Tears wouldn't stop sliding down my cheeks. There was no lump in my throat, or a cry in my lung, just warm water ruining my mascara.

It wasn't sadness. It was mourning.

Elena. Dorian. My youth.

Silence filled the limo. Not the tense kind, the calm, helpless kind.

I breathed in and checked my phone for the first time in hours, only to find Jax's text, sent half an hour ago. Another wave of sadness washed over me, this time it was about my future instead of my past.

I've decided I'm not ready to let you go, and I'll be waiting in front of Darascu's place.

My tears turned louder, and I blubbered for a few seconds. Then, as if Dorian wasn't sitting right next to me, I faced the window and the traffic, hoping it would hide my tears.

"You okay?" Dorian asked.

I laughed humourlessly through the tears, "Don't pretend to care."

"We were at truce for almost two hours, we can do three more minutes."

I faced him. There was a slouch to his posture that I've never seen, like he was so tired he couldn't sit straight anymore, like there was a weight on his shoulder that turned a bit too heavy. I gave him my phone.

His shoulders fell just a bit more as he read the message.

"You like him, don't you?"

"That doesn't really matter, right?" I chuckled. "He's a vampire hunter and I'm a fucking vampire. If I care about him at all, I'll get the fuck out of his life."

Dorian took in a breath, "Can I give you some unsolicited and unorthodox advice?"

I met his gaze, "Okay."

He handed me the phone, "Tell him the truth."

I laughed, "Right."

"I'm serious." Dorian pushed. "Tell him the truth. He's going to find out anyway if you keep seeing him. And you and I both know you're too selfish to truly walk away."

"Fuck you." I murmured. "Although you might be right."

"Tell him the truth." He shrugged. "Jax is layered enough to understand."

I scoffed, "He hates vampires."

"He doesn't know vampires."

My head snapped towards him again.

"He knows you." Dorian continued. "And he doesn't hate you."

Suspicion rose within me, and I squinted at him.

"Why would you suggest I do something like that? That's a dangerous precedent. He would know then."

Dorian chuckled, "Maybe it's time the world found out."

How I wished I could read him. How desperately I wanted to roam through his mind, find the answers to all the questions I've ever asked him.

"And what if he tries to kill me?" I raised my eyebrow.

He shrugged, "Do it in a public place. If he starts shouting that you're a vampire, no one's going to believe him and he's gonna end up arrested."

"Lovely."

Dorian laughed, "Hey, it's a bonus for me."

"Maybe you're right." I leaned my head against the window. "Maybe he'd be alright with it."

Jax didn't know vampires. He thought we were bloodsucking monsters with red eyes and forty teeth that burst into flames in contact with sunlight. We were bloodsucking monsters that looked just like people and could move around inconspicuously. I sighed.

"Can you drive me to your place, please?"

"Sure." Dorian moved forward and said something to the driver while I stared out of the window.

Maybe I needed to rip the Band-Aid off before it was too late. If I continued seeing Jax, he would eventually find out. He would find a blood bottle, or catch me drinking. What happened once Lucia gave birth? He would find out pretty quickly the baby was a bit too bitey.

If I told him, he could choose what he wanted. He could decide if this was too much for him.

Without honesty, we had no future.

My tears dried the moment I made my decision. A different sort of anguish settled over me as we drove through the mostly empty streets of NYC. We arrived in front of Dorian's house too quickly and my palms began to sweat once I spotted Jax leaned against his motorbike, smoking a cigarette.

With a somewhat heavy heart, I took off the ruby necklace Dorian has given me.

"It's a shame this truce between us couldn't have lasted for a night." Dorian said to me as I handed him the necklace.

I kept silent. Dorian opened the limo door. Jax immediately stood up straight, but kept his distance. I scooted to the left side and grabbed the hem of my dress.

Dorian held the door for me, and as I exited the limo, he added, "I was looking forward to getting some sleep."

Our eyes met one more time, and I simply nodded, not even sure what I wanted to communicate. Dorian offered a small shrug and gestured towards Jax already walking our way.

