≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

"阿公，𝐈 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒"

≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

My grandfather used to talk about how much he loved his wife when they were younger, and that she was the prettiest lady in the kopitiam (coffee shop). She would serve him coffee and he would have stars in his eyes as if he saw an angel for the first time.

He said when I was older I should look out for things that were attractive in a man: one looks, because he wanted good-looking grandkids that other people would be jealous of; two: wealthiness, because he wanted to retire; three: personality, because he'd say I would get out of the house faster.

Guys who are good-looking aren't hard to find with standards this low, but rich guys are hard to find because they are gross, guys with good personality is worse after the guys in my class screams "SHEEEESH" like a hyena.

So, no. I would rather like girls, because they are ultimately better in their lives and the ecosystem then guys, but alas, the heart chooses what they want, so I am unlucky in every single fucking way in relationships.

Then came the anime guys that made my dirt-low standards rise to the fucking top like the highest floor in the Kuala Lumpur Tower that frankly made me shit my pants. 

Those, 2D, sparkly eyed, in another dimension, paper thin boys were out of my reach from my living room to the confinements of the Panasonic TV screen. However, my hearts were still theirs and I have fell into the hole of high expectations coupled with never seeing real men the same way.

Unless they were in a Chinese historical drama with their long hair, and elegant stature, 

Not that important.

Basically, men ain't shit and I couldn't find anything redeemable about them even in my late teens, but that one quote from my grandfather has stuck to me like a moth to a flame, that couldn't stop pestering the mind of a horny teenage girl.

Find something that was attractive in a man.

What did I find attractive? My friends would say answers like: "I like his eyes, because they shine brighter then the bluest sky," or "I like her hair because it's so luscious and long and I would like to comb my hands through it like a flowing river."

No, the only thing I found attractive was the face, like any other person who was in their vanilla crushing phase.

I was vanilla, I can admit that. I proudly admit that I was that one vanilla chick who would read short stories on ao3 while turning my head away while gagging once the every-so cheesy smut scenes came along to grace me with their presence.

In late 2021, this was about to change. I would go from a normal teenage girl to an expert in finding the attractive things in a man. 

With the help of my other Malaysian friend.

≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

"𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐒?"

≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

It was a beautiful day at 9 am in the morning. My phone woke me up from my slumber, and it's now screaming at me to wake the fuck up so I can make coffee for my grandma who had gotten her booster yesterday. Which means, more child labour for me, and my grandma can lie down on her couch while I iron the clothes (also my hand.)

I went down. Nothing special. I made breakfast. Nothing special. I showered. Nothing special. I played genshin. Nothing special. I shit-posted on my friend's Whatsapp before going to the toilet for my daily doo. Nothing special.

The day went by fast as I scrolled on Tiktok, the one app that I refused to download until this year because of its never-ending feed of couples being cute and weird cat videos that made me want to cry, scream and rip my hair out, in that order.

It was just a normal usual day, that I spent my time wasting instead on studying my ass off, watching Encanto with my grandmother, and crying my heart out relating to the outcast main character, while also trying to feast on crumbs of Camillo screentime and Bruno moments that made me question my lack of time preservation,

 Then night came around 7pm, dinner time.

My mom and my uncle came home for dinner, eating the same old soya sauce chicken with ginger and hard boiled eggs with steamed vegetables which I totally did not drop from the dining table and walked away from,

Before making some oranges for refreshments after the heavy meal. I took one, then another, then I ended up finishing the whole plate which the adults didn't like.

I smiled contently, orange in my mouth, clicking on the Tiktok app that was menacingly calling for me through the screen.

The first video, had me go through an awakening.

It made me feels things I didn't know I could.

It was terrifying.

It was exhilarating.

My vanilla ass couldn't handle such heat. 

Seeing the guy in a cosplay kneeled down with a can between his thighs and crushing it as if it was some fragile pottery. 

I felt my jaw unhinge and my eyes bulge out.

