Chapter 27: You Aren't An Inconvenience
Stella's POV
The first thing I was aware of was Gray's voice. I looked around in the darkness with a frown. It was so dark that I could not see anything but Gray sounded so close.
"Stella, wake up!" Gray shouted.
At first it was distant, but slowly grew in strength. It sounded as if he was right beside me.
"Your boy is cute when he's concerned," the Umbra Mortine said as it appeared in front of me.
"What are you doing?" I demanded to it.
It smirked. "Just taking a little joy ride."
Horror consumed me. I couldn't have let it take control again. I fought so hard to stay up, but I must have dozed off. Now who knows what damage it did?
"You better calm him down," the Umbra Mortine said, then vanished.
Quickly, my eyes flung open, meeting his worried ones as he shook my shoulders. His reaction caused me to become even more worried.
With a panicked look, I glanced around the forest to get my bearings. I had no memory of coming here, which meant the Umbra Mortine took me here. But if I was here, what did it do? And how long was it in control? The last thing I remembered was sitting on his bed. I didn't think I fell asleep, but maybe I was wrong. Otherwise, how would I have come here?
"Stella..." Gray breathed as he brought me into an embrace. "You're ok."
I held onto him as I locked eyes with Birch. Her eyes told me that something traumatic happened, but remained silent.
"It took control, didn't it?" I whispered as I drew out of the hug.
Gray cupped my cheek with a frown as he tried to understand what I said.
I cleared my throat. He needed to understand that I was the treat. I couldn't hide it any longer. There wasn't another time to talk about this. "I have an Umbra Mortine within me. It comes out when I sleep. Lately it has grown in strength. That was why I was here in Churchwell. Your father told me he would help me get rid of it."
Gray's eyes grew stormy for a moment as he exchanged looks with Birch. I shifted my weight as the silence made me feel uneasy. There was something I was missing in this silent conversation, and I didn't like it. It made me feel more out of place than I already had.
The way the two interacted, I would be lying if I said it didn't make me feel like I didn't belong. Maybe my worst fears were right. He had moved on.
"We probably should get back to school," Birch stated, breaking the silence.
Gray nodded as he grabbed my hand, then with his other hand grabbed Birch's. She fixed her gold bracelet, then stepped through a glittery vale to get to the school.
"Do you know how you stepped through that?" Gray asked as he pointed towards the vale we stepped through.
I shook my head as I looked back at it glitter. "No idea. I rarely know what I do once the Umbra Mortine takes over."
"How long have you been dealing with this?"
I shrugged as we walked into the school. "Months, but the sleepwalking, that is new. Probably only a week or two."
Gray's eyes glanced the ground, preventing me from seeing them. "I did not know... I'm sorry."
I nodded as a surge of frustration shot through my veins. Of course, he was sorry now that he knew. I reached out for help. I begged for it, but now when it was at its worst; he was sorry. You know, I was sorry too. I was sorry it came to this when it didn't have to. "I tried to reach out to you about it. I even reached out to Else. But she shot me down," I explained.
Gray's eyes once again grew stormy as he chewed on his lip in silence as we walked back to his room. He had nothing to say, but the thing was, this was the time for him to say everything. The ball was in his court. He could do so much more than say 'I'm sorry'.
"So Graywick told you that you have an Umbra Mortine within you?" Birch asked, breaking the awkward silence.
It wasn't until she spoke up I realized she was still will us. She was silent. Almost too silent.
"Yeah. That's what he told me," I said as I walked into Gray's bedroom. I glimpsed my reflection, but I only saw the Umbra Mortine staring at me with its blackened eyes. Quickly, I diverted my gaze to my muddy shoes.
"I know very little about Umbra Mortines. It is something that we are not taught about in school. They are more like stories people tell their kids at nighttime to scare them," she explained.
"But we will learn as much as we can about it," Gray piped in.
"Right," Birch agreed, then yawned. "Before we look into the subject, I want to get some extra sleep. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Thank you so much for your help," Gray said before she walked out of the room.
She threw one more sympathetic smile towards him then left without another word.
For a moment, we were silent as I stared at him. We had talked a little since I arrived, but that silence was catching up to me. I couldn't stand it any longer. I gave him his chance to speak. I waited for it. But now it was my turn to ask the questions. There were so many things I needed to get off my chest.
"So Birch... she's nice," I said, easing into the conversation.
Gray nodded. "Yeah, she's great."
"Are you together?"
He rose an eyebrow at me in shock that I would even ask such a question. "I found you in the woods and you told me you have an Umbra Mortine consuming you and you only want to ask me if I'm dating Birch?"
I nodded. Because for me, this was the most important question. "Yeah."
He shook his head. "No. We aren't dating. Does that make you feel better? I feel like this is such a stupid question to ask, especially after what we had been through."
