Ok well you read the title I'm sad. And I don't like it cause I had an awesome day at supernova but I'm sitting at home crying over nothing and I hate it. I've also got school tomorrow so that also sucks cause school is a hell hole. And I hate it when I say that cause I'm taking something so for granted flipping education when there are people who don't even get a chance to go to school and I'm here getting a good education and saying it sucks.

But you know sometimes I just want to disappear you know but only for a few days and then come back with a fresh slate. Gosh how I wish I could start again and not have all this sadness and depressive stuff happen, but honestly if I do get a fresh start it will probably go the same way like it's inevitable. Have you ever like been so down that it's just and effort to speak and try and get out of bed like the whole world put it's problems on your shoulders and told you to walk up the stairs. Cause that's what it feels like. This sucks I hardly smile anymore, I rarely think anything is a good time, always looking at the bad things, say self deprecating things and I always have that voice in the back of my head nagging me to do things I promised I wouldn't do anymore. Music. Drama. Art. Reading. Are the only things that bring my joy now days and honestly it's pretty pathetic and I hate that I can hardly have any joy with other things. And it's sucks cause if I'm not listening to music to drown out my thoughts I get anxious and very sad and mostly stuck in my thoughts that swirl around my head all day. Urgh it's like I can't live without my phone to play music on or read on. Well I'm not sure what else to say I'm gunna post something more but I'm going to try and get some sleep.

V out.