I immediately pulled my arm in an angle where my family could not see,

and played it on a constant loop, 

while sometimes pausing the video to read the comments who were just like me.

It was hot.

Was it?

I didn't know what I felt but it the good kind.

Watching it, I immediately thought to the plethora of my anime crushes wedging my head between their meaty thighs, lightly squeezing it to test the pressure on my head that felt like a light massage,

before smothering my face with it; my cheeks smashing my lips together like a duck's beak, the warmth of those thighs on the sides of my face and then crushing it with pure ripples and muscles from those thighs. 

Holy shit.

Holy shit. 

In a frenzy, I hit the forward button in immediate response and sent it to my friend, Luisa. She was usually the one person I went to when all hell would break loose and send the demons flying around my neck with tempation. 

I hit send, and she replied almost immediately.

waiwai_vc
https://www.tiktok.com/share/video/7045004267509517614?source=webapp_messages
dude i just opened the app and saw this and immediately imagined ciaos thighs crushing my face i am not okay
also wld u like nekomakis thighs to be in ur face

que pasa
LMAOO i mean 😁😁😁😁 he's like athletic isn't he

waiwai_vc
ngl thighs are hot and soft
when I get a bf i wanna sit down on the floor and just rest my head between his thighs like the head pillow things u bring to the airport
and then he can crush my head

que pasa
THE PERFECT DESCRIPTION
soft and comfy and meaty just like a soft pillow
LMAO YES CUTEEEEE
THICK THIGHS SAVE LIVES
😍 saying this for myself too bc I got thick thighs lmao #insecure

waiwai_vc
muscles are kinda cute too
dude honestly if boys gave me the biggest hug w those arms and get all comfortable
i wld pengsan

que pasa
YOU RIGHT OMG
guys like those look super huggable
for some reason

waiwai_vc
ITS BCS THEY LOOK SOFT DOING IT
i just love hugs man

que pasa
same but im also afraid of physical touch what is wrong w me

waiwai_vc
like when izzy or any of u guys legit touch my neck or smtg i recoil bcs im hella sensitive
but i will melt if the person i like does that to me

que pasa
SAME I WOULD TOO
it's weird bc i crave physical touch but i don't like being touched or ig intimacy but that's a conversation for next time
BRO PEOPLE U LIKE GIVING U HUGS >>>>>

waiwai_vc
AHHHGH
honestly even the littlest things from u guys make me go boom boom
if this platonic shit makes me boom boom from my friends im going BAKDOWUDYFUAEIRUIWDIKAKDKAKAK from a person i really like

que pasa
I UNDERSTAND THIS
we r so touch starved LMAO

waiwai_vc
okay wait going back to thighs
i have a confession

que pasa
yes yesss

waiwai_vc
it's bcs even though i want ciao to crush my thighs i am very scared if he actually dkes

que pasa
LMAOOO don't be scared it happens sometimes

waiwai_vc
like its hot but do i actually want my face to be crushed no i just want some thick things to squeeze my face
wait yeah it is actually crushing
okay i have a thigh kink thanks luisa

que pasa
ure welcome for making u realise ur true form
i like the slow realisation
warm pinchers

waiwai_vc
WARM PINCHERS????

I smiled lightly at the screen, before turning it back off after moments of realising she was now offline, and turned to my laughing and bustling family watching NHK Japan to marvel at the beauty of that country while constantly shitting on how Malaysia was nothing but a convenience store next to a palace.

I saw a vacant seat next to my grandfather on the couch and crashed on it, putting my feet on his huge belly that looked like he was carrying quintuplets. He scoffed and shoved my feet back down, as I properly sat back up and whispered in his ear,

"阿公，I like thighs."

His eyebrows furrowed.

"You like thighs?"

I nodded.

He gave me a satisfactory smile and gave me a thumbs up.

≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

"𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐎"

≻ ───── { ⋆✩⋆ } ───── ≺

this was purely self indulgent which was helped by "que pasa" who shared this interesting awakening with me

and if you are reading this,

im sorry,

but if you enjoyed it,

i love you.