"Burn the wh*res" (I let her listen to Murderer by Avatar)

"WE GOTTA BURN THE WH*RES!!!" (she drove around the parking lot of a store, screaming that out the window. An elderly couple heard us and looked at mom horrified)

"He was driving erotically!" (she meant erratically)

"I was gonna be a bitch, then I decided to be nice" *5 seconds later* "I should've been a bitch to him" (she wanted to cut off the principal in the parking lot of the school, but she didn't. Then she regreted it once she found out it was the principal)

"Kyson's binkey straight up Houdinid" (Kyson is my 8 month old brother