chapter 1
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Unedited.
"You can never escape from my clutches."
.
.
I gasped out of breath as my eyes shot open and sweat started trickling down my forehead. I jolted up and slowly brought my shivering hands close to my ears with the hope to put a halt to that sinister voice.
After calming down myself a little, I gulped some water and again laid down on my bed in an attempt to get some sleep but I guess, today would also be another sleepless night for me.
Shaking my head, I stood up from my bed and went out of my room to my mom's room to seek some comfort.
But seeing her sleeping so peacefully, I didn't have the heart to bother her at this time. So closing her door slowly, I went to the small study in our medium-sized house and shut its door behind me.
Grabbing a chair, I placed it in front of a desk before settling myself on it. I stretched my hand to open a small latch of the downside corner drawer of that table and took a big album out of it.
Placing it on the table, I willed myself to open it as my eyes greeted with a sight of a happy couple. I softly ran my hand on those photos and my eyes welled up with the unshed tears.
Those were the photos of my parents from the early stages of their marriage to my mom's baby shower. They seemed to be so happy in every photo as their eyes were brimming with joy.
As I skimmed through them to the end, there were only photos of a woman and a small girl. Though that little girl was looking so happy in every pic, her mom's eyes had lost the glow as she appeared lifeless in each one of those pics.
Of course, I could understand her plight very well. Who would look happy when the person who was more important to her than her life was snatched brutally away from her but still she stayed strong just for my sake and tried her best to fill the void of my dad's place in my life.
Though it sounded somewhat selfish and cruel, no one could ever replace a place of a dad's position in anyone's life. The same was the case with me. Though she never let me feel his absence, I would always miss his presence at every point of my life.
Whenever I achieved something, I always wanted to share that news with him before anyone. Whenever I felt like giving up, I always wanted him to be beside me and wanted to assure me that everything was going to be fine. Whenever I would fall, I wanted him to be there to pick me up. Whenever this world would be cruel to me, I wanted him to protect me in his safe embrace.
Alas, all of them seemed to be faraway dreams for me. To be honest, I never experienced a father's love and I never knew how it was to have a father. I never knew how it felt to be protected and pampered by him.
In fact, I never got a chance to witness his ever-smiling face. He was gone...he was gone forever just like that before I could know what it was to have him in my life, leaving me and my mom alone in this cruel world.
For everyone, my life appears to be a fairytale but only I knew what a nightmare it was.
I have a caring grandpa and a loving mother but still, they both were not that powerful enough to protect me from the demons that were lurking around to devour me.
Once I almost resigned to my fate and I almost gave up on everything, unable to bear those nightmares and sufferings but something or precisely someone made me clung to that last string of hope, and his presence unknowingly helped me in not giving up on my life.
How absurd it might be sounding but he gave life to the dreams which I had buried inside long ago and he gave me the courage to fight my demons but there were some things in our life which we could only dream of but couldn't possess. He was that forbidden thing to me.
I wanted him in my life. I wanted to share my life with him and I wanted to love and cherish him with my life and I know I was being selfish but I knew he deserved the world unlike the worthless excuse of a human like me. So I stopped yearning for the things that I couldn't own.
Though I was courageous enough to fight my demons, I was not bold enough to protect myself from falling into the abyss.
I left my past with the hope to start a new life but those nightmares and terrors didn't leave me alone, always reminding me of a fact that what a pathetic person I was.
Sometimes I would hear the voice calling me to submit myself to it. How much I wanted to do it, I can't because if I do, then my mom will be again left alone in this world and I know she was not strong enough to face another heartbreaking event.
That was the reason why I never disclosed anything to her or grandpa. If they come to know about everything, I knew they would forever carry this guilt of not protecting me from going through all this, all over their lives. So I would do everything that makes it to keep all of these as a secret from them.
I brushed off my tears and closed that album before fixing my gaze on my dad's portrait that was hanging onto the walls of the study.
"Dad, if you were alive, would my life be different from now?" I thought before resting my head on that table and started staring outside the window before closing my eyes subconsciously.
"Yuktha?" I groaned when someone nudged my shoulder softly.
"Yuktha! Why are you sleeping here?" I opened my eyes unwillingly when I sensed the worry in that tone.
I smiled at her lightly while guarding my eyes against the sun's rays. I yawned while standing up and stretched my limbs before looking outside the window to welcome the sight of the bright sunny day.
"You haven't answered my question yet. Why are you sleeping here?" She again asked me but now in a somewhat stern tone.
"Just like that. Yesterday, I couldn't get a wink. So thought of going through the old albums of my amazing parents but I somehow fell asleep without my notice." I told her in a truthful tone and hearing my words, she looked at that closed album with a smile but I can feel the suppressed pain in her eyes.
"Silly. If that's the case, you should have woken me up na. I would be glad to give you some company till you fall asleep." She said, retracting her eyes from the album.
"My my!! How could I disturb my beauty when she was having her beauty sleep?"
I exclaimed in a dramatic tone before throwing my arms around her neck and attempted to bit down her chubby cheeks but she stopped me from doing so by placing her hand on my mouth.
"I will beat you to death if you don't stop that cheeky act of yours, you stinky girl. Go and wash up. You are getting late for your work." She said while slapping my head lightly and walked out of the study.
I pouted a little and left the study not before placing that old album in its place. I went to my room and after taking a look at the clock, I scurried into the washroom to finish my morning chores.
After I was done, I went to the small closet of my room to dress up and brushed my hair before weaving it into a side braid. I grabbed my bag and coat before walking out of my room.
I headed down and joined my mom at the dining table as she served me crispy dosa and coconut chutney. I grinned at her when she did so and tore a piece of dosa before dipping it in the chutney and placed it in my mouth. Wah. What a heavenly feeling.
"Ma, You are awesome," I complimented her while taking a sip of the orange juice and she just rolled her eyes at me in response.
"Thank you. It's my honor to receive a compliment from you, your highness."
"No no. It's my honor to compliment a humble being like you." I told her in a mighty tone as I dodged her attempt of whacking my head again.
When I was almost done with my breakfast, she said, "Go back to the girls. I am going to Bangalore as a guest faculty for one of the universities there."
After hearing her, I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.
The first two or three chapters might be the same as the old plot.
Actually, I was in total dilemma about whether to go with the old plot or the new one and almost thought of giving up on this story for now and would publish it when I could some consensus.
But I knew so many of you might be waiting for this story and I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. So after a lot of thinking, I mustered up some courage to publish this chapter.
So kindly do let me know about your opinion, especially the old readers of this book once the new phase in the story starts.
Thanks for reading.
Please do vote and comment.
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