's your point? That everything is justifiable?" he asked, tousling his hairs and then pulling them back with both hands.

"Forgivable, not justifiable," Sybil corrected him. "Now, suppose you are about to kill a man who is precisely destined to die by your hand." He shifted his weight on the chair and rested his elbows over the table, locking eyes with Set again. "If you do it, you'd just play your part as a cog of the cosmic machine. So, even though you'd become a murderer, you'd still be forgivable. However, that doesn't mean that you'd be spared the consequences of assuming that particular role. So, even by being aligned with the cosmic plan, we can say that you wouldn't be justifiable." He lifted his right hand and mimicked a gun shooting at the boy's heart.

It was quite an artful way to let him know that, after all, Sybil Vain wasn't bound to show consistency either and that was a fairly dangerous possibility. However, Set slightly cocked his head to the side and gave him the same look of a dog watching the TV.

As a smile curved his lips, Sybil pulled back. "It means that, even if from a divine perspective there's no judgment, your behavior will lead to some reactions." His eyes narrowed slightly. "For example, another man might kill you."

Set's eyes widened and his face lit up as he punched his palm. "That's why I can't fuck your maid," he agreed with enthusiasm.

"Why?" asked Sybil, surprised that the boy's mind was still at the starting point of their conversation.

"Because even if you don't care, Vito would smash me to bits."

Sybil suppressed another chuckle, bringing his hand up to his mouth. The boy was so delightfully thick. To the point he couldn't be considered dangerous. In a certain way, Set resembled Sybil like no other and yet they were polar opposites. No wonder the boy was so attractive.

"Wonderful," the Oracle said, clasping his hands. "It means you'll have more time for me." He stood up and walked toward the living room. "So, shall we go have some fun together, Mister Voland?" he chirped before he twirled around.

"You're scaring me, Mister Vain," Set shot back as he stood, ready to follow.

Even though the boy acted rudely, he'd given in to Sybil's request unbelievably fast. His aggressive behavior was obviously a defense mechanism, while his real approach to things bore such naivety that Sybil would have loved to be back at seeing the world with eyes like his.

The experience with the Spa confirmed his feeling and grew his sympathy towards the boy. Paralyzed by the presence of others, Set accepted to be led and supported, never rebelling to it. In fact, as time went by, the boy's eyes filled with gratitude and admiration.

When the Oracle thanked the dentist for allowing him to be by Set's side, his hand still held the boy's. That was a rarity even for him, to hold hands with somebody, especially for such a long time, but it was surprisingly pleasant.

They walked out of the doctor's office in the late noon. Sybil expected for Set's patience to be at its limit and that the boy would finally get rid of his hand, but he didn't. Set kept silent, eyes down, and allowed the Oracle to lead the way along the road that brought them back to the apartment.

After the treatments, the boy's appearance had changed dramatically. He looked younger, more fragile, and perfectly matched the image planted in Sybil's memory. The Oracle pushed the thought away.

"How do you feel?" he inquired cautiously.

"Good, and I still can't believe it's possible," the boy answered, his tone low and soft.

A smile curved Sybil's lips, but he kept his eyes steady in front of him. "I'm glad to hear it," he said simply.

"Why?" Set asked, heavy with doubts.

The question was an innocent one, but at the same time so hopeless that Sybil's heart tightened in his chest.

"I've already told you that I like you, right? It's only natural that I'd be glad if you are feeling good," he answered honestly.

Set stopped walking. His eyes darted around, his face anxious like the one of a courier transporting a bomb, scared that even the smallest movement might make it explode. His hand flinched as if he wanted to withdraw it, but he didn't. "So, you like men?"

His eyes on the crowded road, Sybil tightened his grip and intertwined their fingers. "I like you," he spoke confidently as he turned to face the boy.

Set stared at him, his lips parted slightly ready to speak words that never came. An unexpected heat began rising in Sybil's lower abdomen, dangerously expanding toward his root chakra. Set's sexual energy was too strong to be easily ignored. It could stir and wake something that had been dormant for a long time.

"I make no distinction between men and women. Not even between animate and inanimate objects." Sybil winked, consciously breaking the spell before he looked away. "I want to stop there and buy you some clothes. Do you think you can handle this a bit longer?" he added, lifting up their clasped hands to point at a shop nearby.

Set gasped in a breath, getting back to his senses. "As long as you keep me on a leash, I'm not going to bite anybody. So, it should be... Fine..." He bit his lip. "Don't you think you did enough for me already?"

"I'm just getting started," Sybil replied and enthusiastically pulled him to the shop.

