Summer came to a close, which meant that it was my senior year of college. One more year of classes and I would be done with school, but more importantly, done with mine and Colin's long distance relationship. I missed him so much, but I was actually getting used to not having him around. We did long distance all of junior year and throughout the summer, so one more year wasn't a huge deal anymore. Plus, I made a lot of friends at school and had other things to focus on, such as water polo, classes, and trying to land an internship. 

After about a month into the fall quarter I started my internship search. I was an English major with a creative writing concentration, so I was looking for something that involved reading or writing. I knew that I would eventually want to become an author, but I needed more experience with my writing to get it out into the world and I figured that the best way to improve my writing is to read more. I decided that interning at a publishing company could help me read other writing while simultaneously discovering what publishers look for when deciding on what books to put on the shelves at a bookstore. 

I sent in an application and resume to multiple different publishing companies in the LA area, hoping to hear back from at least one company. I was so excited about having a potential internship in a field that I loved, so I FaceTimed Colin to give him a little update.

"Guess what!" I said, unable to hold back my excitement.

"Hmm, you got a good grade on your essay from last week?" Colin guessed.

"Haha no. I started applying for internships!"

"That's great! What kind of internship?" Colin responded.

"Well, you know how I eventually want to become an author, I thought it would be a good idea to intern at publishing company. Check out the other future authors and see what publishers are looking for," I explained.

"That is such a great idea, Gigi! I'm proud of you. Keep me updated on how the search goes, okay?"

"I will! How about you? Have you thought about looking for an internship?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. That is part of why I stayed at school over the summer. I started interning for a journalism company. It started in July and is going to extend throughout the school year."

"Wow that is incredible, Colin! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I wasn't sure if I would stick with it so I didn't want to tell you and then quit or something like that, but now that I'm really liking it I figured I would say something."

"Tell me about it. What exactly are you doing?" I asked

"I'm not really doing anything crazy. I help the journalists proofread their writing and read their stories. My writing isn't amazing right now, so they are having me go to a few workshops to improve it. Next semester they are going to have me follow a mentor to see a day in the life of a journalist," Colin explained. 

"Colin, this is so great for you. I can't believe how well things are going with your internship. This could really help you become a journalist once you graduate. You should keep me updated with everything that happens. I wish I knew all along." 

It almost felt like he was hiding this from me, even though I knew that it probably wasn't intentional. I wonder why he didn't say anything. If he didn't tell me, who was he telling? My mind was racing, but I needed to put it to a halt before I started overthinking and self-sabotaging. He said he wasn't sure if he would stick with it, so he wanted to be sure before telling me. That made sense. It seemed like he had it all figured out, so now it was my turn to get the ball rolling on my future plans. 

I waited a few weeks and all I got back were a few rejections from some of the companies I applied to. Most of them didn't even say why I was rejected. It was a huge bummer because I was so excited when I applied and absolutely nothing was coming of it. A publishing internship was what was supposed to push me in the right direction in terms of my career but nothing was happening. I was stuck exactly where I was a year ago, just going to school and going through the motions, with zero forward progression. I needed to call Natalie to get some advice. She was the one in our friend group that had perfect grades and a plan for her future thoughtfully planned out, soon to be executed. 

"Hey Nat, I need some advice."

"Hey Gigi! I hope your quarter is going well! What's up?"

"So I applied to be an intern at a few publishing companies around LA and I pretty much got rejected from all of them. No interview, not even a reason for the rejection. What do I do?" I asked. 

"Hmm, let me think about this. So you were rejected from all of them, without a reason as to why? Did you try to call them?"

"Yeah I tried but no one ever answers or it goes straight to one of those automated messages that will never get me to a real human."

"Well, I guess the only option you have left is to show up in person," Natalie said.

"In person? No way. I was already rejected. That would be so embarrassing and I bet they would think that I am wasting their time," I responded back.

"Gianna, I'm gonna give you the hard truth. You need to go for what you want, especially since you will be graduating in June. Not everything is going to come so easily. You need to keep putting in the extra effort if this is what you want to do. So if you want an internship at a publishing company, you are going to need to go walk into one, ask to talk to whoever is in charge, and figure out what you need to do to get a spot. Got it?"

This is why Natalie is earning perfect grades and got early acceptance into an MBA program for next year. Although what she said was a bit hard to hear, she was right. I couldn't sit around and wait for an opportunity to come to me, it was never going to be that easy. I need to go walk into a publishing company and explain why I deserved an internship. I decided that after the school week ended, I was going to wake up early that Friday morning,  walk into a publishing office and get that spot. 