I looked at my lover and noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness in the corners of his lips. There was relief in his eyes, but also questions. Lots of them.

"Hey." I forced a smile.

Jax put his hands in his pockets, "How was it?"

I sighed, "Both traumatizing and underwhelming at the same time."

"Well," Dorian chuckled, "That's one way to put it."

"Goodnight, Darascu." Jax said.

Dorian threw his jacket over his shoulder, "Next time you park in front of my house, I'll have your bike towed."

"Fair." Jax grinned and put his hand around my waist, "Ready?"

"Yeah." I hugged my arms and walked with him to the bike, careful not to turn around, not even once. I heard the front door close and only then managed to breathe out the air festering in my lungs.

Once we reached Jax's vehicle, I stopped in place.

"You okay?" He faced me, some of his resignation turning to worry.

"Can we talk?" I looked up.

Tension made him stand up straighter, "Of course. Do you want to go back to my place?"

"Actually," I rolled the words on my tongue, "I'd like to go somewhere crowded."

Jax laughed, "Really?"

"I just-" I grabbed my hem, "I need to be surrounded by regular people."

And somehow, Jax understood even this.

"Sure, hop on."

He gave me the helmet and I put it on subconsciously, my gaze flying to the brick stone mansion in front of me and the dim light in the living room. Would it truly be another sleepless night for him? Would it be a sleepless night for me?

"Odette?"

"Yes?" My head snapped towards Jax, he was sitting on the motorbike. "Yes, sorry."

I climbed behind him and put my hands around his waist. Right, off to have this conversation. Like I'd needed more of those tonight. The golden dress swayed behind me and part of me felt terrible for ruining it with a motorbike ride, but I needed to get out of here, and God knew I couldn't take anything else from Dorian's mother's closet.

The wind whooshed through my hair, chasing away all the foggy thoughts. Enough. It's been enough of this night. I just needed one single second to breathe, gather my thoughts, decide what to do next.

I would tell him the truth. We would sit down and order shots, and I'd tell him who and what I was. If he hated me after that, fine. But he'd hate me more if I kept lying to him.

Jax stopped at a red light, and a nauseous feeling upturned my stomach. The streets of NYC were half-empty, with only an occasional car driving by. The night was calm and clear.

The light turned to yellow, then green, and Jax twisted the throttle, accelerating down the road. We had only gone a few yards when I heard a loud screeching noise, followed by a sickening thud. I looked up, only to see a car hurting towards us. Jax tried to swerve out of the way, but it was too late.

The car slammed straight into us, and I felt myself being thrown from the bike.

Time stopped and accelerated at the same time. I flew through the air, my body tumbling end over end. The starry sky and the pavement exchanged before my eyes. The screams leaving my mouth sounded nothing like my voice.

My head beat against helmet which beat against the pavement, and the impact pushed me off again, and right back into the ground. My body scratched against the asphalt. Tiny stones and dust ended up in my mouth, my hair, my skin. Pain tore through me a few seconds later, and my head spun and rang.

My eyelids fluttered.

No. No.

I forced my eyes wide open and breathed in deeply. No. I couldn't lose consciousness. I found the ground underneath my open palms and pushed against it. The helmet remained on my head.

The helmet-

"Jax!" I shouted, struggling to push myself up.

The blood pumped through my veins, the human blood I've consumed at the ball because Dorian was fucking right. I was weak. I was too fucking weak.

"Jax!" I screamed, but there was no response.

Glancing around, I spotted his body sprawled on the asphalt, the trail of blood behind him, leading from the impact point to where his body finally stopped.

"No, no, no." I muttered and put my feet on the ground.

Pain reverberated through every nerve-cell inside me, but I forced it all to the back of my mind and stood up. Limping, I moved towards Jax.

"Fuck." I threw myself on the ground next to him.

He was coughing badly, his face distorted into a painful grimace, his entire body limp. He had no helmet on. He didn't get another helmet. And he hit his head against the pavement. And he lost a lot of blood.