The place sold a good variety of casual clothes, mainly teenager stuff that should've made Set comfortable. Sybil told the boy that he could try and buy anything. He then let go of Set's hand and sat on one of the sofas in front of the changing rooms. The clerk came by, but the Oracle immediately called for her and told her that his friend was an eccentric type and she shouldn't bother him. She looked a bit confused, but she walked back to the counter. From there, she kept an eye on them.

After a few minutes, Set came back from his round and gave Sybil a doubtful glance. He held in his hands a red t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"That's it?" Sybil teased. "You better get at the least three more changes, unless you want me to pick things out for you." He pointed at his white robe with a smirk.

The boy quickly turned around, trying to hide the smile that crossed his face. He roamed around the shop, skimming through the hangers. He didn't seem to bother much with the design, but he checked all the price tags. He piled up enough clothes before dashing into the changing room in front of Sybil's seat. The Oracle peeked at his back in the slice of space between the curtain and the wall. The boy quickly took off his clothes and slipped into the first pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Listen, you said you dreamed your death..." he whispered, barely audible over the swishing of the clothes.

He was near enough to be heard, still, the Oracle stood and walked to the changing room, standing in front of the opening. "Yes, I did," he replied quietly.

"Aren't you afraid of death?"

"No," Sybil answered without hesitation.

There was a moment of silence in which not only the swishing of the clothes but even Set's breathing stopped.

"Do you think there's a hell?" Set asked in a whisper.

"Not in my world." Sybil's voice grew sweeter as if cuddling the boy.

With a sudden clang of metal rings, the curtain was pushed aside and Set's wide eyes locked with his again. Something had changed in them. The sharpness they held just a day before was gone and what was left was pure wonder. Sybil took a deep breath and shifted his attention to the clothes. The red t-shirt bore a very appropriate quote – Heaven Knows We Belong Way Down Below – that stood over a black cross terminating in an arrow pointing down, then there was the name of some rock band. Set looked like a troublesome teenager in the middle of his rebellious time.

"I can't exactly say it's my thing, but it looks good on you," Sybil commented, changing the subject.

Set waved his hand, pulling the Oracle's glance back to his eyes. "What do you mean by hell doesn't exist in your world?" the boy asked seriously.

Sybil took another deep breath and one step back.

"Set, hell is your creation," he said in a clear voice. "Everything that happens to you, everything you see and you believe in, they are all projections. As I've told you already, Existence has no will of its own. Judgments, prizes and punishments are a creation of the mind and the moment you choose to recognize the truth they will disappear completely." The words rolled slowly off his tongue before he smiled. "Then, you'll see that this is the best of the worlds possible."

"Are you saying that evil does not exist? That I see it just 'cause I made it up?" the boy asked, furrowing his brows.

"Yes."

"So, God is also not existing?"

"God doesn't exist outside of ourselves," Sybil replied calmly.

The boy stepped forward, closing in the gap between them. "Why make up all that shit?" he snapped, frustration burning in his eyes.

His eyes half-closed, Sybil took a deep breath. "Because real freedom is scary and generates disorder if it's not sustained by awareness of the Truth." He joined his hands in the Indian salutation, before speaking again. "Just imagine that your God, to create the world, needed to get through a self-separation. He then manifested Himself in fragments of His original being, which are so small and incomplete that they forgot their own nature." He gestured at both of them, his index finger lightly tapping Set's chest. "Each of His fragments is identical in the substance and holds the creative potential of the whole, but since it forgot the truth it can't recognize God's power as its own and mistakes it for something beyond its reach."

Set rolled his eyes.

Sybil's hand moved up and caught the collar of the boy's shirt. Pulling on the fabric got them even closer and brought the boy's gaze back too. For a moment, they stared at each other in silence. Set held his breath, his eyes equally filled with fear and awe.

"What if you are God, but since you are not aware of it, you become the victim of your own power?" Sybil asked as he let go of him.

The boy inhaled sharply, and after a moment of hesitation, he shook his head. "I understand now what you were doing in that hospital," he said ironically.

________________________

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Woah, editing took long enough, but I hope my writing did improve a little though.

@DarlingCupcakes sorry for the long wait darling, I hope you'll enjoy this at least! XD

My lovely beta, @Sarah_MacLean is winning over the dedication for this chapter after she made up the definition "creepy and sweet" to define Sybil's and Set's relation. 

I love it, it's perfect and I'm still laughing.

Since she's a wonderful beta, I feel like my writing is improving too and thanks to her speed, you, my readers, can rest assure I will edit and publish regularly :)

So, let's thank her all together!!! 

She doesn't need ads, but her book Rose Killer is awesome, I love Ely (Elyra, her main character) so much!!! She's a wonderful dark heroine! XD

And I leave you with Matt Clavane, just because he's so nice and so fit to impersonate Set XD

Lots of Love to you all!