I woke up at 6:00 that Friday morning to get ready for the publishing office. I hopped in the shower, blow dried my hair, straightened it, put on a simple makeup look, and got dressed in my slacks, a white blouse, and my black blazer. I looked at myself in the mirror and gave myself a pep talk. You can do this. Just walk in there and show them what you have to offer. What's the worst that can happen? They turn you away? Then you go somewhere else. You can do this. 

At 7:40 I got in my car and typed "Bennett Fischer Publishing" into my maps. It was a 10 minute drive, so that gave me an extra 10 minutes to find parking once I got there. I drove around and found the building, and to my surprise, there was a small parking lot next to it that had a few open spots. I parked and then sat in my car for a few minutes. I was really nervous, but I had a game plan: walk in, go to the front desk, and ask to speak directly to Mr. Fischer. Once the clock read 7:58, I made my way in. I walked through the doors and went directly to the front desk.

"Hi, how can I help you?" the receptionist asked.

"Hello, my name is Gianna. I would like to speak to Mr. Fischer if that is possible."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Umm, no, I don't."

"He has been very busy these days, but I'll see if I can get you in for a few minutes."

"Thank you." I walked towards the couch by the wall and took a seat. Things were going better than expected. I thought that I was going to get kicked out immediately, but it seemed like I would actually get a chance to talk to him. 

The receptionist caught my attention. "Gianna? Mr. Fischer will speak to you now. I'll show you to his office."

I followed her down the hall and into a large office filled with books.

"Hi Gianna, I'm Bennett Fischer, but you can call me Bennett. Nice to meet you," he said, extending a hand to shake mine. 

"Nice to meet you too, Bennett."

"So, what brings you in today?" he asked.

"Well, I actually sent in an application to get an intern position here, but I was rejected and I sort of wanted to know what I could do to potentially get another chance?"

"What is your last name, Gianna?"

"Oh uh it's Matheson. Gianna Matheson." He went over to his computer and starting scrolling.

"Ah Gianna. Senior English major at UCLA with a concentration in creative writing. We would have loved to have you, but we have deadlines. Applications were due before the end of summer, but I didn't receive yours until about a week ago."

Oh god. This is embarrassing. I didn't even check the deadline. I just proved how not punctual I was. Great.

"But, you seem like a great candidate. Why don't you apply again for the spring position, starting in January and ending in June?"

"Really? I would love to! Thank you so much. I will send that in today. I am so sorry for the late application," I said, excited for a second chance but still embarrassed from my screw up earlier.

"No problem, send it in and we will give you an answer in the next week. Hopefully we will see you in January," Mr. Fischer said, giving me some hope that I could actually get the internship. 

I continued to check my email every hour of every day for the next week. One night before I went to bed, I checked again and found a new message in my inbox. 

Dear Gianna,

We are pleased to offer you an internship from January 2018 until June 2018 at Bennett Fischer Publishing. Please respond within a week if you are interested in the position. We look forward to hearing from you

Bennett Fischer, CEO of Bennett Fischer Publishing, Los Angeles

I could not believe that I had gotten the spot! Natalie was right, I needed to learn to go after what I wanted because, in this case, it paid off! I was so excited that I responded to his email right away, letting him know that I could not wait to be a part of the team. 

I messaged Colin right away, letting him know the good news and then I FaceTimed the girls.

"Guys, I have great news! I got an intern position at a publishing company in LA!"

"I knew you could do it, you just had to give it that extra effort!" Natalie said.

"This is incredible, Gigi! I can't wait to hear all about it once you start!" Aria added. 

"You know what this calls for! A celebration! Aka, you guys need to come visit me in Santa Barbara before winter comes around," Casey said.

"I won't be able to make it out this semester, I'm so busy with school, I'm so sorry guys," Aria said.

"That's okay, it looks like it will be the three of us then," Casey said.

"I'm with Aria on this one. I have midterms coming up and I really need to do well," Natalie said.

"I'll be there Casey!" I chimed in. 

"Alright! Just the two of us G!" Casey said. 

When Colin messaged me back, he seemed so excited for me.

Colin: Congratulations, G! I knew you could do it! They are so lucky to have you.

Me: Thanks! Casey wants to celebrate in Santa Barbara, are you in?

Colin: Hang out in Santa Barbara, right on the beach? You know I'm there. Do you think Connor could come? He hasn't been able to stop talking about Casey since San Francisco.

Me: I'm sure that won't be a problem.