I glared at him. Honestly, it didn't make me feel any better. I wasn't sure what I was looking for when I asked the question. But his response did not set me at ease. It was uncalled for and mean.
"You've changed," I said as my voice trailed off. "What happened to the Gray that cared about everything back in Jackson?"
He winced at my comment.
"Gray, I stood by your side, looked for you when I thought you were in trouble. I thought you would do the same for me. But when I tried to text you and find you to help, I faced dead ends. We went through so much here. I wanted you to be around to talk to, but you left me all alone."
The longer I talked, the more he shrunk in silence. It gave me more time to speak my mind, though.
"And now that I'm here with you, you barely said anything to me. I understand you lost Else, and you needed to cope with it. But I feel like I am invisible to you, like I'm an inconvenience."
"You aren't an inconvenience," Gray responded quickly.
"Then prove it to me because, Gray, I am losing my mind here, literally, and I can't keep it together any longer."
Gray stood up from the desk chair and strolled over to me. He stared at me for a moment before planting his lips onto mine.
His kiss caught me off guard. He had never kissed me before and as his lips brushed against mine, I couldn't help but pull him closer to me. After all that had happened, I still wanted him, even after all this time. I waited for this moment and now that it was here, I didn't want it to end.
Gray deepened his kiss, and it made my head spin. But as soon as the kissing became more heated, he pulled back. His eyes met mine as he cupped my cheek. "I love you."
His words made me speechless. I wasn't expecting them, and I wasn't sure how I wanted to respond. I did not think this conversation would turn into this.
"I have loved you for such a long time. Stella, I promise you were on my mind constantly when you were in Jackson. I am sorry I didn't reach out or come to talk to you. I see what I did was wrong. But I was just trying to keep you safe. I saw what the Darkling scratch did to you, and I realized Churchwell was too dangerous. I was too dangerous. My love for you convinced me that staying away was the best way to protect you. I should have never done that and I'm sorry."
His words melted my heart and my frustration. It made my worries fade away. They were exactly what I needed and what I wanted. "And I love you too. But next time, please don't block me out."
He chuckled as he brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Promise."
I leaned into him and closed my eyes. Now that I got that off my chest, the tiredness was taking over.
"Do you want to sleep a little before Birch comes back?"
I nodded. "Yeah. That would be nice. But do you have any chains?"
"What?"
"If I am going to sleep, I need to chain myself to the bed, so I don't walk off."
His eyes held worry in them as he looked around the room, trying to figure out how to keep me on the bed. "I have rope." He pulled out an armful of rope from under his bed.
"That should work," I said as I laid down on the bed. "Just make sure it's tight."
He nodded as he tied me to the bed. "We will fix this. I promise."
I just hoped it wasn't too late already. I remembered what the Umbra Mortine told me in the woods. It said that before long, it would take over at will. It wouldn't be just when I was sleeping. That terrified me. If it was telling me that, then there wasn't too much time until that would happen. I could feel it my bones.
"I'm just sorry it got to this point."
"Me too."
Gray finished tying me to the bed, then sank to the floor. For a moment, we were silent again. I watched as he glared at the wall, then let out a sigh as he sorted out his thoughts.
"When Else told me you were with my father... That was the only thing I could think about. It didn't matter that she was stabbed, or that I had a different mission. All of that didn't matter. The only thing that did was you. I know I haven't been around, but I hope you know you are still the most important person to me."
I couldn't help but smile at his words. "You are still important to me, too."
He smiled lightly as he gave a sigh of relief.
"I know things have changed but know that my feelings towards you haven't," I said as I looked up at the ceiling as the conversation died out again.
As my eyes got heavy, I could feel the Umbra Mortine's pull get stronger. It wouldn't be long now until it took hold. Gray just needed to understand that. I wondered if he even knew about the Umbra Mortine.
"Do you know anything about the Umbra Mortine?" I asked in the darkroom.
Gray was silent for a moment until I heard a sigh. "I know very little about it. But when we wake up, we will read about it."
"Your father seemed to know where to find information about it, but I think he was hiding something from me."
"Well, that's my father for you. He hides everything from anyone. He trusts no one but himself."
We let silence fill the space between us before I couldn't stand it any longer. "Did you talk to the dean about Egrick?"
"I did."
As exhaustion hit me, I realized I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want the Umbra Mortine to take over, especially if it would face Gray. I didn't know what damage it could to do him even if it was tied to the bed.
"And was it good?"
"It was necessary. But Stella, you should sleep," Gray said with a sigh.
"Are you going to sleep?"
"I'm going to try."
If he slept, then maybe I would be lucky, and he wouldn't face the Umbra Mortine. "Ok, but please don't be too worried when the Umbra Mortine takes over. Don't listen to it."
"I promise. Now, goodnight, Stella."
"Goodnight, Gray," I echoed, and closed my eyes.
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