"Yoongs?"

"Yeah, Bean?" he answers looking away from his computer as I step into his office.

"Where's Daddy?"

"Out," he says bluntly and turns back to his computer.

I pout and mull over his one word. Daddy's been out a lot lately, everyone says he's with a friend but all his friends are my Uncles and I see them more than I see him lately.

"I wanna go home," I say quietly, feeling sad for no reason.

"He will pick you up later, Bean. You know that."

I nod my head but Yoongs hasn't even turned around to look at me. I start to fiddle with the things in his office and knock down the whole shelf that held his CDs.

"Bean! Gosh, just go play in the living room. I've got to get this done before next week," he huffs out, standing to pick up the mess I've made.

"Why?" I ask helping to pick things up.

"Because baby Alex will be here next week and then he's all I'll have time for for a while," he stacks the stuff back on the shelf and sits back at his computer, not bothering to give me another look.

I shuffle back into the living room and throw myself onto the couch. My mood growing more sour as I wait around for Daddy and think about how much has changed.

"Bells, baby, someone is here to get you," Auntie Jamie coos as she waddles into the room.

I excitedly sit up and my smile drops as I see Uncle Joonie there holding Malick's hand.

"Bells!" the small five-year-old shouts as he shakes his father's hand lose and rushes over to me.

I hug him back but I can't find it in me to smile. Yoongs comes out of his office and whispers to Uncle Joonie who frowns and nods his head.

"Ready to go, Little One?" he asks softly as he holds a hand out to me.

"Where?"

"You're coming home with me tonight. Kook will be out late tonight."

"No! I want to go home!" I say sternly as I let go of Malick and stand up.

"BEAN!" Yoongs scolds and I instantly start tearing up.

This isn't fair!

"I don't want to go to your damn house!" I shout and both adults look shocked.

Yoongs snaps out of it right away and his features tighten as he stomps over to me. I shrink back more than a little nervous and Uncle Joonie quickly steps between us, holding his hands up to stop Yoongs from reaching me.

"Relax, Yoongi. She's just a kid."

"No, she can't go around throwing a strop and cursing just because she's mad!" Yoongs says heatedly and I realize I've messed up.

I quickly take hold of the back of Uncle Joonie's shirt. Auntie Jamie steps in whispering to Yoongs and he grunts before stepping away and going back into his office slamming the door behind him.

I can't stop my tears, my breathing gets harder and my chest hurts. Daddy has been gone too much, I can't go home and now Yoongs is mad at me.

Auntie Jamie carefully kneels down next to me and tries to hug me as best as she can with her belly getting in the way.

"It will be okay, Bean. He's not really mad at you," she says softly, stroking my hair as she tries to calm me.

"Be a good girl at Uncle Joonie's, okay?" she says when I'm down to just sniffles.

I nod my head and accept Uncle Joonie's hand that's held out to me. The car ride is quiet and as soon as we get to his home, Uncle Joonie sends Malick to his room to play and whispers to Auntie Lilly.

She nods and gives me a wave before heading upstairs. Uncle Joonie quietly takes my hand and we head out of the house. He walks beside me not saying a word and leads me down a path until we reach a small clearing surrounded by large boulders.

One catches my eye, it's jankily carved on the side.

Jelly + Joon were here

I look up at Uncle Joonie who is looking at the words fondly.

"My mom came here?"

"This was our spot. You see your mom had a hard time gathering her thoughts and, well, we would come out here and try and organize them," he says softly and sits down beside me.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong, Little One," he says and then patiently waits for me to gather my thoughts.

"Everything is going wrong, Uncle Joonie. Ollie and I aren't friends anymore. Daddy doesn't want to be home with me anymore cause I'm not a baby, I said a bad word to you, Yoongs is mad at me and he's the only one left but now he's having a baby too, so who's gonna be a family with me?"

"The fear of an obscure future as our daily lives turn upside down is a moment of realization of the self. The realization of what makes me a true me, myself."

"Do you get what that means?" he asks tilting his head down to look at me and I shake my head.

"It means the future is scary, Little One. We don't know what's coming and every day is different from our last and, like today, it seems like everything is going wrong and turned upside down,"

I nod my head and frown resting my chin on my knees that are pressed against my chest.

"What's important on days like this is how you handle it. Today was a hard day for you, Little One, but you control how it affects you. You could have told us your feelings and you could have not used a bad word, but that's all come and passed. What you do next is also important. Who are you? What do you want to do?"

I think about it and he's right. I'm sorry for how I acted, that wasn't really me when I was fighting back at Yoongs.

"I'm sorry, Joonie," I whisper and he wraps an arm around me.

"You're forgiven," he says and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"You know, you are wrong about what you said though. Your Daddy would never not want to be with you and none of us have left you. You are our family, we will never leave you behind or alone. If you are facing hardships in your life in the future, I hope you will draw some strength from us."

I cry and he holds me close. It's exactly what I need. Well, almost... I need my Daddy, but he's busy and, like Uncle Joonie said, I've just got to talk to him when I have a chance.

"Ready to go back?" he asks standing up and taking my hand.

When we round the corner and his house comes into view, I grow excited. I can see Daddy's car parked out front. I let go of Uncle Joonie's hand and start running, but my steps falter as I get close, until they have all but stopped.

Daddy isn't in his car, but a lady is, and he's leaned into the window talking to her and a boy who's in the backseat. She reaches up and pats Daddy's head and he smiles at them both. I quickly turn around to bolt and bump into Uncle Joonie so hard that it causes me to fall back on my butt.

"Little One," Uncle Joonie calls out.

I curl up into myself embarrassed and angry. Daddy comes rushing over trying to talk to me, but I can't hear him. The thoughts in my head are louder than anything around me.

He is leaving me behind for a new family.

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