Text #185.

June 29, 8:30 pm.

I'm still really shocked with what happened today. Cameron came early in the morning to pick me up and spend the day at his family's house. I got dressed and in some minutes, his car was already honking in the street. We got there listening to She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5. His dad was busy recollecting some old recipes from him family. Little Turd was running through the patium pestering Mr. Giovanni for a cat.

"Dad, can I get a kitty? Pleeeease?" He begged, trying his best to make a puppy face.

"No, son. I told you more than a thousand times that your mother is allergic to cats." Mr. Giovanni answered, impatient.

"So when mommy dies can we get one?" Little Turd asked, opening a smile that went from ear to ear.

Mr. Giovanni just went back to looking at his papers. What a great sense of sensibility Little Turd has.

Cameron flicked his brother on the forehead and grabbed my hand to lead me upstairs. He walked towards his room. I had never been there before. He opened the door and there were several guitars placed on the corner of the room. Some drawings and pictures were glued to the wall. I slowly paced around the room, my eyes focusing on every single thing at once. There was a large king sized bed placed on the middle of the room, with a large flat TV on the wall. My eyes traveled to a drawing of a girl in the wall. It took me some long seconds to realize that the girl was me. It was the same drawing he had given me, but it looked more professional. I grabbed it from the wall and took a closer look at it. I felt Cameron turning from the other side of the room to where I was.

"Oh, t-that's just n-nothing..." Cameron stammered, quickly walking closer to me.

He tried to take the drawing out of my hands, but I didn't let him.

"This is..." I muttered, biting my lip.

"I know, it's horrible... I just... had nothing to do and I drew that..." He said, scratching the back of his neck.

"It's even better than the one you gave me," I smiled at him.

A small smile curled up his lips almost immediately.

"Really?" He asked, and I nodded in response. His hand slowly traveled to my cheek. He bit his lip and started learning closer as I leaned back. I wanted to start slow.

That was until we heard a knock at the door. He quickly shifted his hand off my cheek and moved uncomfortably beside me.

"Come in," Cameron said, looking bothered. His dad revealed himself at the door and smiled.

"Oh," he said, glancing our way. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"No, you didn't." Cameron said, his eyes clearly saying the opposite.

"Anyways, I just wanted to say that I'll go to the restaurant and I won't be home till late, okay?" he smiled warmly.

"Yeah, sure." Cameron told him.

Mr. Giovanni smiles and closed the door behind him.

"So, do you want to play the new Just Dance cd? It's upstairs and I bet I can totally beat you." He smirked triumphantly.

"Keep telling yourself that," I smirked back.

We walked out of the room and upstairs. He lead me to the family room and I sat down on the couch.

"Crap, I think I left cd in my mom's room." He told me and I nodded. "Wanna come with me and get it?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded at him.

We walked towards his parent's room and opened the door. It happened all at once. His mom was there. In the bed. With a guy that surely wasn't Mr. Giovanni. They were under the sheets and she was giggling like a fool.

Cameron dropped the cd on the floor. His face was as if he had just seen a ghost. He was pale, and his mouth was agape.

"M-Mom?" he asked.

His mother's face turned to face him and in some milliseconds, she looked just as shocked as him.

"C-Cameron?" She asked, quickly getting away from the man who appeared to be at his early thirties.

His face went blank for a moment. Then it turned furious.

"I-I thought you and your father were out," she said. "And who is that? Y-Your new girlfriend?" She asked.

"How could you?" Cameron croaked, his cheeks wet from the tears that slowly fell.

Before she could even answer, he stormed out the room and flew downstairs to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I ran after him, but when I tried opening the door, I realized it was locked. I begged him to open, but I could hear the sound of his silent sobs. I wrote him a small note and shoved it under the door. I grabbed my bag from the living room and left.
I want to be there for him like he was there for me.

---
Guyssss,
I am SO sorry! I am REALLY late at updating and I'm really sorry about that. My sisters just left and I have been feeling really down and not with the inspiration to write. But now I'm back. I'm so sorry for the time you had to wait. I hope you can understand.

Thank you so much for all the support and the love,

What do you think if I started a YouTube channel about books in general? Tell me your opinion :)

Love,
Jas. 

Text #186.

June 30, 7:36 am.

I know that I should have stayed. I know that I should have went there and help Cameron, but I think I found a better way to be there for him. I just texted him saying to come to my place. I have his favorite ice caramel macciato from Starbucks. He absolutely loves that and I just think that it'd be a good idea to do a little breakfast for him to take his mind from what happened yesterday. I asked him how he was through text and he said he was okay. I know he's lying. I can sense through his texting style.

"I'm okay." vs. "I'm okay :)".

I also made him some fried bacon, a toast, which is the only thing I don't burn and two green apples. I know it's little, but I'm trying, okay? If I ever be a mother, I guess my sons will have to be the one to cook for me and not the other way around.

I know that it was stupid to ask how he was. I know he isn't fine. That's a big mistake all of us, human beings tend to do. I really hope everything goes fine. I really want to make it up to Cam. :)

Oh, and plus, at least he doesn't make me rot in my room all alone like you do.

