Victor's pov

I silent stared at Yuuri who slept soundly in my arms, the rims of his eyes were swollen pink along with dark bags resting under them, his chest rose and fell with each soft breath he took. He had cried so much up to the point where he drained himself out and collapsed against my chest on the floor of the bathroom.

His cheeks were flushed pink and his breathing sounded a bit raspy, with a small frown I rested my hand against his cheek and sighed in relief when I found that he at least didn't have a fever. I was so happy to have him here in my arms again, though at first when he didn't respond at the door I literally had a heart attack so the next thing to do was to open the door by force which may have startled him.

When I first laid eyes on him it broke my heart to see how fragile he looked, and how much he shook with fear pained me. It hurt me so much to see him in so much pain and as he sobbed and soaked my shirt with his tears I was holding him tight as if he could keep my heart from shattering into pieces I held him as tight as I possibly could and rubbed his back. I did everything to make sure that he was no longer in pain, because we both shared our pain together.

Now here we both lay on his bed his hands are clutching onto my shirt grasping tightly onto it, even in his sleep he is still afraid. I sighed and moved a stray strand of hair away from his face. "Yuuri I'm so sorry I left you alone." I mumbled in a guilt stricken tone my throat was tight as tears built up in my eyes I swallowed thickly and took a breath. "I'm making promises I can't keep, and I'm so sorry for that." He twitched a bit and I wondered if he were having a bad dream.

I gave him a soft firm squeeze and he seemed to relax a little giving out a sigh, my lips twitched a smile ached to form but Yuuri's pain was nothing to smile about. I knew that Makkachin was very important to me he was also the reason I wanted to come back so quickly, but after realizing that Yuuri was also very attached with Makkachin something clicked in my brain yelling at me to go to him immediately. My heart was beating so fast I worried that I would get a heart attack and I was sweating so much and breathing heavily as if I had ran a marathon.

And then Yurio started to panic as well and honestly I blame myself for worrying him so much though he tried to hide it I could easily see it in his eyes, the fear and anxiety that filled his emerald green eyes were not easy to miss. He was petrified. Arriving here Yuuri's parents had to calm him down because just like Yuuri he had his weaknesses that cause panic attacks, I remembered too late though. A huge amount of guilt filled my heart as I remembered the times I yelled at him and got angry with him I didn't think about him or Yuuri at all.

I made stupid decisions that hurt the ones I love, and that made me hate myself even more. I knew I didn't deserve them because they were just too good for me and I was horrible to believe that I deserved their kindness after everything that happened. I didn't deserve that, I also don't deserve to even hold Yuuri in my arms like now, but i know he is suffering and that he is very hurt.

Yuuri began to tremble in his sleep his breathing suddenly quickened, his chest rose and fell quickly. I was quick to act and sat up, I shifted him in my arms and slightly shook his shoulders not wanting to hurt him. "Yuuri, wake up love." I pleaded anxiously, his hands were balled up into fists and it sounded like he was desperately in need for air. I stroked his hair back and leaned down pressing our foreheads together I closed my eyes and held him close to my chest. "Calm down love, I'm right here with you. You are safe I promise." A few tears squeezed out from his shut eyes.

I pulled back to face him his breathing calmed to the normal pace, still a bit shaky, but it was still better than it was before. He took a couple of shaky breaths as if he were underwater for hours and opened his eyes to meet mine. "V-Victor..." His beautiful eyes were glazed over with what only I could describe as pain. My heart shattered and my throat tightened it was getting hard to swallow.  "Yuuri." My lips trembled and tears filled my eyes threatening to spill over my cheeks. I cradled his face in my hands and leaned down so that our faces were mere inches apart. "I'm right here Yuuri." I reassured in a quiet voice.

He exhaled and instantly wrapped his arms around my neck pulling me closer to him, he was still shaking. I hugged him tightly and rubbed soothing circles into his back hoping to calm him down.  "Victor.." Yuuri whimpered. "Makkachin, I'm so sorry I couldn't take care of him. I'm sorry." I couldn't handle the pain anymore, his pain, I pressed him tight against my chest and held onto him as if dear life depended on it. "It's not your fault Yuuri, Makkachin is always getting into stuff that is not his." I said in an attempt to make him feel better.

I continued to rub his back waiting for him to calm down. "It's alright now Yuuri, everything is okay I promise." I tried everything I could to soothe him and to make him feel better I wanted to see his beautiful smile again, one that would reach his beautiful eyes and make them shine. And I want to hear his cute laugh while the most cutest blush fills his pale cheeks, I want Yuuri to be happy. I rested my hand against his cheek and faced him with a soft smile. "Yuuri, please let me see your smile." I lifted the corner of his lip in an attempt to make him smile.