"Jax, you have to stay awake." I murmured, frantically looking around.

Sirens were blaring in the distance, but the streets were empty. The car that hit us was on the street, but there was no driver inside. Whoever hit us, fled. And judging by the state of his vehicle, he had to be healing pretty quickly to run from this kind of crash. Vampires.

This wasn't an accident.

"Fuck." My heart began to pound as I fished Jax's phone out of his pocket, which was fortunately still working.

Mine got tossed across the street.

"Odette-"

"Stay awake." I grabbed his hand, and typed 911 into the phone. "Just stay awake, help is on the way. Come on."

He coughed and his eyelids fluttered. Every goddamn inch of his body was either scratched or bruised. His lips were cracked, his eye got hit at some point. Tears slid down his cheeks as he looked at me. Pain and sorrow intertwined in his eyes. And weariness. So much weariness.

Panic flooded me.

"Fuck!" I shouted right as the ambulance answered.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I'm- I've been in a car crash, on the corner-" I caught the names of the streets, "of 2nd Avenue and East 96th Street! My- my friend hit his head, and he's bleeding heavily, I- you need to come quickly!"

"I'm dispatching an ambulance to your location right now." The woman answered. "I'm going to need you to stay on the line with me and listen to me."

The sense of urgency took over me as I watched Jax's breathing slow down.

"Jax!" I shouted, and his eyes snapped open. "You need to stay-"

"Miss, I'm going to need you to calm down." The woman said. "Do not move the injured person, unless there is an immediate danger of fire or explosions. Do you have a first-aid kit nearby?"

My hands were shaking. Fuck. Fuck!

"No!" I shouted. "I- I don't know. We were on a motorbike! You need to tell me what to do, you need to-"

"The ambulance is on the way. You need to try to keep the injured person calm and-"

"No, I can do more, I can-"

She didn't know what I could do. But there had to be something I could do. I was a goddamn vampire! I needed-

I put the woman on hold without another word, knowing full well she'd curse me the moment she figured it out, and called the one person I knew could help.

"Dorian!" I shouted the moment I heard his sharp intake of breath on the other end. "Dorian, we've been in a car crash! Jax is dying. He- he hit his head and he's bleeding, and the ambulance is taking too long!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" Dorian shouted from the other end. "Make sure there's no one around."

My voice turned into a screech, "Not a single fucking soul! Tell me how to help him!"

I looked at Jax. A wave of dread washed over me. He was too calm. There was no pain in his expression, only quiet, creeping sorrow. He looked at me, a serene smile pulling his lips up.

"Odette-" Dorian's voice reached me. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, dammit!"

"You need to give him your blood."

The world silence for a split second, and then I realised what he said.

"What?!"

"Give him your blood. Let him drink from you."

The phone slipped from my hand onto the concrete.

"Hey-" Jax murmured. "It's okay."

"No, not really." My gums began to hurt, and when I opened my mouth, two sharp fangs appeared.

Some of the life returned to Jax's eyes – defiance, disbelief, disdain. Ignoring him, I sunk my teeth into my wrist, and ignoring the pain, placed the wrist over Jax's mouth. He trashed against me, his eyes wide and terrified, but I grabbed his head and kept it in place. My heart broke apart, my soul tore at the thought of doing this to him, but there was no other choice.

"I'm trying to help you. Please. It's going to help you." Tears filled my eyes at the sight of rage in his eyes, but I made him drink.

And after a while, his heartbeat grew stronger, his breath deeper, and he lost consciousness a few moments before the ambulance came. When they came to pick him up, his bleeding has miraculously slowed. He's suffered head trauma, and definitely had a concussion, but they needed to make sure there was no bleeding on the brain. The police came after some time, and asked for my statement, but I had nothing to tell them. Someone crashed into us and fled. There were no witnesses.

I came to the hospital with Jax. They made me go, because my wounds could be serious too.

Once he was admitted to the hospital, I waited. And waited.

And hoped he would at least listen to me once he woke up.