Text #187.

July 1, 7:49 pm.

I guess he has been right all this time. I'm just still way too vulnerable and scared to tell Cameron anything yet. So, Cameron appeared yesterday at eight sharp. I could see his eyes were red and swollen, he had huge bags under his eyes and I asked myself if he had actually slept a little through the night. He just walked to me, with a blank expression on his face.

"Cam, I-I..." I started saying, but I was cut off surprisingly by him.

"Don't say anything, Steph. Just hug me." He told me and that's what I did. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He was higher than me, which made him able to bury his face in my neck.

"I-I can't believe she did that," He mumbled softly. "To me, to my dad. To our family." He whispered, his voice hoarse.

"It's her loss, Cam. You are definitely not worth losing." I whispered back.

"Really?" He asked.

"Of course," I gulped.

"I'm sorry to be in this state, it's just that..." He mumbled, gripping me tighter in his arms.

Gosh, I didn't know anything, you know? I had never given or received comfort had been a long time, and I didn't know what to do. If there was a Guide Of Comfort for Dummies I'm sure I'd have pulled it off, because I guess that we act based on our experiences.

After some minutes, he finally let me go and saw the table in the backyard all set.

"Oh," he finally said. "There are visitors here? Oh, crap, I'd better go then." he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"No, dummy." I laughed at his reaction. "It's for you. I thought that maybe you haven't eaten since you know what and I decided to make you something." I smiled shyly.

"Gosh, you're everything I want and everything I need at the same time." He whispered under his breath.

I heard him, but I just pretended I didn't. That meant or that means that Cameron may like me. I'm not that oblivious, I know a sign when I see it.

We sat down on the small table and he took a bite out of his toast.

"Gosh, Stephanie. You really do know how to cook," A small smile crossed his lips.

"Of course, did you expect any less?" I bragged, faking a proud smile.

He let out a laugh. It was nice to hear him laugh.

After of taking a large sip out of his Starbucks, he sat in silence.

"Cam," I started. "I know that talking about that is probably the least thing you want right now, and I respect that, okay? I just wanted to tell you that." I said, licking my lips.

"No, it's okay. I guess I need to vent it out really." He whispered, running his hands through his light brown hair.

"This," he started, pointing to his eyes. "Is from my mom. I don't know if you noticed it, but she has it too. She always used to tell me that this would be an everlasting symbol that she would love me. She promised me she'd always be there for me. I guess no one is bound to keep a promise forever. But when I saw her on that bed, with my dad's employee, I cracked, you know? I knew that she cheated one time, but I didn't think that she would continue doing it. Dammit, she is such a liar. Imagine if it wasn't me who saw that. Imagine if it were my little brother. Imagine the damage she would cause if my little brother saw a scene like that." He said, and I could see his eyes were getting blurry from the tears. "So I'm gonna tell my dad, I made up my mind already. He doesn't deserve going through all this shit she has been doing." He told me.

I nodded my head in agreement.

He stared at the floor and everything was quiet for some couple of minutes.

"What about you?" he asked, taking a sip out of his Starbucks.

"What do you mean?[a/n one of my favorite songs!!!]" I asked, raising an eyebrow up.

"What's your story? Why were you so down some weeks ago?" he asked.

"Uh, n-nothing..." I stammered and started playing with my bracelet.

"You're lying." He said.

"W-What?" I stammered once more.

"You stammer when you like and you start playing with your bracelet. Plus, you changed your head position quickly. Your breathing changed. You bit your lip and you're shifting your feet back and forth." he said and I blinked twice.

"Oh, my God." I gasped.

"You would be surprised how much I know," he smiled a little.

"No, really, it's nothing to worry about." I told him.

He just let out an angry sigh and ran his hands through his hair. "Really, you're actually gonna do this?" He questioned.

"Do what?" I raised an eyebrow up.

"Lie to me. I just told you the hell I'm living through and you still don't trust me enough to tell me what happened to you?" He asked.

My eyes widened. "It's not that, it's just that--" I was about to finish speaking when he cut me off.

"It's just nothing, Stephanie. Here I am, I did everything I could think of to try to make you like me or trust me. Every single thing. I saw you in school and I just could easily say that something was troubling you." He raised his voice. "But tell me, Stephanie. Who was it, huh? Who the hell did that to you? Who the hell fucked you up so badly that you completely shut down anyone who tries to help you? I always tell you everything of what's going on with me. But not you. You always shut me out. You don't trust anyone and you never open up to anyone. You're scared to trust and to care, Stephanie. You shut down anyone who could ever possibly care about you. But who the hell did that to you?" He screamed, biting his lip for a second.

I faced the floor. My eyes were glossy and fast enough, a tear ran down my cheek.

"I-I can't--" I stammered but he interrupted me.

"Right, you can't tell me. Of course. And here I was thinking that there stood a slight chance that you would actually like me." he whispered and walked away. I just hope this isn't permanent. Because if it is, I'll never forgive myself.