He avoided my gaze and looked down at his hands. "Victor why aren't you upset at me?" He asked quietly. "Why would I be upset? None of this was your fault, it was an accident." I stated. "I love you Yuuri nothing will ever change that." I turned to face him again, tears rolled down his cheeks. "Oh Yuuri..." I pulled him into my arms and held him close. "Everything is okay I promise." I had already made so many promises to him, but it seemed like it was still not enough to convince him that everything was really okay.

I had already prepared myself for this type of occasion, but Yuuri hadn't, he lost his own dog without even saying goodbye, and that thought alone almost brought me to tears. I had to understand Yuuri's pain in order to get him to calm down, I stroked his hair and hummed a quiet tune swallowing the lump in my throat. I understood, I understood everything.

He leaned his head against my chest and dozed off. "Yuuri, I understand what you're going through." He flinched, "It's scary not knowing if it'll be the last time you'll ever see a pet, or better yet a best friend or family member." He stayed silent as I spoke listening to every word that flew off my lips. "I'm going to be right here with you, and we'll both face this together." I wiped away his tears and held his hand. "You promise?" He asked desperately, he was so vulnerable.

I nodded. "I promise." I whispered to him and allowed him to lean on me for comfort, he did nothing but lie against my chest controlling his uneven breathing and tried hard to stop himself from shaking. I helped him by rubbing his back and whispered sweet words to him, I was so happy when I saw him blush over a flirtatious comment I whispered huskily into his ear a shiver ran up his spine and before I knew it he was his regular self again. "V-Victor don't say s-such thing's like that!" He stammered.

My heart swelled with overwhelming happiness and a laughing escaped my lips. "I'm sorry Yuuri." I hugged him tightly taking a whiff of his clothes, his scent, he had taken a shower and used the cherry blossom shampoo, just like how I did. He missed me...

He hugged me back even tighter and buried his face in my chest. "I missed you so much Yuuri." I mumbled to him. "I missed you too Victor, you have no idea how close I was to breaking down again." I winced, he was very close. Memories of finding him in his bathroom huddled in the corner replayed in my mind, at that time I was so close to crying because I had thought that I was too late to save him, but holding him in my arms now has reminded me that I was just in time to save him.

I sighed in relief and and closed my eyes enjoying the warmth we both shared. "Victor where's Yurio?" He asked quietly. "With your parents, he's not doing so well. He was really worried about you." I explained, he grasped onto my shirt. "Is he okay?" He whimpered. "He's fine, Yurio is stronger than he looks." I chuckled, but in all honesty I didn't even know if that were true. Yurio has a habit of hiding how he truly feels at time, and that really worries me.

Yuuri stayed silent for a while before speaking. "I want to apologize to him and my parents, I must've scared them." He stated and sat up. "Well of course they're scared, you weren't responding nor did you get out your room! How can no one get scared at that?" My voice broke, and tears had unsuspectedly trailed down my cheeks, I flinched confused as to why I was suddenly crying. "Victor..." Yuuri smiled apologetically and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I'm sorry Victor I promise I will never ever do it again, I love you." He hugged me tight, I greatly returned the hug and buried my face in the crook of his neck taking a couple of breaths to calm myself down, when I was calm I pulled away from embrace and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay now Yuuri." He nodded and we both climbed off his bed heading out his room to meet with his parents who urged Yurio to eat at the living room.

Yuuri wasn't looking too good, he looked rather green. His pale skin was a sickening white and dark bags rested under his eyes, he didn't look this bad in his room, but there was barely any light in his room. He also looked thinner than before I left. "Have you eaten Yuuri?" I asked worriedly, he looked away at my question and shook his head. "N-no." He whispered reluctantly. "We will all eat together okay?" I lifted his chin to meet his eyes. "..okay." He responded.

I quickly pecked his lips and then entered the living room, Yuuri's mother faced us with a wide smile, tears welled up in her eyes as soon as she saw Yuuri. "Mom?" Yuuri was quickly at her side frantically asking if she were okay. "Oh Yuuri don't ever worry me like that again!" She exclaimed and hugged him tightly, Yuuri returned the hug. "I'm sorry mom I promise I won't worry you again." He reassured and pulled away from the embrace to face Yurio who averted his gaze.

Iet the two of them have their moment, Yurio had grown rather attached to Yuuri as if he were his mother he looked up to him for guidance.  "y-you're so stupid..." Yurio stammered and kept his gaze on the ground, his hands were balled up into tight trembling fists "I'm sorry Yuri." Yuuri apologized in a glum tone. "I know what I did was very stupid, and most of it possibly hurt you and the ones I love, but I promise I'll never do it again." After Yuuri spoke Yurio was quiet.

At first he seemed very hesitant, but then he hugged Yuuri. He grasped onto his shirt so tight and he trembled so much, it surprised me. It was the first time I had ever seen Yurio like this. Yuuri apologized many times to him and stroked his hair. "I'm sorry Yuri." His voice broke, Yuuri was also greatly attached to Yurio. Yurio buried his face in Yuuri's chest and stayed silent. "I'm so sorry."

I smiled at the sight, we would be okay. We would get through this.