Casey was definitely going to be excited when I told her about Connor coming down. She has been talking about him every chance she gets. This was definitely going to be a weekend for the books. 

The following weekend Colin, Connor, and I found ourselves visiting Casey in Santa Barbara. Casey had a house with some of the girls on her team on Del Playa, the street right on the beach. Being on Del Playa felt like I was in a movie. The street was lined with cars, but people only rode their bikes and skateboards. Everyone was always in their front yards in bathing suits playing drinking games. I turned to my right and saw a house blasting music with a bunch of college kids, just playing games and dancing. I looked to my left and saw the same thing, but this time with an ocean view. I couldn't believe that this was Casey's life. It was incredible.

We walked into her house and put our things in her room.

"So the house its pretty packed, we have eight girls living here and I share a room with two of them. I talked to everyone and they are totally cool with you guys taking over the living room. We have two couches, both big enough for you guys to fit on. Gigi, you're gonna have to squeeze with Colin, but I'm sure you won't mind," Casey said.

"Not at all," Colin responded with a smile on his face. 

That night we went to a water polo party with Casey's friends. The house was just a few houses down from Casey's, so we pregamed at her place and then made our way over. When we got there, I was surprised at how crowded it was.

"Didn't you say this was a water polo party?" I asked Casey.

"Oh well it always starts out that way, but it always ends up packed with random people."

Interesting. Time to go with the flow. Colin and I teamed up to play beer pong against Casey and Connor. We were doing pretty well, but the more Connor and Casey drank, the slower the game advanced and it eventually faded out. Casey and Connor were so caught up in each other, so Colin and I decided to leave them to it. We made our way throughout the house, but we didn't know anyone and decided to take a walk outside. 

"This is really nice Colin. I feel like we never have time just to ourselves," I started the conversation. 

"Agreed. I have missed you so much Gigi. I can't wait for us to both graduate and finally end this whole long distance thing. I can barely stand it anymore," Colin responded.

"Same here. Once you graduate, do you plan on moving back home?" I asked.

"Well, this is thinking really far ahead and assuming that things work out perfectly, but the journalism company that I work for has an office in LA, so I was thinking I could come to you. We could both live in the city," Colin said, blushing a bit.

"That would be perfect! I hope I can find a job there and we can start our careers together in the same place." Colin and I had been together for a year and a half at this point and this was the first time we have ever really talked about our future. I didn't want him to think that I was moving too fast, so I never said anything. This is a conversation I have been dreaming of and it was finally happening.

We walked back inside and hung out until Casey was ready to go back. Once we got back to her house, we all got ready for bed and laid down. I shared with Colin and Connor had the couch across from us. 

The next morning I woke up entangled in Colin, just the way I wanted to be. I looked over and saw an empty couch. I wondered where Connor went. Oh. Wait. There was one place that made the most sense. He was definitely with Casey. A few minutes later Colin woke up and noticed that Connor was gone too. We didn't want to interrupt anything and we were starving, so we went out to buy bagels for everyone and brought them back to the house. When we got back, we saw Connor and Casey walking out of her room.

"Oh hey guys. How's it going?" Colin said, clearly trying to embarrass them.

Casey gave me a glare and Connor tried to play it off like nothing happened. 

We ate our bagels in awkward silence before Colin informed us that he and Connor were going to go surf for a bit. They grabbed their wetsuits and two surfboards from the backyard and made their way to the beach. That left Casey and I alone, so this was my chance to ask what happened last night. 

"Spill."

Casey looked away, unable to hold eye contact with me, "What are you talking about?"

"Oh come on Casey. I'm your best friend. What is going on between you and Connor?"

"Okay okay fine. We have been talking here and there since our San Francisco trip over the summer. He has been super sweet and we were having a ton of fun and things just happened."

"Well what exactly happened?" I asked.

"Gigi do I really need to spell it out for you?" Casey said, her face turning bright red. 

She really didn't need to spell it out for me. I could assume what happened. The only thing I cared about was her happiness and Connor was clearly making her happy. I was all for it. 

The rest of the trip went really well. After the boys got back from surfing, we hung out on the balcony and then got ready to go to the bars on State Street. We hopped around from bar to bar, dancing and hanging out just the four of us. This was definitely something I could get used to. What could be better than my best friend dating my boyfriend's best friend? Nothing. I was hoping that things would work out between the two of them. Casey deserved a nice guy and Connor was that guy. 

The next day we all went back to our schools and prepared for the upcoming week. I had a few weeks left of the quarter before winter break and then I would be starting my new internship at Bennett Fischer Publishing. Everything was finally falling into place.