I never knew I could love something so small, but then I fell in love with Jelly. And I thought that was it, I would never love anyone like I loved her, but then Bells came into my life. I was so overwhelmed by all the love I had for her.

From the day she first came home from the hospital, she ruled the house like a tiny little tyrant and now on her birthday we have gone all out treating her like the queen she is.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

We all sing loudly, Bells claps happily along as she sits on my lap watching all the people who love her standing around the table.

The guys and Dani are here, Jackson and his crew, Eric and the girls from the coffee shop, they have all come to celebrate Bells' first birthday. She loved the process of opening all her gifts and the oo's and ahh's that encouraged her. She was in absolute heaven as everyone took turns passing her between them.

She had pizza, chips, and fruit, Nam kept sneaking her juice from his cup any time he thought I wasn't looking. The day had gone better than I could have ever hoped.

She destroyed the little smash cake as soon as Jin placed it in front of her. Not a piece of it made it into her mouth and we all laughed as she played with it. I wasn't too surprised, she was like her mom in so many ways and her not liking sweets was just another way she was her mini-me.

The party was finally over and I was beat. Bells was still walking all over the place clutching her floppy bunny by its ear as Tae and Jimin chased her around trying to get her to play with one of the new toys they got her instead. Namjoon and Yoongs were assembling her new playset out back and Hobi had taken his girls home.

"You can come up now! Bring my Sweet Pea with you!" Jin shouts from upstairs.

I groan as I pull myself off the couch and break in between Tae and Jimin stealing Bells from them. I ignore them as I walk up the stairs and into her room. Jin is standing in the middle of it with a proud look on his face and outstretches his arms to the side of the room where he's set up a pink reading tepee.

"So, yes, I know this is an amazing gift, but I can't take all the credit," he nervously bounces on his toes and leans into the tepee to pull out a small present wrapped in purple and pink jellyfish paper.

"She and I had talked about this before she passed. I had totally forgotten about it till it shipped to the house..."

My heart speeds up as I think about the love of my life. I walk over to Jin and he motions for me to sit. We sit inside the tepee, Bells on my lap, she loves the little pillows and alpaca Jin has put inside of it.

"This is for you, Sweet Pea," he hands me the gift with a sad smile. "It's from your mom."

My hands nervously loosen the wrapping for Bells and she takes over ripping it happily. She looks down at the book and is only interested, for a moment before she wiggles out of my lap and starts playing with the things inside the tepee.

I can feel my eyes starting to tear up as I look at the book I'm clutching in my hands. It's a personalized version of I Wish You More by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. I gingerly open the book to see she's had the inside of the book printed with a special message. 

To my beautiful daughter.

If I could give you one thing in this life, It would be for you to see yourself the way me and your daddy see you.

You're beautiful inside and out. I wish for you to grow up with kindness I did not always have. I wish for you to always chase your dreams and know that there will always be a team behind you to catch you if you fall.

I wish you to have more happiness than sadness and, on the days when you are sad, I wish you to know that I will always be proud of you. You have given me all the things I never knew I'd want from life. The day you were born was the greatest moment of my life, you make me and your daddy so happy.

I wish your Uncle Joonie always helps you with your homework and Uncle Jinnie teaches you how to bake. I wish your uncle Hobi and TaeTae teach you how to always be cheerful and how to have fun. I wish your uncle Jimin teaches you how to love the skin you're in and, MOST of all, I hope you turn out to be just like your daddy, with all of his fearlessness and compassion. And if you are to gain anything from me, I wish for you to have my strength, I wish for you to know life won't always be fair, but you are stronger than the things that try and keep you down.

-Love Mommy ଳ

My tears are falling and I suck in a breath trying to calm myself, Bells notices my tears and crawls over softly babbling as she pulls on my shirt trying to get my attention. I hold her close and stutter through the message as I read it aloud for Bells.

Jin clears his throat when I finish and hold out another gift for us. I unwrap it with Bells who is excited by the ripping sound. It's a photo book and as I open it up, the very first photo is of our very first day home as a family, Bells is swaddled in Jelly's arms and my arms are around both of them as we snuggle on the couch.

I continue to flip through and see it's filled with the happiest six months of my life, Jelly giving Bells her first bath, the first time she threw up on me, our first time giving her baby cereal, her snuggled up asleep on my chest and then another picture of her sleeping in the bed with Jelly.

"She didn't get to finish it, so I did," I hear Jimin speak from the doorway.

"And I got us this one," Joon says walking past Jimin to hand me a picture frame.

It's the last photo we all took together. It was an afternoon spent at the beach, the weather was wonderful and Bells had hated the sand, so a content Jelly spent most of the time on a blanket with a pregnant Dani as they watched us goof around in the water.

I remember her grumbling that I was cold and wet as I pulled her into my arms so we could have a stranger take our photo. Despite all her complaints, her smile is wide in the photo and we had a great time.

"Thanks, guys," I say as they wrap us in a group hug.

I'm crawling into bed later that night next to Bells as she dreams happily. The photobook is propped up on the nightstand next to a photo of Jelly and Bells. I lean down and kiss my sleeping daughter thinking about all the wishes Jelly made for her.

"I wish you grow up to be just like your mom: beautiful, smart, sassy, and strong," I whisper.

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