August 3, 9:50 am.

I'm feeling a nauseous sense of déjà vu right now. School is gonna start in some few days and the last thing I wanna do is go there. I don't wanna see the same faces again craving for attention. And most of all, I don't wanna see you and Sophie. I need time to think about everything. So I just used the excuse that most of the girls have used in days like this one.

Cramps.

It's cliché, I know. But I just don't wanna get out of bed and I'm sure as hell that I don't wanna go downstairs and face everyone. Bella and Maggie are leaving to college tomorrow and  I'll go also to take them. I feel like old times are coming back.

And I don't want them to come back. I want to hold onto something, I just don't know what that something is. I mean, once more you had the capacity to turn my life to the opposite. I'm letting you do that. The worst part is that I know that I'm giving you power over me, but I don't know what to do to stop it.

Perhaps it's time I pick myself up again. This time for real. It won't be simple. I heard someone tell me once that a heartbreak never leaves you. It stays with you, but you can learn how to use it in your advantage. So I have to learn to let you go. Let the feelings go and letting the pain go.

I might not get over you completely, but at least I'll get over the person I thought you were.