The next two days go by in a blur. The only thing I remember about this last few days is myself standing in the bathroom with a blade hovering over my wrists and then thighs, debating whether I should just drag it across my skin in hopes that the cut would be deep enough to cut an artery and bleed to death but then I think about the fact that I have a niece and three nephews that have already grown attached to me.

They've known me long enough to have some sort of memory of me and I don't want them to grow up not knowing me and one day asking their parents about me.

That would be traumatic for the four of them and their parents, these thoughts run through my mind each time and makes me hesitate long enough to put the blade back into its packaging and into the bathroom cupboard.

I feel like I should at least speak about my relationship with my siblings just so that you guys know why I speak to them the way I do.

Well, I have two sisters and a brother. My brother, Tyler, being the oldest and us having a 14 year gap makes him extremely protective over me. My sister, Trinity, and I always got into fights but it was hardly ever physical. The last time we actually fought was years ago, before she got married and had my niece, Alina. Back then, the closest we've had to a fist fight was me initiating it by slapping her hard on the arm, her hitting me back and because I was much younger, I would immediately run to our mother to tell on her. My other sister, Delilah doesn't live with us. She lives with her mother and sister back in my hometown. I haven't seen her since I was around 11 or 12 years old and because she's always changed numbers and I got my first phone when I was 14, I barely kept in contact with her. Social media didn't really help either because every few months or so I would see that I would get a Facebook friend request from another one of her many new accounts. Anyway, she's 5 years older than me.

I know that may seem confusing so let me explain a few more things that might help you understand my family.

My parents have been together for more than 20 years but were never married and that's why I have my mother's last name. My mother had Tyler when she was twenty and 4 years later had Trinity. A couple of years later, my mother met my father and later had me. My father was previously married to Delilah's mother but got a divorce because she cheated on my father. The story with Delilah's other sister is much more complicated than my family's story so to not confuse you further, I won't explain that and it literally has nothing to me so its basically irrelevant to this whole explanation.

So now that I gave an explanation about my family history, things might be a little more clear. I know I have a lot more things to explain but I really don't think this is the right time to have Family Chat with Y/N.

____________________

Its now Thursday and Cho-hee is sitting criss-cross on my bed explaining how we're going to have a party without my parents knowing. Impossible right? I mean, they have spies literally living across the road, how the actual fuck is Cho-hee going to have a party without my parent's personal private investigators knowing?

This is her party, she's planning it, not me sooo as long as Dean and Addison doesn't known about it, she can do whatever the fuck she wants.

Why is she here when the party is only tomorrow? Well she called me this morning saying that she has this genius plan that will, and I quote, 'defs work'.

Oh and my siblings? They don't really care about what I do as long as I'm alive and not 'burning the house down' as Trinity once said.

"Okay so! We're going to tell Mr and Mrs Choi that its one of our best friend's 21st birthday and that we wanted to throw a surprise party for her because she's been going through some tough times and we wanted to cheer her up and a bunch of other shit. And if they don't believe that, I have a few of these sleeping pills that will definitely knock them out for the night." She says as she reaches into her bag for the pills.

"No need. They'll believe it. Let's go." I get up from the chair I have next to the window in my fairly large bedroom.

"Wait, really?" She asks as she follows me down the stairs. "Well, Mr and Mrs Choi are quite gullible so I'm sure if you tell them that, they'll believe you." I tell her as I stop at the front door to put my shoes on.

"Why didn't you tell me that before I bought these expensive pills?" She pouts. I just shrug my shoulders as we walk over to the house across the street.

***

"Good afternoon Mr Choi, how are you doing on this fine day?" Cho-hee says in her sweetest voice. "Quiet well and yourself Ms Kim?" His deep voice sounds as soothing as ever.

"Oh I'm just peachy. Y/N and I actually came over to speak to you and your wife, may we come in?" "Of course." He moves out of the doorway, gesturing for us to come inside.

"Cho-hee! Y/N! Haven't seen you two in quite a long time." Mrs Choi's voice always sounds so comforting, no matter what she says.

"It really has been a while, hasn't it Mrs Choi?" I say, smiling widely at her. Don't look at me like that Cho-hee, I'm trying here.

"Oh, let me get you two something to eat." Mrs Choi says, turning to go to the kitchen. "Thank you auntie but we're not hungry right now, water would be fine with us." Cho-hee says as we all make our way to the living room.

"Actually, I'll get the water. Please sit auntie." I get up and make my way to the kitchen.

