"Fucker! Knock your shit off!"

"Hookers gotta die"

"I'm running over hoes"

"Sorry, I'm a bad driver"

"I've never gotten 2 stars"

"Shiiit... Still good, all good"

"I'll hit the hooker in reverse"

"Come on fucker, dammit! Let's try this again"

"I lost my 2 stars ;-;"

"All around me are familiar faces"

"Aw, damn I drowned"

"Fuck out"

"Shit, went the wrong way"

"Look, I'm gonna get all these guys. With an ambulance"

"That lady turned around like 'What, there's an ambulance coming for me'"

"I'm coming people! I'm coming to your bridge! Oh, I freaked someone out"

"Get out of the way you dick"

"What the hale is this?"

"Don't shoot at me, it's not nice"

"I NEED A CAR, I NEED A CAR, SHOPPING CART"

(At this point my uncle started playing the game, we take turns passing the controller around)

"HE'S RUNNING PEOPLE OVER LISTENING TO BETHOVEN OR SOME SHIT"

"The music makes it even better"

"Is that a crotchrocket? No, it's a mo-ped"

"Is that a motorcycle? No, it's a mo-ped. Oh wait it is a motorcycle!"