"Jax!" I stepped out into the cold, catching him on the steps in front of Dorian's house. "Come on, it was a kiss. And it only happened once."

I could pretend I didn't understand his anger, pretend that I thought he was overreacting, but it would be just another lie. I knew why he was mad.

"Why didn't you tell me then?" He faced me, and the hurt in his expression almost made me stagger back.

"I was fifteen." I tried again. "I don't expect you to tell me about every single person you've kissed."

"And I don't expect you to do that either." He spoke. "But I explicitly asked you about him, I asked you if you two were lovers, and if you had said yes, I would have been alright with it."

"Jax." I repeated his name. "It was a kiss. Ten years ago. That's hardly lovers."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" He came closer, and stood a couple of steps below me. "You said you were friends. Well, friends don't kiss."

"Come on, it could have been a dare." I noted. "Or seven minutes in heaven, or some other teenage bullshit."

"Was it?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Well, no."

Jax turned around.

"Wait." I reached for him, touching his upper arm in the leather jacket. "I'll tell you what happened."

Jax faced me again, his jaw clenched. He didn't believe me. Dammit, he didn't believe me I'd tell him the truth even when I promised I would. He chewed the inside of his cheek, and after a few seconds, finally sighed.

"Okay. Tell me."

I sat on the cold stone, and even though I had nothing but Cherry's t-shirt on, I wasn't cold. Every inch of me was burning, and even the jeans and sneakers I had on felt like too much fabric. Jax sat next to me, and we stared at the street ahead.

"It was Dorian's seventeenth birthday." I began, my memories taking me back to that day, or night. "And my sister, Elena, wasn't there."

"Is that the one he's engaged to?" Jax interrupted. "You could have told me that as well. And what's the deal with Cherry? God, he's more twisted than I thought."

"Just let me speak." My voice sounded rougher than intended.

Jax breathed in sharply, "Go ahead."

"Anyway, Elena wasn't there." I continued, remembering how my stomach dropped the moment she said she wouldn't be coming, how frantically I went through Libby's closet, trying to find something to wear. "And without my older sister there, I was let off the leash."

A strained chuckle left my lips. So far, so true.

"And you were fifteen?"

"Fifteen and a half." I corrected, my mind jumping back to that moment, when I'd repeated multiple times that I was indeed fifteen and a half.

If you have to say 'and a half', you're too young. Shit. I shouldn't be remembering things he said that night.

"Anyway, I got a little drunk." I brushed it all off with a chuckle. "We all did, to be honest. One thing led to another, and I ended up with the spawn of Satan in his bedroom." My face distorted, "We kissed. Once. And it hasn't happened again since. Hell, I didn't think he even knew it was me."

Jax looked at the street, and I watched his profile, lit by orange streetlight. Anger seemed to have left him, but he still looked confused, and a little jealous, which frankly, I didn't completely mind.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He glanced at me.

"Because it doesn't matter." Part of me truly meant that. "Not after everything that's happened after that."

"Are you finally going to tell me why you hate him?" Jax kept his eyes on me.

Cars drove through the street, and a fare light fell on us every few seconds, combining with the orange streetlight. Pushing that night out of my mind, I took a deep breath and began to speak.

I told him everything, with embellished details. I told him how hard Elena tried to impress Dorian, and it ultimately led to her death. Instead of her attacking some guys in the alley, I told him they were probably trying to rob her or something. And I even told him what happened to Dorian's parents, and how he disappeared from my life for six years after that, only to return and become best buddies with my sadistic asshole of a brother.

"I wouldn't have come here if I'd had any other choice." I said finally, hoping he would understand.

Jax stared ahead, his eyes wide, and his lips a thin line. I was now facing him, sitting in such a way that my entire upper body turned to him. I wanted him to accept that kiss for what it was – a messy, stupid mistake I've made when I was fifteen. I didn't want him to dig deeper.

"I get it." Jax nodded after a minute of silence. "I understand why you're not friends anymore."

"I haven't even seen him in two years before I came to the Lion's Den." I said, still trying to excuse my behaviour.

"Is Lucia safe here?" Jax asked, surprising me.

And I surprised myself when I said, "Yes. She's safe here. She's safer here than anywhere else."

"Why is that?"

Jax couldn't know the real reason why I trusted Dorian when it came to Luce. A vampire human hybrid? He'd protect that baby with his life if it came to that. He understood how valuable it was.

"Because he's not half as bad as I make him out to be."

I didn't truly mean that, but it would suffice.

"Okay, I'll trust you." Jax nodded. "I'm just worried about her, you know?"

A small smile gripped my lips, "Why is that?"

"My grandmother came to this country as an immigrant." Jax shrugged. "I guess Lucia reminds me of her."

I grabbed his hand, cold against my skin, on impulse, "She is safe here."

"I know you wouldn't put her in danger." He ran his thumb along the back of my hand.

"Do you want to get out of here?" My heart skipped a beat. "I need to get out of here."

"Yes, please." Jax smiled. "Do you need to stop by your apartment?"

"I have nothing to wear."

Except the shirt I came in, but a bullet pierced that one.

Crap, I haven't thought about that.

Someone tried to kill me a few nights ago.

"Okay." Jax stood up. "We'll stop by your apartment, grab something to wear, and you can spend the night at my place."

Warmth rushed through my bloodstream at the thought of spending another night with him.

"I just have to grab my things and tell Lucia I'm leaving." I stood up as well, the thought of returning to the house making my heart beat faster.