I've been here multiple times so I know where everything is by now.

After pouring four glasses of water, I put more water into the jug and put the now filled water jug back into the refrigerator. I make my way back to the living room with the glasses on a serving tray I found on the kitchen island.

"And that's why we decided to throw our dearest friend a party." Cho-hee explains with the same expression and tone she used to use when she wanted to convince my parents to let me go with her to parties back when we were in high school.

She's really good at convincing people. How does that saying go? She can sell ice to an eskimo? Yeah, that one.

I place the tray on the coffee table.

"Oh sweetie, don't say another word. Of course you can throw her a party. She seems like she's going through so much with her suicide and everything."

If only you all knew that the friend Cho-hee was describing is actually me and that I told Cho-hee to say that to you.

"But unfortunately my parents can't know about this auntie and uncle. They will think that I'm lying but surely I would never do that to you." I say as I sit down on the couch next to Cho-hee, hoping they will agree with me and keep this to themselves.

"Don't worry girls. We won't say a word." Mr Choi reassures us.

"Thank you so much Mr and Mrs Choi. We will definitely try our best to keep the noise to a minimum." Cho-hee says. "We unfortunately have to love and leave you now as we have to meet up with another one of our friends to discuss the rest of the plans for tomorrow night."

We bid our goodbyes and walk over to my house.

"Who else do we have to speak to?" I ask her.

"No one. I just don't want to stay there any longer. Their house smells like sandalwood infused gym shorts." I laugh at her weirdly descriptive comment.

She goes into the kitchen to get some snacks for us and I go get blankets and pillows because she wants to watch a movie.

***

Halfway into the movie she pauses the movie.

"Bro, you know my hot-ass cousin?" She says as she turns to me.

"I still think its weird that you call your cousin hot."

"That's not the point bitch!" She says as she slaps my thigh. "Fine, tell me." I roll my eyes.

"Well apparently, he's been in town since last week and I think my mom said that he's going to enroll in my uni. His friends are also enrolling but not all of them are going to enroll in my uni, some are enrolling into yours." Why does she sound so irritated? "And now I guess I have to invite him to the party because knowing him, he'll probably find out about it and rat me out to my parents." That's why.

"I thought you liked hanging out with him." I half asked her.

"I used to, then he became a cocky jerk. I mean he's hot but he keeps bragging about his looks and whatnot. When he's around his friends, his bragging is even worse." She rolls her eyes.

"How so?" "He always bring up the fact that I used to have a crush on him and how he had to 'rejected my sorry ass' because we're related." She rolls her eyes for the hundredth time since she brought up the topic of her hot- and now annoying- cousin.

"You had a crush on him?" I raise my eyebrow at her and she shrugs. "Cousins make dozens." She says playfully and winks at me.

"O-kay?" I press play and we continued watching the supposed 'horror' playing on my living room TV.

***

A little bit closer to the end of the movie, Cho-hee picks up her phone and starts typing...

Your Local Baddies Group Chat:

Cho Hee-Hee 💍:
Heyy baddies, party at Y/N's tm at 9, bring your own alcohol, no fighting and no smoking inside, the shit some of you people smoke stinks and we don't want the house smelling like all the different flavors of vape mixed with weed and cigarettes please <3.

Nissssssaaaaa 💋:
Oooh, fun! I'll defs be there!

Yeahh, vape 🤢.

Sweeeeett Caroline (Bababaaaa) 💘:
You smoke weed and you're complaining about the smell of vape?

Weed doesn't smell bad 🤷‍♀️

Cho Hee-Hee 💍:
You're right, it smells terrible 🤮 I don't understand how you can say that it doesn't smell gross.

It only smells bad if you aren't smoking it 🤷‍♀️

Sweeeeett Caroline (Bababaaaa) 💘:
Is Y/N gonna get drunk after 3 shots again? lmao

Hey I didn't eat that day and you know that! 🙄

Sweeeeett Caroline (Bababaaaa) 💘:
🤣🤣🤣🤣

Cho Hee-Hee 💍:
Please spread the word baby gorls 😘.

***

Not too long after that, the movie ends and we head to bed, getting as much rest as possible because knowing the two of us, we won't be getting any sleep tomorrow night.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

okay so chapter 2 is done, I know you guys are patiently waiting for the sexy male characters to make an appearance and I can assure you all that they will be in real soon.

I love you all <3 <3 <3 <3

~6/5/21~