"Baby..." I groaned as I hear Arabella crying in her room.

"Baby, Bells is up, she's probably hungry," I say a little louder.

The thick blanket of sleep that's been allowing me to only semi-awaken is quickly yanked off of me when I reach out in the bed to shake my wife, only to find her unresponsive.

My eyes spring open instantly. I sit up in bed, flinging the blanket off of both of us, as I go to flip her over on her back.

"Baby..." my voice trembles as I shake her a little harder.

She doesn't budge, the room's too dark and I can't see if she is breathing or not. My heart is painfully pounding against my chest.

And my world goes deaf.

I no longer hear my daughter's cries in the background, I can't even hear my racing heart. I don't hear anything as I flick on the lamp on the bedside table.

I look down at my wife, who seems to be sleeping peacefully. But her skin looks pale, too pale, almost ashen. I go to grab her hand but it won't untense to allow me to take hold of it.

And then I hear a sound. It's my own voice, and it's chanting the same thing over and over.

This is your fault.

Like the crack of a whip, time unfreezes. I didn't even realize I was screaming, but all of the sounds come rushing in. My cries mixed in with the cries of my daughter in the other room.

I pull Jelly's stiff body into my arms, squeezing her as tight as I can. Every breath I draw in feels like shards of glass, my head is pounding.

"Baby wake up! Please!" I choke out as I rock us in the middle of the bed.

"I need you! WE need you!"

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I don't even know how I've gotten here. It's like I'm watching everything happening through my eyes, but it's not me.

I'm in the hospital's waiting room with Bells cradled in my arms asleep. She's the reason I'm still here standing. Someone has to be here for her. Jelly would kill me if I pawned her off on someone else.

So here I am at four in the morning, anxiously waiting for the doctor to come out.

"Mr. Jeon?" I hear from behind me.

I turn to see an older doctor, whose eyes dart down to Arabella in my arms and then look back up to me with sorrow.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Jeon. There was nothing we could do. By the time she was brought in, she had already passed for a few hours..."

Hot tears roll down my face, I can't focus on his words anymore. She had died hours ago, lying right beside me! And I never even noticed.

"Did...d-did she suffer?" I ask not recognizing the voice that came from my mouth.

"No, Mr. Jeon she passed in her sleep," he says sympathetically.

"H-how?" I stutter out.

The doctor lets out a sigh and motions for me to sit. He takes the spot next to me and his eyes focus on Arabella.

"We don't know for sure yet, I'll have to run a few more tests, but...I presume your wife had a hard pregnancy and delivery, right?" he questions softly.

"Uh, yeah. Bells had a hard time coming out, the doctor had to use the vacuum on her." I say. My voice raspy as every word feels like sandpaper, scraping against my vocal cords.

"I think your wife suffered from an Amniotic Fluid Embolism. It's when amniotic fluid or fetal material enters the mother's bloodstream. Having an abnormal placenta is a risk factor, on top of needing to use the vacuum during delivery, which can disrupt the physical barriers between baby and mom...I saw in her charts that she missed her postpartum check-up, had she been complaining of feeling ill? Did she have a wet cough?"

My already broken heart shatters even more listening to the doctor explain how, if she would have been treated earlier, we could have saved her. It's all my fault! I made her miss her appointment. I've kept her so busy and not helped, this is my punishment.

God felt like I didn't cherish her enough, so he took her away...

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"God damn it, Jillian! Why do you have a fucking phone when you never answer it?!" I shout loudly as I use my spare key to get into the house.

I'm annoyed, it's too freaking early. If I had known being a godfather required me to take classes first, I would have let Jin do it!

Who am I kidding? I love Jillian and Arabella with all my heart, I'd gladly go to Saturday church school for the rest of my life for them.

"It's the last class before my little bean's baptism next week. You'd better be up and ready, Jillian!" I shout as I take off my shoes and walk into the living room.

"Hey, Jungkook. Where's Jillian?" I ask as I see him sitting on the couch.

His head is hung down and his back is to me. I walk around the couch to see his skin is pale and he's clenching his fists so tight I can see his nails digging into his palms. He looks up to me once he notices my presence in front of him. His eyes are bloodshot and swollen.

"Jungkook, what's wrong?!" I ask confused and concerned.

"She's gone" his voice whispers out.

"Gone? You guys just had a fight, it will be fine, you know how she is" I say feeling relieved that he's upset about an argument.

"She's not coming back!" He shouts as he stands grabbing my shirt in both his fists.

"Jungkook, calm down! Of course, she will be back. She would never leave you or Arabella, she loves you guys." I say trying to calm Kook.

He inhales a deep breath, his body is shaking violently, and a painful sob erupts from inside his chest as he starts trying to choke out his words.

"She's gone, Yoongi! She's dead because of me!"

I freeze at his words. I don't believe him! But as I stare at the man who's holding onto me for dear life, I know it's true. I can't stop my own tears as I wrap him into my arms holding him close as he breaks to pieces.

How did this happen? What did I miss? What are we going to do? The thoughts race through my mind, but suddenly halt when I hear my little bean crying in the other room.

Jungkook lets go of me and tries to calm his nerves so he can go pick up his daughter, but I stop him saying I'll go.

"No! I have to do it, Yoongi! I'm all she has left! We are alone now!" he says as he sinks to the floor covering his face.

"You're not alone, Jungkook," I say softly crouching down and pulling him against my chest.

"You both have me! You have all of us! We will figure it out together, now let me go get Bells and we will call the others, okay?" I say.

He nods his head and I quickly get up, rushing into Arabella's room. I scoop her up into my arms and awake her as I hum to soothe her.

I bite my lip tightly, drawing blood as I try to hold in my sobs that want to erupt from my soul. I look down at Arabella, who looks so much like her mom, with the same vibrant red-orange hair, the same small button nose.

And I know I'll never be the same, my soul is missing its other half because now my person is gone...

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