I have so many great friends yet I've never felt so alone. I know it sounds cliche but its true. I want to talk to someone about how I'm feeling but 

1) I don't fully know how I'm feeling myself and

2) everyone else's problems are way bigger than mine.

I've never been bullied, don't have issues with family and I've never had anything particularly traumatising happen to me. However, despite this, I just feel really sad and 'depressed' sometimes for no reason. I don't think I can be classed as having depression because there are many times when I can be happy as well.

I feel like I'm not a good friend most of the time. I spent most of my summer holidays not talking to my friends and I honestly hate myself for that. I didn't ignore them on purpose though I just couldn't mentally bring myself to do it. I didn't know what to say and I'm bad at keeping conversations going in text and real life. I did see them all so that's better than nothing right (even though it was only once)?

My best friend recently got a boyfriend and I couldn't be happier for them. I actually tried to help them get together as they are both close friends of mine. However, this leaves me being the third wheel all the time. I have no problem with them being together and talking to each other but I feel like I'm intruding their time together. They don't have any lessons together so they spend all break and lunch talking to each other. Again I'm ok with this but I feel excluded from the conversation. I just make everything awkward being there. I try my best to let them be together, just the two of them but at lunch, the rest of our group of friends go to a club that I don't participate in so I'm left alone with those two. Sometimes I'll go find my other friends but if I'm with them I don't really have their same sense of humour so I don't understand their jokes and I make everything awkward. no matter where I am I make everything awkward. I just feel so out of place with all of my friends. I feel like I've drifted away from my best friend. Like we don't talk as much anymore. That might just be what I think but whatever.

 Who cares anyway?

I doubt anyone is even reading this.

If you are then Hi! Don't worry about me I'm just overreacting and being stupid.

Ok bye!