"I'll wait." Jax smiled, a strain still present in his voice.

The house was quiet, and I realised our short party stopped the moment Jax and I walked outside. As quickly as possible, I climbed up the stairs and gathered the things I came here with, which included one bullet-pierced shirt, a jacket, a pair of grey, still wet pants, and my leather bag. At least none of it was bloody anymore. I stopped by Lucia's room, only to find her tucked in the bed, typing away on the laptop.

I leaned against the doorframe and crossed my hands.

Lucia closed her laptop and sighed, "I'm sorry, that was really shitty of me."

"Why'd you do it?" I asked. "Are you seriously so bored?"

"Yes." She nodded. "But I also wanted to know, and you wouldn't tell me. I understand why you lied to Jax, but why did you lie to me?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "I guess I didn't want you to think less of me."

"For kissing someone when you were fifteen?" Lucia arched her eyebrow. "Get out of here! Jax is waiting."

I chuckled, "I'll swing by tomorrow, to see if you need anything."

"Yeah, I think I'm fine." Lucia returned to her laptop. "All the doctors are smoking hot."

I rolled my eyes and closed the door. Before leaving the house, I raided Dorian's fridge and stole a couple of blood bags. He better not mind after what he'd put me through today. I threw the bag over my shoulder and headed for the door.

"Leaving already?"

I froze for a moment, my heart dropping to my gut, then turned around slowly. Dorian was in the living room alone, sprawled in the armchair, a glass in hand and a half-empty bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. I walked into the room and stood on the carpet in front of him.

He came far from the tall, slightly scrawny kid I kissed that night, but he was gorgeous even then. The faint lamp-light coloured his cold eyes a shade of purple.

"Where's Cherry?" I asked, my heart settling in a moderate staccato.

"Mad at me." Dorian shrugged; eyes still glued to me. "She didn't appreciate my not telling her about you."

About me. Something about the way he formed that sentence made my heart mess up its own rhythm. So, he screwed himself over as well, just to spite me, just to reveal my secrets.

"You just had to do it." I stated, anger brewing in my veins.

Dorian put the glass on the table and stood up, "I had to."

"Why?" I breathed out, some of the desperation reaching my voice. "What's to gain?"

Dorian came closer to me, his head cocked to the side. The faint lamp light and the purple glow in his eye painfully reminded me of that night, and the same vulnerability breached through my defences. His breathing was slow, contrasting the ragged, fast breaths leaving my lips.

"How about some respect?" He asked, taking me aback.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Dorian took another step towards me, his gaze cutting through me with unfamiliar intensity.

"If you're going to paint me as a villain, Odette, at least tell the whole story."

Another step.

My heartbeat turned into a crescendo.

"You want to publicly denounce my name?" The corners of his lips lifted, but it wasn't exactly a smile. "At least let the public know what it once meant to you."

Pain twisted in my stomach, but I stood my ground, refusing to allow his proximity to affect me.

"How can I do that when I blame you for everything?" I spat each word I said, and hoped it hurt him.

I hoped my words burned through him the same way his did through me.

Dorian smiled softly, but his words cut sharper than knives, "Do you want to do that tonight, Ette? Talk about who's to blame for what? Do you want to open that can of worms?"

For a moment, I felt nauseous. No, I didn't want to talk about it – Elena, his family, everything that's happened after that cursed kiss.

"There's nothing to talk about."

The moment I turned on my heel, he grabbed my upper arm and turned me right back around, pulling me so close my chest bumped against his. He smelled like whiskey and winter, but there was something else underneath, something warm and painful, like nostalgia.

He leaned forward, until his lips touched my earlobe.

"You should be glad I only told him we kissed." He whispered, and his breath tickled my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Be glad I didn't tell him how you begged me to take your virginity that night. Be glad I didn't tell them how I can still hear your moans in my ear, how I can still taste you on the tip of my tongue."

The memory of that night slammed into me with unyielding ferocity, fervour, fire.

You're fifteen.

Fifteen and a half.

If you have to add 'and a half,' you're too young.

Dorian's breath came out sharp and strong against my ear, "I should have taken more than just a kiss. I would have had you forever."

His hand left my upper arm and the tips of his fingers slid to my waist. I couldn't move, not with the strands of his hair brushing my cheek, and his breath on my ear and my neck.

Remembering I wasn't fifteen anymore, and pulling myself out of the memory of that night, I grabbed his chin, and turned his face towards me, forcing him to look into my eyes. Something shone behind the purplish haze; clarity, recognition, fear.

"Well, you didn't take more than just a kiss." I whispered, my breath too close to his lips, and I forced out everything malicious I had inside of me. "Someone else did. Someone else has me forever now. And I hope you remember it all clearly, because you'll never taste me again."

Dorian's hand dropped from my waist, and the smile disappeared from his lips, leaving behind a ghost of some unfamiliar emotion; surprise, regret, longing.

I stepped out of his reach, turned on my heels, and walked away with a smile on my lips.

"Odette."

My feet buried into the hardwood floors as if wired to the sound of his voice.

"What?" I said through my teeth, hating him for ruining my dramatic exit.

When I turned around, Dorian held a piece of paper in his hand.

"Here."

"What's that?" I took the paper from him, only to notice it was actually an envelope with a gold emblem in the shape of a lion's head.

"I'm inviting you as my plus one to Ecaterina's ball." Dorian said. "How would you like to see your family again?"